i really need some help. how do i get the motivation to study & get rid of/make better of my depression and anxiety??

The link to the artikulo with madami backstory & information things to help you understand my situation will be linked below. I'm sorry if it's super super long... I just needed to get a few things off of my chest. I'd really really appreciate it if someone could help me... I don't know how much longer I'll be able to stand feeling like this. I hate the emptiness & it makes me want to rip my hair out.
Thanks again:-)

link