that's right, my tuktok 11 paborito pelikula of 2013 list, that's done and outta the way. now, it's time to write down my tuktok 11 worst pelikula of 2013. or as i like to call it "the fun list". why am i making this? cause we all know every best listahan needs a worst list, and shit pelikula need pag-ibig too or at least just let 'em know they're shit movies. that's why i'm here, guys. also, thanks so much for checking my tuktok 11 paborito pelikula of 2013. and if you ended up hating everything on that list... well, sorry to hear that, but hey. everybody has their own opinion. that being said, let's get started with these shit movies:
starting off my list: Getaway. normally, i don't mind face-paced movies, cause usually in a movie, the fast pacing can make the movie better and madami enjoyable and entertaining to watch. but "Getaway" is just... holy shit! this movie was way too fast, it felt like it was just 25 minutos long. Ethan Hawke was trying, but he couldn't save it. Selena Gomez was there just for the sake of being in the movie, and we didn't get much of a story, the characters sucked and the script was a mess. after the movie was over, i kept scratching my head, i was like "What the hell is wrong with the movie?" and yea it's #11 in my list, so there are other pelikula worse than this and i didn't hate it as much as 98% of the world, but still don't watch "Getaway". it's just a waste of 92 minutes.
susunod movie on the list: The Smurfs 2. i know, this might piss some of you off cause you probably did like the movie, but this is MY listahan and to be honest, i didn't like it. it just had a lotta useless product placements, not-funny gags and it was just really stupid, and then i thought "Yea, it was stupid as shit, but it was meant for kids". but then i thought "Well yeah, i get that, but it's making kids stupid". again, it's #10 cause it's not the worst movie of the year. we got madami pelikula worse than this.
coming in #9, it's probably the most disappointing movie i seen a long. it's "Die Hard"-ish. yeah, that's right. i'm not gonna call it Die Hard 5, i'm not gonna call it A Good araw to Die Hard, cause it ain't the "Die Hard" we once knew. now, it's "Die Hard"-ish, cause it wasn't really "Die Hard" anymore, it didn't feel like a appropriate "Die Hard" sequel. it was nothing but just Bruce Willis taking a nap the whole time just to get his paycheck. he was like "I don't have the motivation anymore, but sure i'll get a paycheck. What i gotta do?" not act like John McClane? consider it done, nice doing business with you. the plot was a complete mess, it had shitty bad guys, John McClane was nowhere to be found in the whole movie. and he had shit chemistry with his spy son. they might be making a "Die Hard 6" sooner or later, so i should've happy about that. but this movie killed it off for me. i'm like "No, it's gonna be terrible". shitty chemistry cop-ish movies, Hesus Christ! when they're awful, they're awful!
yea, guys. we got another sequel. Adam Sandler... just stop trying man! Grown Ups 2. Hesus Christ! ya know, when i see a Adam Sandler movie, i go into that movie thinking "Maybe this one's not as bad as the last one. Maybe he finally found his "Happy Gilmore" spark to make him funny again". nope, it's dead. even Rob Schneider wasn't in "Grown Ups 2", maybe cause he was like "Sorry, i can do better". god, i really hope there's not a "Grown Ups 3", please, just don't this to us again!
yea! a survival sci-fi movie. it's gotta be cool, bad asno and awesome, right? nope, not really. this movie makes think "not ever!" After Earth was supposed to be exciting and intense as hell, we should've been routing for our father-son team the whole. but in reality, "After Earth" was just another shitty movie sa pamamagitan ng the director of "The Happening". how the hell do you take Will Smith and make him as interesting as a damn cheese wheel?! he's not the main bituin of the movie. his less interesting son, Jaden is. and i understand they wanted a father-son bonding experience but holy shit, it was bad! don't do that to us just for the sake of you having that in your damn movie! and like i said, "After Earth" was directed M. Night Shyamalan, but it was never marketed like that. i was hoping he'd go back to making good movies, ya know back into his glory days, but no. apparently he's still making shit pelikula like "After Earth". M. Night Shyamalan, stop trying and go take a nap.
coming in at #6, we got a real shit-heap in the spoof comedy genre that's totally gonna make my worst listahan and it's Scary Movie 5. i used to really like and enjoy spoof comedies, ya know back when spoof comedy was good and funny. but "Scary Movie" is just... holy shit! these pelikula just keep getting worse and worse and worse, and now we get this. this, the absolute worst of the "saga" that makes you wanna go "Even "Scary Movie 1" sucks now". if you wanna watch a okay spoof movie just spend 90 minutos on, go watch "Superhero Movie". just don't watch "Scary Movie 5", cause i don't want you to suffer like i did.
god damn it! not another shitty chemistry cop-ish movie! hey, what "Men in Black" met supernatural? that's gonna be awesome, it's a big win right there for your career. just do it like you should, and then it'll be great. but then, R.I.P.D came out as summer movie last taon and i was like "No, apparently not". cause it looks like we got "Men in Black" meets the best version of "Jonah Hex", which is just a shit-heap. a lotta plot holes in the movie, a shitty script, Jeff Bridges kept talking like a while version of Bill Cosby the whole time and Ryan Reynolds was like "God, after "Green Lantern", i so hope this one works!" sorry Ryan. "R.I.P.D" sucked ass. so, there goes your paycheck and better luck on your susunod movie.
now we're getting done to this last 4 pieces of shit that just hit me deep inside and it was sad.
and, coming in at #4, we got your everyday shitty horror garbage from January last year, and that movie's Texas Chainsaw 3D. now, correct me if i'm wrong with this, but as i remember it, i'm pretty sure this was the first movie that came out in 2013. and it really started the taon off with a big bang, didn't it? oh my god! and "Texas Chainsaw 3D" had the balls to be like "Okay, guys. This is the real and official sequel to "Texas Chainsaw Massacre". Everything else that came out before this, it don't matter anymore!" the really sexy girls who can't act for shit and who're in the movie just for the sake of getting a paycheck, their characters are horseshit also. i think the only way you can watch this movie it's if you're either trashed, high or stoned with your friends, and even you'll still hate this piece of shit, but come on. it's a thing to do. like i said, "Texas Chainsaw 3D": just your ordinary January garbage that you really wished it never happened.
you know what? i'm done with the teen drama-romance bullshit. seriously. The Host should just fucking die! it was a invasion of the body snatchers jumping on the teen bandwagon bullshit. "The Host" is a shitty movie based off the shitty book written sa pamamagitan ng the shitty may-akda who wrote the shitty "Twilight" books. it's just "Twilight" with aliens. that's it! i'm done with it.
good god, people! when will you ever realize that sketch comedy pelikula doesn't work anymore? these pelikula are just retarded and not funny this time, so stop doing it!. and that's why Movie 43 is the poster child of that. oh my god! this was a real shit-heap. i swore to god it was gonna my #1 worst of the year, but it didn't really get there. but it's #2, so it's still god awful! how funny is real-life sketch comedy? it's hilarious and awesome! there are funnier sketch comedies floating everywhere on YouTube that'll make you laugh your asno off. in the movie theater? nope, like i sinabi it's dead now. "Movie 43" is just filled to the brim with big name actors from great pelikula and it's really really sad to see them destroy their own career with this piece of shit. so, if you see any of these actors in a infomercial telling you how you should live your life, don't listen to them. remember, they were in "Movie 43" so they shouldn't be giving you advice. cause we all make better life choices.
and here it is, guys. the Dubai tower of dogshit! this is my #1 worst of 2013, and i'm sure some of you out there were probably thinking "Dude where's that movie? Did he forget all about it?" no, i didn't. i was saving it for #1. InAPPropriate Comedy is my #1! i can never watch "InAPPropriate Comedy" ever again! give "Movie 43" a half-ass credit, at least the last sketch comedy was kinda funny. there's absolutely NO single funny sketch in this whole movie! built with god awful jokes that are NEVER funny, a messy script and a stupid plot that's just all over the place with terrible and worthless characters, that's "InAPPropriate Comedy". Hesus Christ! Adrian Brody was in this movie.., man, why?! how the hell would you take Adrian Brody and turn him into a unfunny and uninteresting gay asshole?! this movie was directed sa pamamagitan ng Vince Offer, the annoying idiot who did "The Underground Comedy Movie", and that sucked too. but at least "The Underground Comedy Movie" did make me smile a few times. this movie was so terrible, it had to make #1 and it IS. i don't think i ever been this pissed off at a comedy movie like i am right now with "InAPPropriate Comedy". that's why Vince Offer will NEVER make a good movie in his life, cause he sucks! i can never EVER watch this movie ever again, guys! it's almost close enough for me to call it the "BlinkyTM" of 2013. good god, how fucking boring and unfunny can a movie be?
in any case, that was my tuktok 11 worst pelikula of 2013. so, i like to thank y'all for a great 2013. a few great movies, a lotta okay/good pelikula and your fair amount of dogshits. and i can't wait to see what this year's gonna bring us. 2014 is already in, but it started off pretty good.