#1:
MAN: Young man? You trapped in the Seventies? Nobody says "young man".
What else you gonna say? "Fresh"?
LAZLOW: Look--whatever, homeboy. Listen. Tell me what the kids are into. I gotta connect with the kids. Not my private parts, you know, but--that's for online--but, what are you out doing?
MAN: Yo, I'm delivering weed.
LAZLOW: But, you--you're only like thirteen.
MAN: Exactly. I won't go to prison.
#2:
GIRL: Yeah, um, oh, my God, am I on the radio!?
LAZLOW: Do you not realize that? This is a microphone, stupid!
#3:
Alan McClean: Speaking gives an atmosphere of fear!.. Waterboarding gives an atmosphere of terrified respect!… I'm Alan McClean.. And I realized parenting books are easy to write when you re-purpose what you learned in the Marines about what breaks a man.. Let's face it.. Kids are rotten little SHITS!!.. I wouldn't be here today, if my parents hadn't smacked the SHIT out of me!.. Buy my book, "hitting kids works wonders”, today!.. And get respect from your kids!.. The government approved way!
#4:
Channel X voice: FUCK THIS FUCKIN SONG!!
#5:
Girl: Like earlier.. I saw, this girl dying.. But she wouldn't be dying if she had insurence.. So I walked away.
Man: Wow.. Did you even call an ambulance?
Girl: Coarse not.. Wouldn't give her the satisfaction.
Man: .. What happened?
Girl: Well... She died.. But she learned a VALUABLE lesson!
#6:
JUDGE GRADY: What? Look what's happened to you! Why you got a hyphen name? Why you gonna be half a man? She took away you manhood, she masculated you good and proper. You got some bitch's name on half your shit! Do you pee sitting down?
CHUCK: Ummm..... (audience moans)
JUDGE GRADY: DO YOU PEE SITTING DOWN?!
CHUCK: Well, we're equal partners and it's not fair that she has took the toilet up so I don't really mind...
JUDGE GRADY: Equal partners? You gonna give a woman's last name? I's surprised that you haven't started growing tits. For the pag-ibig of all that is holy in the world...
CHUCK: You know the deal judge, I have to agree. I'll never get laid again.
MAN: Young man? You trapped in the Seventies? Nobody says "young man".
What else you gonna say? "Fresh"?
LAZLOW: Look--whatever, homeboy. Listen. Tell me what the kids are into. I gotta connect with the kids. Not my private parts, you know, but--that's for online--but, what are you out doing?
MAN: Yo, I'm delivering weed.
LAZLOW: But, you--you're only like thirteen.
MAN: Exactly. I won't go to prison.
#2:
GIRL: Yeah, um, oh, my God, am I on the radio!?
LAZLOW: Do you not realize that? This is a microphone, stupid!
#3:
Alan McClean: Speaking gives an atmosphere of fear!.. Waterboarding gives an atmosphere of terrified respect!… I'm Alan McClean.. And I realized parenting books are easy to write when you re-purpose what you learned in the Marines about what breaks a man.. Let's face it.. Kids are rotten little SHITS!!.. I wouldn't be here today, if my parents hadn't smacked the SHIT out of me!.. Buy my book, "hitting kids works wonders”, today!.. And get respect from your kids!.. The government approved way!
#4:
Channel X voice: FUCK THIS FUCKIN SONG!!
#5:
Girl: Like earlier.. I saw, this girl dying.. But she wouldn't be dying if she had insurence.. So I walked away.
Man: Wow.. Did you even call an ambulance?
Girl: Coarse not.. Wouldn't give her the satisfaction.
Man: .. What happened?
Girl: Well... She died.. But she learned a VALUABLE lesson!
#6:
JUDGE GRADY: What? Look what's happened to you! Why you got a hyphen name? Why you gonna be half a man? She took away you manhood, she masculated you good and proper. You got some bitch's name on half your shit! Do you pee sitting down?
CHUCK: Ummm..... (audience moans)
JUDGE GRADY: DO YOU PEE SITTING DOWN?!
CHUCK: Well, we're equal partners and it's not fair that she has took the toilet up so I don't really mind...
JUDGE GRADY: Equal partners? You gonna give a woman's last name? I's surprised that you haven't started growing tits. For the pag-ibig of all that is holy in the world...
CHUCK: You know the deal judge, I have to agree. I'll never get laid again.
#1:
Why is canada a ligtas country?
"Cause the mighty king gansa gives us pagkain to eat. And perverts say please ad thank after each rape..
#2:
Every time I get masterbate, I get angry and throw my pagong against a wall"
"I don't think your masterbating in the RIGHT way"
#3:
Halloween falls on a Friday the 13th this taon for the first time in 666 years. I’m totally stabbing someone.
"You two huh?"
#4:
The devil has five letters and so does weed:
"Good for you, here's a lollipop"
#5:
Why are Americans stupid?
"Cause they are close to Canada"
#6:
Why are ALL Americans obese, stupid and religious?
"Because ALL Canadians like hockey"
#7:
Is America planning to invade Vancouver?
"No, that's Japen"
#8:
Do they have trees in America?
"Coarse not"
Why is canada a ligtas country?
"Cause the mighty king gansa gives us pagkain to eat. And perverts say please ad thank after each rape..
#2:
Every time I get masterbate, I get angry and throw my pagong against a wall"
"I don't think your masterbating in the RIGHT way"
#3:
Halloween falls on a Friday the 13th this taon for the first time in 666 years. I’m totally stabbing someone.
"You two huh?"
#4:
The devil has five letters and so does weed:
"Good for you, here's a lollipop"
#5:
Why are Americans stupid?
"Cause they are close to Canada"
#6:
Why are ALL Americans obese, stupid and religious?
"Because ALL Canadians like hockey"
#7:
Is America planning to invade Vancouver?
"No, that's Japen"
#8:
Do they have trees in America?
"Coarse not"
"(singing) I just want to be with my fruit!"
#2:
Guy: What you doing with it anyway?
Christian: You know. It's probably one of those things you SHOULDN'T ask about.
#3:
Jimmy: Let's go do this (loads gun)
Christian: Wait, is that real gu- JIMMY!!
#4:
"That is the blackest thing I ever heard in my life!"
#5:
Jimmy: Oh shit. What do I do?
Christian: Blame it on your dad..
#6:
"look everything's chill.. We'll chill!"
#7:
"My night was differently tighter than yours!"
#8:
Jimmy: Why are you holding a camera?
Christian: I'm taping.
Jimmy: No your not. Your on FaceTime.
Christian: Look. Just let me have this.. I'm bored as fuck over here.
#9:
"(crying) yo, I'm like, gonna kill self!... I just watched that fashion show.. And I realized... I'm never gonna have a girl who's that sexy.. I mean.. How are they all so perfect!?"
#10:
"WOOOOOOOW!!"
It's clear at this point that saying I "like" Korn would be an understatement..
I never shut up about them. And never stop posting their songs on fanpop..
But I never forgotten about Metallica.
The band I GREW UP with.
And have every album of.
So, yeah..
It's a hard to know who I like MORE..
It's like saying choosing Iron Maiden or Avenged Sevenfold. It's not possible. :)..
Despite the fact I pag-ibig EVERY avenged Sevenfold song.
And only CERTAIN Iron Maiden songs.
The trooper.
Run to the Hills.
Number of the beast.
Ace High.
Fear of the dark.
Either way.
Maybe you guys have "different" opinions..
If so.
Say about it in your comments..
I never shut up about them. And never stop posting their songs on fanpop..
But I never forgotten about Metallica.
The band I GREW UP with.
And have every album of.
So, yeah..
It's a hard to know who I like MORE..
It's like saying choosing Iron Maiden or Avenged Sevenfold. It's not possible. :)..
Despite the fact I pag-ibig EVERY avenged Sevenfold song.
And only CERTAIN Iron Maiden songs.
The trooper.
Run to the Hills.
Number of the beast.
Ace High.
Fear of the dark.
Either way.
Maybe you guys have "different" opinions..
If so.
Say about it in your comments..