Part 2! (:
Oh, and for anyone confused, everyone is human. Stefan & Damon aren't brothers, but best friends. Make madami sense now? [x
sa pamamagitan ng Thursday night, I was beginning to think of chickening out of our date. That just wasn’t our type of thing to do. But I think the real reason I didn’t want to go was what he supposedly had planned for afterwards.
Sure, it may seem like no big deal, since I was obviously far from clean in that area. There was just something wrong about taking that from Stefan, knowing deep down that I’d rather be with someone else. It wasn’t fair any of us in the situation.
I sat down at my mesa yet again, tahanan from a long araw of trying to avoid Damon around Stefan, as usual. It was becoming so routine to me – I don’t remember my life before this secret. It was always on my mind, always trying to get me in madami trouble than I was already in.
I pulled out my old diary from the drawer in my desk. The last entry was from two years ago, on my first petsa with Stefan, before life got complicated. It had been so long since I’d written. I turned to the susunod clean sheet of paper and began writing. It began as just another diary entry.
Dear diary, I wrote, I pag-ibig him. I truly do. But there’s someone else, someone that makes me feel so alive and awake every time I’m with him. I’ve been lying to Stefan for months now, going behind his back to feed my obsession. The guilt eats me alive, but whenever I feel lonely and down, Damon’s always there. We have a connection that Stefan and I don’t, and he fills that void. I know I can’t stop seeing Damon, but it just makes things harder with Stefan. I’ve even thought of ditching our petsa to see Damon. I know it’s wrong of me, but then I think of all the possibilities … my head spins. Stefan is the greatest boyfriend and all, cute and innocent. Damon is his opposite – bad reputation, sexy and dangerous. He appeals to my wild side, successfully bringing it out every chance he gets. My puso reacts just thinking of him and what he does to me. What do I do? I can’t end my relationship with Stefan or stop rendezvousing with Damon, my puso won’t allow me to do either. I’ve come to a dead end: continue what I’m doing and let life take it’s course. I don’t know what to do anymore.
“Wow,” I sinabi to myself, letting out a breath of relief. I felt lighter, like something was lifted off my chest, a burden. Maybe the burden wasn’t gone, but the guilt was somewhat lifted. Now I had a decision to be made.
My eyes drifted to my phone, wondering what to do. Call Stefan now and tell him I can’t come, or call Damon and ask him what I should do? Crap, I thought. I decided to procrastinate and check to see if either of them were on I.M. I was in luck – Damon was on.
elenag125: I need advice.
dsalvatorexx: About Stefan is my guess.
elenag125: Of course it is. I don’t know what to do about our petsa tomorrow. I kinda don’t wanna go.
dsalvatorexx: Just be ‘sick’. He doesn’t have to know. Tell him you got the flu or something, you’ll be out of school tomorrow. It’s the araw before Spring Break, how many people do you think are going to ipakita up anyway?
Well… That was true, and the plan was simple and easy. I would consider it.
elenag125: Good plan, I guess.
dsalvatorexx: There’s a reason you don’t want to go, isn’t there?
Crap, he does know me better than I thought.
elenag125: Fine. There is.
dsalvatorexx: You’re afraid of sleeping with him.
elenag125: Yes, I am. I don’t want to do that to him, knowing I’d rather be with someone else. He deserves better, Damon. I’d be his first if I went through with this.
dsalvatorexx: If it’s what he wants, it’s going to be his mistake if he regrets it. You’re thinking too much into this.
elenag125: No, I’m just trying to save him from hurt. And he still thinks I’m . . . ya know.
dsalvatorexx: A virgin? Well, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were, too. And it’s not like you can tell him who you Nawawala it to. That would blow our cover.
elenag125: Yea, I gathered that much. What do I do?
dsalvatorexx: Easy. Go with my plan, don’t sleep with him. If he loves you, he’ll understand.
elenag125: I just feel terrible about the whole situation.
dsalvatorexx: Your decision, cupcake. Remember, it’s not up to me, but you and your hormones. Sleep on it. If you still don’t want to go in the morning, call him and tell him you’re sick.
I bit my lip, contemplating what to do. He knew what I was thinking and what I really wanted.
dsalvatorexx: Oh, and my door’s still open. Whatever you decide.
dsalvatorexx is now offline.
I closed the I.M. screen and shut off the computer.
I shook my head, my puso set with what I was going to do. I picked up the phone and dialed Stefan’s number. I can’t believe myself.
“Hey babe, what’s up,” Was his usual casual greeting.
“I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it to the pelikula tomorrow,” I attempted my best ‘fake’ cough.
“Oh no, you sound horrible,” He believed me? “Do you need me to come over and help take care of you?”
“No!” I sinabi a little too quickly. “I mean, no, I don’t want you catching whatever I have.”
“I hope you feel better.”
“Listen, I’m sorry I’m making us miss our movie date,” I apologized.
“Hey, no apologizing here. You can’t stop from getting sick, this isn’t your fault.”
If only you knew.
“Thanks for being so understanding, Stefan. pag-ibig you. See you over Spring Break susunod week if I’m better sa pamamagitan ng then?”
“Sure. Goodnight, pag-ibig you,” At least he didn’t sound too upset. It was easy to dampen his spirits over something he was excited about.
I know I shouldn’t feel the way I do, but I’m madami than happy I don’t have to go through that, at least not now. He’s definitely not ready.
Since I got that off my chest and taken care of, I wanted Damon. I knew I couldn’t go over there tonight, so I’d wait until tomorrow night. Even if Stefan road sa pamamagitan ng to check if I was still here, he wouldn’t see my car anyway, I kept it parked in the back, where you couldn’t see it from the road. And if I waited late enough, he’d think I was asleep.
Elena, stop. It’s pathetic that I spend my time on how to lie to my boyfriend so I could go see his best friend. Whatever, I thought. I’d be seeing Damon tomorrow, and my thoughts would turn to only him and I’d forget the whole situation, if only for the time I was with him.
Tell me whatcha think?