Enjoy!
Season 3 / Episode 20: - Talkin' About My Regeneration
Dharma Finklestein Montgomery: One time, when we were having sex, I pretended, you know, that I didn't have an orgasm.
Greg Montgomery: You faked, not having one?
Dharma Finklestein Montgomery: Well, I wanted to go again and I didn't want to have to wait in line. I'm sorry.
Season 3 / Episode 4: - Play Lady Play
Dharma: [holds up ice cube] Look, Greg, it's your mother's heart!
Greg: Melt it and we'd have your father's brain!
Season 2 / Episode 9: - Brought to You in DharmaVision
Jane Cavanaugh: [hearing Greg and Larry screaming about a madala in the background] What was that?
Dharma Finklestein Montgomery: I dunno. It sounded like...a couple of Girl Scouts crying!
Season 2 / Episode 8: - Like, Dharma's Totally Got a Date
Greg Montgomery: Well, I wouldn't want our marriage to get in the way of your dating.
Season 1 / Episode 10: - The First Thanksgiving
Kitty Montgomery: Oh, Gregory, darling, every bride thinks she wants to cook a Thanksgiving hapunan and it always ends up the same. Someone cries, someone is rushed to the emergency room and a perfectly lovely bird gets wasted. Which, if I don't eat soon, will be *me*.
Season 1 / Episode 8: - Mr. Montgomery Goes to Washington
Dharma: [to Abby and Larry] Hey, guess what I'm doing!
Larry: Acid?
Season 1 / Episode 6: - Yoga and Boo, Boo
Dharma: [answering Greg's cell phone] The cellular customer you have called has traveled outside the service area. Please hang up and return to a simpler way of life.
Season 1 / Episode 6: - Yoga and Boo, Boo
Dharma: Greg, don't you understand? This injury is the universe's way of telling you to slow down.
Greg: Any universe that talks to me through my groin can go around the corner and halik my butt.
Season 1 / Episode 5: - The Ex-Files
Greg: As unusual as this may sound, I'm not really into picking up guys for my ex-girlfriend, with my wife.
Season 1 / Episode 5: - The Ex-Files
Edward Montgomery: Gregory I appreciate you taking a moment to settle this little thing.
Greg: No problem dad. That's why the FBI built the crime lab, to get to the bottom of these critical alak Rummi disputes.
Unknown Episode
Larry: Hey, Kitty saw me naked.
Dharma: Me too.
Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot
Dharma: [answering Greg's cell phone, after having slept with Greg] Greg's pants. He's not in them right now.
Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot
Greg: You wanna have children?
Dharma: Yeah, unless you wanna have 'em!
Unknown Episode
Dharma: You're gonna be a great Dad!
Greg: How do you know? How am I gonna know what to do?
Dharma: Oh, you'll watch what I do. You'll totally disapprove and do the complete opposite.
Unknown Episode
Greg: Come on,Mother, do you really think Dad enjoyed sitting on a blanket in the park watching Othello?
Kitty: He cried.
Greg: That's because you ran out of wine.
Unknown Episode
Jane Deaux: What's that? It smells like you're frying vomit!
Dharma: Close. I'm making a great big pot of Haggis
Jane Deaux: What have you been drinking?
Dharma: Scotch! Which was invented sa pamamagitan ng the great Scotsman, Angus McBarf when his wife told him what was for dinner.
Unknown Episode
Dharma: Honey, are you OK?
Greg: I'm fine. I'm just lying here trying to decide whether your father is a hole surrounded sa pamamagitan ng ass.
Unknown Episode
Greg: Were you this sarcastic before we met or is this something I have done?
Dharma: A little you, a little your mother.
Season 4 / Episode 20: - The story of K.
Dharma: Your mother is a lusty bulkan waiting to erupt!
Greg: Okay, we have to establish some ground rules here. We never use the words mother, lusty and erupt in the same sentence.
Unknown Episode
Dharma: ...but that doesn't change the fact that we have no money.
Marci: Maybe not, but we've got love.
Dharma: Well, I could try to pay the phone bill with love, but I think it's a felony.
Marci: Actually, prostitution is only a misdemeanor.
Dharma: Great, that takes care of the phone bill!
Unknown Episode
Kitty: Come Edward, there's someone I'd like you to meet.
Edward Montgomery: I hope his name is Johnny Walker.
Kitty: It's the archbishop.
Edward Montgomery: I hope it's Archbishop Johnny Walker.
Unknown Episode
Dharma: [about running opponent Karen Love] It's her name. I mean, how can you *not* vote for "care and love"? Guess I might as well change my name to "lower taxes and free balloons for all the kids."
Season 3 / Episode 20: - Talkin' About My Regeneration
Dharma Finklestein Montgomery: One time, when we were having sex, I pretended, you know, that I didn't have an orgasm.
Greg Montgomery: You faked, not having one?
Dharma Finklestein Montgomery: Well, I wanted to go again and I didn't want to have to wait in line. I'm sorry.
Season 3 / Episode 4: - Play Lady Play
Dharma: [holds up ice cube] Look, Greg, it's your mother's heart!
Greg: Melt it and we'd have your father's brain!
Season 2 / Episode 9: - Brought to You in DharmaVision
Jane Cavanaugh: [hearing Greg and Larry screaming about a madala in the background] What was that?
Dharma Finklestein Montgomery: I dunno. It sounded like...a couple of Girl Scouts crying!
Season 2 / Episode 8: - Like, Dharma's Totally Got a Date
Greg Montgomery: Well, I wouldn't want our marriage to get in the way of your dating.
Season 1 / Episode 10: - The First Thanksgiving
Kitty Montgomery: Oh, Gregory, darling, every bride thinks she wants to cook a Thanksgiving hapunan and it always ends up the same. Someone cries, someone is rushed to the emergency room and a perfectly lovely bird gets wasted. Which, if I don't eat soon, will be *me*.
Season 1 / Episode 8: - Mr. Montgomery Goes to Washington
Dharma: [to Abby and Larry] Hey, guess what I'm doing!
Larry: Acid?
Season 1 / Episode 6: - Yoga and Boo, Boo
Dharma: [answering Greg's cell phone] The cellular customer you have called has traveled outside the service area. Please hang up and return to a simpler way of life.
Season 1 / Episode 6: - Yoga and Boo, Boo
Dharma: Greg, don't you understand? This injury is the universe's way of telling you to slow down.
Greg: Any universe that talks to me through my groin can go around the corner and halik my butt.
Season 1 / Episode 5: - The Ex-Files
Greg: As unusual as this may sound, I'm not really into picking up guys for my ex-girlfriend, with my wife.
Season 1 / Episode 5: - The Ex-Files
Edward Montgomery: Gregory I appreciate you taking a moment to settle this little thing.
Greg: No problem dad. That's why the FBI built the crime lab, to get to the bottom of these critical alak Rummi disputes.
Unknown Episode
Larry: Hey, Kitty saw me naked.
Dharma: Me too.
Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot
Dharma: [answering Greg's cell phone, after having slept with Greg] Greg's pants. He's not in them right now.
Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot
Greg: You wanna have children?
Dharma: Yeah, unless you wanna have 'em!
Unknown Episode
Dharma: You're gonna be a great Dad!
Greg: How do you know? How am I gonna know what to do?
Dharma: Oh, you'll watch what I do. You'll totally disapprove and do the complete opposite.
Unknown Episode
Greg: Come on,Mother, do you really think Dad enjoyed sitting on a blanket in the park watching Othello?
Kitty: He cried.
Greg: That's because you ran out of wine.
Unknown Episode
Jane Deaux: What's that? It smells like you're frying vomit!
Dharma: Close. I'm making a great big pot of Haggis
Jane Deaux: What have you been drinking?
Dharma: Scotch! Which was invented sa pamamagitan ng the great Scotsman, Angus McBarf when his wife told him what was for dinner.
Unknown Episode
Dharma: Honey, are you OK?
Greg: I'm fine. I'm just lying here trying to decide whether your father is a hole surrounded sa pamamagitan ng ass.
Unknown Episode
Greg: Were you this sarcastic before we met or is this something I have done?
Dharma: A little you, a little your mother.
Season 4 / Episode 20: - The story of K.
Dharma: Your mother is a lusty bulkan waiting to erupt!
Greg: Okay, we have to establish some ground rules here. We never use the words mother, lusty and erupt in the same sentence.
Unknown Episode
Dharma: ...but that doesn't change the fact that we have no money.
Marci: Maybe not, but we've got love.
Dharma: Well, I could try to pay the phone bill with love, but I think it's a felony.
Marci: Actually, prostitution is only a misdemeanor.
Dharma: Great, that takes care of the phone bill!
Unknown Episode
Kitty: Come Edward, there's someone I'd like you to meet.
Edward Montgomery: I hope his name is Johnny Walker.
Kitty: It's the archbishop.
Edward Montgomery: I hope it's Archbishop Johnny Walker.
Unknown Episode
Dharma: [about running opponent Karen Love] It's her name. I mean, how can you *not* vote for "care and love"? Guess I might as well change my name to "lower taxes and free balloons for all the kids."
