His head snapped up at her words and he looked at her with disbelief. “Are you really going to tell me Blair or is this another one of your games. Because if it’s a game, you might as well not even bother.”
Blair looked into his face and she felt her puso beat with trepidation and excitement. A lock of hair fell over his face and she brushed it back with her fingers, her hand stayed on the side of his face. “I really want to tell you, Chuck. I’ve always wanted to, I’ve just been scared.”
He sat down on a chair in her bedroom and brought her down to sit susunod to him. “Tell me, Blair.” He insisted.
She nodded but found that the words just wouldn’t come out of her mouth. “I’m afraid that you’re going to hate me when I tell you the truth, Chuck. And I don’t think I could madala it if you do wind up hating me. You’re the one person that I always felt that I could tell anything but this just makes me feel so uneasy.”
Chuck placed one of his hands at the back of her neck and started to rub the tension away. As soon as his hand touched her, she felt the electricity crackle between them. She looked into his eyes and she knew that he felt the same thing too.
He continued to rub her neck while he said, “I will never hate you, Blair. I need for you to believe me on that. When you left, I wanted to hate you because of how you made me feel. But I could never bring myself to do it. And when my father died, I always expected you to be the one person that would always be here for me and when you weren’t, I won’t deny that it didn’t hurt.”
She wiped a tear away that had dripped down her cheek. “I wanted to be there for you so much, Chuck. I never wanted to leave but something made me.”
“What?” His puso positively skipped a beat while he waited for her answer.
The tears continued to cascade down her face while she looked at him. Blair could still feel the same pain that she had the araw when she knew that she was going to have to leave. It hurt as much today as ever. “I left because I…”
Just as she was about to tell him, the door burst open and Ben was on the other side taking in the situation. Chuck still had his hand on her neck and Blair had placed her hand on his thigh. She didn’t remove her hand and looked at Ben with a look keen to annoyance. “Ben, I’m in the middle of something. What’s the problem?”
Ben stepped into the room and Chuck growled with impatience. Ben went over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder and tried to get her to ilipat away from Chuck. “Blair, this isn’t sensible.”
Blair threw his hand off of her. “Ben, this isn’t the time to interrupt. I was just in the middle of telling Chuck something.”
Chuck stayed silent while he watched the exchange between them but he noticed that Blair was pissed as anything.
“Were you really just about to tell him the truth, Blair?”
“Yes.” She answered without hesitation.
Chuck stood up angrily and shoved Blair’s hand off of him. “Are you really fucking telling me that your fiancée knows why you left but I still don’t?”
She rushed over to him and ignored Ben. “I was just about to tell you though, Chuck.”
“Blair, don’t.” Ben called from the corner of the room.
Chuck glowered at him. “Will you shut the fuck up and just let her tell me? I’ve waited over four years for this araw and I don’t want to be deprived of knowing any longer.”
Ben slowly walked over to them and grabbed Blair sa pamamagitan ng the shoulders. “Blair, think about what will happen if you tell him. You already know that he hates you, so why even bother telling him. It’s only going to make him hate you more.”
Blair flinched but Chuck growled, “I don’t hate her. You know nothing about our past, so don’t act like you do.”
Ben nodded. “That’s why Blair told me that you were the most notorious womanizer that Manhattan has ever seen. It was all just about sex to you, wasn’t it? Don’t spare Blair’s feelings just because she still cares about you. She deserves to know the truth, Bass.”
Chuck spoke to Ben but looked into Blair’s face. “It was about sex for all the other women that I’ve slept with but that was never how it was with Blair. From araw one it was madami than that, and she knows that. Don’t you?” His voice had taken on a needy tone and he needed to know that she knew that he had cared about her.
A watery smile came to her face. “I knew that, Chuck. I was the only girl that ever made an impact on your life just like you were the only man to do that for me.”
“Blair.” Ben admonished.
She shook her head in irritation. “Before Ben. I’m talking about when we were teenagers. Now would you please leave us alone for a while so I can tell him the truth?”
He shook his head. “Just talk to me for a minuto and then if you want to still tell him the reason you left, then I will let you.”
“Let you?” Chuck questioned. “What do you think you own her? No one owns a Waldorf.”
Blair grinned at his comment but turned back to her fiancée. “Fine, you have five minutes. But I’m not going to be persuaded, I am going to tell Chuck the truth. He deserves it, Ben.”
Blair made to walk out of her bedroom but Chuck caught her wrist in his hand. “Don’t go, Blair.” He pleaded. “If you do, you’re never going to tell me what happened and what made you want to leave. And I need to know. It’s not a tanong of wanting, I need to know.”
“I’ll be back in five minutos and I promise you that I will tell you the truth, Chuck. It’s past time and I have to let you know.”
Chuck shook his head in exasperation and Blair and Ben left the room.
As soon as Blair led Ben into another room, she rounded on him. “Why the hell did you have to come and barge in on us just as I was about to tell him?”
“Blair, I just want to make sure that you know what you’re doing. Because if you go back in there and tell him, you’re never going to be able to erase it.”
She sighed. “I know what I’m doing, Ben. I’ve kept the truth from here for over four years; don’t you think it’s time that I told him the truth?”
He nodded. “I know that he needs to know Blair, but I’m just trying to think of you here. You know that as soon as he finds out, he’s going to want to destroy you. He’ll never forgive you for what you’ve done to him. He’ll make certain to destroy everything that you know and love. Then you’ll be back at square one.”
“How do you even know that?” Blair asked in astonishment. “You just met Chuck tonight, you know nothing about him. He told me tonight that he could never hate me and I believe, and there’s nothing that you can say that will convince me not to tell him.”
“Alright, I just want to make sure that you think twice about this decision. I just don’t want to see you hurt anymore sa pamamagitan ng him Blair, I hate seeing you in so much pain. I know you still pag-ibig him. It’s evident on your face, the way you react to him, and most importantly, he can see it too. Don’t let him do this to you again, Blair.”
She walked over to him and placed a hand on his face while her eyes glossed over with tears. “You’re good for me, you know that? I don’t know if I still pag-ibig him, Ben. But seeing him again has brought back all these memories and not all of them were bad. I see him and I just want us to get back to that place where we’re comfortable with each other. I still care deeply for Chuck and I know that it doesn’t matter if I’m in pag-ibig with him because we both know what our relationship is. I agreed to take on the secret you’ve been keeping your whole life, just as you did with me. And I’ve never regretted that, Ben.”
“Are you still going to marry me, Blair?”
“Yes, I will. That’s what we agreed on when we decided that we were going to have to fake our relationship to be able to keep both of our secrets. I would never back out of that now.”
Ben breathed a sigh of relief. “Are you still going to tell Chuck the truth? Don’t do it, Blair.”
“I won’t tell him right now but eventually it’s going to come out, Ben. Let me go tell him myself that I can’t do this right now and I’ll meet you downstairs.”
He threaded a hand through one of hers. “Fifteen minutes?” She nodded. “I’m really happy that you decided to see reason Blair because you know that Chuck never loved you.”
At that moment she felt like slapping him right across the face but she sinabi nothing to him. She thought he was wrong, but she wasn’t sure about Chuck never loving her because she could still see the way he looked at her, and she knew that what they had between them would never die. But she still wasn’t convinced that he had ever loved her and that killed a part of her. She watched as Ben headed back downstairs obviously pleased with himself that he had convinced her not to tell Chuck the truth. Blair had deceived him though and she wasn’t sorry about that. She slipped her way back into her own bedroom.
“Well?” Chuck questioned as soon as she had walked back through the door.
Blair grimaced. “Ben doesn’t want me to tell you the truth because he thinks that you never cared about me, and he doesn’t want me to get hurt anymore.”
He shook his head in disgust. “Of course, he doesn’t want you to fucking tell me. He’s jealous and you know that what he sinabi was all bullshit. I can’t believe this; you did it to me again Blair. You told me that you would tell and now you’re just going to back out of it again? Why are you such a coward?”
“I’m not a coward!”
“Yes, you fucking are.” He snarled. “Was this all just a little game that the two of your concocted up to see how I would react? You were never going to tell me, were you?”
“Chuck.” She breathed hard due to her extreme nervousness. “You know that I would never play a game like that with you. I was planning on telling you and I still am, but it has to be tomorrow. I want you to come over here tomorrow afternoon while Ben isn’t here and I will tell you the truth. I promise you.”
He shoved his was past her and strode to the door. “Fuck that! I don’t believe you and who the hell are you kidding sa pamamagitan ng telling me that you wouldn’t play games with me? You’ve been stringing me along ever since that night in the limo. And I’m fucking tired of it and I’m not going to do it anymore.”
She rushed over to him and placed a hand on his back. “Chuck.”
“Don’t do this. I really am going to tell you.”
“Right, I know this is just another one of your petty tricks to get a rise out of me Blair. You’ve done this to me too many times.”
Blair gripped his arm hard and turned him around to face her. She saw the devastated look in his eyes. “Chuck, you’ve got to stop pagganap like everything was my entire fault. I know that what I did to you was horrible but you hurt me too many times to count. What about the araw that I told you that I loved you at Bart’s funeral? Do you remember what you sinabi to me?”
He didn’t answer her but instead looked back at her stoically.
She continued, “I put my puso on the line for you that araw and I wanted too. Your face was so grief stricken and I still remember what you look like, it broke my heart. And that araw when I told you that I loved you it wasn’t because I felt sorry for you or because of pity, it was because I was tired of playing these games between us about who would say it first. I knew that I loved you and I wanted you to hear it, and there was no better time than at your father’s funeral to say it. I saw the emotions come over your face and I knew that you cared about me but I wasn’t sure if you loved me. I wanted to hear you say those three words to me and it would have made me the happiest person in the world. Instead, you said, well, that’s too bad. I still can’t get that out of my head and I’ll never be able too. I know that I hurt you Chuck but when you sinabi that to me, I felt like a piece of me died.”
A glimmer of guilt came over his face. “Blair.” He whispered. “I wanted to tell you but I couldn’t. That was the most horrible araw of my life and it still is.”
“Why couldn’t you tell me?”
He closed his eyes because she was starting to break through and he was developing feelings for her again. He knew that she was only going to fuck him over in the end and so he decided to push whatever he felt for her aside and be cruel to her. Chuck looked into her hopeful eyes and said, “I couldn’t say those words to you because they weren’t true. I cared about you madami than any other woman in my life but I could never bring myself to pag-ibig you, especially after what you did. I’m glad that I never loved you because I would have been destroyed sa pamamagitan ng you.”
The hurt radiated out of her eyes and she gasped for breath as she looked at him. “Is that the truth?”
“It is.” He lied.
Tears continued to stream down her face and she didn’t even try to stop them. “You never loved me. It sounds so strange to say that because a part of me always thought that you did. This changes nothing, Chuck. What you just sinabi hurts me madami than anything else I have ever heard in my life, but I’m not going to take back what I just sinabi because that wouldn’t be truthful. I did pag-ibig you and a part of me will always continue to do so. I will never stop caring for you, Chuck. Like I said, nothing you ever do or say will be enough for me to hate you.” She lightly touched his face. “My feelings will never change and I am going to tell you the truth tomorrow, so make sure you’re here.”
Blair walked to the door and without looking back at him, she left. He stood there a long time just staring at where she had stood. “I pag-ibig you too.” He whispered to the empty room and he wished Blair was still in there, so he could tell her the truth. He had always loved her and nothing could ever change that. Even after everything she had done to him, he could never stop loving her. Tears formed in his eyes but he refused to shed them. Blair Waldorf brought out the worst in him but a part of her also brought out the best.
“Are you okay, Blair?”
Blair turned at the sound of Serena’s voice and she knew that anyone who looked at her would be able to distinguish the pain in her eyes.
“I’m fine, Serena.”
Nate stood behind Serena and he bent down and placed Patrick in Blair’s lap. Patrick immediately noticed that she was upset and planted a wet halik on Blair’s mouth. Serena laughed but all it made Blair do was cry. At seeing this, Patrick got upset and held tighter on to Blair. She tried to comfort him and rub his back but she was sobbing too hard to even do that. Nate eventually took him off of her lap and went to bring him back to his bedroom, to give Serena and Blair a minuto alone.
The concern showed on Serena’s face. “What’s wrong, B?”
She shook her head. “Nothing.” At one look from Serena, she admitted, “Everything. Chuck and I were talking last night and he admitted that he never loved me and it’s just hit me very hard. A part of me always thought that he loved me but I guess that was just stupid. I know that I shouldn’t feel so down about it but I just can’t seem to help myself.”
Serena was furious that her brother had sinabi that to Blair because she knew the truth. She knew that Chuck loved Blair was an intensity that could never change, but she sinabi nothing because it wasn’t her fight. Instead she asked a question. “Do you still pag-ibig him, Blair?”
At the word love, Blair’s head snapped up. “Yes.” She whispered.
Serena gave her a pitying look. “Did you ever get over him?”
She shook her head. “No, I really didn’t. I convinced myself for a while that I did but it was a lie. While I was in France, there wasn’t a night that passed that I didn’t think about him or what we could have had. I just miss him, but at least I know that he never loved me, maybe now I can try to ilipat on.”
“What about Ben?”
“I’m still going to marry him, Serena. He knows that I still pag-ibig Chuck and our relationship is actually based on an arrangement. We both benefit from it and I don’t see any reason to stop it. If Chuck loved me too, then it would be a different story. But seeing as how that isn’t that case, Ben and I will still be getting married in two months.”
Serena shook her head at both Chuck and Blair’s stupidity. She had to tell Blair the truth about Chuck, the truth he had been hiding for so long from Blair. He wasn’t as innocent as all this as he would like everyone to believe, Serena knew the secret that he was hiding from Blair and now was the time to tell her. “Blair, I have to tell you something very important.”
Blair waved her hand. “It will have to wait until later; I’m already late for meeting Chuck. Well, I don’t even know if he is going to ipakita up. But if he does, I am going to tell him the truth. Nothing will stop me this time.”
Serena hugged her. “Good luck with everything, Blair.”
“Thanks, S. I am going to need it.”
Just as she got to the front door, Blair saw that Chuck was there waiting for her. Immediately the feelings of hurt began to creep up on her. “You came.” She sinabi simply.
He quirked an eyebrow. “You sound surprised.”
She inserted her key into the door and went inside, Chuck followed her. “After last night, I didn’t think you would come. It’s obvious that you care nothing for me, so why do you even want to know why I left?”
He started to ilipat towards her and she backed up against the wall. “I told you that I need to know the truth finally. Just tell me.”
“Why?” She whispered. “Last night you made your feelings toward me perfectly clear. So, what does it even matter?”
Chuck grabbed her shoulders in his hands. “What I sinabi last night was a lie. You were getting to me and I just lied, so you would back the hell off and I could try to convince myself that I felt nothing for you.”
“Total shit. I can’t forget you Blair and I want to so badly. Why the hell can’t I ilipat on from you?” He looked deeply into her eyes and she noticed the lust that had appeared.
“Am I supposed to actually believe this when you told me last night that I never meant anything to you? And you accuse me of playing games. You’re just contradicting yourself, Bass.”
A grin lit up his face at the use of her using his last name. It was a term of endearment, but his grin slowly faded. “I loved you, Blair. That’s why I’m still so mapait because you left me and I loved you.”
“You loved me?” The words came out in a rush and she searched his face to see if he was telling the truth. It appeared that he was.
He stroked her hair. “How could you not know? I thought you knew, everybody else did. How long was I mga kaibigan with Nate? And then ever since the first night we made love, I couldn’t forget you. I needed you; it was even a tanong of staying away from you because I couldn’t. It was out of the question. You are the only woman that I have ever slept with madami than once, usually when I fuck somebody, that’s it. I get bored and ilipat onto the next. But with us it was never fucking, it was making love. I screwed up my fucking friendship with Nate for you. I would never do that for anyone but you. And I loved you.” Now that he had finally told her, the words came easily to his lips. He implored her with his eyes to believe him and he knew that she could tell he was telling the truth sa pamamagitan ng the desperate plea in his voice.
Tears sprang to her eyes and she moved her hand to cover his chest where his puso resided. “I loved you too, Chuck. I loved you so much that it consumed me and every time I saw you, I just wanted to tell you. I know what I did to you was really shitty but please tell me that you believe me when I sinabi that I pag-ibig you.” She didn’t even realize her slip, that she had just sinabi pag-ibig instead of loved. But Chuck certainly had.
“I believe you, Blair.” He moved his lips to hers and meant to give her a friendly peck on her mouth to signify that they were finally being honest and open with each other. As soon as his lips touched hers though, it turned into a frenzy, a need to halik her and he crushed his lips down onto hers. She responded instantly, throwing an arm around his neck while he deepened the halik and slid his tongue inside of her mouth. Her tongue met his and he groaned at the sensation. Chuck’s hands slid to her hips as he pushed her harder into the wall. She slammed her pelvis down onto his already raging erection. He broke the halik and began peppering kisses all down the side of her neck and collarbone. He felt her hand slowly creeping down his chest and he grabbed it before it could head further down south.
“Blair.” He grated. “You have to tell me the truth before this goes any further.”
Her eyes were hazy with lust but it appeared that he had broken through, when she took his hand and said, “Come with me.”
Blair held onto his hand as she led him up the stairs and she stopped him outside one of the bedrooms. “Are you ready, Chuck?”
He nodded because he was incapable of talking at the moment.
She took a deep breath and willed her puso to slow down and return to normal beating.
“It’s okay, Blair. Everything will be okay.”
Her hand grasped the door handle and she opened the door and led him into the middle of the bedroom. He gasped when he saw a small child lying asleep.
“This is my daughter, Meg.” She announced.
His eyes immediately glazed over with anger and the lust he felt for Blair only moments nakaraan disappeared. “So, while you were so desperately in pag-ibig with me, you were obviously fucking someone else! Weren’t you?”
She shot him a look at contempt at his language around the sleeping child. “Look at her face, Chuck.”
He complied and moved closer to the bed. The only feature of Blair’s that she had was her nose. She had very dark eyes, almost onyx, and even in sleep she had what you would call a catlike smirk on her face. It suddenly hit him and he felt his knees begin to buckle. Blair’s daughter looked exactly like him. “She’s mine.” He whispered.
To Be Continued…
A/N: The secret is out! I’m sure many of you had already guessed what Blair’s secret was and I hope it was worth the wait. Ben and Chuck also have secrets as you will already know if you have read the chapter, so those will be revealed in later chapters. What do you think?