WARNING This artikulo might be quite offensive to twilight, so if you're a tagahanga of twilight (especially if you're one of these crazy fangirls) please do not waste your time to read this and comment. I know there's no point of me telling you this because you'll read and comment anyways, but at least I tried.
Dear characters of twilight,
Bella, please get a life. When peoples' pag-ibig leave them, they try to stay strong and keep fighting for what is worth it like Hermione did. They do not curl up in the fetal position and go numb for weeks like you did.
Edward, you think you're hot when you sparkle? Well you're not. And your taste in women is reckless. Who falls in pag-ibig with someone who can barley put two words together? Plus, who the hell is so dumb to change from a really cool character (Cedric) to such a loser (Edward)?
Jacob, it was so so SO dumb of you to fall in pag-ibig with someone who is five minutos old. And your choice of women is reckless as well because you fell in pag-ibig with the same chick the other jerk, what's his name again? Oh yeah, Edward.
Carlisle, you call yourself and your clan vampires? You guys don't even come close to mosquitoes who drink only a drop of human blood. Yeah, that's so smart of you not drinking human blood. If a vampire drinks he drinks human blood, THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE FREAKING KNOWN FOR!!
Esme, You barley even talk in the whole series!! I thought the mom is suppose to be a big part of all this. I think you should pay madami attention to Molly Weasley to know what a real mom is.
James, Please stop trying to talk posher than reyna Elizabeth. No one talks like that and it's not cool at all. And you're seriously comparing yourself to Voldemort? Seriously? Oh God if he heard this he would be so embarrassed.... oh wait... villains don't get embarrassed unlike somebody here.
Victoria, you think you're so cool an badass huh? Well lets call Bellatrix and see how badass you'll be then! Yeah I'll bet she'll be having your asno on apoy in a matter of seconds!
Renesmee, you do not believe how sorry I feel for you. First, you have an incredibly dumb sparkling mom, a huge show-off sparkling dad, and a psycho werewolf boyfriend that is older than you in like what? 18 years? Second, your dumb mom gave you an even dumber name. Renesmee Carlie Cullen. What a shame.... I feel really sorry for you kid.
Rosalie, you're just as much as a ipakita off as Edward. You think you're so pretty and all? Well you know what I think? I think Lord Voldemort is prettier than you! And he's bald and doesn't have a nose! The only thing I ever liked you for is that you used to hate Bella. But yet again, you USED to hate Bella, you don't anymore so I don't like you at all.
Jasper, Good Job imitating Harry on the messy hair, too bad it didn't work. And good for you Harry never saw it, he would pass out. Though if you ate Bella in New Moon he would actually like you, but you didn't so HA!
Emmett, What can I say here? Your whole Teddy madala reputation is getting boring. So don't even try, no one will ever be as big, awesome and cuddly as Hagrid.
Alice, I think you have to take lessons from Trelawney to learn how to see the future, at least she can predict exactly what would happen and not just possibilities. And stop trying to get popular and cool sa pamamagitan ng organizing parties and all, because that's realy getting stupid.
Aro, if you're an evil vampire, no if you're even a vampire I'm Ron's Quidditch hat!! Nuf said
Jane, if you think you're cool you're wrong. I can call Fred and George and make you guys compete. And don't even try to use your powers because they're not dumb not to put some spell that blocks that.
Regards, a Harry Potter fan
If you have any madami additions, feel free to tell me in the comments and I'll add them to the letter.
Dear characters of twilight,
Bella, please get a life. When peoples' pag-ibig leave them, they try to stay strong and keep fighting for what is worth it like Hermione did. They do not curl up in the fetal position and go numb for weeks like you did.
Edward, you think you're hot when you sparkle? Well you're not. And your taste in women is reckless. Who falls in pag-ibig with someone who can barley put two words together? Plus, who the hell is so dumb to change from a really cool character (Cedric) to such a loser (Edward)?
Jacob, it was so so SO dumb of you to fall in pag-ibig with someone who is five minutos old. And your choice of women is reckless as well because you fell in pag-ibig with the same chick the other jerk, what's his name again? Oh yeah, Edward.
Carlisle, you call yourself and your clan vampires? You guys don't even come close to mosquitoes who drink only a drop of human blood. Yeah, that's so smart of you not drinking human blood. If a vampire drinks he drinks human blood, THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE FREAKING KNOWN FOR!!
Esme, You barley even talk in the whole series!! I thought the mom is suppose to be a big part of all this. I think you should pay madami attention to Molly Weasley to know what a real mom is.
James, Please stop trying to talk posher than reyna Elizabeth. No one talks like that and it's not cool at all. And you're seriously comparing yourself to Voldemort? Seriously? Oh God if he heard this he would be so embarrassed.... oh wait... villains don't get embarrassed unlike somebody here.
Victoria, you think you're so cool an badass huh? Well lets call Bellatrix and see how badass you'll be then! Yeah I'll bet she'll be having your asno on apoy in a matter of seconds!
Renesmee, you do not believe how sorry I feel for you. First, you have an incredibly dumb sparkling mom, a huge show-off sparkling dad, and a psycho werewolf boyfriend that is older than you in like what? 18 years? Second, your dumb mom gave you an even dumber name. Renesmee Carlie Cullen. What a shame.... I feel really sorry for you kid.
Rosalie, you're just as much as a ipakita off as Edward. You think you're so pretty and all? Well you know what I think? I think Lord Voldemort is prettier than you! And he's bald and doesn't have a nose! The only thing I ever liked you for is that you used to hate Bella. But yet again, you USED to hate Bella, you don't anymore so I don't like you at all.
Jasper, Good Job imitating Harry on the messy hair, too bad it didn't work. And good for you Harry never saw it, he would pass out. Though if you ate Bella in New Moon he would actually like you, but you didn't so HA!
Emmett, What can I say here? Your whole Teddy madala reputation is getting boring. So don't even try, no one will ever be as big, awesome and cuddly as Hagrid.
Alice, I think you have to take lessons from Trelawney to learn how to see the future, at least she can predict exactly what would happen and not just possibilities. And stop trying to get popular and cool sa pamamagitan ng organizing parties and all, because that's realy getting stupid.
Aro, if you're an evil vampire, no if you're even a vampire I'm Ron's Quidditch hat!! Nuf said
Jane, if you think you're cool you're wrong. I can call Fred and George and make you guys compete. And don't even try to use your powers because they're not dumb not to put some spell that blocks that.
Regards, a Harry Potter fan
If you have any madami additions, feel free to tell me in the comments and I'll add them to the letter.
