The Story of Corporal Agarn

Theme song

Though he goes on a rage from time to time
He is a very good friend of mine
And in Fort Courage he is well known as
Corporal Agarn

Starring Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Saten Twist as Sargent O' Rourke
Mortomis as Dobbs, the bugler
Snow Wonder as Wrangler Jane
Cosmic bahaghari as Corporal Vanderbilt
Blaze as Corporal Duffy
Sean as Chief Wild Eagle
and Sonic as Crazy Cat

Previously, everyone in F Troop was alerted of the arrival of a colonel. The soldiers want to please the colonel, but things aren't going well.

Corporal Agarn, and Sargent O' Rourke rode humans to the Hikawi Camp.

Chief Wild Eagle: What can I do for you?
Sargent O' Rourke: We want to pretend we're buying land from your tribe in order to impress this colonel visiting us.
Chief Wild Eagle: I need extra money, so why don't we make it real?
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: But Chief, you don't gain any money when giving your land away to us.
Chief Wild Eagle: I need extra money, but I will make price fair. I pay you $24, and a bottle of booze.
Sargent O' Rourke: Now wait a minuto Chief, you're out of line.
Chief Wild Eagle: Seems fair to me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Chief Wild Eagle: You ponies buy entire island of Manehattan for same price.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: Oh it was a lousy deal Chief. In a hundred years or so, it won't be worth a nickel.
Audience: *Laughing*
Chief Wild Eagle: No, ponies are very smart about real estate. Remember when you first come here? *Leans down to pick up a stick, and slowly waves it through the air* This once Hikawi Territory, then you barge in, and make us divide our land. *Hits himself in the head with the stick, and breaks it in half*
Audience: *Laughing*

While Agarn, and the sarge were gone, Captain Parmenter had his troops lined up.

Captain Parmenter: Where is Agarn, and O' Rourke?
Corporal Duffy: Maybe they went to bring me the Alamo!
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Dobbs: There's no way two ponies could lift that up sa pamamagitan ng their selves.
Corporal Duffy: Why not? I could.
Audience: *Laughing*
Colonel Yorning: *Arrives* Attention, I am the parang buriko inspecting your fort. I am Colonel Yorning.
Captain Parmenter: Good morning Yorning.
Audience: *Laughing*
Colonel Yorning: *Counting soldiers* You sinabi that you had twelve soldiers here, correct?
Captain Parmenter: Yes, why?
Colonel Yorning: I see that two of your soldiers are missing.
Captain Parmenter: Oh, Sargent O' Rourke, and Corporal Agarn are missing.
Colonel Yorning: Why are they missing?
Captain Parmenter: They went to buy madami land for our fort from a group of Indians.

Just then, the two soldiers returned.

Captain Parmenter: Sargent, how did it go?
Sargent O' Rourke: Not good Captain. They didn't give us any land.
Colonel Yorning: Ha!
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: But they did give us twelve bottles of scotch.
Audience: *Laughing*
Colonel Yorning: Well, that's even better. I'll take eight of your bottles, and put in a good ulat for Fort Courage.
Captain Parmenter: Deal.
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from time to time, he is a very good friend of mine. And in Fort Courage he is well known as, Corporal Agarn.
Dobbs: *Playing the trumpeta poorly*
Corporal Agarn: I'm warning you Dobbs!
Audience: *Laughing*

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