If you can tell a joke that makes me laugh, I'll give you a prop!

How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator?
Open the door, put the giraffe in, close the door.

How do you put an elepante in the refrigerator?
Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elepante in, close the door.

All the mga hayop of the world went to a convention except one. Which one?
The elephant. He's still in the refrigerator.

You come to a river known to be full of man-eating alligators. There's no bangka or bridge. How do you tumawid (and you HAVE to cross)?
Swim. All the alligators are at the animal convention.

*One of my dad's co-workers' daughters came up with this one.

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One araw the teacher called on her while she was napping, 'Tell me, Mary, who created the universe? ' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated ...in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. 'God Almighty! ' shouted Mary. The teacher said, 'Very good! ' and Mary fell back to sleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, 'Who is our Lord and Savior? ', but Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'Jesus Christ! ' shouted Mary. The teacher said, 'Very good! ' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, 'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child? ' Again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, 'If you stick that damn thing in me one madami time, I'll break it in half! ' The Teacher fainted.'

Dunno if it's that funny but oh well:

"The TV remote is always in the last place you look" O_o well yes... i wouldn't look for it,find it, then keep on looking would I?!

(well i tried lol ):P

how bou a funny pic made it my self

Why does a ardilya swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.

-Nock nock.
-Who's there?
-You know.
-You know who?
-YES! Avada Kedavra!

*Harry Potter fanatic LOL*
Nah, this is the only joke I can remember, so... yeah.

This is a story of four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anbody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and everybody was sure somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry with that because it was Everybodys job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realised that Everybody wouldnt do it. It ended that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anbody could have done.



maybe it's not a joke, but it def. gives u a headache :P :D

My clubcard brings all the mums to the yard and I'm like wanna swipe my card, I could teach you, but I'd have to charge.

la la la la la... Tesco is waiting la la la la la.

Just a note to the people above who have answered: If you were half as funny as you thought you were, you'd be twice as funny as you are. Just kidding those jokes are really funny! XD

Anyhoo back to the task at hand.
What did the big weavel say to the little weavel?
You're the lesser of two weavels! XD

HMMM....IONT KNOW.BUT MY BIG BRO ALWAYS ASKS ME 2 SCRATCH HIS BUTT AND NUTS WITH THE FORK IM EATING WITH!!! :/ GROSS ASS.

how the word literally is used

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
He wanted to find pooh!

Nope? Not funny? Okay...

Why did the green kamatis turn red?
Because he saw the salad dressing!