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what do you think of this poem?

this is my first but just tell like it is. if you hate it just tell me.


every time i look at you i makes me want too cry.

every time i look at you it makes me want too scream.

every time i look at you it makes me want too die.

every time i look at you it makes me think of you and her lastnight.


so what do you think should i wright more?
 lilred96 posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
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dustfinger said:
this is not a poem. its a song. make it a song. i like it so far.
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posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas 
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ok thanks for answering ;)
lilred96 posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
Mela1994 said:
i like it, u should write more!!! :D

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posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas 
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do you think people would read it?
lilred96 posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
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i would read it so yeah i think people would read it :)
Mela1994 posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
sweet_n_silly said:
like dustfinger I think it would be a good song. It's pretty darn good too. there's some spelling issues though. you definately should write more.
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posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas 
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if u do decide to make it into a song, I could maybe write the music if u want
sweet_n_silly posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
peterslover said:
Awesome☺ Like they said, make it into a song☺
susunod line could be:
every time I look at you I want to say goodbye
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posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas 
TwilightSagaLdy said:
yeah its madami of a song and its pretty good!!! and i think you should finish Pagsulat it! i like it!!! =)
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posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas 
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