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Hey! I wrote a beginning of a song.. I didn't like it that much.. so do u think I should continue it?

it's about a break up

(More Than This)
After all that we've been through
Don't you let go on me now
I don't want any madami tears
Don't you bring me down


Chorus:
I swear I'd give you madami that this
If you can stay like this
I swear I'd pag-ibig you madami than this
Anything you wish
If I knew that you'd let go, oh
 smsooom posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
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XxKeithHarkinxX said:
It's shitty. and kinda of,bland.

It's really flat,it needs depth to it.

It honestly up to you.
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posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas 
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Exactly
smsooom posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
brandonaz said:
nahhh it's too boring and unoriginal tbh but if you want to be a pop bituin it's no worse than everything else on the radio
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posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas 
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That's what I thought of :/
smsooom posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
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So scrap it.
brandonaz posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
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ok :)
smsooom posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
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@brandon, that's what I thought XD
XxKeithHarkinxX posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
Solas said:
I don't want to sound mean, but I think there are too many platitudes - stringing cliches together isn't good song writing.

Something else I'm wondering is: why did you choose to write about a break up?

I've never written a song before, but if I were to give you some payo then it would be to come up with an original subject. Everybody writes about break ups - be unique! I'm sure you've had plenty of meaningful life experiences that are far madami interesting. :)

Hope this helps a little.
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posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas 
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It did :) Thnx .. :D and I don't know actually why I chose this :P
smsooom posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
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I didn't think so. That's probably what the problem was. Not to sound cheesy, but you'll probably find it easier to write about something you really believe in. Good luck with your song! :)
Solas posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
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