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I'm Pagsulat a Novel and I Want to Know if its Written Well or Do I Need Changes?

Darkwing: The Tale of a Bat and the Destiny

Chapter 1

The moonlight shone throughout the forest, catching a glimpse of the trees and their shadows. The bats flew around the night sky catching prey and whatnot. A little bat sat on the branch watching all of the other bats; his tiny tuffs of hair covering his right eye and his balahibo flowing with the gentle breeze. A beautiful, slightly large bat bigger than all the others, flew over to the little bat and she spoke in a gentle tone.

“Darkwing”

“Yes mother?”

“Hello my son, do you see all of these bats before you flying and out on their hunt?”

“Why yes I do”

“You will one araw fly among them, spreading those beautiful wings of yours. Putting fear into enemies’ eyes as they take a look at you. They’ll cower into hiding….you will make us proud, all of us” She took a gentle glimpse of her little son who looked at her with his gorgeous red eyes.

“I understand, I hope that one araw I will fly among the other bats and go on hunts” He squeaked happily, his mother had chuckled a bit before wrapping her large wings around him, he too wrapping his wings around his mother.

“I pag-ibig you, my son”

“I pag-ibig you too mother, will you always be with me?”

“No my dear, there will be one araw that I will have to pass and go up to heaven but that is far from now sweetheart, for as long as you grow, I’ll be here sa pamamagitan ng your side” She kissed the tuktok of his head lightly, then looking into his eyes.

“Did you finish your dinner?”

“I have mother”

“Have you cleaned yourself?”

“I have mother”

“That’s my good boy” She nuzzled him before leaving the branch on which he sat. She joined the group of bats as Darkwing watched her go. He heard something in the distance as his ears perked up, he curiously crawled over the branch
*
I posted the WHOLE first chapter buut it came out as half >_< Oh well =P
16falloutboy posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
 16falloutboy posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
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walang tiyak na layunin Sagot

misscrazel said:
Yea I like it.
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posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas 
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:))
16falloutboy posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
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It's better than some published books.
misscrazel posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
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Cool!
misscrazel posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
Seastar4374 said:
I like it so far, its good c:
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Thanks Rochelle :))
16falloutboy posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
Sylvia_Puffin said:
Well done, fellow writer.

I can tell you that you do need a little work, but hey, everyone does. You are clearly as writer, and I think you could definitely get published. I would recommend a little rewriting; you pick things up in the Pagsulat process and usually need to go back and revise. But it's really good. :D
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posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas 
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Thank you very much ^.^ I'm glad how the story came out :)) I'll revise and rewrite the story as you recommend :) I recently started getting into Pagsulat and I enjoy it dearly :3
16falloutboy posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
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That's cool. I can tell you that you're a much better writer than I was when I started.
Sylvia_Puffin posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
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Yeah it is. Well practice makes perfect ^.^ Everyone gets better as they learn. I like to read stories other people wrote to learn how to build up sentences and the right wording. Sometimes its hard for me to come up with like titles and great main ideas.
16falloutboy posted sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
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