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posted by x-menobsessed26
Application For Permission To petsa My Daughter
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied sa pamamagitan ng a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical ulat from your physician.


Name:
petsa of Birth:
Height:
Weight:
IQ:
GPA:
Social Security Number:
Driver's License Number:
Boy Scout Rank:
Telephone:
tahanan Address:
City:
State:
Zip:



Do you have one male and one female parent? ____
If "No", explain:



Number of years your parents have been married: ____
Any brothers or sisters? ____
Are they normal? ____


Do you own or have access to a van? ____
A truck with oversize tires? ____
A waterbed? ____


Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? ____


Do you have a tattoo? ____

If you have answered YES to #3, #4 or #5, discontinue application and leave immediately.


In fifty words or less, what does Late mean to you?





In fifty words or less, what does Don't touch my daughter mean to you?





In fifty words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you?





In fifty words or less, what does Real Pain mean to you?





Church/Temple you attend: ____________________________

How often do you attend: ____________________________


When would be the best time to interview your mother, father and priest/rabbi? ____________________________



Please fill in the blanks:


If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my ____________________________


If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my ____________________________


A woman's place is in the ____________________________


The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is ____________________________


When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her first is ____________________________

Note: If answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and leave premises - keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised





What do you want to be if you grow up?





I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture or mental abuse.
Signature of applicant _________________________________

Signature of father _____________________________________

Signature of mother ____________________________________

Signature of priest/rabbi ___________________________________

Signature of State Representative _________________________



Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in Pagsulat if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't call me, I'll call you.
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.

The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking: “What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?”

Tom says: “I would switch one train to another track.”

“What if the lever broke?” asks the inspector.

“Then I’d run down to the tracks and use the manual lever down there”, sagot Tom.

“What if that had been struck sa pamamagitan ng lightning?” challenges the inspector.

“Then,” Tom continued, “I’d run back up here...
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