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1. When a twilight tagahanga says 'twilight rocks' say 'rocks made of twilight?'
2. Go up to a twilight fan, scream 'Bella! Bella! BELLA!!!! YOU'RE AWESOME!!!!' when they say 'I know right!' say 'Oh no I meant Bellatrix'
3. Ask them all tanong about twilight that you can think of. When they ask why say 'I'm doing a book ulat on the most boring books of the world'
4. Get all the boys and twilight haters (better for them to be Harry Potter fans) to start saying 'Edward, Edwardo, Eddibear, sparkle sparkle'
5. Say that you hate Stephanie Meyer, she's a horrible may-akda and her books make want to poke your eyes out with a pencil. Then say that pagbaba JK Rowling's books are like pagbaba books sent from heaven.
6. Tell them that people like Dracula and Voldemort are way madami famous and that they can kick Edward's ass!
7. If they tell you that Twilight are the bestselling and most popular books ever, go on Wikipedia with them, paghahanap bestselling books, scroll down and ipakita them that twilight is not there. Then go to best selling book series, scroll down, down, down, down past Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia, Lord of the Rings, Nancy Drew, Captain salawal etc. when you finally see twilight say 'Oh look there's twilight right there. Almost at the bottom.'
8. Tell them you went online and gave the new twilight movie one star, when they ask why say 'because Robert Pattinson was totally wearing lipstick!'
9. Remind them Edward Cullen/Jacob Black isn't real.
10. Tell a tagahanga that you'll send her a T-Shirt with Edward Cullen on both sides. After the two days go by, don't send her anything. When she comes up and asks you why, tell her because you wanted to give someone that handsome to her in person. When she gets excited, give her a T-Shirt with Hagrid on it.
11. Tell them 'real men don't sparkle' when they ask 'who sinabi that real men don't sparkle?' say 'Have you got ear problems? I sinabi Only gay men sparkle. Jeez.'
12. When they try to force you into watching twilight, try to force them into watching Harry Potter. If they say 'But I hate it!' say 'Well I hate twilight!' and when they say 'just watch it and you'll like it!' say 'No, you watch Harry Potter and you'll like it!' etc.
13. Wen they tell you they dreamed about Edward Cullen say 'oh my goodness what a nightmare!'
14. When they say the dreamed about Edward Cullen say 'well I dreamed about Voldemort, they're equally hot right?'
15. If you catch them pagbaba twilight, snatch the book, throw it in a trash can, say 'oh man I dropped it'
16. If you catch them watching a twilight movie, wait for the part that Edward or Jacob (depending on who the tagahanga likes more) take his sando off, when this part comes jump in front of the screen and scream 'FRED AND GEORGE ARE HOTTER! FRED AND GEORGE ARE HOTTER!' when the part ends walk away from the screen saying 'oh never mind'
17. When they ask 'why do you hate twilight so much?' say 'I don't hate it, I actually pag-ibig it' when they say 'really?' say 'Yeah it's my paborito part of the day. You know after the sun sits and the sky is like all purplish and all.'
18. If you find a twilight book in their bag, take it and replace it with a Harry Potter one.
19. Tell them that Edward is a "hand-me-down" because twilight got him after Harry Potter was finished with him.
20. Say that Stephenie Meyer totally estola the names Bella, Alice, James, Black and Clearwater from JK Rowling
21. listahan every power that a wizard can have and use all at once (seeing the future, pagbaba minds, etc.), that a vampire would only have one of.
22. Whenever they mention Jacob Black, innocently ask if they meant Wormtail.
23. Say that Bella sisne and Argus Filch would make such a romantic couple.
24. Flinch whenever they say Edward and tell them to say You-Know-Who
25. Explain how Twilight mga asong lobo are really Animagi, and ask whether they're registered with the Ministry of Magic.
26. Tell them they're so crazy they have to go to St. Mungo's
27. Always remind them of the Dumbledore quote 'It does no good dwell in dreams' then remind them that the idea of twilight came to Stephenie Meyer in a dream.
28. Compare Edward Cullen to Mad Eye Moody. Compare silly stuff like their hair, skin color etc. that of course are going to be similar. Then say 'how could you fall for someone who looks totally like Moody?'
29. When they remember Edward say 'Edward who?' when they say 'Edward Cullen' say 'Edward Swollen?'
30. If they say Harry Potter wears weird glasses, say 'Well at least he WEARS glasses. He doesn't sparkle like glasses. Unlike Edward Cullen over here!'
31. When they say Bella is was so brave, remind them what she did when Edward left her, then what Hermione did when Ron chose another one, then what Ginny did when Harry Left her. Compare them and then say 'Now you tell me, which one would you choose to do?'
32. Whenever they mention anything/anyone related to twilight say 'STOP BLOWING UP MY EARS!'
33. When they say they dreamed that Edward/Jacob kissed them, say 'A dementor kissed you?'
34. When they beg you enough to read twilight, say okay. Open it,start pagbaba aloud, at the end of every sentence, make fun of the sentence you read.
35. Ask them 'how come Edward Cullen is a vegetarian? I thought Bampira can't eat vegetables or fruits.'
36. Grab an empty notebook and a pencil, sit susunod to them, write Stephenie Meyer a very long hate letter, and mutter what you're Pagsulat out loud.
37. When they call on the phone and start talking about how hot is Robert Pattinson playing Edward Cullen, interrupt them and say 'Hey I just saw Daniel Radcliffe walking on my street! I'll go say hi and remind him of the stupid choice Robert made' then hang up in their face.
38. Tell them ' I heard there will be another book' when they get all excited, tell them 'You do know I mean another Harry Potter book right?'
39. Tell them Harry Potter is better than twilight, when they start to argue keep muttering 'Harry Potter Harry Potter Harry Potter. Twilight sucks Twilight sucks Twilight sucks' like crazy.
40. Tell them that you think Voldemort is prettier than Rosalie.
41. Tell them that Bampira and mga asong lobo don't exist, when they say 'Wizards don't exist either' say 'Oh yes we do!' then take a stick, point it at them and shout 'Avada Kadavra!' When it doesn't work keep on poking the stick and shouting the same words. Extra points if you poke them at least five times.
42. Tell them that JK Rowling got her book published with only one chapter while Stephenie Meyer got twilight barley published with the whole novel.
43. Tell them Hermione plays piano way better than Edward.
44. Tell them the Volturi are too stupid to walk all the way from Italy to Forks and not fly.
45. Tell them if you meet Bella you'll slap her in the face.
46. When they start talking about twilight pretend to be staring into space. After a few hours of their talking, when they finally finished say 'huh? what? Sorry I didn't hear you. I was thinking about Harry Potter'
47. When they tell you to get a life, say 'why? Edward doesn't have one'
48. When they say they pag-ibig Edward ask why, when they tell you the reason, ask why once again. Keep on asking why after everything they say.
49. Go to her room with your friends, remove all the twilight posters, pillows, kama covers etc. burn them, replace them with Harry Potter ones. Extra points of you do not get caught and she never finds out it was you who did it.
50. Buy a twilight pencil, when she says she wants it. Tell her 'okay, let me just sharpen it for you.' sharpen it until it's all gone, then say 'aw man!I'm sorry there's nothing left of it.' Extra points if she searches the trash can like crazy looking for the pencil cores.
posted by ShiningsTar542
The story we have for you today is one of love, friendship, and how to co-exist.

Salati is a leopard that was adopted sa pamamagitan ng the Brooker family in South Africa. The family helps to rehabilitate mga hayop that are injured. Salati came to the Brooker family when it was just a cub, and instantly became mga kaibigan with Tommy, a golden retriever. Tommy was also a tuta at the time.

You would think that a friendship between this unlikely pair would be impossible. But no. The two mga hayop connected from the first moment. Now the two mga hayop are fully grown and they are still friends. They spend time together running, playing, sleeping, whatever!

They have left behind the stereotype of cat and dog and found friendship instead.
If you’re an animal lover, like me, this story might be to much to take. But I can’t believe people can be so cruel. But I believe that when someone abuses a poor defenseless animal, that someone should be ibingiay LIFE in prison without the possibility or parole.

A Mesa, Arizona man who killed a 6-week-old kitten after a pet sawa refused to eat it was ibingiay three years of supervised probation on Friday.

Jeremy Tuffly, 29, pleaded guilty May 11 in Maricopa County Superior Court to one count of cruelty to animals, a Class 6 felony, court records show.

The charge followed after Maricopa County Sheriff's Office deputies learned of a DVD ipinapakita Tuffly repeatedly throwing the kitten at the sawa in 2002 in an attempt to get the snake to attack it, according to MCSO.

When the sawa failed to eat the kitten, Tuffly kicked it across the yard, authorities previously said. The kitten then died.
The Earth has a diameter of about 12700 kilometers (7900 miles).
The sun has a diameter of about 1.39 million kilometers (865000 miles).
Its diameter is about 109 times the diameter of earth.

The formula for volume of a sphere is V=(4/3) πr3
The approximate volume of the Sun is then 1.3 x 106 times the approximate volume of the Earth.

It would take approximately 1.3 million Earth-sized objects to fill the volume of the Sun.

(*More precise measurements would have to define the surface, i.e. include or exclude the outer layers of the Sun. The Sun is not perfectly spherical and has no "solid" surface.)
posted by justinbieberfw
1.) start looking at the stuff they have in the kariton saying things like "eww who likes this" "thats a fashion nightmere" ect.

2.) ask walang tiyak na layunin ppl if there bob. if they say yes, then say y r u sayin yes. "y r u talkin 2 me". and start cryin

3.) start pag-awit Barney songs as loud as u can

4.) go up to walang tiyak na layunin ppl and say "tag, ur it"

5.) start giving ppl fashion tips. "o that sando is so last fall" " those pants? big no no" " o and dont even getme started on those shoes"

6.) go up 2 sum1, talk till they talk. then say " srry im not spose 2 talk 2 starngers"

7.) hit pplwith meat and say "glad to meat ya

8.) go up 2 a women and pat there belly sayin "wen r u due"

9.) go up 2 men and pat there belly sayin "wen r u due"

10.) start pokein a person, wen they look act like u r payin attention to sumthing else. then keep poken and doin the same thing
These are all true, I saw them with my own eyes. They really happened!

1. Texting with BOTH hands (did the forget they were in a car?)
2. A woman putting on make-up while driving on the freeway during rush hour! (WHY? Could it not wait? Was how you looked madami important than DRIVING?)
3. A man unwrapping and eating a full, everything on it, sandwhich while driving. (I guess he was hungry?)

If you think these are bizzare, it gets better.

4. Someone pagbaba the newspaper. (I guess he missed the big game?)
5. The dog was on the steering wheel. (No comment.)
6. A woman with her designer shades, bangles...
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posted by MileySelena982
1. We only cry infront of you when we
a) want you to comfort us, or
b) can't help it

2. We only wear mini palda when we are single,
not because we do it for you. But not all of us.

3. When we talk about how "hot" guys are, we don't mean it.
Personality is all we care about. But a hot guy's a plus

4. If you ask us what's wrong and we don't reply... DON'T
ASK AGAIN. We don't or feel like you should know, so
forget about it.

5. When we say we're mad, upset, or angery, belive us.
Because we MEAN it.

6. Do not, I repeat. Do not EVER make our FATHERS
MAD. Just don't go there, okay?

7. If you think we like to hang out with you every
waking minute, think twice.

8. Have you ever thought that we only do the things
we do for you?

9. When you ask us out, and we say yes, our first date
better be AWESOME. If not, read number 6 again. <3

10. When we say we pag-ibig you... you better believe it.
Just randomly found this:

1. Throw papkorn in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!”
2. Go, “Oooooh…” whenever anyone kisses.
3. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
4. During the previews, yell, “Can you fast-forward it?”
5. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, “Watch out!”
6. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
7. Tell the man selling papkorn that the bathroom is flooding.
8. Yell out what is going to happen.
9. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get papkorn yell, “I’m Batman! Hahaha!” and run away.
10. Say that they cannot sit susunod to you because you invisible...
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Many legends have been told of frightening black Aso that hunt deserted roads, gloomy castles, even town houses. But the black dog of Hanging Hills is gentle and friendly, a splendid companion with whom to spend an afternoon-and is deadlier than all the rest. If you ever meet him, you'll know him sa pamamagitan ng two peculiar features: One, he leaves no footprints. Two, he seems to bark occasionally, but never makes a sound. When you see him the first time, he brings you joy. He follows you wherever you go, wags his tail, waits for you if you stop along the way. The segundo time you meet him is a time of...
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Mother kept girls locked away from the world for seven years
Three girls who were imprisoned sa pamamagitan ng their mother in a house of indescribable filth for seven years may never recover from the ordeal, experts have said.

The girls were shut away from the outside world, existing in almost complete darkness, playing only with mice and communicating in their own language.

When they were discovered, their tahanan in a smart, upper middle-class suburb had no running water and was filled with waste and excrement a metre high. The floor was corroded sa pamamagitan ng mice urine.

The case has stunned Austria, still reeling from...
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posted by simpleplan
really don't hate you, I'm just severely allergic to stupidity

I'm not having a battle of wits with you, I refuse to fight a unarmed opponent

Who ever says "words can't hurt you" has never been hit in the face with a dictionary

People say money can't buy happiness. They LIE. Money can buy a jet-ski. You ever see anyone unhappy on a jet-ski? Well?

Wants to know...If mga baril kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?

Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids

Everyone's entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the privilege

Why yes, I do frequently burst out in...
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 taon Of The Dragon: 1904 * 1916 * 1928 * 1940 * 1952 * 1964 * 1976 * 1988 * 2000
Year Of The Dragon: 1904 * 1916 * 1928 * 1940 * 1952 * 1964 * 1976 * 1988 * 2000
taon of the Rat-(1912, 1924, 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996)
Occupying the 1st and most prominent position on the Chinese Zodiac, the daga symbolizes such character traits as wit, imagination and curiosity. Rats have keen observation skills and with those skills they’re able to deduce much about other people and other situations. Overall, Rats are full of energy, talkative and charming but they have a tendency to become aggressive.
Rats are full of good payo but they will never share their troubles with others. They are honest individuals and they enjoy living for the moment. They’re...
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How many times do you get passed sa pamamagitan ng and ignored in the halls at school? Wouldn't your morning be so much brighter if people actually acknowledged your existence? Of course it would. But since people are fickle, you must force them. Here's how to provoke a friendly greeting, or at least make someone else feel happier as s/he comes glowering into the building.

Who knows? Your target might even pass along the gesture to someone else, who will pass it along to someone else, and that someone else will then... (you get the point; joy is contagious). Just think how many days could be brightened by...
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posted by blaise_jez
Q .. Did you here about the blonde who shot an palaso into the air?
A .. She missed.

Q .. What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A .. Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q .. Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A .. From crawling across the kalye when the sign sinabi "don't walk".

Q .. Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A .. So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q .. Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A .. She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q .. How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A .. The cow fell on her.

Q .. What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A .. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
posted by heavenly13
yea...it sounds beter with the rythem and all that( ive recorded it with drums, piano , gutair...ext) and the forms probily bad.,,,,....but plzz read it and comment!!!!and be honest

WHo's dating who

walkin' down the hallway talking with my fiends
the gossip never ends
who like's who
who hate's you
who has the cutest new shoes

then i turn around and see you
and relize

Chourus: All i want is you...I dont wanna be cool. Who cares about all of this. lets get together and froget who's "in" and whos "out" , you know what its all about. I dont care about who's dating who...unless its me and you......
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Q .. Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A .. To see what was on the other side.

Q .. Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A .. Because on the box it sinabi From 2-4 years.

Q .. Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A .. She wanted to know how to cook pagkain stamps!

A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One araw the husband comes tahanan from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and...
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Men Need To Understand These Things About Women.
i found it like 2minutes nakaraan "HOPE U'LL LIKE IT":

1. Don't ever lie to us; we always find out. (CARDINAL RULE).
2. Don't say you understand when you don't.
3. Girls are petty; get over it. We like to start fights.
4. You don't have PMS, so don't act like you know what it's like. Don't try to understand...believe me you never will.
5. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.
6. We don't like it when you act like Mr. Big.
7. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.
8. It's good...
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posted by 1122ridr
 Em I going mad?
Em I going mad?
I know I am. I just know it. My room is covered with ibong dagat stuff, I have a really big Mad Hatter hat,And I...I hate to admit it, but, I think I'm attracted to the March Hare. I must be going insane. The only book that I read is Alice in Wonderland and the only movie I watch is A Nightmare on Elm street. Tell me that I'm not going mad! I only drink tee, is that crazy or what? Do you think I'm going insane? I bet that you do, don't you? Tell me, "Why is a raven like a righting desk?" Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
posted by Shelly_McShelly
•    You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time.

•    You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

•    The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

•    The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly

•    If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

•    If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.


•    When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back.

•    When the women...
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This is sa pamamagitan ng far the weirdest lists I have ever seen, but funny nonetheless...


Here are some of the classic tanong being asked of the Sydney Olympic
Committee via their Web site, and some sagot that may be appropriate:

Q: I hear that all Australian women are beautiful. Is that true an if so,
can you send me pictures of the available ones? (Italy)
A: (Sure, there's only 8 million of them)

Q: I want to go swimming at Bondi tabing-dagat on October 20th. Will I turn blue?
A: (More likely brown, considering the effluent...)

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos...
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