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posted by McDreamyluva
Here's the famous 'Best Divorce Letter' sa pamamagitan ng Dan to Connie, pretty hilarious, definitely a must read! xD



Dear Connie,

I know the counselor sinabi we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore.

The araw you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again but that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first on to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first ilipat as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt.

This is what my puso says "There's no one like you, Connie. I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close."

Two weeks nakaraan I met this girl at Flamingoes and brought her tahanan with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, maybe 19 with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. F***ing like you wouldn't believe and asno that just wouldn't quite. Every man's dream, right?

As I sat on the sopa being blown sa pamamagitan ng this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better puso than my modestly attractive Connie? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little.

Later, after I'd tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her suttee shameless hunger; but something also, some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Connie, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.

Do you remember Carol that singe mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year? Well, she dropped sa pamamagitan ng last week with a pan of lasagna. She sinabi she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later; but that's no the real story. Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the susunod thing you know we're banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you know, like a real woman does when she's not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can here us. And all of the sudden, she sports that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves and it's totally hot, but it makes e sad too because I can't help thinking "Why didn't Connie ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years and we never used it as a sex toy."

Saturday your sister drops sa pamamagitan ng with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vickie’s just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she’s been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's ibingiay me lots of good payo about you and about women in general. She's pulling for us to get back together. Connie, she really is.

So we're doing Jell-O shots in a hot bath and taking about happier times. Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looks like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole oral thing, and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring all I can do is think of you? It's true Connie. In your puso you must know it. Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can. If you feel the same please please please, let me know.

Otherwise, can you let me know where the f***ing remote is?

pag-ibig Dan





link the link to the actual letter.
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Source: tumblr.com
added by Tay_27
posted by KatiiCullen94
1. when i sneeze i sneeze again like straight after the first one, i cant just sneeze once!!

2. i don't tan. i burned, peel and then white again!

3. when i use new soap, my hands itch.

4. i like to read out load. pagbaba in my head is a little unfocused for me.

5. i get zits on my arms!!! eww!

6. i have two freckles on my thighs that look my bites, (im a fangerbanger!! shh)

7. i really really really hate crocs (the shoes!)

8. i will scream down a building if i see toads! i am petrified!!

9. i constantly talk to myself, and i mean it!! ALLLLLLLLLLLL THE TIME!!!

10. I make funny noise when i drink, i cant help it!
Well, I opened up my mailbox the other araw and pulled out a letter adressed to me from some...person named "Kether Smith". And first thing I thought was "Kether.... that's a weird name!" but I opened up the letter anyway hoping that this "Kether" was a secret admierer or something sending me some money, but insted, the letter sinabi (word for word! I'm typing this strait out of the letter!)

Dahlia,
    I know that you’ll want to come looking for me, but don’t. I’m not worth it. You remember that kuwintas I gave you? That holds some of my power within it, so it’s okay...
continue reading...
1.They always smell good even if it's just shampoo

2.The way their heads always find the right spot on your shoulder

3.The ease with which they fit into your arms

4.The way they halik you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world

5.How cute they are when they eat

6.The way they take hours to dress‚ but in the end it's all worthwhile

7.Because they're always warm‚ even when it's negative thirty degrees outside

8.The way they look good no matter what they wear

9.The way they isda for compliments

10.How cute they are when they argue

11.The way their hands always find yours

12.The way they smile...
continue reading...
 Bob!
Bob!
Here are some things to do with the dummy Bob,

1. Practice karate on Bob
2. Dress Bob up
3. Use Bob as a boat
4. Use Bob to help you make a fort
5. Use Bob as a tree
6. Use Bob to lighten your stress sa pamamagitan ng punching and kicking him
7. Use Bob as a way to practice how to fall in slow motion
8. Use Bob to take your anger out sa pamamagitan ng punching and kicking him
9. Use Bob to tie things up on
10. Use Bob to pagpaparangal things up on
11. Use Bob as an audience
12. Have a staring contest with Bob
13. Use Bob reenact David and Goliath
14. Destroy Bob! Mwahahahaha!
15. Learn from Bob how to scowl
16. Learn from Bob how not to scowl
17....
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posted by danmarino900
You get everything!! You teenage girls get special treatment from everyone just cuz ur girls. You have the power to make any guy you want fall for you. Girls don't get rejected and called a loser sa pamamagitan ng guys when flirting like ever!! It's like your better than everyone and everyone gives you everything and all you can do about it is complain! Complain that you have it harder than guys cuz you pms or because life is madami comPlicated for you. Guys have to get rejected sa pamamagitan ng girls all the time, most are super lonely in high school where less girls are, and we have to do hard manual work. Pmsing is tough...
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Source: strictlywallpaper.com
posted by i_luv_angst
65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Wisconsin plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Wisconsin sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Wisconsin drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Wisconsin throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Wisconsin have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above Zero
People in Miami all die.
Wisconsinites close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico...
continue reading...
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Source: Google
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Source: puwang Trip wolpeyper
posted by alexischaos2004
Hello everyone who happened to click on this, my name is Alexis, and this is Fanpop.



So, you may have heard about a website called DeviantART, correct? You probably have knowledge on what goes on there. Apparently, there's a lot of shit that goes on over there! So, in today's commentary, I'll be sharing my thoughts on this heap of fanfiction/art.


DeviantART is a large website where people all around the world can share their own works of art. You can also post literature and whatnot. This is a way of socializing on the internet, and this site is very popular. When there's the pros, there's always...
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