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50 Fun things to do in a Grocery Store

1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.

2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.

3. Every time you turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”

4. Go up to the manager and tell him or her that you’ve Nawawala your mommy.

5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.

6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.

7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he or she has anything for body lice.

8. After visiting the bakery section, go up and down the aisles exclaiming, “My buns are squishy!”

9. While arguing with an invisible friend, you proceed to play tug-of-war over an item.

10. Hold your nose while standing in line at the meat department.

11. Ask the deli clerk how much potato salad it would take for two people to comfortably wrestle in.

12. Fake cell phone conversation: “Doctor, I couldn’t possibly have malaria. That was weeks ago!”

13. Start doing a river dance in front of the corned beef.

14. Tell the checkout cashier that you have to hurry, or your spaceship will leave without you.

15. Tell the checkout bagger that you knew him in a former life, and ask why he left without a note.

16. Ask someone if they saw your picture in the post office and remark that it was one of your best.

17. On a hot summer day, ask the manager if someone can help you clean the snow from your car.

18. Tell a customer that you’re from the future and have just zapped back for an historic vacation.

19. Walk around holding a copy of the Scarlet Letter while sporting a big red “A”.

20. Ask a clerk if you can test several types of deodorant before making a decision to buy one.

21. Using a stethoscope, listen intently to several coconuts in the produce aisle.

22. Tell one of the lobsters that you’ve brought the potion to turn him back into a man.

23. Run up to the fresh vegetables in the produce aisle and yell, “Boo!”

24. Play peek-a-boo with a little old lady while waiting in the checkout line.

25. When the clerk in the deli asks for your order, mime it.

26. Walk around smoking an invisible cigarette – and get great satisfaction from it.

27. Pretend to cook a meal using the pots and pans in the housewares aisle.

28. Bring a concealed whoopie cushion with you and activate it every couple of minutes.

29. Ask if anyone has seen your pet snake – he was just in your pocket a minuto ago.

30. While waiting in the deli line, pretend to read an invisible book – be sure to turn the pages.

31. Hold up a can of bug spray and ask someone what type of kraker would go best with it.

32. Shout out, “OK, who squeezed my melons?!”

33. If you see someone offering samples, keep circling like a pating and snatch snacks at each pass.

34. Invite other customers to sumali you in a game of limbo using a pepperoni stick.

35. Go up to a dead isda on ice, sob and say, “We were supposed to be married on Saturday!”

36. In the middle of one of the aisles, scream, “Food fight!”

37. Stand in front of the ice cream freezer, look intently at it, and scream intermittently.

38. Squirm around a lot and shout, “Quick – where’s the hemorrhoid cream?”

39. Pick up bananas at random; act as though you’re on the phone and say, “Sorry, wrong number!”

40. Point accusingly at one of the cucumbers and say, “I thought I told you to wait in the car!”

41. Holding a flea collar, ask a clerk how you get the flea to hold still so that you can put it on him.

42. Look for someone holding a jar of honey, and then explain that this is actually bee vomit.

43. Every time you pass a particular type of meat, imitate the sound of the animal.

44. Walk down the aisles like a turkey, while opening your eyes as wide as physically possible.

45. As you pass the lettuce, turn toward it, fold your arms and say, “You’re out of your head!”

46. Pick up a jar of pickled pig’s feet and – in a distraught voice – say, “Oh, no! It’s Babe!”

47. As you pass people in the aisles, look startled and run in the opposite direction.

48. Bring a ventriloquist dummy and argue about what to buy for hapunan as you go through the store.

49. Tell the produce clerk that the bananas are fighting again, and that they’re all getting bruised.

50. Tell the manager to call for a clean-up in the laxative aisle.
added by ilovehinder
added by Booyahboy
posted by nmdis
Dream it Out Loud

How do you speak in silence?
Why do you sleep when you're awake?
If we just cut the tie lines, then we can simply sail away.
Pack up your things. Write it all down.
You'll soon be accustomed to the sound.

Dream it out loud.
Dream it out loud.
Dream it out loud.

I want to paint in colors.
Leaving the land of black and white.
And if we do go back there, we'll see it in a different light.
Ready to go. Open the door.
Just like the rain falls from the cloud.

Dream it out loud.
Dream it out loud.
Dream it out loud.

It's a better day.
We're on our way.
If there's anything we can't remember.
Who's to say it's not all just a dream.

Don't have to think about it.
Just like a river it will flow.
We waited to long without it.
If we just get up now and go.
Open your eyes and look around.
You'll be surprised what you have found.

Dream it out loud. (x 10)
(I'm dreaming. Keep on dreaming.) (x10)
I'm bored so this artikulo is walang tiyak na layunin anyways...

1. Like- it makes you seem younger

2. Like hell- fun to say and it's useful

3. Unfuckingbelieveable- you have to have madami words like: in-sonofabitch-inginsane or out-goddamn-rageous

4. Bro- No. Just don't use this one.

5. Balls- Don't use it as an exclamation and be like "balls"

6. Sweet- Only when talking about food

7. Shit- never "shoot"

8. -eroo- add this to the end of every possible word. Switcheroo, sexeroo, arresteroo

9. Buddy- buddy is what you call college students and men named Buddy. Okay, you have friends.

10. Calm Your Tits- encouraged

11. Piss-...
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posted by neonstars
I Was pagbaba artikulo in The Middle If The Night, & Someone Posted Lists Of Things They Hate. So, I decided to do the same ((:
Thanks For Whoever Gave me the idea sa pamamagitan ng the way, I'm Not sure who It was But Theirs was Great :D

- When your Ex's Tell You They Miss You But They Did Nothing To Be With You.

-Homophobic people. Sorry Boos, I am who I am (:

-When You Text Someone a Whole Paragraph and they Reply with two words. What The Hell?

- Flip-Flops. Uh, I Have really ugly feet...So Yeah.

- Dr.Pepper, Sorry I'm Sticking to kouk Products xD

- kendi Crush & Temple Run. Mainly because I Suck at...
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posted by darange
hi i am darange and welcome to getting to know me.
well first off my name is Clara H. in case you didn't know.
i am 17 and i live Chicago, i have 7 siblings on my moms side and 5 siblings on my real dads side.
i live with my mom and i have never met my real dad.
unfortunately i never will because he died 4 years ago.
sense i moved to Chicago i am going to be tahanan schooled, where i live there are not that many great schools. i have one friend that moved out here already, so i guess thats ok
4 tuktok thngs i pag-ibig besides family and mga kaibigan :
1.Music
2.books
3. humor
4.Doctor Who
Music:
Music has...
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posted by ShadowFan100
I decided to make a listahan a crap I hate (IDk if some of this will be offensive or not, but I just need to get a few of these things off my chest)

-Abusers/Racism (kinda in one)

I hate animal/human abusers who feel like "tough" just for hurting others different or smaller than they are.

-Sexism (of both sides)

The part I really hate about this is when they act like guys NEVER get abused. Abuse happens in both genders, yet it seems like the world only pays attention to the girl side and not BOTH. Not fair. Just cuz I'm not a girl don't mean I've never been abused or hated on ect.

-Agism

I'm nice person,...
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It's ok now. It's fake. Here is what I wrote though

Apparently, some users on walang tiyak na layunin found out that the walang tiyak na layunin club is going to be deleted do to some risks of Porn, spam and other content that violates the terms and services. This is sad. This club cannot be deleted. The walang tiyak na layunin club is one of the most popular clubs on Fanpop. We need to form a team or something to get rid of all stuff on here that violates the Term's and services. This club really needs to be saved.

It's also happening on other clubs too, such as the Sonic tagahanga Characters club. They are at risk at being deleted too because of...
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italics=dreams

regular=normal

you=enjoy

(Mituna’s POV)
Sollux and I walked down the hall, different blood types splattered everywhere. “What the hell ith going on here?” Sollux asked with frustration and curiosity in his voice. “I’ll be motherfuckin’ tellin’ you what’s all up and going on here” A voice had called out from behind us. Sollux and I stopped dead in our tracks, turning our heads slowly. There Gamzee stood, indigo blood pooling out of where it’s looks like he’s been cut, clubs in hand, walking slowly towards us.”Damn it Gamzee, what the hell hath gotten into...
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posted by nivi20997
FINAL TIDE OF NOMINEES ANNOUNCED FOR "TEEN CHOICE 2013" AIRING SUNDAY, AUGUST 11, LIVE ON FOX

"The Heat" and "Man of Steel" Lead Third Wave with Most Nominations
Lucy Hale, Ian Somerhalder, Laura Marano and Leven Rambin among Choice Stars Scheduled to Appear

The final tide of nominees has been announced for TEEN CHOICE 2013, airing LIVE Sunday, Aug. 11 (8:00-10:00 PM ET live/PT tape-delayed) on FOX. "The Heat" and "Man of Steel" lead the third wave with five nominations each, while cable drama "The Fosters" garnered four nominations.

Fans ages 13-19 can vote once each araw per category for their...
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{Sally's POV}


"I think i'm gonna settle this." Jane got up and ran inside the school.

"This is not going to end well." Me, Ben and scissor mouth said.

We all left the bench at the same time almost bumping into each other going into the building.

"Ben, what did she mean sa pamamagitan ng 'settle this'? I asked him, holding his hand.

"I don't know, but whatever it is, it's not gonna end well." Ben said, Letting go of may hand.

While we were walking we so Jane and Jeff.

We stopped where we were.

"Well, well,well. Guess who came crawling back!" Jeff said, playing with his knife.

"I CAME TO FUCKING SETTLE THIS!" Jane...
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posted by Bluekait
In the movie Scream, Randy sinabi “There are certain rules that one must abide sa pamamagitan ng in order to successfully survive a horror movie”.

1. You can never have sex. BIG NO-NO! BIG NO-NO! Sex equals death, okay?
2. You can never drink or do drugs. The sin factor! It’s a sin. It’s an extension of number one.
3. Never, ever, ever under any circumstances say, “I’ll be right back.” Because you won’t be back.

In Scream 2, the rules for a horror sequel were:

1. The body count is always bigger.
2. The death scenes are always much madami elaborate, with madami blood and gore.
3. If you want your films...
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posted by TheRealSexyKate
Almost all heavy ele­ments (every­thing but Hydro­gen, Helium, and a bit of Lithium) comes from stars that have gone super­nova. You are made of stars.

The solar sys­tem is in orbit around the cen­ter of the Milky Way.  We’re mov­ing at about 483,000 miles an hour.

There are madami mol­e­cules in a cup of water than there are cups of water in the ocean.

There are almost madami atoms in a grain of sand, than there are grains of sand on Earth.

The word “bed” looks like a bed. Also… shark

The mir­ror image of ’3.14′ looks like the word ‘PIE‘.

Pepsi Cola was orig­i­nally...
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posted by flippy_fan210
-when you ask someone for something and they try to annoy you because they have it and you don't

-school, you're there for 7 hours a day, they give you work you have to do at tahanan and you have almost no freedom

-JB, 1D, big time rush

-when your mga kaibigan call saying they'll come over and never ipakita up

-you like something your friend doesn't like so they HAVE to complain and say it sucks

-getting no freedom at your own tahanan and being controlled sa pamamagitan ng your parents

-crab cake

-girly things

-uptight people who can't stand jokes and practically spit in your face if you make one "dirty" or "wrong" joke

-overprotective...
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posted by unohana
1. Ichigo and orihime
(bleach)- I pag-ibig this couple!
Its like the princess and
the hero! He fights and she
heals him. Orihime loves ichigo and I
love this couple!
2. Renji and rukia(bleach)- He trained
so hard to be vice captain of her
brother. He got his bankai to save
her. They known each other and care
for each for years.
3. Ed and winry(FMA)- I pag-ibig the way
ed told her " i will give you half of my
life if you give me half yours". Than
winry sinabi "how about i give you all
of it"!
4. Roy and riza(FMA)- it was sad yet
cute moment when she cried for him.
It was very cute when roy hugged
her and how they got each...
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posted by OmegaLeader
101 things to do when your bored~
Original link

1. Look up urban legends, and/or ghost stories in your town. Investigate!

2. If you live in a city with public transport (bus, train, subway), plan a trip using the transit system. Take some mga kaibigan along for company, or just enjoy the ride and people-watch!

3. Get yourself a roll of quarters and find a video arcade.

4. Strike up a conversation with a total stranger.

5. Learn to tie sailors’ knots.

6. Volunteer. It’s fun and you’ll get good karma. :o)

7. Hang out with old people. They have great stories and sometimes need the company.

8. Perform...
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posted by i_luv_Pelon_xxx
Its not finished yet but I'm gonna continue it...this is (will be) also avadable on my DA account
Iluvpelon14

Yay
One day, a little girl named kaluri was at the zoo. She loved monkeys, she loved throwing the chips for them, but mostly attrackted seagulls and other un-monkey like flying pests. She loved turtals too, untill one farted on her and turned her insane. Right now, she is sitting in a mental heatbox in a mental tahanan for mental hoes and can't stop shaking her head from side to side and moving it round it a bilog like some retarded freak. She also eats air, don't do drugs kids. This child...
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Historically, sweat has been an active ingredient in perfume and pag-ibig potions.g
In Bali, men believed a woman would fall in pag-ibig if her suitor fed her a certain kind of leaf incised with the image of a god who sported a very large penis.e
The Mexican chief Montezuma considered tsokolate a “love drug” and drank 50 cups of tsokolate a araw before visiting his harem of 600 women.a
Scientists suggest that most people will fall in pag-ibig approximately seven times before marriage.h
Some individuals who claim never to have felt romantic pag-ibig suffer from hypopituitarism, a rare disease that doesn’t...
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posted by Heidihi2
Yo Mama’s Breath Is So Bad…
I'm sitting here at the computer, scouring the internet for the world's best bad breath jokes. Honestly, you'd think it'd be easier. I only found a few, and decided to twist it into "Yo Mama" style.

Yo Mama Poetry
Roses are red, violets are black, why's Yo mama's chest, as flat as her back?

Roses are red, Yo mom's lips are blue, she sucked off that Smurf and did me up too.

Yo Mama Comebacks
Let's get off moms, 'cause I just got off yours.

Let's get off moms, 'cause she can't handle those five men on her now.

Tell Yo Mama
Tell Yo mama that I'm mad at her... and her...
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posted by Surfer_Girl_16
._. or (._.) indecisive
:-) or =] or :) or =) or :] or :^) or :D or :^D Smile or happy
:-L or =L or o¬o Drool or Zombie. Being tired.
,':Y An inquisitive duck.
:-( or =( or D: or D= Frown or Sad
<3 )~ A mouse
xP or XP Straining, disgust, bad joke, dead, dead from laughing, silliness
xD or XD Laughing hard (often taken as Cartman from the television
show South Park)
X8 laughing hard while covering mouth with hands
:S or :s or =S or =s confused
:Þ or :þ or =b or =Þ happy, dropped jaw, raspberry
:/ or : or =/ or = Skepticism, annoyance, uneasiness, or a slight
frown; dissatisfaction, lack of favourable...
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