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posted by simpleplan
1. When the teacher says to “take a seat”, you answer “take it where”.
2. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, you answer “Absent”.
3. When she calls roll, you answer “yo mama”.
4. When the teacher says something, you say “is that so?”
5. If you so happened to not turn in your homework say, your class pet ate it.
6. Tell your teacher you’ll turn in your homework, as soon as your parents finish doing it.
7. Tell your teacher you did not turn in your homework because you were watching TV.
8. Fold your homework into a cootie-catcher.
9. Fold your homework into a paper airplane and fly it to the teacher’s desk. Extra points if it hits the teachers head.
10. Beg your teacher for extensions on reports.
11. Whisper to your neighbor during a test, but claim it was the sugar ants on the floor.
12. Argue with your teacher about your test grade and claim it was supposed to be one or two points higher than it actually is.
13. While your teacher is grading papers in class, sharpen your pencil. Very loudly.
14. When the teacher says to stop, covertly break the lead and say “but it’s not sharpened”.
15. Roll your pencil across the desk.
16. Do drum rolls with your pencil. Use the head of the person in front of you as the cymbals.
17. Never bring a pen or pencil so you always have to borrow one from the teacher.
18. Return the pencil to the teacher, with the eraser end all chewed and slobbery.
19. Use crayon for important assignments. Purple crayon.
20. Lean your chair back so that it is balancing on only two legs. Extra points if you fall over backward.
21. Covertly chew gum in class. Extra points if you snap and crack it with out being caught.
22. When possible, eat pagkain in class. Loud, crunchy food.
23. Go into the graphics options on the school computers, click graphics properties and click on rotation. Rotate 180 degrees. Extra points if the teacher can’t find out how to get it back the way it was.
24. Put wads of chewed gum on the end of your pencil.
25. Ask to be excused to the bathroom. Even if you just came from recess lunch.
26. When the teacher asks a question, raise your hand. If the teacher calls on you, ask if you can go to the bathroom.
27. Ask if you can be excused to go to the bathroom, then take a tour arround the school.
28. Put too many staples on your paper when you staple it. Extra points if you make a good disensyo with them.
29. Write so small on your paper that the teacher can barely read it.
30. Bring brightly colored notebook paper to write on. Examples: neon pink, purple, red, orange, green…and so on.
31. Blurt out the sagot to the teachers questions.
32. When your teacher asks a question, wiggle in your upuan and shout “I know, I know!”
33. When the teacher ask a question, wave your hand like a palm puno in a hurricane and say “pick me, pick me!” When the teacher finally calls on you, say “never mind”.
34. Raise your hand. When the teacher calls on you, look innocent and say “I was just stretching”.
35. Raise your hand. When the teacher calls on you say “I wasn’t paying attention”.
36. Make basket shots with every paper you want to throw away. Extra points if you get a basket.
37. When the teacher calls on you, tell her the longest personal story you know.
38. When the teacher says “Pay attention please” reply “how much should I pay?”
39. When the teacher calls on you, talk so softly that the teacher can barely hear you. When she tells you to speak up, pretend to be dead on your desk.
40. When the teacher calls on you say “finally”—Even if you where picked first.
41. Count how many times your teacher says um. At the end of the period, present the grand total at the end of class.
42. For your book report, choose the shortest book with the most pictures you can find.
43. Whistle while you work.
44. Never seem to listen to directions.
45. Right after the teacher gives directions say “huh”.
46. Comb, brush, or braid your hair in class.
47. Bring a lizard, mouse, rat, exedra into class. “Accidentally” let it lose. Extra points if the teacher screams like a little girl.
48. Don’t work when the teacher is looking. Work when the teacher is working.
49. Sigh, “This is boring” heavily.
50. Laugh out loud for no reason.
51. Don’t talk to a substitute teacher because the is a “stranger”.
52. Never let your teacher finish a sentence without an interruption.
53. After everything your teacher says say “That’s what you think”.
54. If you have a substitute teacher, ask you and your mga kaibigan to sit in all different places so that the substitute’s seating chart is all messed up.
55. Track sand into the classroom sa pamamagitan ng “accident”.
56. Keep dropping your pencil.
57. Call her “grandma”.
58. Call him “grandpa”
59. Throw lots of spit wads.
60. Fall asleep in class. If the teacher wakes you, say “aww, I was dreaming you were actually nice”.
61. After class, cover every inch of the dry-erase board with dry-erase marker so that the teacher can not write anything on it.
62. Hide other books inside of text books and appear to be pagbaba the text book.
63. After every time the teacher explains something ask “is that going to be on the test?”
64. After every time the teacher explains something say “well, duh”.
65. Make up humorous excuses for being late.
66. Forget to have your parents make excuses for being late.
67. Yell “Yessssssssss” after every time you finished something. Anything.
68. Annoy Ms. Thompson. AT ALL COST.
69. If Mr. Corley walks by, whistle innocently, and when he turns his back, run fast.
70. Make animal shows on projector.
71. Read your math book when you are supposed to be pagbaba history. If the teacher asks why, say “oh, how did that get there?”
72. Read comic books hidden in your text books.
73. Ask a teacher how old she is. When she replies, put your hand over your puso and say “WOW!”
74. Ask the same tanong the teacher just finished answering 10 minutos ago.
75. Knock a heavy text book off your mesa again…and again…and again….and again….
76. Keep finding an excuse to keep walking in front of the projector.
77. Smudge up your paper so that it is hard to read.
78. Ask for help on something. Then say “never mind”. Then ask for help on the same thing 2 minutos later to annoy your teacher.
79. Make animal bunny ears to the teacher if she/he is infront of the projector.
80. Read out loud during silent pagbaba time.
81. Pretend to fall asleep instead of following instructions. Then say “I don’t get it”.
82. Doodle on your desk. Big, hard to ignore doodles.
83. Write stupid tanong on your desk.
84. Put messages in your textbooks.
85. Always write in marker. Bright neon marker colors.
86. While the teacher is talking, roll your eyes. Then yawn and stretch. After that, gaze longingly out the window. Keep looking at the clock every five minutes. Sigh. Very loudly.
87. Whistle very loudly when the teacher is trying to concentrate.
88. Never look up a word in the dictionary. Always ask your teacher.
89. Make your id picture hard to read.
90. Put staples all over the floor.
91. If you have the guts, start a pagkain fight. ?
92. Come in just after the kampanilya every day.
93. Complain about the pagkain at the school cafeteria.
94. Pretend like you have only one brain cell.
95. Where sunglasses inside. Even if it is cloudy.
96. Laugh stupidly. Often.
97. Talk loudly about your paborito show.
98. If you can, get the necessary materials to take over the p.a system. Then, play forty minutos of your paborito cd over it. Extra points if you do not get caught.
99. Play coin football during silent pagbaba time.
100. Gather your stuff ten minutos before class ends.
101. Run out of the classroom right after the bell. Before the teacher dismisses you.
posted by thatguywashot
1.Pull aside an unruly child in a preschool Sunday School class and say: "If you're bad in here, you'll go to Hell."

2.A week beforehand, find a member of ACT-UP. Tell him the scheduled sermon is entitled "Why God Sent AIDS to Punish Homosexuals".

3.Put stray Aso in amerikana closets.

4.Un-tune the piano.

5.Replace the pianist's sheet music with "Stairway to Heaven".

6.Going through all the hymnals, mark song 666.

7.Find an empty seat, and ask the person susunod to it: "Is this upuan SAVED?"

8.Toss around a giant tabing-dagat ball before service, like at Grateful Dead concerts.

9.Ten minutos before it starts, find...
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posted by My8thUsername
A/N:Okay, I have seen a lot of these around, so I decided to look through through all of them an make my own listahan of tuktok Five 'Roses Are Red' Poems. Just cause I wanted to. Basically, everything I do is 'just cause I want to'. Except homework.

5.A/N:Best disclaimer EVER! Well, one of them...
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Me no own
So you no sue

4."Roses are red, violets are blue."
That's what they say, but it just isn't true.
Roses are red, and apples are too,
But violets are violet. Violets aren't blue.
An kahel is orange, but Greenland's not green
And pinkies aren't pink. So what does it mean?...
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posted by EmzLovesCheryl
Hey, this is my piece for my drama exam, without the stage directions. I started Pagsulat it out on here as a way of learning it, then I thought, why no post it? I may as well, it's going to do no harm. :D
So here it is, its rather depressing though. So if you don't need to be depressed right now, then I suggest you don't read it. :)

[Give me a break. You’re going to go back to your mga kaibigan and either forget all about us or tell a story about the hideous freak you met tonight. You don’t know me, if you did, you’d never think we’d be friends. I don’t have mga kaibigan - except my brother....
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Jetzt geht's los Freunde
Hier ist Markus Becker und die Mallorca Cowboys und das rote Pferd

Wir singen zusammen
Da hat das rote Pferd sich einfach umgekehrt
und hat mit seinem Schwanz die Fliege abgewehrt
Die Fliege war nicht dumm,
sie machte summ,summ,summ
Und flog mit viel Gebrumm
um's rote Pferd herum

lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalala

Ok Freunde,
das war nicht schlecht für yungib Anfang
Aber da geht noch was
Seit ihr gut drauf? Jaaa
Habt ihr lust zu feiern? Jaaa
Dann macht euch bereit und singt mit uns zusammen

Die Fliege...
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Hello I'm NOT the nostalgia critic, I remembered it so you don't have to. I've been watching NC's biggest dumba** in distress video and I thought I'd do one. Except for me it's only going to be characters that are animated and it's not only going to be female characters, there are some male characters here too. With other characters I can find at least some aspect of heroics in them except for these characters. Please keep in mind that this is just my opinion and I don't hate all of these characters. Please comments, enjoy.

10.Esmeralda(The Hunchback of Notre Dame)

I promise I'm not being...
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added by fatoshleo
[Everybody Loves Raymond] 116 - Diamonds #385
Marie: Oh I used to pag-ibig Valentines Day!... then I met your father.
Frank: I used to pag-ibig every day.
Contributed sa pamamagitan ng funnytvquotes.com

[Everybody Loves Raymond] 121 - Fascinating Debra #409
Debra: There's nothing funny about me to imitate y'know?
Ray: Oh, what are you talking about? Here I'll do you. "Ray, get off of me, it's not your birthday"
Contributed sa pamamagitan ng funnytvquotes.com

[Everybody Loves Raymond] 202 - Father Knows Least #380
Ray: Look, you have to do what Mommy says.
Ally: Why?
Ray: 'Cause I do.
Contributed sa pamamagitan ng funnytvquotes.com

[Everybody Loves Raymond]...
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"Sometimes you wanna give up cause you dont think that you can make it. But in the end you'll be ok. Things will come and go.

You have to hang tight, hold on, be strong, ilipat on, and keep your chin up. Cause tomorrow you'll deside on another way.

When everything inside you hurts, you just cant believe how it always comes back so much wrose. Just when you think you had all you can take, just stick up your head and know that you will always have a better day.

Somedays it can be hard and feels like the world is spining. Its never easy but we have rough times to try and build up our character not...
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Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11...
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added by MeiMisty
added by MeiMisty
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added by Riku114
added by Riku114
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