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posted by patrisha727
Some if these are actually prety cool and funny. ^_^

1 Attend at least one major sporting event: the Super Bowl, the Olympics, the U.S. Open.

2 Throw a huge party and invite every one of your friends.

3 Swim with a dolphin.

4 Skydive.

5 Have your portrait painted.

6 Learn to speak a foreign language and make sure you use it.

7 Go skinny-dipping at midnight in the South of France.

8 Watch the launch of the puwang shuttle.

9 Spend a whole araw eating basura pagkain without feeling guilty.

10 Be an extra in a film.

11 Tell someone the story of your life, sparing no details.

12 Make pag-ibig on a forest floor....
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Dare

1. Prank call your best friend.

2. Run around the neighborhood screaming, "I pag-ibig GAY PEOPLE!"

3. Ask your parents when they first had sex.

3. Pour mayo, ketchup, vinegar, and sugar and into a cup and drink the contents.

4. Sing the first song that comes to your head in your loudest voice.

5. Scream and say, "My water bottle broke!" (I did this and many people heard it as "my water broke lol)

6. Ask your crush out then dump him/her 5 mins later.

7. Whenever someone tries to explain something to you say, "Why don't you speak madami clearly?"

8. Run around the house in your underwear. (Recommended...
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I'm a girl pervert!I say guys are crazy cuz they think I touch their butts!I blame it on their hormones even though I touched their butts alot!

1.Be a real pervert

2.You don't have to look like one but just act like one

3.Always when you're walking behind a guy always look at their butt!And say"say veiw" then touch it nice and gently! :)

4.They look back and ask you say'what?no way especially not your flat ass!!!!"when they turn around find another butt to look at!

5.Look at their muscles when they're wearing sando sleeve shirts and they're doing heavy lifting

6.Take pictures as well

7.Always comment...
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posted by Lady10358
Found this on google
1. If you're lucky enough and find someone with the shirt: FREE HUGS or If you find a sando store selling it, hug the shirt/person and if they/someone notices you, say "It says free hugs!"
2. go to the pagkain court and go to a fast pagkain place and take tons of straws and put as many possible in your mouth and stand on a mesa pag-awit elmo's world theme.
3. Go to one of those toddler toy/clothing stores and hold up a baby outfit/toy and yell as loud as you can "I pag-ibig THIS TOY! I'D PLAY WITH IT araw AND NIGHT!"
4. Go to the bathroom and hide in a stall until you see an old lady/guy...
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posted by sakurahanazono
Alpha kenny body

1.)Write down on a piece of paper "Alpha kenny body" and get someone to read it. (it sounds like they're saying I'll fuck anybody xD)

I won a math debate

2.)Write down "I won a math debate" and once again get someone to read it. (It should sound like they're saying I want to masterbate xD)

Eye map ness

3.) Say: Eye
Spell: Map
Say: ness

Write this down on paper and you have to do as instructed on the left. (It sounds like they're saying I'm a penis xD)


Eye Emma rate hard

4.) write down "Eye emma rate hard" down on a piece of paper (it sounds like they're saying I'm a retard)

Eye M egg ay

5.) Say: Eye
Say: M
Say: egg
Say: ay

(It should sound like they're saying I am a gay xD)
1. Walk up to them and ask them for their autographs.
2. Walk up to them, introduce yourself extremely upbeat and friendly-like and end the conversation sa pamamagitan ng saying "It was nice to meet you. It's so cool to talk to people outside of the asylum." Then walk away.
3. While walking down the street, in a mall or any other such place, laugh out loud for no apparent reason. Be as creative with the way you laugh as you wish.
4. Run up to them, excitedly calling them Father, Mother, Aunt or Uncle. If you dare, hug them.
5. While passing a walang tiyak na layunin stranger, stop and exclaim to them, "You have no idea!" in a...
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DEMENTED POEMS

mga rosas are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

mga rosas are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

mga rosas are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And ipakita me your tits

mga rosas make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And you pag-ibig it up the shitter

mga rosas are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

mga rosas are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

mga rosas are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

mga rosas are shit
Violets are crap
ipakita me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

mga rosas are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And lunok it down

mga rosas are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
link

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┊╱╲╳¯– —≡჻░▒▓ ▤▥▦▧▨▩█ ▌▐▀▄ ◠◡╭╮╯╰ │┤╡╢╖╕╣ ║╝╜╛ ┐ └┴┬├─┼
╞╟╚╔╩╦ ╠═ ╬╧╨╤ ╥╙╘╒╓ ╫╪┘┌
{。^◕‿◕^。} (◕^^◕) ✖✗✘♒♬✄ ✂✆✉✦✧♱ ♰♂♀☿❤❥ ❦❧ ™®©♡♦ ♢♔♕♚♛★ ☆✮ ✯☄☾☽ ☼☀☁☂☃☻ ☺☹ ☮۞۩ εїз☎☏¢ ☚☛☜☝☞☟✍
✌☢☣☠☮☯ ♠♤♣♧♥ ♨๑❀✿ ψ☪☭♪ ♩♫℘ℑ ℜℵ♏ηα ʊϟღツ回...
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just got this while browsing the net

1.I was kidnapped sa pamamagitan ng terrorists and they only just let me go, so I didn't have time to do it.

2.I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to my teacher's heavy workload.

3.A bunch of nerds estola it to make sure theirs were completely perfect.

4.We ran out of toilet paper at my house last night, and my Dad isn't feeling so good. He grabbed it in a big rush and I haven't seen it since.

5.My mother took it to have it framed.

6.It was in my back pocket and a pickpocket estola it.

7.I let somebody copy it but they never gave it back.

8.My mom's whooping cough vaccination...
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I never thought I would be doing a listahan like this because when I do lists based on looks it's on women. As a straight guy, it's easier for me to rank women than men. However, when I put my mind to something I try my best to come through. I had already done this listahan with women and I remember being asked if I would ever do it with men, so here it is. Keep in mind this is all just my personal opinion as a straight guy and it wasn't easy to figure out AT ALL! Please comment but be polite. Also, always comment because I worked HARD on this and during a time I had just had laser eye surgery and...
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We're all familiar with the term damsel in distress and we usually think about a female character that's tied to the train tracks sa pamamagitan ng a villain with a curly-q mustache, and has to be saved sa pamamagitan ng the dashing hero. I wonder where the idea first came from. We've always seen this with female characters because female damsels in distress have been around since the dawn of literature itself. However, during the mid or late 1900's, we've discovered that there are male characters that have to constantly be saved as well. What's the term for male damsel's in distress? There isn't one, even though some people...
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Jeff Foxworthy is now picking on Michigan.

If you consider it a sport to gather your pagkain sa pamamagitan ng drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all araw hoping that the pagkain will swim by, you might live in Michigan .

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each taon because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Michigan .

If your local Dairy reyna is closed from November through April, you might live in Michigan .

If you instinctively walk like a ibong dagat for five months out of the year, you might live in Michigan .

If someone in a store offers...
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posted by vlad_todd_fan
This is A TRUE STORY AND IF YOU DON'T PASS THIS ON YOU DON'T HAVE A SOUL!!!

My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All araw long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear...
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In the never-ending "Twilight" battle between Team Edward and Team Jacob, we have the results: The vampire -- and the man who plays him -- claims the buzz. Sure, there's been a lot of tough talk about the lobo boy -- aka Jacob Black, aka Taylor Lautner -- wooing affections away from his glittering rival. But, as a brooding Bella knows, it takes a lot to shake one's loyalty to Edward Cullen -- aka Robert Pattinson.

Not that there hasn't been a time when many have strayed: Jacob Black (and Lautner himself) wrangled madami searches on Yahoo! than Edward Cullen (and Pattinson) for about three weeks...
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posted by ilovepenguins
I didn't write this!


Sell used bus tickets. Claim they are for half the price.

Get on the bus, grinning widely. As soon as the bus begins to move, burst into song. When you arrive at the susunod stop, stop singing. Step off the bus backwards, still grinning widely.

If you are seated between two passengers, yawn loudly, strech, and put your arms around them.

Greet passengers with a big hug, handshake, smile and say ³Hi, call me Norman²

Put a leash on a friend and walk him/her onto the bus. Insist he/she is a dog and should go for half fare.

When arriving at your stop, do not push the button to...
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50 Fun things to do in a Grocery Store

1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.

2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.

3. Every time you turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”

4. Go up to the manager and tell him or her that you’ve Nawawala your mommy.

5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.

6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.

7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he or she has anything...
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Well, I opened up my mailbox the other araw and pulled out a letter adressed to me from some...person named "Kether Smith". And first thing I thought was "Kether.... that's a weird name!" but I opened up the letter anyway hoping that this "Kether" was a secret admierer or something sending me some money, but insted, the letter sinabi (word for word! I'm typing this strait out of the letter!)

Dahlia,
    I know that you’ll want to come looking for me, but don’t. I’m not worth it. You remember that kuwintas I gave you? That holds some of my power within it, so it’s okay...
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1. You can do whatever you damn well please.

2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.

3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?

4. You can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.

5. You can slump around the house in any old thing.

6. You don't having to think about birth control, calendars or ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.

7. You can go out and flirt as much as your puso desires, without a worry in the world.

8. The toilet upuan issue -- need I say more?

9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four tanong to determine the level of your intellect. Your ang sumagot must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating or wasting time.

And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: You are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in segundo place.
In which position are you now?

Answer:

If you answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. You overtook the segundo runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the susunod tanong try not to be so dumb.

2 : If you overtake the last...
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posted by zanesaaomgfan
1. Ask him why did he marry a woman like your mom

2. Tell him you met a guy in school

3. Sing a song he hates

4(reply to number 3) When he plays a song he likes, ask: "What awful music. How do you listen to that crap?"

5. When he is driving you(anywhere), constantly ask "where are we going?"

6. Call him sa pamamagitan ng his name[Not so risky, always done it as a kid!]

7. When he lectures you, after he finishes it, ask him: "Ever heard of breath mint?"

8. Tell him that Justin Bieber is your paborito guy[If you hate Bieber, go with Cody Simpson or some who you like ALLOT!]

9. Come tahanan saying you found your true...
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