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posted by hetaliaitaly
1.Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pool.

2.Try pants on backwards and Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.

3.At any clothing Stores take Heeps of stuff into the dressing room take an ipod or something and play on it while ur bored and when its time to close say "I STILL HAVE TO TRY STUFF ON IDIOT".

4.Sneeze on the pagkain sample's they have in woolworths.

5.At the bottom of an escalator, scream, “My shoelaces! Augh!” and pretend your stuck.

6.Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether You can get a CD that you know they dont have and ask really...
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posted by blossomyumyum
Here is a long riddle for you to think about and actually READ. Who cares how long it is?

I hate my name.
I like my name.
I have a best friend.
My best friend is younger than me.
My best friend is older than me.
I have no friends.
I have too many friends.
I always answer my phone.
I never answer my phone.
I answer my phone most of the time.
I play along with prank callers.
I hate when people don’t reply to my text message/take forever to reply.
I have/had blonde hair.
I have/had brown hair.
I have/had red hair.
I have dyed my hair madami than five times.
I have never dyed my hair.
I hate when people can’t...
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posted by IloveMyLord
"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
- Charles Caleb Colton

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only sa pamamagitan ng this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin

"My mga kaibigan are my estate."
- Emily Dickinson

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

"A friend is one who walks in when others walk out"
-Walter Winchell

"A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else."
- Len Wein - Sent sa pamamagitan ng Paulo Louro

"A friend is someone who knows the...
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posted by LizzyTheCat
1.Hum loudly in class and when he/she tells 'the person who is humming' to keep quiet-stop but then carry on two minutos later.

2.Tap your foot loudly when he/she is grading tests.

3.While he/she is busy explaining something, have a huge coughing fit (make sure it's loud) and don't let her finish a sentence.

4.Push your chair in and pull it out, non-stop.

5.Sigh loudly while he/she is explaining something and look longingly at a clock (or your watch if you are wearing one) and then look out the window and sigh again.

6.Pretend to be asleep during a lesson and when you get woken up, scream loudly...
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posted by tokidoki123
[The Simpsons] 1F02 - Homer Goes To College #255
Homer: I've been working on a plan. During the exam, I'll hide under some coats, and hope that somehow everything will work out.
Contributed sa pamamagitan ng funnytvquotes.com



[The Simpsons] 1F05 - Bart's Inner Child #32
Skinner: Damn...they're very slowly getting away!
Moe: They're heading for the old mill!
Homer: No we're not.
Moe: Well, let's go to the old mill anyway -- get some cider!
Contributed sa pamamagitan ng funnytvquotes.com



[The Simpsons] 1F06 - Boy Scoutz 'N the hood #86
Homer: Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what...
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posted by tokidoki123
[Family Guy] S01E05 - A Hero Sits susunod Door #178
Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have you tried ipinapakita him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy.
Contributed sa pamamagitan ng funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E07 - Lethal Weapons #183
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.
Contributed sa pamamagitan ng funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E10 - isda Out Of Water #181
Auctioner: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty...
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What Color Of Socks Are You Wearing?

Red = Loud
Green = Stupid
None = Freaky
Fuzzy = Gorgeous
Yellow = Innocent
Purple = A Little Too Happy
Black = Emo
Stripes = Funny
Gray = Ugly.
kulay-rosas = Preppy
Light Blue = Sweaty
Other = Hot
White = Sexy


What Kind Of Pants Are You Wearing?
Shorts = Cutie
Skirt/Skort = Cheerleader
Corduroy = Weirdo
Tight Jeans = Scene Kid
Ripped Jeans = Emo
Cammo = Cage Fighter
Jeans = Prep .
Pajamas = Creep
Cargo = Clown
Sweats = Athlete
Boxers = Brat
Booty Shorts = Female
Capris = Gangster
Nothing = Dare-Devil
Dickies = Weirdo
Bikini Bottoms = Tiki Girl
Other = Drug Addict


What Is Your Natural...
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posted by Wendy99
LITTLE TONY FROM BROOKLYN ON MATH

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left ?" She calls on little TONY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little TONY says, "I have a tanong for YOU."

"There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The segundo is gobbling down the tuktok and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the tuktok of the ice cream....
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posted by Usui--takumi
Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did you get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A ibong dagat rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat,...
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posted by bizeshnakarki
I found this artikulo on the internet.

1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the kama holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.
2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors sa pamamagitan ng your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.
3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards,...
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posted by adaug
Mom:Okay kids!(4 kids)get in here!I got news!
Kennedy:What is it?
Mom:Me and your dad are going on a date
*grasshopper sound*
Mom:so you guy will need a babysitter!


*10 minutos later the baby sitter came*
Mom:Hello!I'm Amy!
Babysitter:I'm Ashley!
Mom:DARELL!Get your butt in here!
*Mom and Dad leave*
Ashley:Hi kids!I'm your babysitter Ashley!
kids:HI!
Kid:I'm Amber!I'm four!
Ashley:Hi Amber!*ruffles hair*cute!
Amber:Never...touch...ME!!!
Ashley:OH kay!
Kid:I'm Zack!I'm 9
Ashley:Hello!


*59 minutos later*
Amber:I wuv tsaa parties!!
Ashley*Walks in*Hey Amber what are you doing?
Amber:Having a tsaa party!
Ashley:Can I...
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Dost thou pag-ibig life?
Then do not squander time,
for that is the stuff life is made of.
Benjamin Franklin

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
Helen Keller

Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will.
Jawaharal Nehru








Life is like the dice that, falling, still ipakita a different face. So life, though it remains the same, is always presenting different aspects.
Alexis

Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, or madala its troubles patiently.
Palladas

The geat blessing of mankind are within us and...
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posted by Juilet1234
Mittens.
They warm your hands, protect you from the cold. They're not a bad thing.
But imagine if for your whole life you wore heavy mittens. If you dial a phone, try to use a remote control, or try to play a board game, you're still wearing mittens. Practically everything is much madami difficult.
Right there.
Practically everything is much madami difficult.
Remember that.
Now imagine this.
You're in a room with the TV on full volume. The radio is blaring loud, screeching music. The lights are flickering on and off. Everything you see is magnified, is a much bigger deal than it normally would...
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 Rose Island before its destruction
Rose Island before its destruction
-The Republic of Rose Island (Respubliko de la Insulo de la Rozol in Esperanto, the official language of the once-micronation)
-Area: .04 km (4305 sq. ft.)
-Date of foundation: June 24, 1968
-Leader: President Giorgio Rosa
-Language: Esperanto
-Currency: Mill
-Location: Adriatic Sea, between Cesnatico and Rimini, Italy

The Republic of Rose Island (Esperanto: Respubliko de la Insulo de la Rozoj) was a short-lived micronation on a man-made platform in the Adriatic Sea, 11 km (7 mi) off the coast of the province of Forlì, Italy.

In 1967, Italian engineer Giorgio Rosa funded the construction of a 400...
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posted by Thecharliejay
Act like a spy / secret agent for the day
Act like you just met your friend for the first time
Act profound
Ad lib
Add some strawberries to your ice cream
Adopt strange mannerisms
Alphabetize the pagkain in your fridge
Announce your candidacy for President.
Annoy total strangers
Apply for a unicorn hunting license
Appreciate everything
Archive the Internet to 3.5" floppy disks (low density of course)
Arrest yourself
Ask a tanong nobody can answer
Ask embarrassing questions
Ask for seconds
Ask people how to pronounce their name
Ask people if they want to see your “belly button treasure”
Ask...
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Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Windex
Do not spray in eyes.

Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.


Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable sa pamamagitan ng the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

Baby...
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posted by pollydbookworm
*4 Boy friends*
>
> Once upon a time, there was this girl who had four
> boyfriends.
>
> She loved the 4th boyfriend the most and adored him with
> rich robes and
> treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him
> nothing but the best.
>
> She also loved the 3rd boyfriend very much and was always
> ipinapakita him off
> to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one
> araw he would leave
> her for another.
>
> She also loved her 2nd boyfriend. He was her confidant and
> was always kind,
> considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced...
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1. Every araw at school is the same
2. You never know if your braids look digusting or not
3. You are so used to never talking that if somebody says something to you, never know how to react
4. You would like to think that people notice or even think about you but you are really just the big ugly quiet black girl nobody knows or cares about
5. You worry people will write nasty comments on your fanpop artikulo that is obvioustly meant to vent your feeling out
6. On the weekend all you do is watch tv and sleep and play with your cat
7. When you only really have like 3 mga kaibigan at school and 2 of them...
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474 Things To Do When You're Bored


- Wax the ceiling
- Rearrange political campaign signs
- Sharpen your teeth
- Play Houdini with one of your siblings
- Braid your dog's hair
- Clean and polish your belly button
- Water your dog...see if he grows
- Wash a tree
- Knight yourself
- Name your child Edsel
- Scare Stephen King
- Give your cat a mohawk
- Purr
- Mow your carpet
- Play Pat Boone records backwards
- Vacuum your lawn
- Sleep on a kama of nails
- DON'T toss and turn
- Boil ice cream
- Run around in squares
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your unan X-rayed
- Drink straight shots...of...
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1. Turn to a stranger and sing a walang tiyak na layunin song
2. When your on a floor someone wants to get off on make sure they don't get off
3. Say in a new jersey accent "I told my daughter not to give the dog coffee. What does she do? She gives the dog coffee! Now i've got a dead dog! A dumb daughter! And no coffee!"
4. If your with a friend, and there are madami people start a annoying conversation. (I did this one time and all the people in the elevator turned to me, someone even sinabi shut up XD)
5. Pretend your driving in a car, and make motor sounds
6. Whisper into a strangers ear "I am a parol officer! Respect...
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