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posted by TheRealSexyKate
1
1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race. 

3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf. 

4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to...... 

5. Ask if you can see his gun. 

6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger. 

7. Touch him. 

8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat. 

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat. 

10. Refer to him sa pamamagitan ng his first name. 

11. Pretend you...
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1. Go to a aisle (any aisle) pick up a item and say "gosh, WHO buys this stuff?!"
2. When someone takes a item off the shelf point at him/her and scream "(gasp) you estola that from me!"
3. Take fruits that are round, and start rolling them down the aisle
4. Go up to someone who works at the store and ask "um can you tell me where I can get some headphones for my IPod?" and see his reaction
5. Take a walang tiyak na layunin shopping kariton and push it into a wall, or shelf
6. Go to the eggs, make sure you have friends,and start throwing eggs at each other
7. Fake that your arm is broken and scream and wail
8. Go to the...
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posted by werewolflover
4
Yeah,this is the first artikulo I've written,so it probably won't be good.
O.K I have a 7 taon old niece and she might not seem evil,but trust me she is.If you met her you'd think she was a sweet,little angel
Her mom,my sis Heather,got married a few years ago.Well the man she married had 2 kids.Ever since she lived with them,she's been evil.
She tells my mom No
She tells us she hates us.She thinks she's the boss.She hits me and then says I hit her first(i'm old enough to know you don't hit when you don't get what you want)She calls me fat.she can't take a joke and then says im fat and don't "play"because I don't like being outside and hate sports.There's madami but I don't really want to write anymore.Tell me what you think in comments please:)
added by 050801090907
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added by 050801090907
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added by sakurahanazono
added by vanillaicecream
I decided to write an artikulo because some kamakailan news was seriously pissing me off. (Actually my friend inspired me.)

This is an artikulo about misconceptions on First Nations and Native Americans. I decided to ipakita everyone how some of their ideals on native people are WRONG. (mostly in Canada, I don't know what goes on in America...)

I've had people ask me crazy things, and assume really STUPID things about natives that quite frankly are not true. How do I know? I'm a full native who's lived on a reservation her whole life. That's how.

If you comment on something you believe is true, then...
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posted by Bananaaddict
14
This listahan was emailed to me. I thought some of them were pretty clever, so I decided to post it. My favorites are 3, 5, 22, and 23! Enjoy. :)

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round mesa was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth...
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added by edwardcarlisle
Source: did-you-kno
added by alicegirl309
1
added by soulfire524
posted by hakadoshi12345
4
Egypt: -Slaps haka-

Egypt: T//T

Haka~: O_O

Yuki/Midna: HEY! What'd she do to you?

Soda: WHOA WHOA WHOA

Soda: -ties egypt to a basketbol net-

Soda: WTF IS GOING ON HERE

Haka~: I didnt touch you! I touched...

Haka~: Soda o.o

Egypt: SHE estola MY LAST COCONUT!

Egypt: AND SHE ABUSED MY CAKE

Egypt: AND ME AND MY HUSBAND

Egypt: AND MY WHEAT

Egypt: AND MY WEED

Egypt: AND SHE ROBBED MY HOUSE OF MY LOAN

Egypt: SHE TiED UP THE NARUTO FiXER!

Soda: (Is she seriously freaking out or is this another strange RP?)

Egypt: She ATE SUGAR iNSTEAD OF WHEAT!

Yuki/Midna: Haka didn't do anything.

Yuki/Midna: (I have no idea.)

Egypt:...
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posted by saphire1031
10
The history of Canada: Chapter 1

PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!PIE!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!COOKIES!!!!Pudding...
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1. Take someone's shopping kariton and switch the items with stuff from the person susunod to them's cart
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of you on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person was trying to take your _____
6. ilipat "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
7. Hide...
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10. At the bottom of an escalator, scream "MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!"

9. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on the back of your knuckles permed.

8. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.

7. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke. (Also repeat using Squirty Cheese, A apoy Extinguisher or Mace if desired.)

6. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.

5. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.

4. Hand...
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