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posted by tokidoki123
[The Simpsons] 1F02 - Homer Goes To College #255
Homer: I've been working on a plan. During the exam, I'll hide under some coats, and hope that somehow everything will work out.
Contributed sa pamamagitan ng funnytvquotes.com



[The Simpsons] 1F05 - Bart's Inner Child #32
Skinner: Damn...they're very slowly getting away!
Moe: They're heading for the old mill!
Homer: No we're not.
Moe: Well, let's go to the old mill anyway -- get some cider!
Contributed sa pamamagitan ng funnytvquotes.com



[The Simpsons] 1F06 - Boy Scoutz 'N the hood #86
Homer: Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what...
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What Color Of Socks Are You Wearing?

Red = Loud
Green = Stupid
None = Freaky
Fuzzy = Gorgeous
Yellow = Innocent
Purple = A Little Too Happy
Black = Emo
Stripes = Funny
Gray = Ugly.
kulay-rosas = Preppy
Light Blue = Sweaty
Other = Hot
White = Sexy


What Kind Of Pants Are You Wearing?
Shorts = Cutie
Skirt/Skort = Cheerleader
Corduroy = Weirdo
Tight Jeans = Scene Kid
Ripped Jeans = Emo
Cammo = Cage Fighter
Jeans = Prep .
Pajamas = Creep
Cargo = Clown
Sweats = Athlete
Boxers = Brat
Booty Shorts = Female
Capris = Gangster
Nothing = Dare-Devil
Dickies = Weirdo
Bikini Bottoms = Tiki Girl
Other = Drug Addict


What Is Your Natural...
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posted by bizeshnakarki
I got it somewhere n thought i should share it.

101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with mga kaibigan in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours sa pamamagitan ng hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all...
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posted by Usui--takumi
I'm Against death penalty. Looking at the death penalty system in action, you realize that the only purpose it serves is retribution or revenge, it is seriously (and intrinsically) flawed in application and that there is a serious and continuing risk of executing innocent people. And, it costs much madami than life in prison.
130 people wrong fully convicted people were sentenced to death and were lucky to be exonerated and released, eventually. DNA, available in less than 10% of all homicides, can’t guarantee we won’t execute innocent people. If someone is convicted and later found innocent...
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posted by someone_save_me
Beauty is our weapon against nature; sa pamamagitan ng it we make objects, giving them limit, symmetry, proportion. Beauty halts and freezes the melting flux of nature.
Camille Paglia

Break a vase, and the pag-ibig that reassembles the fragments is stronger than that pag-ibig which took its symmetry for granted when it was whole.
Derek Walcott

Guided only sa pamamagitan ng their feeling for symmetry, simplicity, and generality, and an indefinable sense of the fitness of things, creative mathematicians now, as in the past, are inspired sa pamamagitan ng the art of mathematics rather than sa pamamagitan ng any prospect of ultimate usefulness.
E. T. kampanilya

I don't...
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First off, this is not made to offend anyone! If your offended sa pamamagitan ng this then I apoligize. Anyway these are the most horrible shows I have ever seen! If you have a reason for a ipakita I put comment and I might add it(ill give credit about it to you because its your idea :D) Anyway sorry for all this long pagbaba right here but here we go:
(Cartoon Network)
-(from commercial)Secret Mountain Fort Awesome:
1.Characters are even uglier then the "Problem Solvers" characters who are pretty god damn ugly!
2.From the looks on the commercial, it seems like it has no good things that will happen or any interesting...
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1. Turn to a stranger and sing a walang tiyak na layunin song
2. When your on a floor someone wants to get off on make sure they don't get off
3. Say in a new jersey accent "I told my daughter not to give the dog coffee. What does she do? She gives the dog coffee! Now i've got a dead dog! A dumb daughter! And no coffee!"
4. If your with a friend, and there are madami people start a annoying conversation. (I did this one time and all the people in the elevator turned to me, someone even sinabi shut up XD)
5. Pretend your driving in a car, and make motor sounds
6. Whisper into a strangers ear "I am a parol officer! Respect...
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posted by bubbletl
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal sa pamamagitan ng conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything...
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posted by evangelinetom
101 Ways to
Annoy Your Roomate

1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the kama holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.

2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors sa pamamagitan ng your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.

3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep...
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posted by energizerbunny
5. Avril Lavigne

Not a tagahanga but she's so skinny!! I've never been skinny in my whole life and will never be.

4. Sophia Bush

She's pretty. She has boobs & a butt, but is not big.

3. Kaya Scodelario

Again with the skinniness. I don't think skinny is all there is, but for someone like me who's never been skinny, it's seems nice! She also has a unique face and her eyes are gorgeous!

2. Katie Cassidy

This girl is just so GORGEOUS!! And looks so classy when she dresses up.

1. Megan Fox

Not a tagahanga but she has to be the DEFINITION of PERFECT! PERFECT face, PERFECT body, just PERFECT!!


Some people are just lucky I guess. <33
posted by Tamar20
Have you ever wanted to annoy someone so bad that they want to kill you? Then this artikulo is right for you! Hahaha. You know I've tried most of them and it does work. :P

1. Use potty humor. Announce to them that you have to go to the bathroom, and that you think that they should go too, as they have been holding it in for quite a while. When they do go to the bathroom, call out to them things like: "Are you doing okay in there?". To make it even madami annoying, if there are other people in the bathroom, proudly announce to them: "My friend is in there," pointing at the bathroom stall. When you...
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I was scrolling across deviantART, and came across this HIGHLY shocking news that everyone needs to know about right now!

We all know about copyright infringement and the numerous laws preventing us from using copyrighted material. Some sites and companies take these things very seriously if you do not have permission from sinabi company. But there are sites and companies that's only ask that you give credit where credit is due. Thankfully like DA.

Now, over the past few days I have just been strolling thru the Internet, visiting some of my fav sites to chill on, and every site has been posting...
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..... walang tiyak na layunin Facts .....

If you have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the lincoln Memorial.


President Kennedy was the fastest walang tiyak na layunin speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.


In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.


Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.


The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties...
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posted by chattycandy
Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.

Guys hate flirts.

A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.

When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

"Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual tanong a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.

Guys may be flirting around all araw but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics....
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posted by lloonny
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a puso attack. His puso isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on apoy with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....
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posted by x-menobsessed26
Useful Hawaiian Phrases
On the Plane
My how your perfume fills the entire cabin!
'A'ala maoli keia wahi o kakou i kau wai 'ala kuikawa!


If I snore, I would like to apologize in advance
Ke nono au, e kala mua mai, i keia manawa ho'i.


I am filled with admiration for my in-flight meal
Kahaha ko'u na'au i ke 'ano o ka mea 'ai ma keia mokulele.


Only six dollars for a headset? Why thats only three dollars per ear!
Eono kala no ka ho'olohe lekio? 'O ia ho'i, 'ekolu wale no kala o kahi pepeiao!


Baby, Severe Turbulance is my middle name
E ku'u kumu e, mai hopohopo, ua kapa 'ia ko'u inoa waena, 'o ia 'o Severe...
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posted by yukikiyruu
Sleeping Beauty: Perfect for the sleepyheads.
Dolly Wholly: This name is perfect for the well-dressed girl.
Honey Bunny: Ideal for your playful girlfriend.
Cutsie Wootsie: This cute name is excellent to say when you are pinching her cheeks with both hands.
Pretty Eyes: If your girlfriend has crystal-clear, beautiful eyes, then you may call her sa pamamagitan ng this cute name.
Princess: It is a perfect name for your girlfriend, if she has that little girl spirit.
Pumpkin: This name can be used for casual moments.
Doll Face: This name is perfect for a girl with a cute face.
Beautiful: It is a simple but effective...
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posted by happyfreak
A friend of mine has another friend that is addicted to meth. She found this and gave it to her friend. She then gave me a copy because she sinabi it was sad and cared enough to let me know what meth is and does.

This poem was written sa pamamagitan ng a young Indiana girl who was in jail for drug charges, and was addicted to Meth. She wrote this while in jail. As you will soon read, she fully grasped the horrors of the drug, as she tells in this simple, yet profound poem. She was released from jail, but, true to her story, the drug owned her. They found her dead not long after, with the needle still in her...
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If you have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the lincoln Memorial.

President Kennedy was the fastest walang tiyak na layunin speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.

In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.

Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once...
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posted by cute20k
Do you have a dirty mind?

1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?







A dentist

2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?






A wedding ring

3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?






Peanut butter

4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard . What am I?






Chewing gum

5. All araw long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?






An elevator

6. I...
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