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posted by australia-101
37 Rude & Crude Pick-up Lines
1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.
2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
4. You've got 206 Buto in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted kama Thrasher: have you seen one?
8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can...
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posted by IloveMyLord
Remember, you don't forgive someone for his or her sake - you forgive them for your sake. (On a side note, I just read that as "sake", the drink. I think that means it's time for me to get some sushi.)

Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting, nor does it mean that you've ibingiay the message that what someone did was okay. It just means that you've let go of the anger or guilt towards someone, or towards yourself. But that can be easier sinabi than done. If forgiveness was easy, everyone would be doing it.



"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition sa pamamagitan ng an emotional...
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Okay if someone already made this sorry but I didn't check!So didn't be a asong babae or a dick which ever gender you are!



1.Hang out with friends
2.Make sure your cell phone still works so you can call people,text,sext,and play video games
3.Have a video game station
4.Play video games
5.have a computer!
6.Have the internet
7.Have a television
8.Have the remote to it
9.Have cable to it as well(play your bill yah broke loser)
10.Play out side
11.Have mga kaibigan to play out side with
12.Draw all day!
13.Prank call people
14.Obesse over something then a taon later get bored
15.Read!-sike real 15.F*ck reading
16.Sleep...
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posted by JustinDrew_B
[Intro]
Rack rack city asong babae [repeat]
Mugga on the beat

[Verse 1]
Rack city asong babae Rack Rack city bitch
Ten ten ten twenties on ya titties bitch
100 deep V.I.P. no guest list
T-Raw you don't know who you fucking wit?
Got my other asong babae fucking wit my other bitch
Fucking all night nigga we ain't celibate
Make it sound too dope I ain't selling it
Bar fresher than a motherfucking peppermint
Gold leather man last king killing shit
Young money young money yeah we getting rich
Get ya grandma on my dick (ha ha)
Girl you know what it is

[Hook x2]
Rack city asong babae Rack Rack city asong babae [x3]
Ten ten ten twenties and them...
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posted by bizeshnakarki
I got it somewhere n thought i should share it.

101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with mga kaibigan in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours sa pamamagitan ng hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all...
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posted by samuraibond005
I find homework to be arrogant and inefficient. Schools think they are so important that they can dictate whether or not the kid can have time after school for other, also important things. yeah, we learned all this in class and some kids didn't get it, but first of all, it is not like nobody else in the class understood it, segundo of all, they won’t get it any better without a teacher to help, and third of all, if they care enough to get anything out of their education anyway, they will ask somebody for help.
Of course, there are classes in which homework makes sense, such as my AP world...
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posted by percyLover101
"You know what your useless!!! Get out of here!! I can't stand to look at you anymore!!!", My mother yelled as I ran out the back door of our house, tears streaming down my face. My feet ran as far as they could until, on got caught on a rock and I landed face first into a dirt plot. Slowly I dragged myself to a nearby puno and leaned against it.

"Useless.... How am i useless....", i thought to myself. It all just happened so quickly... The words just spilled out of my mother's mouth.... This is what had happened..

"I'm going to go across the kalye to help Grandma Ofelia with her groceries.......
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posted by evangelinetom
101 Ways to
Annoy Your Roomate

1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the kama holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.

2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors sa pamamagitan ng your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.

3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep...
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posted by LittleOtaku1
Kakuzu: gettin tired?
Hidan: fuck yah...
Kakuzu: dont yawn
Kakuzu: yawn
Hidan: ....
Kakuzu: dont yawn...
Hidan: ..........
Hidan: yawn
Hidan: FUCK!!
Kakuzu: HA!! i knew you would yawn!
Hidan: your an asshole. *sticks up middle finger*
Kakuzu: yah, i know.
Kakuzu: and i dont give a shit :D
Hidan: t(-_-t)
Kakuzu: ...


it needs to be longer, so
hjdsg,j jbcnhdlc,jwfm,lwqsdwreflgkme4rjbvdhmfnjhdfebnc djns ewljsdiorenfnjgfvgcnjmhnhvjunm cvmdn vkyhkgmvc hfdshudbvj jcnvcj jncvn inwxmjjgmvmrkdnfjj vhnjjdmncnfjcnbcven.blgj njmnjvfm jvdjscnvbcnjcbhjf
posted by emilyroxx
Okay, so everyone probably knows that Google has this thing where it tries to guess what
you’re searching sa pamamagitan ng picking the most searched entries. Some of them are
kind of ridiculous, so I decided to have some fun with it. I typed in
“Are there,” closed my eyes, and picked a walang tiyak na layunin letter of the alphabet.
Here were the results, and my answers:


First, I just put the results for “Are there.”

Are there aliens?
I think so.
Are there snakes in Ireland?
What do you mean are there snakes in Ireland?
Are there mga tigre in Africa?
Probably.
Are there snakes in Hawaii?
There are probably going to be snakes...
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posted by yukikiyruu
How To Know If a Girl Likes You – Clichés

Here are some of the signs that have been popularized over the years as ‘ surefire ways to know whether a girl likes you’. Some of these might seem a bit silly, although people claim to these to work; I personally think these are not applicable to every girl that you meet. Making inferences about a girl’s feelings merely sa pamamagitan ng the way she looks at you or sa pamamagitan ng the ways she flutters her eyes might seem very romantic and mushy, just like they ipakita it in the movies, but again, if only things shown in the romantic chick flicks would come true, life would’ve...
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posted by TruBerries
**Before I begin, I would like to say that I'm Pagsulat this out of experience so y'all don't be thinking that I'm guessing, putting other people down who did or are doing this, or that I'm being absolutely rude about it, which I'm not.**

In everyone's life, we all want someone that we want to have, hold, and pag-ibig and never having that feeling of ever being alone for the rest of our lives. We all know that it takes time and patience, but the thing about it is that there's people out there that jump head first into generating a relationship out of thin air with someone he/she has just met online....
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posted by JoannaVonDoom
Im sorry if this has been posted before
If not, do not give me credit


1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with mga kaibigan in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours sa pamamagitan ng hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat...
continue reading...
posted by coolkatstar
Below are 4 questions. Answer them instantly. You can't take your time. Answer them immediately. No pencil or paper! OK?

Let's find out just how smart and clever you really are.

Ready? ...

GO!!!


FIRST QUESTION: You are participating in a race. You overtake the segundo person. What position are you in?
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-

ANSWER: If you answer that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the segundo person and you take his place, you are second! Try not to screw up in the susunod question.

To answer the segundo question, don't take as much
time as you took for the first question.

SECOND...
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posted by cute20k
Here are the signs:

1. Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.

2. Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL".

3. You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.

4. You have called out someone's screen name while making pag-ibig to your significant other.

5. You keep begging your mga kaibigan to get an account so "we can hang out".

6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

7. You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet some folks face-to- face.

8. You have to get a 2d phone line just so you can call pizza Hut.

9. You go into labour and you stop to type a special e-mail to let everyone know you're...
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posted by cutiegirl01
1. Pretend that your mesa is a drum and ur pencils are drum sticks.

2. Randomly hypervenlate out of no where.

3. when ur teacher asks if there are an questains on the testhomework shout out 'WHAT'S THE ANSWER TO # 10!'

4. break your pencil on purpse in front of them when there talking then get up and sharpen it.

5. If they ask you to guess theyre age (no they wont) guess 10 years older then u really think.

6. On ur paper write a walang tiyak na layunin taon and someone elses name and write ur name on a smart kids.

7. Talk to people u hate in class constently then when they tell u to stup up say 'they're bugging me!'...
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Dear Noah, We could've sworn you sinabi the ark wasn't leaving until 5. Sincerely, the Unicorns.

---

Airlines have banned passengers from taking tweezers on board... Anybody who can hijack a plane using a set of tweezers deserves the freakin plane.

---

The guy who puts down Aso at animal shelters must not get alot of women. "And what do you do for a living?" "...I kill puppies."

---

Do you know what happens to 100% of people who eat carrots? THEY DIE.

---

The worst time to have a puso attack is during a game of charades.

---

You cannot bring sexy back without a receipt.

---

"Want to play the rape game?"...
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posted by karpach_13
101 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minuto intervals
throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get
to sumali in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department sa pamamagitan ng sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are...
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25 REASONS WHY I OWE MY MOTHER


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .


"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.


"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .


"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of susunod week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.


" Because I sinabi so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me madami LOGIC .


"If you fall out of that ugoy and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.


"Make sure...
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posted by BellaCullen96
Sorry, officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
I thought you had to be in relatively good shape to be a police officer.
You know, I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
Bad cop! No doughnut!
You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
Didn't I see you get your butt kicked last week on "Cops?"
Wow, you look like the guy in the picture susunod to my girlfriend's bed.
I bet you I can grab that gun before you finish Pagsulat my ticket.
So, you on the take, or what?
Aren't you the guy from the village people?
Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just...
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