Ranma 1/2 Club
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Disclaimer: I’m not Rumiko Takahashi, and I neither own Ranma ½ nor some song lyrics in this story.
000
It was one araw before New taon arrived. At the Tendos’ living room…

“Hello! Is anybody home? You’ve got mail!” – A postman knocked the door.

“I’ll get it.” – sinabi Ranma. The postman gave him a yellow poster that said: “You are welcomed to our Royal New taon party tonight at our restaurant! There is going to be delicious food, great games for guests, wonderful New taon Countdown, etc, and the most amazing…
OUR EXCITING pag-awit CONTEST!!!
THE WINNER RECEIVES A LOVELY PRIZE!”

“Hmm… A lovely prize for the winner huh…” – Ranma speaks to himself. – “I wonder what it is…”
Suddenly, a voice came out from upstairs: “Whoa! It looks great on you indeed, Akane!”

“Hey!” – Shouted Ranma. – “What’s going on?”

“Hmm… Ranma…” – Akane – in her brand new cute blue dress – appeared behind him. – “I got an invitation to a New taon party at the restaurant nearby, so… What do you think? Do I look good?”

“Hmm… You look so…” – Answered Ranma. – “…”

“UNCUUUUUUUTE!!!!!!!!”

SLAM!

“Ouch.” – sinabi Ranma, after being hit sa pamamagitan ng Akane with a tsaa table.

“Humph.”

Ranma stood up and took a real close look at Akane. And suddenly, his sight stopped at her chest.

“Hey Ranma! What are you looking at?” – Asked Akane.

“Nothing… It’s just… Where did you get that little badge?” – Ranma asked and pointed at her blue heart-shaped badge.

“If you want to know, Ryoga-kun bought it for me!” – Akane replied. – “What do you say about it?”

“UUUUURRRRGGGHHH… that little idiot Ryoga… He bought Akane… a HEART-SHAPED badge!!!” – Thought Ranma. He replied: “Well… it’s nice… It goes great with your dress…”

“Really? Thank you, Ranma!” – Akane smiled.

“KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!”

“Oh. I’ll get it!” – sinabi Akane.

“Ohh, nihao Ranma!” – Shampoo in a pretty red Chinese-styled dress arrived with a big gift box on her hands. – “Shampoo have New taon gift for you!”

“Th… thank you.” – Replied Ranma. – “Says, what’s with the dress up there?”

“Aiyaaa! I wear beautiful dress because I going to New taon party at the restaurant nearby! Ranma take me there yes?”

“Hey!!!” – Akane sinabi angrily.

“Ranma open gift now yes?”

“Okay…” – Ranma carefully opened the gift box. There was a lovely black tuxedo in it.

“Ranma put tux on and take me to party yes?”

“I’ll think about it.” – Replied Ranma.

“By the way Ranma, there going to be pag-awit contest at the party! Winner receive a free trip to…”

“To China, right? Yes!… Then I can get a cure for this crazy curse! I’m putting on my tux right away, Shampoo!” – Ranma sinabi in excitement.

“I no remember. I guess it is to China.” – sinabi Shampoo. – “Oh! Ranma! Hurry up and take me to party!”

SPLASH!!!

“Akaneeee…!!! What was the big idea??!!!!” – Shouted Ranma in female form.

“I’m sorry Ranma, but we’re out of hot water!” – sinabi Akane.

“Aiyaaa… That mean Ranma no can wear tux?” – Shampoo sinabi in disappointment.

“Hmm, this should be easy. Watch this… Ta-da!” – Ranma put on an kahel dress within a few seconds. – “I’m not sure I can sing well, but I may win the contest with my cuteness!”

“Ranma, you are a jerk…” – Grunted Akane. – “Hey Shampoo, I think I’m starting to doubt about this… What if the whole thing is one of Mousse’s evil schemes on stealing you back from Ranma? Seriously.”

“Aiyaaa! It no is mousse plan! He gone back to China for training!” – Answered Shampoo.

“Oh, thank goodness…” – sinabi Ranma. Suddenly, a strange masked man appeared behind them: “Who sinabi that?”

“Okay… Who are you?” – Asked Ranma.

“I am…” – The man took off his mask. – “You still remember Mousse, don’t you? He hasn’t gone back to China for training. He is standing right here in front of you, and he was on the ceiling for the whole time! He heard that the three of you are going to a New taon party, and Shampoo, it’ll be a pleasure for this man to escort you there…” – While saying, mousse opened his arms and hugged Ranma.

“Put your glasses on, idiot!” – Ranma whacked mousse on the head with one of her shoes. –
“Shampoo is on your left!”

“Oh… Shampoo, forgive me.” – mousse sinabi after putting on his glasses.

“Shampoo no want forgive stupid Mousse.” – Shampoo sinabi in anger.

“Hey, there is a good news for you, silly pato boy.” – sinabi Ranma. – “There is a pag-awit contest at the party tonight, and the winner gets a free trip to China. Do you wanna cure your curse?”

“Yes, I do! If I win, I will never have to turn into a pato again! Yeah!!” – mousse shouted out loud in excitement.

“But wait!” – sinabi Akane. – “Are you sure you can sing? It’s a pag-awit contest, my friend.”

“Yes I am. Let me try.” – He took a deep breath and began. – “WE WIIIISH… YOUU… A MERRY CHRISTMAAAAAAS!!! WE WISH YOUUUU A MERRYYYYY CHRIIIIIIIISTMAS!!! WEEE… WISH YOU A MEEEEERRY CHRISTMAS!!! And a Happy… NEEEEEWWW…
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR!!!”

Bam!

“Oh my god… Akane fainted! Shampoo, give me a cup of water!” – Ranma sinabi in panic.

“HEY!” – Shampoo furiously shouted. – “Mousse cut it out!!!! You break our ear!!!”

“Tell me about it.” – Ranma agreed. – “How can you cure your pato curse if you SOUND like a pato yourself? Hahaha…”

“Ranma… How dare you…” – mousse took out dozens of daggers from his sleeves.

“Stop it! Shampoo sing better than Mousse! I can win the contest!” – Replied Shampoo.

“Prove it.” – sinabi Akane.

“Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way! Oh what fun it is tonight in a one-horse open sleigh! Hey! Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! Jingle all the way! Oh what fun it is tonight in a one-horse open sleigh!” – Shampoo sang with such a sweet high-pitched voice.

“Bravo! Bravo! That’s a nice performance!” – Ranma excitedly gave an applause.

“Hey Shampoo, why don’t you think that I can sing better than you?” – Akane sinabi after hitting Ranma with a tsaa table.

“Akane prove it!” – Replied Shampoo.

“Happy New Year, Happy New Year! May we all have a vision now and then, of the world where every neighbor is a friend… Happy New Year, Happy New Year! May we all have our hopes, our will to try… If we don’t, we might as well lay down and die…” – Akane suddenly stopped and pointed at Ranma on the floor. – “Like that BAKA!!!!”

“Hmm… It sure is great… You do have a beautiful voice, Akane!” – sinabi Mousse.

“Huh. I challenge you, Akane!” – sinabi Shampoo.

“Oh, I accept!” – Replied Akane. – “What are you waiting for? LET’S FIGHT!!!!”

“This is too idiotic. Come on Mousse, or we’ll be late for the party!” – sinabi Ranma, as she and mousse left the house.

“Ranma wait for me!!!” – Yelled Shampoo.

“Huh. Go with your beloved husband. I don’t care.” – sinabi Akane.

“Aiyaaa! Akane want defeat me in pag-awit contest yes?” – Replied Shampoo.

“Okay… I’m going…” – Answered Akane.

oOo

As the group went down the street, they heard a strange voice singing: “I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas, I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas, I wanna wish you a Merry pasko from the bottom of my heart! Oh, is that Akane Tendo? Along with the beautiful Pigtailed Girl? Oh my sweethearts, I shall escort you two to the Royal New taon party!”

“It’s Kuno… Don’t mind everyone, just act as if he were not here!” – sinabi Akane, and all four of them just kept their head down. Suddenly…

“Pigtailed Girl! I pag-ibig you so much! I want you to come with me to the par…”

“EEEK! He hugged me from behind!!” – Screamed Ranma. She kicked him hard in the face. – “What do you want, you jerk Kuno?!!”

“I want to have a petsa with my beautiful ladies!” – Kuno replied in tears.

“You... you…” – Ranma almost kicked him again and suddenly changed her voice: “Heyyy, Kuno-sembai! You wanna have a petsa with me, right? If you beat me in a pag-awit challenge, I promise I’ll go out with you! If you lose…”

“You’ll leave in PEACE and in PIECES!” – sinabi Akane.

“Why don’t you go first, Kuno-darling?” – Asked Ranma.

“Okay, here I go. Feliz Navidad…” – Kuno began singing. Meanwhile, Akane, Ranma, Shampoo and mousse silently walked away.

“Phew. Luckily we run away. Kuno worse singer than Mousse!” – Shampoo breathed hardly.

“Tell me about it. He totally broke my ears!” – mousse agreed.

“Just run away before Kuno finds out, guys.” – sinabi Akane, and the group ran as fast as they can.
As the pack continued their walk, they heard a strange voice again: “La la la la, la la la la, la la la la…”

“I heard that extremely high voice somewhere… Uh-oh, Kodachi Kuno is coming! What are we gonna do?” – Ranma confusedly asked.

“I know! Guys, cover your ears! Mousse, sing right now!” – sinabi Akane.

“Okay, if you insist. Ahem… WEE… WIIIIISH…”

“AAAAHHH!!! What is that HOOOORIBLE sound! Oh, it is killing me! HEEELP ME, RANMA-SAMA, IF YOU CAN HEAR ME FROM HERE!! AAAAHHH!!” – Kodachi screamed and fainted.

“Thanks a lot, pal.” – Ranma smiled.

“Get serious, guys. Do I sing that badly?” – Asked Mousse.

“No. Not at all.” – Ranma replied, while she was thinking: “Oh man, I swear his voice sounds like a horn!”

They continued walking down the kalye and encountered Mikado Sanzenin and Azusa Shiratori.

“Oh, is that the beautiful Ranma Saotome? Oh, my lovely girl, I shall give you a Happy New taon halik for tonight!” – Sanzenin sinabi as he began to get his lips closer to Ranma’s.

“JERK! Who sinabi that you can halik me?!” – Ranma punched Sanzenin right in the left eye. – “Leave us alone!”. Meanwhile, Azusa takes a close look at mousse and finally climbed up on his back.

“Aahh! So cute! Olivia! Olivia! Give me my Olivia! GIMME! GIMME! GIMME!” – Azusa took out her hammer and smacked Mousse’s head at every “GIMME!”. Well, you know, she wanted Mousse’s glasses – which she calls “Olivia” – and tried to take them off from his forehead.

“Spoiled brat!” – Shampoo angrily shouted as she knocked Azusa off from Mousse’s back. – “Why you mess with Mousse?”

“Shampoo! You’re finally worried about me!” – Cried Mousse.

“The legendary Golden Pair.” – sinabi Akane. – “I challenge you! If you want to mess with us, you must beat us in a pag-awit challenge right now! We will go first! Start now, guys!”

“Silent night, Holy night…”

“Huh. You guys are such amateurs!” – sinabi Azusa.

“Listen carefully, losers.” – Sanzenin smiled as if he won. And then, the pair began: “... Oh what fun it is tonight in a one-horse open sleigh!!!”

“That was… perfect!” – Ranma sinabi in disappointment.

“Aiyaa! What we do now?” – Shampoo confusedly asked.

“Hey! There’s a lovely little bird!” – Ranma pointed to the sky.

“Where? Where? Where’s the bird? I WANT MY HANNAH!! AAAHHH!!!” – Azusa began to cry.

“Let’s go, guys.” – Akane sinabi and the pack walked away in peace.

oOo

The Royal New taon party at Sakura restaurant.

“And now, ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for our pag-awit contest!” – sinabi the host.

“Okay guys. Who’s gonna do this?” – Asked Akane.

“Mousse, if you go there, I splash you!” – Shampoo threatened mousse and said: “I want compete!”

“Hmm… I think I’ll let Ranma do this. This “winning a trip to China” thing is all HIS idea, so I’ll let him compete using his “cuteness”. Let’s see if that idiot wins…” – Akane pushed Ranma onto the stage.

“That girl is so cute!”

“So lovely!”

“I’m cheering hard for you, Pigtailed Girl!”

“Eh? Kuno? What is that jerk doing here?” – Thought Ranma.

“So, what’s your name?” – The host asked her.

“Um… I’m Ranma Saotome.” – Replied Ranma.

“Ladies and gentlemen, lovely Ranma Saotome here is going to give us a great performance! A big applause please!!!”

“Woo-hoo! Go Pigtailed Girl!” – Kuno’s shout must be the loudest one of all, and that gives Ranma a thought: “Yeah, if I win the contest, I can go to China and get rid of this stupid curse, and there would be no madami “Pigtailed Girl”! I can do this! I CAN DO THIS!!!”

And here we go, Ranma began her performance:

“Happy New Year! Happy New Year! May we all have a vision now and then, of the world where every neighbor is a friend… Happy New Year! Happy New Year! May we all have our hopes, our will to try… If we don’t, we might as well lay down and die…
You and I!
And I!”

“Great job!”

“Such a sweet singer, don’t you think?”

“I think she’ll win the contest for sure!”



“Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the pag-awit contest tonight is… Ranma Saotome!!!”

“Oh my god… am I dreaming? Akane, slap me!” – sinabi Ranma.

SLAP!

“Hee hee! No, you’re not!” – Akane giggled after slapping Ranma’s right cheek really hard.

“Akane, you’re so uncute!” – Ranma replied. Akane slapped her other cheek.

“I’m not a pato any more… La la la…”

“Aiyaaa! mousse begin singing! Ranma, cover his mouth! ” – sinabi Shampoo.

“Heyyy… What is the meaning of this?!” – mousse angrily sinabi with his mouth covered sa pamamagitan ng Ranma. Akane and Shampoo burst laughed.

“And the winner received a trip to…”

oOo

“RANMAAAAA!!! YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR THIS!!!” – mousse furiously shouted and sneezed: “Ah choo!!! What are we going to do?”

“Ranma, what the meaning of this?” - Shampoo also angrily asked.

“Forggg… give me, gggg… guys!” – Ranma shook under the freezing cold wind and snow. – “I didn’t knnnnn… now that th… th.. ah choo! This was a trip to… to… MOSCOW!!!!!”

“Ranma…” – Akane shook under fury. – “RANMA NO BAKAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!”

“Aahh!!! AKANEEEEE!!! St… t… tuktok it, would you! Ah CHOOOOOO!!!”

***The End***
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