kasarian at sekswalidad The Tough tanong

Cinders posted on Feb 25, 2009 at 07:41AM
Ask the fanpop community what you're afraid to ask your parents and/or peers. We're here for you. The topic is sex, and it's an open forum. No one will judge you for anything you say, so take the floor and ask away. :o)

kasarian at sekswalidad 18 ang sumagot

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sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas marissa said…
All right, I've got one:
I just turned 18 and I'm still a virgin. Is this weird? Most of my friends lost their virginity ages ago and I feel like once I make it into university (just got accepted!!) being a virgin won't be as normal as it is in high school.
Don't worry, I'm not about to rush into anything, but I just want to know whether or not this is "normal", you know?
Anyways, thanks guys :)
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas vider69 said…
smile
A lot of girls and guys seem to be losing it a lot later these days, 'their virginity that is' you'll work it out when the right person and the right time arises and it's not weird at all, and if people bag you for it, well maybe they are jealous, it's better than rushing into something you'll regret later, I hope that helps. Cheers.
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Cinders said…
Exactly. If you notice the virginity pick, Cammie (hope she doesn't mind me using her as an example) didn't loser her virginity until she was 22, and I turned 21 today and am still a virgin in college. The media makes it look like everyone loses their virginity in college, which is not necessarily the case. For me, the only time I really dated was in high school, and at the time I didn't feel ready. Unfortunately, now I feel mature enough to handle it, but I'm not dating anyone. Still, I'm glad that I've waited, because the timing would have been wrong if I did it earlier.

Everyone matures at a different age. The same goes for maturing sexually. I know a girl who had sex at sixteen and doesn't regret it one bit, because that was when she was ready. I know it sounds lame, but I guess the point is just do it when you're ready. There are a lot more virgins in college than you may think. ;o)
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas vider69 said…
smile
I fully agree, I lost mine at almost sixteen 'whore' lol, but I don't regret it, I stayed with the guy for six years after that and most of my relationships have been long term, I'm divorced, single and loving it, but I'm just enjoying life now, and I've got a friend with benefits, ha, ha.
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas DemonicAngel08 said…
I don't think that's weird, in fact I have a lot of respect for anyone who realises that losing their virginity is a special moment and know not to rush into anything. You are normal and when the time is right for you, you'll know it and be able to look back and have no regrets. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks anyway, what's right for you is all that matters. xXx
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas SexyChase77 said…
worried
yeah I'm only at the start of hischool but all my friends and teachers think I'm like 16-18 (Im turning 14)caz i look feel and act 16-18 and well the whole sex thing I'm just not seeing anyone and yeah the guy i do like is bi and is experimenting with a another guy and hes like my best friend i don't wanna destroy our friendship and f**k i want him I'm bi too and some time's it seems hes more interested in video games that people but i love him for it but im the only one who knows about his boyfriend hes told me not to tell any off the people at school so i cant tell my friends what im feeling
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas katiemariie said…
I know it can be so frustrating when guys prefer video games to actual conversation or just hanging out but you have to remember that a 14-16 year old boy is like a 12 year old girl. It seems like right now he just needs someone willing to listen who knows what he's going through and you obviously do. Try to hold off on making things romantic until he is more sure of himself and a little bit more mature (although don't hold out until he acts like an adult because that will never happen! Just kidding!). When the right time comes you two will have a much stronger bond because of what you went through together. It's totally okay to date other people while you wait. You don't have to sit home alone every night just because your crush is with his boyfriend or playing Halo.
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas vider69 said…
smile
Well, I've had men that are more interested in video games, sport, telly, whatever, that's why I have a friend with benefits who appreciates the time we spend together?
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas thirteen_times said…
blush
I have a few questions
1-Does it hurt?
2-How can far you go with out actally having sex?
3-What is foreplay?
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Cinders said…
I can field some of these, even though I'm still a virgin myself. (Well, technically. My gynocologist broke my hymen, but I've never had intercourse).

Does it hurt?
I know this is a lame answer, but it really depends. As far as I understand it, it doesn't really hurt for guys (I'll need a male to help back me up on that). As far as girls go, it can hurt, especially if you are not substantially aroused and move too fast. The main reason girls bleed, for example, is because their hymens break, and that can be painful at first. Also, the natural instinct is for a girl to clench her kegel muscles, especially as she will probably be nervous the first time, so that can also add to it. My best advice for girls (this is regurgitated from advice I've received) is to try and make yourself as relaxed as possible, which may be difficult because of your nerves. Do lots of foreplay, and maybe try stretching out your muscles privately and on your own with your fingers or a toy before you decide to have sex.

How far can you go without actually having sex?
This depends on your definition of sex. The general definition is penetration of an orifice (vaginal, anal, or oral). Which means oral sex is still sex, as of course is anal and vaginal. However, "fingering" and "handjobs" fall into the gray area, although there are still a handful of STDs you can catch just by genital contact (Herpes comes to mind, and maybe crabs or pubic lice but I'm not sure). Not to scare you or anything. Heavy petting, "dry humping," and french kissing are not considered sexual intercourse.

What is foreplay?
Great question! Foreplay is something I know quite a bit about, having done it very often in high school. Foreplay consists of some of the techniques I mentioned above: Kissing, fondling, petting, and genital stimulation OVER the clothes. Then you get under the clothes, and then you get to business. ;o) I enjoy making out a lot, so foreplay is always fun for me. Not everyone feels this way, though. In fact, the stereotype is that guys can't stand foreplay, but from my experience that's not true. LOL!
last edited sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas adavila said…
sex can hurt for a guy if you hadn´t had a circumcision and the skin isn´t loose from the head of the penis. If you have sex, the skin might suddenly rip apart from the head and that seems like it can hurt
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas germany123 said…
smile
As far as girls go, it can hurt, especially if you are not substantially aroused and move too fast.
may i add: use lubricant (a good quality water based one- as i expect you to be using condoms *glares*)
last edited sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Cinders said…
I think this should be bumped up. Great information in this thread!
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas alisonfaith297 said…
so i have a qn. i'm not exactly sure if this is the correct site to post it on. but it the best i could find.
is it weird that i'm turning 16 and have never had a boyfriend??
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Cinders said…
No. Absolutely not. That is the furthest thing from weird. It's so not weird, it's normal.

Relax. You are young. You may not feel young but you are. I know a girl who's never been kissed and she's 25. Don't fret, don't rush through life, just take your time.
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas LoveforSeverus said…
Say I were to walk into Walgreens and try and get condoms. Would they check my ID? I don't look my age, but technically it's illegal in my state to have sex.

And also, since my boyfriend is of legal age, is that considered Statutory because I'm not?
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Cinders said…
Stat laws differ from state to state. I really don't think they card for condoms, though - they aren't controlled substances like alcohol or cigarettes. I think you can purchase condoms at any age, in any state.

As for stat rape laws, the general rule is if the "adult" is 18, there is a "grace period" I think in that he (or she) can sleep with someone two years or less younger (so 16). This is if 18 is the age of consent.

So I looked it up based on your profile location (SC) and it seems that first degree stat rape is being of legal age and having sex with someone under the age of eleven. Second degree stat rape is being of legal age and having sex with someone between the ages of eleven and fourteen. Thirty years can be served for the former, and twenty can be served for the latter. [link]
last edited sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas alisonfaith297 said…
thanks cinders.. ;D