Hello
My name is Sophie aka the most confusing person in this planet. I'm honestly really moody (if you usually talk to me, you'll surely understand.) Why? Because sometimes I'm really crazy, loud and I'm just really walang tiyak na layunin to think of the most crazy things in this world. But sometimes I'm just not. I refer living alone, just lying on my kama and think of my life. Sounds like a 869553874261115753-year-old lady right? But that's really a part of me. There's always 2 sides of me that some ppl have never seen.
The reason why I make this artikulo is I'm really confused about my-confusing-self. I don't really know if I really LIVE MY life or I live someone else's.
.....MY MOM
She's a nice person, and good mom and a kind wife. She used to be a teacher but she isn't now. She always wants the best things for me, But she always says to me to do this, to do that. Like, I'm controlled. I always tell ppl to make decisions for their lives and do what they want but ha. Look at me! I've got nothing that I want! I'm not a 3-year-old kid any madami and she needs to know that. But sometimes, I see myself like a kid living in a teenager body. Completely knows nothing. I'm afraid of ppl, of the world. I always run and hide. I can never face to anything of my life.
Kids in my country study like crazy (I believe that I already told this to many ppl.). They study without getting a rest. A kid normally has 2 days of a weekend but not in my place. They can only have 1. I know I'm not an educator or anything. But I know that's just wrong. Students need to relax. School needs to teach us how to think not how much we can remember!!! Base on how we can learn then evaluate our learning resources. I always try to please my mom. I studied so hard to get to a school which is one of the tuktok schools in our country. I'm now in grade 10 of high school and after this summer break I'll be in the 11th. There are 2 madami years until college and I'm really blank to think about it. We have to do LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS of exams to go to the colleges that we want. It's still ok if you can be through but if you can't, what will happen!!! I always think like that.
I tell EVERYBODY( but my relatives) about my dream -> become a fashion designer. My mom hates it. She thinks it's so stupid and rubbish and I'm gonna be the poorest person on this planet if I can't be successful. I kinda understand it and I'm sooooooooooooo afraid about it too. :( but my mom always makes decisions and force me to do what she wants. She doesn't care about my feelings at all. She doesn't allow me to make my own decisions. She wants me to be another version of her or what!!!! I'm always wondering why she gave birth to me. I ain't allowed to do anything to my life. She always lies to me, cares of other ppl's thoughts. I mean how can she/ i/ us be happy if she keeps thinking like that. I was BORN this way. She's my mamma. I think she has to know me madami than that. I'm always trying to be a better daughter than I am now. I try because my mom's Nawawala hope in my sister. I don't want her to feel bad or anything. I just keep doing it. But....
I know that she will never see this or think about me in this way. But in my heart/ soul I always want her to think like that. like, understand about me more. :(
In my place, old ppl always think about shitty things in a shitty way. Something that's just really rubbish. Women have to be blah blah. NO-ONE HAS TO BE SOMETHING THAT THEY DON'T LIKE!!!!!! Omg like Yolo! Ppl CAN'T NEVER THINK OF IT. I mean old ppl just want US to be like THEM. But come on!!!!! They lived ages ago. Ppl changed, the world changed, everything changed. They want me to think that way so that I can live with dinosaurs or what!!!!
My mom always want me to be a math teacher coz she thinks it's easy and math teachers in here are honestly so rich. But omg I think she just can't face with the reality that I so suck at maths and it's the weakest subject that I study at school. I pag-ibig art but she doesn't understand and doesn't seem to support me. I was chosen to participate in my city's art contests when I was in middle school. Even though I've just won in the 3rd place once but I'm always raising my hope... my mom is quite okay with the thing I participate in such contests but she doesn't support at all...
well, I don't say about my dad in this article. He doesn't care about my decisions at all.. He doesn't know anything so yeah... I'm lucky like that *awkward laugh*
I really make a listahan for myself about my future jobs.
1. Fashion designer (but this is not okay at all. My mom doesn't like it and I'm afraid about my future.)
2.Architect (well this one is okay. But the main problem is I DON'T LIKE BUILDINGS AND HOUSES AND I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS STUFF)
3. Art teacher (poor as fuck but I think I'll do this one. All of my family laugh at me because of this.)
4. A fashion blogger (well it's ok but it's not a "job" at all and plus I have to waste HEAPS of money to buy clothes while I'm completely poor and don't have anything main job. But whenever I can decide and have a serious job I'll surely think about this.)
5. Going to England just for a trip about a taon to think about what I should do and make my decisions. (well in that case, I'll just be sooooooo old :(((. 18/19 years old???? Omg me?? No!!!)
That's it!! I don't want an idiot like me to become useless. I just don't know what to do or what I really want. It really sounds weird that I don't know what I want. But it's true. Omg. I want to die. I don't want to live in this life any more. I'm crying right now!!! Somebody help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!///// PLEASE GIVE ME AN ADVICE. I DON'T WANT TO BE AN USELESS PERSON. I DON'T WANT TO .....:(
My name is Sophie aka the most confusing person in this planet. I'm honestly really moody (if you usually talk to me, you'll surely understand.) Why? Because sometimes I'm really crazy, loud and I'm just really walang tiyak na layunin to think of the most crazy things in this world. But sometimes I'm just not. I refer living alone, just lying on my kama and think of my life. Sounds like a 869553874261115753-year-old lady right? But that's really a part of me. There's always 2 sides of me that some ppl have never seen.
The reason why I make this artikulo is I'm really confused about my-confusing-self. I don't really know if I really LIVE MY life or I live someone else's.
.....MY MOM
She's a nice person, and good mom and a kind wife. She used to be a teacher but she isn't now. She always wants the best things for me, But she always says to me to do this, to do that. Like, I'm controlled. I always tell ppl to make decisions for their lives and do what they want but ha. Look at me! I've got nothing that I want! I'm not a 3-year-old kid any madami and she needs to know that. But sometimes, I see myself like a kid living in a teenager body. Completely knows nothing. I'm afraid of ppl, of the world. I always run and hide. I can never face to anything of my life.
Kids in my country study like crazy (I believe that I already told this to many ppl.). They study without getting a rest. A kid normally has 2 days of a weekend but not in my place. They can only have 1. I know I'm not an educator or anything. But I know that's just wrong. Students need to relax. School needs to teach us how to think not how much we can remember!!! Base on how we can learn then evaluate our learning resources. I always try to please my mom. I studied so hard to get to a school which is one of the tuktok schools in our country. I'm now in grade 10 of high school and after this summer break I'll be in the 11th. There are 2 madami years until college and I'm really blank to think about it. We have to do LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS of exams to go to the colleges that we want. It's still ok if you can be through but if you can't, what will happen!!! I always think like that.
I tell EVERYBODY( but my relatives) about my dream -> become a fashion designer. My mom hates it. She thinks it's so stupid and rubbish and I'm gonna be the poorest person on this planet if I can't be successful. I kinda understand it and I'm sooooooooooooo afraid about it too. :( but my mom always makes decisions and force me to do what she wants. She doesn't care about my feelings at all. She doesn't allow me to make my own decisions. She wants me to be another version of her or what!!!! I'm always wondering why she gave birth to me. I ain't allowed to do anything to my life. She always lies to me, cares of other ppl's thoughts. I mean how can she/ i/ us be happy if she keeps thinking like that. I was BORN this way. She's my mamma. I think she has to know me madami than that. I'm always trying to be a better daughter than I am now. I try because my mom's Nawawala hope in my sister. I don't want her to feel bad or anything. I just keep doing it. But....
I know that she will never see this or think about me in this way. But in my heart/ soul I always want her to think like that. like, understand about me more. :(
In my place, old ppl always think about shitty things in a shitty way. Something that's just really rubbish. Women have to be blah blah. NO-ONE HAS TO BE SOMETHING THAT THEY DON'T LIKE!!!!!! Omg like Yolo! Ppl CAN'T NEVER THINK OF IT. I mean old ppl just want US to be like THEM. But come on!!!!! They lived ages ago. Ppl changed, the world changed, everything changed. They want me to think that way so that I can live with dinosaurs or what!!!!
My mom always want me to be a math teacher coz she thinks it's easy and math teachers in here are honestly so rich. But omg I think she just can't face with the reality that I so suck at maths and it's the weakest subject that I study at school. I pag-ibig art but she doesn't understand and doesn't seem to support me. I was chosen to participate in my city's art contests when I was in middle school. Even though I've just won in the 3rd place once but I'm always raising my hope... my mom is quite okay with the thing I participate in such contests but she doesn't support at all...
well, I don't say about my dad in this article. He doesn't care about my decisions at all.. He doesn't know anything so yeah... I'm lucky like that *awkward laugh*
I really make a listahan for myself about my future jobs.
1. Fashion designer (but this is not okay at all. My mom doesn't like it and I'm afraid about my future.)
2.Architect (well this one is okay. But the main problem is I DON'T LIKE BUILDINGS AND HOUSES AND I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS STUFF)
3. Art teacher (poor as fuck but I think I'll do this one. All of my family laugh at me because of this.)
4. A fashion blogger (well it's ok but it's not a "job" at all and plus I have to waste HEAPS of money to buy clothes while I'm completely poor and don't have anything main job. But whenever I can decide and have a serious job I'll surely think about this.)
5. Going to England just for a trip about a taon to think about what I should do and make my decisions. (well in that case, I'll just be sooooooo old :(((. 18/19 years old???? Omg me?? No!!!)
That's it!! I don't want an idiot like me to become useless. I just don't know what to do or what I really want. It really sounds weird that I don't know what I want. But it's true. Omg. I want to die. I don't want to live in this life any more. I'm crying right now!!! Somebody help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!///// PLEASE GIVE ME AN ADVICE. I DON'T WANT TO BE AN USELESS PERSON. I DON'T WANT TO .....:(