ang mga bayani ng olympus The Son Of Neptune My Version

mrcobra66 posted on Dec 11, 2010 at 11:50PM
i'm not trying to upstage hacate she actually inspired me to write my own version of the series so i hope you like it
1

I woke with some wierd white wolf sniffing me
-Ah, it semms our guest is alive ,and to think i was just about to eat you what is your name child
-i don't know i managed so say
- odd well do you at least know where you came from
- no all i remeber is this gray eyed girl named annabeth screaming PERCY so i guess thats my name
- strange, but on to more important matters i am lupa and this is my camp
-camp? camp for what
- demigods of course
- am i a demigod
-yes you most likely are but first you must be claimed
-by who?
-by your olympian parent of course, so is it your dad or mom
-i dont know i can't remeber anything
- this is bad maybe if we take you to where we found you you might remeber something come child follow me
- as soon as i stepped outside i saw dozens of kids in roman armor fighting with some wierd looking swords but before i could ask why they were fighting lupa stopped and i ran right into her
- here we are does any of this lokk familiar
- asi stood beside lupa i suddenly realized where i was but i didn't know i was here werein san fransico arent we and over there is mount tam
-ah so you do remember some things
-yes but very vaguely
- well lets see if you can fight
-come were going to go se a student of mine
- we walked accroos the field to this thing that looked the collussem is that the actual collusem
-yes the one in rome is actually a fake
-now that is cool
-when i walked in i saw this extremly cute girl that barely over sixteen sparring with some guys tha look at least eightteen she hacked and stabbed with such accuracy that it looked as if she was a god her self after she judo flipped the last guy then she came running over to lupa and me
- hi i'm vanessa daughter of Jupiter but you can call me nessa
-hi i'm percy and i have no clue who i am
-and aslas that problem vanessa until i have found out who he is and where he came from he will bunk and train with you
- yes ma lady
-come on percy let's see what you got
-for reason i instanly knew to reach in my pocket and uncap this pen then it instantly grew into a 3 foot long sword
-nice sword now lets see if you can use it
- but before she could even attack a sudden explosion rang thru the camp and some wierd monster thing came running into the camp
-i am the great titan atlas and i have come for PERCY JACKSON......
last edited on Jan 04, 2011 at 10:40PM

ang mga bayani ng olympus 21 ang sumagot

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sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Calypso_ said…
hmmm
how could atlas have gotten free? and he can't even challenge percy b/c of that whole ancient law thingy and i really doubt percy would challenge him even without his memory....
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas jasongrace97 said…
smile
It's quite a good plot you got there cobra. (may I call you cobra?) but I think your kind of rushing it a bit. I think you should get a little bit more descriptive but keep it up!
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas babbytreegrowth said…
cool
awesome
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Calypso_ said…
blush
wow my earlier comment sounds really mean/discouraging and well I didn't mean for it to sound that way but sadly I must say that my earlier comment whether it was mean or not is the truth and I'm a little confused so could you enlighten me please? and also I agree with jpeg (jasongrace97) I also think it sounded a teeny bit rushed so just slow down take your time and again I'm sorry if I sound mean I'm just trying to give you some constructive critisum here but I can tell you're an awesome writing and that your story will be amazing just slow down, and watch your facts....(sorry if this is a mean sounding comment don't take it the wrong way It's just helpful suggestions kind of)

-your friend (even though I may not sound like it) Calypso
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas tessa34567 said…
smile
this is great!!!!!!!!!
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas PJhero02 said…
laugh
amazing!!! i like it!
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas annabeth-crazed said…
hmmm
i kinda like it.....
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas PJhero02 said…
so are you going to post more!?
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas mrcobra66 said…
big smile





hi sorry i was gone for a while but here is part two



2

.... what atlas isn't that a book
FOOL i am the great and powerful atlas and i have finally returned to take my revenge upon you.
before i could even make a witty remark nessa and half the camp charged the titan but in a single swipe he sent them all flting in different directions next thing i knew i was being stuffed in a bag

when i woke up i was in some room with pictures of the earth every where then suddenly the ground started to move and a figure started to rise from the dirt
hello percy
how do you know my name
silly boy i'm gae mother of the earth i know everything
ok but do you want with me
it's quite simple really i'm going to make you my slave
yeah right what are you gonna do brain wash me
that's exactly what i plan to do ansd don't worry it won't hurt a bit
(she lied)
BACK AT CAMP
ow what happened moaned nessa
atlas happend said lupa
wheres percy
atlas took him
hen we gotta go get him
no
no what do you mean no we can't just leave him with atlas
well we have to for now anyways
so what are we gonna do then
you my child must consult the orcale
what but why
because percy was not the only reason atlas attacked look around child what do you see
the big three cabins he took the kids of the big three but why did he leave me
be cause at the time you were not here
so i gotta save the kids but how half the camp is hurt
i thinkit's time you hear the great prophecy
what's that
the prophecy that save or destroy man kind
oh good to know
go child speak to the orcale learn of your destiny it just might decided the fate of the planet


when i stepped into the house of the orcale it looked like some ancient mummy's tomb then right smack in the middle of the room in an open coffin covered in chains and jewerly was a small body i stepped up to and asked my question
what is my destiny then suddenly the little started to jerk and suddenly it's eyes started glowing bright gold
"one shall go to the land without sun
back to where the journey begun
to save the lost and free the trapped
only to have one brought back" ......
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas PJhero02 said…
smile
great chapter!! i love the prophecy!
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas partypony said…
sunny
awesome cahpter! the big three gets kidnapped by atlas, awesome plot. and i thought nessa what a daughter of mercury? why'd she say that atlas left her? at least, i think nessa said that.
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas mrcobra66 said…
mercury is the roman name of zues
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas AltPercyU said…
Nah the roman name for Zues is Jupiter mercury is Hermes
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas mrcobra66 said…
surprise
lol my bad i thought it was mecury oh and in case you were wondering i will post more later this week
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas mrcobra66 said…
big smile

3

ah your back so what did the orcale say
it said " one shall go to the land without sun
back to where the journey begun
to save the lost and free the trapped
only to have one brought back"
it is as i feared
what do you mean as you feared i thought i just had to go to the under world
wrong child
then where do i go there can't be any place lower or any place darker than the underworld
alas child there is long ago after the gods took over olympus they casted there mother gae the land eternal suffering
land of eternal sufering what's that
it's worse than tartus and that is all i can tell you
well how do i get there
heawest to the land of the dead and find the ferry man he will take you to the land of eternal suffering ut you must prove your worth or he will kill you on the spot
thank you lupa i thnk it's time to go
be strong child for your destiny awaits

as i headed to the stables to get my peagsus winter i saw a kid already on top of my horse
uh what are you doing on my horse
helping you
helping me first of all i don't even know you second of all this is a solo quest and i don't need your help
i don't care if you need it or not i'm going to help you save percy
fine but before we go at least tell me your name
i'm nico son of hades
wait that means your a child of the big three how did you not get captured by atlas
oh simple i wasn't here
well where were you
look that's not important right now are we gonna save percy or not
fine let's go
to be continued.....
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas mrcobra66 said…
big smile
we meet the living dirt

4


i gotta admit it didn't take long to find the land of the dead it was atually the sahara desert (who knew) after a while i sent winter back to camp and decided we could walk from here

so who's your dad nico said
jupiter why
oh no reason just trying to figure out why your trying to save percy
be cause he's my friend
are you sure that's the only reason
what are you trying to say
oh nothing
whatever
nessa look the ferry man
what that can't be him he looks like a big frosty the snowman made of dirt
well that doesn't matter if we want to save percy hes gotta take us
so how do we wake him up
maybe we just ask
well doesn't hurt to try
um take us to the land of eternal suffering
then suddenly his eyes burned bright gold he jerked and moaned then suddenly out of his arm came a three foot long sword made of dirt
watch out
then suddenly the dirt man struck down but his blade was met by a a pure black blade nico jabbed at the ferry man with his sword but it didn't seem to hurt him then the man sliced nico right on his arm and left a nasty cut
how do we beat him
i don't know nothing hurts him
wait a minute he's made of dirt right maybe he gets his power from the ground
nico get him in the air and hit
ok if you say so
then suddenly a black cloud surronded the dirt man and suddenly the man was being lifted by what looked like souls of the dead
now nessa throw your sword at hhim i can't hold it for much longer
i hurled my sword at the dirt man with incredible force it hit him dead in the head then suddenly he fell to the ground and nico colasped now unconcious
when the dirt man rose again his eyes were no longer gold they were pure red and in a deep holloww voice he said
you have proven your worth you may now enter thru the gates to the land of eternal suffering
then suddenly the ground began to shake and out of the dirt rose a huge metal and a boat
enter the boat and head to the palace there you will find your friend and many others
and with that he froze back to his normal state
as i hauled nico into the boat and push us thru the gates i saw the land of suffering and couldn't believe my eyes....


mysterious isn't it i will probbaly post another chapter tomorrow if i don't i will defintely post one friday hope you enjoyed the chapter cya later
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas AltPercyU said…
Interesting
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas mrcobra66 said…
cool
ok it took me a while but here is chapter five

5

when i pushed the boat into gate i was stunned the land was like a wierd combination of the underworld and a dessert when i walked in i was all kinds of creatures and being tortured then suddenly lightining struck me and i was in a white room talking to my father

ah vanessa you made it i've been waiting
dad what do you wan't
i see your still angry
i never stopped being angry you left me alone for sixteen years and now that olympus is falling is falling i'm supposed to help you

nessa i wanted to see you but you know i couldn't
whatever what do you want
i came to warn you do not proceed into the land of suffering there are things, and people you should not see
what you came just to tell me to quit well you can forget it
vanessa i'm telling you it's to dangerous
i'm not quitting
fine if you insist on being so stubborn at last take this
he handed me a sword but the blade looked and felt like a lighting bolt
what is this
that my daughter is the blade of the storm a sacred blade i made my self
well don't count on me using it
i trust you will make the right decision when the time comes and with that he was gone and i was back in the land of the suffering with nico starting to come around
hey what happened you blacked out after the fight
oh hey where did that sword come from
my dad gave it to me
lucky i want' a new sword
whatever come on dead brain the castle is just up that hill we'll camp here for the night



( nessa's dream)

it seems your friends have come to save you why don't go say hi
yes my queen shall i bring them back
yes i need the big three's children from both camps now be gone

i woke up in a cold sweat
nico wake up
huh what now
percy is coming
what that's great
no you idiot he's coming to kill us
wait how do you know that
i kinda saw it in a dream
well isn't that great i guess we should get moving then
uh nico turn around
what oh! Percy
hello time to do die
then suddenly we were hit with this massive wave of water and got sent flying into accross the hill...
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas PJhero02 said…
woah!!!! would percy actually kill them?!! personally i dont' think so...
last edited sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas mrcobra66 said…
cool

6

( nico pov)

when i woke up i was chained to a pole in a dark room then suddenly a door opened and then i was blinded by a bright light when the light finally died down i was in the middle of the floor next to nessa surrounded by some six armed creatures that looked as if they made of the ground itself but the wierdest thing was accross the room was a body but it looked it was still in part of the ground then suddenly percy appeared
welcome to your death meet your new queen gaea
percy why are you helping her
because oncay we will kill the gods and rule olympus
but percy you can't you can't forget your friends me,nessa,grover,tyson,annabeth
annabeth...I....
then suddenly the body of gaea started to glow
wait a minute shes controlling you
hah what does it matter i serve as a temporary ody for my queen
percy you gotta remember think percy think
silence it is time for you to serve your future queen
then suddenly out of the blue nessa hit percy with a bolt of lighting for a second it seemed like he was pointing to somethin then i suddenly remeberd his achilles heel
nessa hit him in the small of his back it might the control she has over him
ok i'll try
like nothing she threw her sword athis back but at the same instance percy set a wave of water rushing at us when the to forces colided the explosion was incredible i felt like i was on fire and some how the chains around my hands had melted
nessa after i shook off the dizzness i saw percy in the corner unconcious
nessa grab percy and let's go we can't beat everybody here
ok i'll try
sa we ran out of the room all you could hear hear was the horrible screams of gaea


when we finally got far enough away we decided to make to camp for the night then percy came around
where...am i
don't you remeber us were your friends
no all i remeber is these kids in cages i... i think i put them there....
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas blakerose12 said…
big smile
This
Is
Pretty
Good
Cant believe what happened to Percy!!