It’s time to tear Activision a new one. If I had to put Activision anywhere on the listahan for the worst video game companies in existence, it would probably be at number….. 3. Right after Capcom, but right before Ubisoft. Now, what has Activision done? Well, the bought Radical Entertainment, the guys who made Prototype….. Right before they shut the company down. They also bought Neversoft, the guys who made gitara Hero and Tony Hawk…. before merging them with Infinity Ward. And what have they been successful with? Call of Duty… of course, that explains why their still thriving. Activision is just like Frieza. They just refuse to fucking die. So, let’s look at one of their kamakailan games, like…. Walking Dead: Survival Instincts…. Oh dear.
The Walking Dead, for the 5% of the world who doesn’t know, is a ipakita that follows a group of survivors trying to survive the zombie apocalypse, as well as trying to protect themselves from psychopaths and criminals. This ipakita became a huge hit in just a matter of days, and for good reason. This is one of the most violent shows that was on TV at the time, and became a huge hit, getting popular in just weeks. So naturally, Activision felt they weren’t making enough money with CoD, so they decided to make a game of it, and that game was The Walking Dead: Survival Instincts. And in a matter of days, this game got hit with some of the lowest scores I have seen in a long time. It got both a 4.5 on IGN and a 32% on Metacritic. The game was so bad, in fact, that it was deemed as one of the worst games of all time, right up there with Bubsy 3D, Zelda on CD-i, and E.T. on Atari. So, is the game as bad as everyone says it is? No….. Because they should have ibingiay it a fucking zero. This game is fucking HORRIBLE!
Not only is this game a goddamn disaster, but it’s a goddamn disaster that comes with a price. Fucking fifty dollars. I paid fifty dollars for this fucking game. Was the price worth it. Well- No… It wasn’t…. It REALLY fucking wasn’t. So, in this game, you play as Daryl as he explores what has to be the most barren as fuck city I have ever seen. You then meet these two guys… I don’t care, since they die in the first two leves. They are also never referred to again after this, so they did just as little for you as they did for the story. So, what is the story? Fuck if I know. There are walang tiyak na layunin cutscenes whenever the game feels like it, Daryl moves to a completely different area without any transition, and he is always helping one person one minute, and is helping another the next. One minute, Daryl is in a park with a log cabin, and the next, he in a lab with insane scientists. So, fuck it. I’m making my own story. Daryl and some guy (I don’t care about his name) Try to make it to a football stadium to get to safety. If that story was half-assed, at least there was madami effort into that story than there was with this entire game sa pamamagitan ng a fucking company. That’s sad when a high school student who rarely makes honor roll puts madami effort into it than a video game company does.
So, let’s talk about the gameplay. You have a kutsilyo at first, which is basically one of the most overpowered weapons in a video game. Anyway, the game has sinabi that you can either fight or sneak past Walkers, scavenge for pagkain and fuel, find survivors who can help you out a lot more, with varying abilities. From the sounds of it, this sounds like a great Walking Dead game. But guess what, they fucked up all of these. And I am going to talk about them all. First off, combat and stealth against the Walkers. Everywhere you go, there will always be a hoard of walkers. If you do choose to fight them, get ready to be royally fucked. The combat is broken. You can either fight them up close, but if you do, you will take dozens of hits. However, you can just stab all of them and end up killing thousands just sa pamamagitan ng letting them crowd around you and you stabbing them. And if you think that’s bad, you can just jump on tuktok of a care and wail on them until they are dead. Also, if you apoy a gun, madami will come. Okay, so, that’s to be expected. But sooner or later, you’re going to find a crossbow. This fucking thing is so overpowered, that you will just want this throughout the game and nothing else. Not only is it a silent weapon that kills everything in one headshot (Which aren’t that hard to get), but you can pick up the palaso you fired and use them for an unlimited amount of times. This weapon is way to overpowered. But here’s the thing…. You don’t have to fight them. If you just run away, the Walkers will just give up and leave. You can just outrun them and NEVER stop running. That is how bad the enemy AI is. Also, they really pag-ibig running into walls, in case they weren’t bad enough. Also, stealth is useless. They will find you no matter what, and you can never outrun them. So, Combat and Stealth was a fucking disappointment.
Next, let's look at scavenging. They told you that you would have to scavenge for food, ammo, and fuel. First off, food… Entirely bullshit. If you had a hunger meter, then it would make sense. But instead, you collect bottles of water, or if you ask me, what looks like piss. It’s green, so it’s piss. It could be an energy drink, but energy drinks to me, taste like piss. So, it’s still piss. And the bottles of piss only heal you up… very little. It doesn’t even heal a quarter of a quarter of your health. It is that little. Thankfully, like I sinabi before, due to running from enemies, you can avoid getting hit. Next, is ammo. Again, entirely bullshit. mga baril are basically useless, since you only get very little ammo to use them and since they attract madami enemies. And considering the fact that melee weapons, or even the goddamn crossbow, are madami powerful weapons, you will NEVER use any of this ammo. And lastly, fuel. Well, at least you will need the fuel…. Over, and Over, AND OVER AGAIN! This is the one thing you will need, because your fuel meter is as short as a dust mites erection. This thing dies faster than a fly in a gas chamber. Every time you are driving, you will always, and I mean ALWAYs, run out of gas. And sometimes, you’ll run out of gas multiple times on the same damn highway. And when you do run out, you will have to go to the most empty and boring looking places ever, finding gas cans and taking them back to the car, and it is never fun. Hell, sometimes, you’ll end up AT THE SAME FUCKING PLACE YOU WERE AT BEFORE! So, yeah scavenging is also a fucking disappointment.
Lastly, let’s look at the survivors. Now, let’s think about this. Survivors in a zombie game… You don’t need me to tell you that this is already a disappointment. But trust me, you wouldn’t think it was possible, but Activision takes away all expectations of that and makes it worse. You were expecting bad survivors, but don’t worry, Activision made it worse. Survivors are always able to be found, and they ask you to do some of the most boring as fuck side quests for them, when in reality, you can just tell them to fuck off, which is what I did for all survivors. I don’t give two shits about them. But when you do find them, all they do is sit around the car and do fucking nothing. You can ask them to go and find health packs, but they're so badly injured, you need to waste a health pack. The only problem is that they only brought one fucking pack, so you have to waste it to save the guy and pretty much make sending him a waste of everyone’s fucking time. And considering the fact that you can find a bunch of that stuff outside makes sending them out to their death a waste of fucking time. Needless to say, don’t do it. Don’t send them out. So, survivors are also a fucking disappointment. So, all of those three selling points are fucking garbage. That’s how bad this game is.
So, I have decided to spoil the ending, because, come on, are you really going to go out and buy this game. So, with all the shit that was in the game, you’d think that the game would have a decent ending…. Well, Daryl goes to a football stadium where everyone is dead because…. fuck if I know, and Daryl grabs a machine gun, shoots some Walkers and then he drives out of there…. And that’s it. It’s a lot less of an ending and madami of the fact that the game just stopped…. Now, normally, I’d get mad at an ending like that…. But I’m not mad…. I’M FUCKING PISSED OFF! HOW IN THE FUCK DO YOU FUCK UP THE WALKING DEAD THIS BAD!? …. But, for all I know, maybe they just didn’t have the right idea how to do it. Making a Walking Dead game was still something new at the time, and they were still trying to make something like the Walking Dead into a game……. Is what I would say if it wasn’t for the fact that Telltale had already done this before and better. Telltale’s the Walking Dead is how to do a Walking Dead game RIGHT. You actually enjoy the characters and story, and your actions change the game, with each choice being very hard, and each choice having consequences. And that game was released in 2012, when Survival Instincts was released in fucking 2013. So, with that information, there is no longer an excuse to make this game this bad. THIS GAME SUCKS JUST FOR THE SAKE OF FUCKING SUCKING!
Wow… I don’t believe it. Fifty dollars for this piece of shit. This may be the worst game in my entire game collection, and it doesn’t fucking help that it costs fifty fucking dollars. And the worst part- The fucking worst part- Is that the same araw I paid fifty dollars for this goddamn game, I also bought Metal Gear Solid HD Collection AND Red Dead Redemption, both in my tuktok ten games of all time, for fucking TEN DOLLARS EACH! I am not fucking kidding. You have great games at low prices, but it costs a fortune just to torture yourself. Don’t buy this game. You’d have madami fun just tossing fifty bucks out the fucking window than you would spending it on this piece of shit. But, hey, that’s only my opinion. What’s Your Take.
The Walking Dead, for the 5% of the world who doesn’t know, is a ipakita that follows a group of survivors trying to survive the zombie apocalypse, as well as trying to protect themselves from psychopaths and criminals. This ipakita became a huge hit in just a matter of days, and for good reason. This is one of the most violent shows that was on TV at the time, and became a huge hit, getting popular in just weeks. So naturally, Activision felt they weren’t making enough money with CoD, so they decided to make a game of it, and that game was The Walking Dead: Survival Instincts. And in a matter of days, this game got hit with some of the lowest scores I have seen in a long time. It got both a 4.5 on IGN and a 32% on Metacritic. The game was so bad, in fact, that it was deemed as one of the worst games of all time, right up there with Bubsy 3D, Zelda on CD-i, and E.T. on Atari. So, is the game as bad as everyone says it is? No….. Because they should have ibingiay it a fucking zero. This game is fucking HORRIBLE!
Not only is this game a goddamn disaster, but it’s a goddamn disaster that comes with a price. Fucking fifty dollars. I paid fifty dollars for this fucking game. Was the price worth it. Well- No… It wasn’t…. It REALLY fucking wasn’t. So, in this game, you play as Daryl as he explores what has to be the most barren as fuck city I have ever seen. You then meet these two guys… I don’t care, since they die in the first two leves. They are also never referred to again after this, so they did just as little for you as they did for the story. So, what is the story? Fuck if I know. There are walang tiyak na layunin cutscenes whenever the game feels like it, Daryl moves to a completely different area without any transition, and he is always helping one person one minute, and is helping another the next. One minute, Daryl is in a park with a log cabin, and the next, he in a lab with insane scientists. So, fuck it. I’m making my own story. Daryl and some guy (I don’t care about his name) Try to make it to a football stadium to get to safety. If that story was half-assed, at least there was madami effort into that story than there was with this entire game sa pamamagitan ng a fucking company. That’s sad when a high school student who rarely makes honor roll puts madami effort into it than a video game company does.
So, let’s talk about the gameplay. You have a kutsilyo at first, which is basically one of the most overpowered weapons in a video game. Anyway, the game has sinabi that you can either fight or sneak past Walkers, scavenge for pagkain and fuel, find survivors who can help you out a lot more, with varying abilities. From the sounds of it, this sounds like a great Walking Dead game. But guess what, they fucked up all of these. And I am going to talk about them all. First off, combat and stealth against the Walkers. Everywhere you go, there will always be a hoard of walkers. If you do choose to fight them, get ready to be royally fucked. The combat is broken. You can either fight them up close, but if you do, you will take dozens of hits. However, you can just stab all of them and end up killing thousands just sa pamamagitan ng letting them crowd around you and you stabbing them. And if you think that’s bad, you can just jump on tuktok of a care and wail on them until they are dead. Also, if you apoy a gun, madami will come. Okay, so, that’s to be expected. But sooner or later, you’re going to find a crossbow. This fucking thing is so overpowered, that you will just want this throughout the game and nothing else. Not only is it a silent weapon that kills everything in one headshot (Which aren’t that hard to get), but you can pick up the palaso you fired and use them for an unlimited amount of times. This weapon is way to overpowered. But here’s the thing…. You don’t have to fight them. If you just run away, the Walkers will just give up and leave. You can just outrun them and NEVER stop running. That is how bad the enemy AI is. Also, they really pag-ibig running into walls, in case they weren’t bad enough. Also, stealth is useless. They will find you no matter what, and you can never outrun them. So, Combat and Stealth was a fucking disappointment.
Next, let's look at scavenging. They told you that you would have to scavenge for food, ammo, and fuel. First off, food… Entirely bullshit. If you had a hunger meter, then it would make sense. But instead, you collect bottles of water, or if you ask me, what looks like piss. It’s green, so it’s piss. It could be an energy drink, but energy drinks to me, taste like piss. So, it’s still piss. And the bottles of piss only heal you up… very little. It doesn’t even heal a quarter of a quarter of your health. It is that little. Thankfully, like I sinabi before, due to running from enemies, you can avoid getting hit. Next, is ammo. Again, entirely bullshit. mga baril are basically useless, since you only get very little ammo to use them and since they attract madami enemies. And considering the fact that melee weapons, or even the goddamn crossbow, are madami powerful weapons, you will NEVER use any of this ammo. And lastly, fuel. Well, at least you will need the fuel…. Over, and Over, AND OVER AGAIN! This is the one thing you will need, because your fuel meter is as short as a dust mites erection. This thing dies faster than a fly in a gas chamber. Every time you are driving, you will always, and I mean ALWAYs, run out of gas. And sometimes, you’ll run out of gas multiple times on the same damn highway. And when you do run out, you will have to go to the most empty and boring looking places ever, finding gas cans and taking them back to the car, and it is never fun. Hell, sometimes, you’ll end up AT THE SAME FUCKING PLACE YOU WERE AT BEFORE! So, yeah scavenging is also a fucking disappointment.
Lastly, let’s look at the survivors. Now, let’s think about this. Survivors in a zombie game… You don’t need me to tell you that this is already a disappointment. But trust me, you wouldn’t think it was possible, but Activision takes away all expectations of that and makes it worse. You were expecting bad survivors, but don’t worry, Activision made it worse. Survivors are always able to be found, and they ask you to do some of the most boring as fuck side quests for them, when in reality, you can just tell them to fuck off, which is what I did for all survivors. I don’t give two shits about them. But when you do find them, all they do is sit around the car and do fucking nothing. You can ask them to go and find health packs, but they're so badly injured, you need to waste a health pack. The only problem is that they only brought one fucking pack, so you have to waste it to save the guy and pretty much make sending him a waste of everyone’s fucking time. And considering the fact that you can find a bunch of that stuff outside makes sending them out to their death a waste of fucking time. Needless to say, don’t do it. Don’t send them out. So, survivors are also a fucking disappointment. So, all of those three selling points are fucking garbage. That’s how bad this game is.
So, I have decided to spoil the ending, because, come on, are you really going to go out and buy this game. So, with all the shit that was in the game, you’d think that the game would have a decent ending…. Well, Daryl goes to a football stadium where everyone is dead because…. fuck if I know, and Daryl grabs a machine gun, shoots some Walkers and then he drives out of there…. And that’s it. It’s a lot less of an ending and madami of the fact that the game just stopped…. Now, normally, I’d get mad at an ending like that…. But I’m not mad…. I’M FUCKING PISSED OFF! HOW IN THE FUCK DO YOU FUCK UP THE WALKING DEAD THIS BAD!? …. But, for all I know, maybe they just didn’t have the right idea how to do it. Making a Walking Dead game was still something new at the time, and they were still trying to make something like the Walking Dead into a game……. Is what I would say if it wasn’t for the fact that Telltale had already done this before and better. Telltale’s the Walking Dead is how to do a Walking Dead game RIGHT. You actually enjoy the characters and story, and your actions change the game, with each choice being very hard, and each choice having consequences. And that game was released in 2012, when Survival Instincts was released in fucking 2013. So, with that information, there is no longer an excuse to make this game this bad. THIS GAME SUCKS JUST FOR THE SAKE OF FUCKING SUCKING!
Wow… I don’t believe it. Fifty dollars for this piece of shit. This may be the worst game in my entire game collection, and it doesn’t fucking help that it costs fifty fucking dollars. And the worst part- The fucking worst part- Is that the same araw I paid fifty dollars for this goddamn game, I also bought Metal Gear Solid HD Collection AND Red Dead Redemption, both in my tuktok ten games of all time, for fucking TEN DOLLARS EACH! I am not fucking kidding. You have great games at low prices, but it costs a fortune just to torture yourself. Don’t buy this game. You’d have madami fun just tossing fifty bucks out the fucking window than you would spending it on this piece of shit. But, hey, that’s only my opinion. What’s Your Take.
Come little children
Come with me.
I’ll take you to a land
Of fantasy
Please little children
Don’t you cry
Hypno wouldn’t even
Hurt a fly
Please little children
Don’t you squirm
These ropes, I know
Will hold you firm
I know I said
This isn’t true.
But sadly,
Hypno lied to you
Now, little children
You weren’t clever
Now you’re trapped with me
Forever…
And then the police broke in, beat me up, and arrested me on several accounts of attempted pedophilia. I guess I should have tied them up in a cave instead of a big white van with kendi in the back
Come with me.
I’ll take you to a land
Of fantasy
Please little children
Don’t you cry
Hypno wouldn’t even
Hurt a fly
Please little children
Don’t you squirm
These ropes, I know
Will hold you firm
I know I said
This isn’t true.
But sadly,
Hypno lied to you
Now, little children
You weren’t clever
Now you’re trapped with me
Forever…
And then the police broke in, beat me up, and arrested me on several accounts of attempted pedophilia. I guess I should have tied them up in a cave instead of a big white van with kendi in the back
???: what is the status?
Guy: I got a extra life!
???: ... anything on the war?
Dex: we're back! with only fatal wounds!
???: Henry! what did they say?
Henry: they would support us
???: oh thank god! we must prepare for are attack then...
Dex: you know, this is slightly less of a hellhole than Germany...
Henry: not true... London and a few cities around it are the only places that are not burned to the ground or in chaos
Dex: well fuc*
Henry: until he surrenders the world is another hell
???: then we will stomp Dominic into a bloody pulp til he does surrenders!
Henry: God save the queen!
Dex: God save the world...
Guy: I got a extra life!
???: ... anything on the war?
Dex: we're back! with only fatal wounds!
???: Henry! what did they say?
Henry: they would support us
???: oh thank god! we must prepare for are attack then...
Dex: you know, this is slightly less of a hellhole than Germany...
Henry: not true... London and a few cities around it are the only places that are not burned to the ground or in chaos
Dex: well fuc*
Henry: until he surrenders the world is another hell
???: then we will stomp Dominic into a bloody pulp til he does surrenders!
Henry: God save the queen!
Dex: God save the world...