From an email. Just for fun!!

This is a test for Highly Intelligent People.....I have determined that you qualify. The following short iksamen consists of 4 tanong and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional. Scroll down for each answer. The tanong are NOT that difficult. But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question!

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?








Correct answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This tanong tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.


2. How do you put an elephant...

More emails.

Best "out of office" email responses:

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and puso removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to alisin all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will...

More emails!

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give madami than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving madami than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11...

From another email I received. Just for fun!



EMPLOYEE MEMO


Dress Code

1. It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.

2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay raise.


Sick Days

We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof...

From an email...

Not that this would ever happen to any of us!
10 best things to say if caught sleeping at your desk.
Just in case you ever need a quick excuse:

10. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."

9. "This is just a 15 minuto power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to."

8. "Whew! Guess I left the tuktok of the Whiteout off. You probably got here just in time! Thanks!"

7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new business strategy."

6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

5. "I was doing...