Feathertail is Tested in StarClan

DJ Oakie-Heartie set up the tracks for another long night at his golden mansion. His brother, Crookedstar, was supervising him, so that he wouldn't use the surround sound system.

"Why are you watching me like that?" he yowled. "I'm not a kit anymore! Besides, I'm older than you!"

As the music started for the night, Crookedstar's feelings were hurt. He did not see any compassion in his brother for all he had done to protect him. It just wasn't fair.

Saturday sa pamamagitan ng Basshunter was playing in the speakers as the StarClan Pusa piled in, dancing to the slow beat. Giving up on that (since no one could really break dance for this music) they did the Jersey fist pump.

"Tonight is really boring," Swiftpaw muttered to Brindleface.

Brindleface shushed the tom. "Be patient. Let DJ Oakie-Heartie warm up for a bit."

"You mean drink up!" Yellowfang coughed.

Spottedleaf turned and glared at Yellowfang. "You didn't spike the punch, did you?"

"With a crap load of Amp (a fictional soda from the comedy sitcom, How I Met Your Mother)!" she purred. "He'll be partying all night!"

"You wicked she-cat!" Riverstar commented.

"Well..." Yellowfang tried to hide her embarrassment.

"Something tells me that somethings going to happen," Lionblaze murmured, changing the subject.

Silverstream mewed in agreement. "Something strange will turn up definitely, Lionblaze."

"It's just as if," Windstar jittered, since she drank the spiked Amp, "the answer is just going to fall from the sky!"

Just as she meowed that, they heard a faint yowling coming from the sky. It got louder gradually.

Oakheart noticed this, too, and he turned off the music and the lights. The main light of the mansion's dance room was on, the dull lights tinting the StarClan cats' pelts a white.

All StarClan Pusa looked towards the Sky Light, where a tabby cat was falling, paws flailing.

"Back up!" Oakheart ordered.

At the call, all the Pusa moved away to give the Sky Light area some space. As they did, a silver tabby she-cat fell face first into the floor. All the Pusa winced and cringed when they saw her go Splat!.

The she-cat lifted her body up slowly, stretching. "I thought coming to StarClan would be less painful!" she complained, cracking her neck. "I didn't really wanna fall again!"

She then looked around at the StarClan cats. They were standing on two legs as they usually were, which weirded the new StarClan cat out.

"Wha--?" She stood up, too. She looked down at her hind legs. "How am I standing on two legs? How are you standing on two legs?! And what's this extra toe on my forepaws?"

"Your tanong will be answered, Feathertail," Silverstream had murmured.

"Mother?" Feathertail looked up. "Where am I? Are you sure I'm in StarClan?"

Silverstream looked around, nodding. "Oakheart, explain."

"I'd be glad to!" Oakheart cleared his throat, walking steadily on two legs towards Feathertail, who was shaking with fear.

"You must be Oakheart!" she meowed.

He nodded, then wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "Welcome to StarClan! We're glad to have you here! But, unfortunately, you're dead. We walk on two legs and have opposable thumbs! Unlike silly mortals. We're like Twolegs, but we're awesomer!!!"

He backed off, taking a good look at the length of her body. Silverstream slapped him at the back of the head.

"That's my daughter!" she growled.

"Okay," he purred. "You can't let a tom have fun!"

He then continued. "Here is how things work around here, Feathertail. Here are the days of the week. Sunday is prayer answering day. Monday is chores: of course we have to keep Silverpelt clean! Tuesday is when we educate each other about the history of StarClan and the other Clans. Wednesday is our free night, when you individually can do whatever you want. Thursday is Game Night. Friday is Movie night. And of course, Saturday is Dance Party Night."

Dance Party Night...? Feathertail was confused.

"Saturdays," he explained, "is when all the older apprentices, warriors and every one else can hang out and dance. A DJ of choice gets to run the music for the dances."


"Well, it used to be that Pusa that died in the original series would be a DJ. But, they suck! So, we decided that any Clan cat that dies on a Saturday will be tested to see if they are a good DJ. Whitestorm has his Heavy Metal night every two moons, and most of the DJing is run by, your's truly. Other DJs are Bluestar, Yellowfang, Swiftpaw, Spottedleaf, and Redtail. Any questions?"

Feathertail was still very confused. "Who runs all of this?"

Every StarClan cat fell silent, and a walang tiyak na layunin voice boomed above them. "That's classified."

Feathertail looked around, scared.

"Don't tanong the Meerkat Manor Fan!"

She looked at Oakheart awkwardly. "Meerkat Manor Fan...?"

Lionheart growled with annoyance. "Meerkat Manor Fan, Lilysong, Miss PoTATo Head, Double T, what ever you wanna call her! Don't talk of her!"

"Don't even put the numbers 0 8 3 0 in the same sentence!" Stonefur yowled. "Like...I just...did."


The big voice boomed above, and Stonefur was then shot with a blue lazer beem. He was all ashy and sooty, but since he was immortal, he shook all of the soot off of him.

So, she thought angrily, this is what StarClan really does. I imagined them to be madami powerful and compassionate towards their Clanmates and not waste their eternal lives like this!

"But it's sooo worth it!" a cat meowed in the crowd, as if it heard her thoughts.

"So," Oakheart mewed awkwardly, "are you ready to be tested?"


"To be a DJ!" he purred. "Come on!"

Feathertail followed unsteadily on two legs behind Oakheart, and he led her to a colorful stand. It had large bilog things and a bunch of high-tech stuff.

"These are records," he informed, pointing his claw at the black bilog things. "Those are the tracks." He pointed to a high-tech iTunes dock. "You can change the track to whatever you want."

Feathertail nodded, ipinapakita she was listening.

"Pick some headphones here. You can use either one of these, for now. And if you pass, we'll have headphones customized for you."

She nodded again, looking at a large cubby of headphones. One pair immediately caught her eyes, and she grabbed it. It was all different mga kulay with words on the plugs. One had I pag-ibig Bluestar on them, and the other had DJ OH on them.

Oakheart chuckled with embarrassment. "Those are mine." He grabbed them and put them back on the shelf.

Feathertail then saw a pair of plain silver ones. She grabbed them.

"Oh. Those belonged to an ancient StarClan cat. He disappeared, reincarnated. If you pass, you can have them customized."

"Okay." She vainly put the headphones on.

Oakheart stepped off the stand. "Okay, play a track and start."

She nodded, but she looked down at the tracks, confused. She had no idea which song to pick. This was so strange! Then, she noticed that some Pusa got impatient, and one song caught her interest.


She decided to put that one on. She was startled when she heard the music come on the big speakers. The lights were off, and they were replaced sa pamamagitan ng a disco ball and flashing colorful lights. The StarClan Pusa were nodding with satisfaction as the song played.

Then the beat pounded in the speakers, and Feathertail couldn't help giggling. The dance was so funny! The StarClan Pusa raised their arms in the air, shaking their hips. As they continued to dance, she realized that this was actually really fun! She even started shaking her hips as they then started to ilipat their legs with the beat.

Then she saw Oakheart stagger in the middle of the clearing. He was holding a cup with a green concoction in it. Yellowfang and Swiftpaw were cackling in the back.

"That's some strong Amp!" Swiftpaw guffawed.

" a genius!" Yellowfang meowed.

When the music ended, all the StarClan Pusa cheered, glancing at Feathertail. Oakheart was laughing obnoxciously, eyes dilated.

"You passed!" he guffawed. Green liquid spilled from the cup.

Feathertail felt like she was going to burst with pride. She trembled as she stepped down from the stand and into the crowd.

"You were great!"

"Definitely...that was awesome!"

Oakheart staggered some more, stumbling as he reached the stand.

"Who spiked the punch?" he meowed, his words slurred.

Yellowfang laughed some madami from her plot. "You look terrific, Oakheart!"

Swiftpaw rolled his eyes, spiking her drink. As she drank it, she got jittering, then bouncin literally off the walls.

He rubbed his hands together near his face, laughing meniacally. Feathertail didn't care. She didn't have this much fun in moons!

"Now," DJ Oakie-Heartie meowed, slurring. "Dance, you monkeys!"

As the music started, everyone danced, ignoring Yellowfang, who was bouncing around like a glazed bunny.