(Not a very creative name, I know)
ONE
I sat on the bed. Doing nothing. Nothing. Nothing. I looked at the clock. Friday, five-fifty-eight PM. Five-fifty-nine. Waiting. Waiting. puso pounding. Counting seconds. Every week. Every week, SHE came. SHE would try to kill me. Then I would scream for help and they would come. Then I would get a lecture that nothing was there, possibly some treatment or whatever. Then susunod Friday at six, it would happen again.
Forty-five seconds. I glanced at the book. I brought it with me. That way, no one else would read it. It was old and leather-bound, and had pictures of a little girl. Her life. Her diary. Her family. Her story.
Her death.
Thirty seconds. SHE would come. Every week Maysilee came. She would try to kill me. Someday she would succeed. Then she would kill anyone closely associated with me. I had no family, no friends. Just the doctors. I wasn’t sure if they counted.
Fifteen seconds. I didn’t know much about my “condition.” They sinabi I was schizophrenic, that I see and believe things that aren’t real. But they are. They really are real. I am not mad. I’m not. I’m not. The things are real. Real real real real real.
Three. Two. One.
Time’s up.
I looked up. There she was, right on time. A little girl, with straight black hair covering her face. In a dress, madami of a rag, really. Barefoot, holding a ripped up, abused teddy madala in one hand. The girl from the book. Maysilee.
She stepped forward. I took a deep breath, getting ready for my cry for help. I had one chance at this, and if they didn’t hear or didn’t get here in time, I would already be dead, because my cry would make Maysilee mad and just kill me sooner.
I screamed for help. Maysilee disappeared as they came in. Even though this went on for years, I was still scared to death every time. I leaned against the wall, panting.
“Samara, there is no one here,” sinabi Barbara, one of my doctors. “We’ve talked about this.”
I tried to hold it in. I really did. But I still started screaming, in the angry way this time, which I had never done before. I slapped Barbara. “WHY CAN’T YOU LISTEN TO ME? SHE’S TRYING TO KILL ME! GET HER AWAY FROM ME! BELIEVE ME! SHE’S REAL! REAL! BELIEVE ME! WHY CAN’T YOU BELIEVE ME?”
Two people came over with a tranquilizer. I continued screaming until I was completely under. “She’s….coming….for….me….” was all I could say before I Nawawala consciousness completely.
I woke up slowly. I was on a hospital kama and couldn’t ilipat anything below my neck. There were bruises everywhere, and a long cut on my arm. I began to freak out when Barbara came over.
“Do you know why you’re here?” she asked.
I shook my head. “You’re here because of what you did. We were going to let you sleep for a while. But you woke up and completely lashed out. Do you remember?”
I shook my head again. “Well, you’ve been medicated. It’s new stuff, and there is only one way to test it. But get some rest, I’ll tell you about it later.” She got up and left.
* * *
I woke up the susunod day, I think. I felt better, less numb. Barbara came.
“Come on! We need to be there in twenty minutes!” I got up. To my surprise, I was already in the normal hospital clothes and not the hospital gown.
I followed Barbara through hallways, looking down. I wasn’t the craziest in the bunch, but everyone knew me. Most people, anyway. They knew my pattern, every Friday at six PM sharp. They thought I was crazy. A new girl, one with bad hallucinations, sinabi my story was too much like this movie--I forget what it’s called--to be real.
We walked into a room with five other patients. I knew two of them. The girl I mentioned with the hallucinations, Becky, was looking a little scared. She had dark skin and short black hair, with gray eyes. Then Jared, some guy who went completely crazy at walang tiyak na layunin moments, sat susunod to her. He had pale skin and blond hair with blue eyes. I didn’t know anyone else. I took my seat.
Barbara stood at the front of the room. She began to speak. "As you may know, we have developed a new medication for schizophrenia, hallucinations, and delusions. The six of you have one of those, or something similar. There is only one way to test the medication that we can think of. The hospital environment is not a good environment to test it. Therefore, we are going to send you outside in the real world for a year."
Becky's eyes lit up. Slowly, everyone else realized what it meant. There were smiles and whispering. I stayed silent.
"You each need to be injected with the medicine and wait for three hours for it to go through your system. Samara already has been injected. The process may seem scary, but it isn't. Tell us how you feel, Samara."
I spoke up for the first time in a while. I sounded fine. "Umm, a little dizzy, but other than that, I'm okay."
The other five nodded. Some looked nervous, others excited. Barbara cleared her throat. We all looked up.
"There are some things we need to explain. First, every week, the same araw your launch was, we will come to your assigned apartment to give you another dose. Second, you will each have an identity to follow. Most of it is real, we just filled in some other things. Third, there will be no contact with family members. If you must, you have to say you are still in the hospital. No contact in person." Everyone nodded.
A girl with short, spiky pale bond hair, pale skin, and light blue eyes said, "Why us?"
Barbara replied, "Because you are the ones with very few people who care about you. No one will notice you if you're gone."
"Why?" Becky asked.
"We were going to keep this from you, but, let me explain. This is the best we have ever gotten with cures. Nothing has worked on you six. If this doesn't work, there are," she took a breath and hesitated, as if looking for the right words, "Drawbacks. If it doesn't not work, then, there is a chance you will snap completely. Go completely violent. Dangerous. We would have to….cancel you."
Cancel. Kill. We all knew it. It had happened only once before. Now it might happen o the six of us. Great. I was completely sane. I know all insane people think that, but I knew. So no matter what, I was going to be cancelled. If Maysilee didn't get to me first.
A sound escaped me. Maysilee. Who would be there to make her go away? She would surely kill me in the most horrible, terrifying ways. I hoped I could make it through the year. I didn't know how they would kanselahin me, but it would be less terrible, surely. Nerve gas. A lethal injection. Bullet to the head. Something. If she didn't get to me first…
The boy susunod to me nudged me. "Wandering off again," he whispered. Huh. I must do that a lot.
I looked at Barbara. "So you chose us because you think that because no one cares about us, you can kill us?"
Barbara looked stumped. "I…uh…"
"You thought we wouldn't figure it out? We're people, Barbara, not lab rats."
"That's Dr. Marin to you!" she snapped at me. She returned to normal and changed the subject. "You will each be launched tomorrow. Samara, please go with Dr. Ackard."
I followed Dr. Ackard out the door. "What are we doing?" I asked her.
"We'll be going back to your room. You will get your few belongings then I will make you look socially acceptable. You will be launched at ten."
I looked at my watch. It was Saturday, seven AM. I must've been out for a while. Dr. Ackard gave me a small bag. I filled it with the things I wanted to take—Maysilee's book, a jacket, my posters, the various activities I had, which were just drawing things, books, and a hemp bracelet kit. I sat down on a chair.
Dr. Ackard was nice. She sinabi I could call her Debby. I took a shower, then let my mind wander as she pulled a brush through my thick brown hair. It was wavy and shiny when it was dried and brushed. She put a clear amerikana on my nails and told me to get dressed.
Five minutos later, I came out of my bathroom with skinny jeans, a black t-shirt, and some boots that were hard to walk in with three inch heels. I got used to them, though. Six years ago, I had a normal life. Junior in high school. Straight A's. Excellent parents. I had a little brother, Jeremy, who was nine. Maysilee killed them all. He was only nine…
I started to choke up as she did my makeup. I stopped before she could see me. I looked at my watch. It was already nine thirty. We got up and into a little airplane. I was in a mental institute in California. We were on our way to Oregon. I didn't know where, just Oregon.
"Here," Barbara said, "This is your purse. Look through it, it has everything about you."
I did as I was told. There was an I.D. that sinabi I was twenty-three, born April 14, 1986. Correct. I was 5'9" and 113 pounds. Correct. Same with the driver's license. I was pretty sure I could remember how to drive.
I looked through the other things. I was unemployed and just moved to the town. I lived in an apartment in downtown Portland. I owned a Chrysler.
"Everything will be provided for you in the beginning," Barbara said, "but you will need to get a job. There is a hundred thousand dollars in your bank account, so you should be good for a while. There is furniture and a stocked fridge, as well as clothes. It's a very nice apartment."
"Thanks," was all I could say.
I sat and looked over madami things. Debit card. Keys. I was ibingiay a Blackberry. I looked at the date, December 13. That petsa sounded familiar. I tried hard to remember. Oh yeah, I had a best friend named Maggie. Her paborito singer's birthday was today. Maysilee killed her, too.
I fell asleep.
TWO
When we landed, it was all a blur. Getting off the plane. Driving to my apartment. I was left alone after I was showed around the place.
I sat on the couch. I loved the place. It was huge and spacious and probably expensive. The hospital would pay half my rent, so I only had to pay about six hundred dollars a month. The bedroom had a map. After looking around and getting used to the place, I fell asleep.
When I woke up, it was twelve-ish. I made lunch, which wasn't much, and turned on the TV. I watched walang tiyak na layunin pelikula for a while. I turned to some horror movie. But, even though it was fake, it made me freak out. The little girl. The video. It reminded me too much of Maysilee's curse. I looked at the pamagat of the movie. The Ring. I would never watch this movie again.
I drove around a while. There wasn't much traffic, and apparently I could drive pretty well. There were a few shops worth checking out. I stopped at a bar, but didn't get anything. I was driving. I stopped at a park, and checked out a science museum. I loved the museum, so I got a membership. I got hapunan at a nice little restaurant. I went back home.
It was eight. I had left at three. I was gone for five hours. Wow. Time flies. I changed and went to bed.
The susunod day, I got up around eightish. I found a nice outfit in the closet and got dressed. I turned on the computer and checked my email. There was one from Barbara.
Samara,
How was your first day? Hopefully it wasn't too hard. We found a few jobs you might like. Of course, there are many places that do not want people who will only work for a short time. If you want, you can find a job yourself. If not, tell us and we'll email you the list. We don't want your job to seem forced, so you can find one yourself.
The other five are being launched today. Below is a paglalarawan of each patient so you can recognize them if it comes to it.
Rebecca Ashton: 25, dark skin, short black hair, gray eyes. 5'4", average weight. Lives in Bend, Oregon.
Jared Markes: 19, average skin, dark blond hair, blue eyes. 6', average weight. Lives in Beaverton, Oregon.
Kalea-Marie Starkeson: 18, tan skin, light brown hair, brown eyes. 5'6", slightly plump. Lives in La Grande, Oregon.
Mark McNab: 27, average skin, black hair, hazel eyes. 5'10", slightly skinny. Lives in Kennewick, Washington.
Larissa Kent: 21, pale skin, pale blond hair, light blue eyes. 5'2", skinny. Lives in Seattle, Washington.
Hopefully this helps. If you want phone numbers or any other information, email me. Good luck.
-Barbara Marin
I stared at the email. I didn't care. I had a life now. I could do what I wanted. I got up out of the chair and made breakfast. Wondering what to do for the day, I decided to take the MAX to a few places.
First I went to the bookstore. I got a few that looked interesting, like Matched and Impossible. They looked like books I would like.
I went to a nice little park and stated pagbaba Impossible. It started out good. Hours passed and I was pretty far in. When I looked at my watch, it was already twelve.
I walked to the bar I saw earlier. It started raining. I walked a little faster, but sa pamamagitan ng the time I got there, my hair was soaked. I walked in and a little kampanilya rang.
The place was deserted, almost. There was a girl in a red tank tuktok and skinny jeans working as the bartender, and a guy sitting and watching some sports game. He seemed oblivious.
I sat down and ordered french fries. I didn’t feel like drinking. I watched the game off and on, ate, read my book. I eventually ordered a beer. The guy kept watching his game.
About an oras passed. The guy got up. He tripped over something and knocked over my barstool, sending my into a glass bulaklak pot.
“Dammit!” I sinabi as my left arm started bleeding, “watch where you’re going susunod time!”
“I am so sorry!” he said, and tried to help me up. “Here, let me help you.”
“Get the hell away from me! I don’t even know you!” I winced as I sat up. There was glass stuck in my arm, and the water from the bulaklak pot was starting to turn red. The bartender came over.
“Oh god! Do you need me to call the hospital or something?” she asked.
“No, I’m fine,” I sinabi to the lady.
“Really, let me help you,” the guy sinabi again.
I turned to him. “I already told you! I don’t need any help!” I stood up.
He calmed down. “I am sorry.”
“Whatever.”
“Seriously, though, you should go to the hospital or something.”
“Seriously, though, I’m fine,” I said, getting a little annoyed.
“Just…let me help. In some way.”
“Why are you so determined to help me?” I asked him firmly. My arm was bleeding badly.
“Because I would feel bad if a walang tiyak na layunin stranger bled out or got seriously injured because of me and I did nothing.”
“Well, I hope you don’t feel bad because I’m refusing.”
“Please, just let me help fix your arm.”
I sighed. “If I let you help me, would you stop harassing me?”
He nodded. “I’ll take you to the hospital.”
I knew that getting into a walang tiyak na layunin stranger’s car wasn’t a good thing, but he seemed legit. And I wasn’t worried about his drinking, he only had one beer. He took me to the ER anyway. I got the glass taken out and stitched up.
“Thanks,” I told him when I got out.
“No problem. sa pamamagitan ng the way, I didn’t get your name.”
“Samara,” I told him.
“Devin,” he held out his hand. I shook it.
“Well, nice knowing, you, Devin,” I said, and walked out.
ONE
I sat on the bed. Doing nothing. Nothing. Nothing. I looked at the clock. Friday, five-fifty-eight PM. Five-fifty-nine. Waiting. Waiting. puso pounding. Counting seconds. Every week. Every week, SHE came. SHE would try to kill me. Then I would scream for help and they would come. Then I would get a lecture that nothing was there, possibly some treatment or whatever. Then susunod Friday at six, it would happen again.
Forty-five seconds. I glanced at the book. I brought it with me. That way, no one else would read it. It was old and leather-bound, and had pictures of a little girl. Her life. Her diary. Her family. Her story.
Her death.
Thirty seconds. SHE would come. Every week Maysilee came. She would try to kill me. Someday she would succeed. Then she would kill anyone closely associated with me. I had no family, no friends. Just the doctors. I wasn’t sure if they counted.
Fifteen seconds. I didn’t know much about my “condition.” They sinabi I was schizophrenic, that I see and believe things that aren’t real. But they are. They really are real. I am not mad. I’m not. I’m not. The things are real. Real real real real real.
Three. Two. One.
Time’s up.
I looked up. There she was, right on time. A little girl, with straight black hair covering her face. In a dress, madami of a rag, really. Barefoot, holding a ripped up, abused teddy madala in one hand. The girl from the book. Maysilee.
She stepped forward. I took a deep breath, getting ready for my cry for help. I had one chance at this, and if they didn’t hear or didn’t get here in time, I would already be dead, because my cry would make Maysilee mad and just kill me sooner.
I screamed for help. Maysilee disappeared as they came in. Even though this went on for years, I was still scared to death every time. I leaned against the wall, panting.
“Samara, there is no one here,” sinabi Barbara, one of my doctors. “We’ve talked about this.”
I tried to hold it in. I really did. But I still started screaming, in the angry way this time, which I had never done before. I slapped Barbara. “WHY CAN’T YOU LISTEN TO ME? SHE’S TRYING TO KILL ME! GET HER AWAY FROM ME! BELIEVE ME! SHE’S REAL! REAL! BELIEVE ME! WHY CAN’T YOU BELIEVE ME?”
Two people came over with a tranquilizer. I continued screaming until I was completely under. “She’s….coming….for….me….” was all I could say before I Nawawala consciousness completely.
I woke up slowly. I was on a hospital kama and couldn’t ilipat anything below my neck. There were bruises everywhere, and a long cut on my arm. I began to freak out when Barbara came over.
“Do you know why you’re here?” she asked.
I shook my head. “You’re here because of what you did. We were going to let you sleep for a while. But you woke up and completely lashed out. Do you remember?”
I shook my head again. “Well, you’ve been medicated. It’s new stuff, and there is only one way to test it. But get some rest, I’ll tell you about it later.” She got up and left.
* * *
I woke up the susunod day, I think. I felt better, less numb. Barbara came.
“Come on! We need to be there in twenty minutes!” I got up. To my surprise, I was already in the normal hospital clothes and not the hospital gown.
I followed Barbara through hallways, looking down. I wasn’t the craziest in the bunch, but everyone knew me. Most people, anyway. They knew my pattern, every Friday at six PM sharp. They thought I was crazy. A new girl, one with bad hallucinations, sinabi my story was too much like this movie--I forget what it’s called--to be real.
We walked into a room with five other patients. I knew two of them. The girl I mentioned with the hallucinations, Becky, was looking a little scared. She had dark skin and short black hair, with gray eyes. Then Jared, some guy who went completely crazy at walang tiyak na layunin moments, sat susunod to her. He had pale skin and blond hair with blue eyes. I didn’t know anyone else. I took my seat.
Barbara stood at the front of the room. She began to speak. "As you may know, we have developed a new medication for schizophrenia, hallucinations, and delusions. The six of you have one of those, or something similar. There is only one way to test the medication that we can think of. The hospital environment is not a good environment to test it. Therefore, we are going to send you outside in the real world for a year."
Becky's eyes lit up. Slowly, everyone else realized what it meant. There were smiles and whispering. I stayed silent.
"You each need to be injected with the medicine and wait for three hours for it to go through your system. Samara already has been injected. The process may seem scary, but it isn't. Tell us how you feel, Samara."
I spoke up for the first time in a while. I sounded fine. "Umm, a little dizzy, but other than that, I'm okay."
The other five nodded. Some looked nervous, others excited. Barbara cleared her throat. We all looked up.
"There are some things we need to explain. First, every week, the same araw your launch was, we will come to your assigned apartment to give you another dose. Second, you will each have an identity to follow. Most of it is real, we just filled in some other things. Third, there will be no contact with family members. If you must, you have to say you are still in the hospital. No contact in person." Everyone nodded.
A girl with short, spiky pale bond hair, pale skin, and light blue eyes said, "Why us?"
Barbara replied, "Because you are the ones with very few people who care about you. No one will notice you if you're gone."
"Why?" Becky asked.
"We were going to keep this from you, but, let me explain. This is the best we have ever gotten with cures. Nothing has worked on you six. If this doesn't work, there are," she took a breath and hesitated, as if looking for the right words, "Drawbacks. If it doesn't not work, then, there is a chance you will snap completely. Go completely violent. Dangerous. We would have to….cancel you."
Cancel. Kill. We all knew it. It had happened only once before. Now it might happen o the six of us. Great. I was completely sane. I know all insane people think that, but I knew. So no matter what, I was going to be cancelled. If Maysilee didn't get to me first.
A sound escaped me. Maysilee. Who would be there to make her go away? She would surely kill me in the most horrible, terrifying ways. I hoped I could make it through the year. I didn't know how they would kanselahin me, but it would be less terrible, surely. Nerve gas. A lethal injection. Bullet to the head. Something. If she didn't get to me first…
The boy susunod to me nudged me. "Wandering off again," he whispered. Huh. I must do that a lot.
I looked at Barbara. "So you chose us because you think that because no one cares about us, you can kill us?"
Barbara looked stumped. "I…uh…"
"You thought we wouldn't figure it out? We're people, Barbara, not lab rats."
"That's Dr. Marin to you!" she snapped at me. She returned to normal and changed the subject. "You will each be launched tomorrow. Samara, please go with Dr. Ackard."
I followed Dr. Ackard out the door. "What are we doing?" I asked her.
"We'll be going back to your room. You will get your few belongings then I will make you look socially acceptable. You will be launched at ten."
I looked at my watch. It was Saturday, seven AM. I must've been out for a while. Dr. Ackard gave me a small bag. I filled it with the things I wanted to take—Maysilee's book, a jacket, my posters, the various activities I had, which were just drawing things, books, and a hemp bracelet kit. I sat down on a chair.
Dr. Ackard was nice. She sinabi I could call her Debby. I took a shower, then let my mind wander as she pulled a brush through my thick brown hair. It was wavy and shiny when it was dried and brushed. She put a clear amerikana on my nails and told me to get dressed.
Five minutos later, I came out of my bathroom with skinny jeans, a black t-shirt, and some boots that were hard to walk in with three inch heels. I got used to them, though. Six years ago, I had a normal life. Junior in high school. Straight A's. Excellent parents. I had a little brother, Jeremy, who was nine. Maysilee killed them all. He was only nine…
I started to choke up as she did my makeup. I stopped before she could see me. I looked at my watch. It was already nine thirty. We got up and into a little airplane. I was in a mental institute in California. We were on our way to Oregon. I didn't know where, just Oregon.
"Here," Barbara said, "This is your purse. Look through it, it has everything about you."
I did as I was told. There was an I.D. that sinabi I was twenty-three, born April 14, 1986. Correct. I was 5'9" and 113 pounds. Correct. Same with the driver's license. I was pretty sure I could remember how to drive.
I looked through the other things. I was unemployed and just moved to the town. I lived in an apartment in downtown Portland. I owned a Chrysler.
"Everything will be provided for you in the beginning," Barbara said, "but you will need to get a job. There is a hundred thousand dollars in your bank account, so you should be good for a while. There is furniture and a stocked fridge, as well as clothes. It's a very nice apartment."
"Thanks," was all I could say.
I sat and looked over madami things. Debit card. Keys. I was ibingiay a Blackberry. I looked at the date, December 13. That petsa sounded familiar. I tried hard to remember. Oh yeah, I had a best friend named Maggie. Her paborito singer's birthday was today. Maysilee killed her, too.
I fell asleep.
TWO
When we landed, it was all a blur. Getting off the plane. Driving to my apartment. I was left alone after I was showed around the place.
I sat on the couch. I loved the place. It was huge and spacious and probably expensive. The hospital would pay half my rent, so I only had to pay about six hundred dollars a month. The bedroom had a map. After looking around and getting used to the place, I fell asleep.
When I woke up, it was twelve-ish. I made lunch, which wasn't much, and turned on the TV. I watched walang tiyak na layunin pelikula for a while. I turned to some horror movie. But, even though it was fake, it made me freak out. The little girl. The video. It reminded me too much of Maysilee's curse. I looked at the pamagat of the movie. The Ring. I would never watch this movie again.
I drove around a while. There wasn't much traffic, and apparently I could drive pretty well. There were a few shops worth checking out. I stopped at a bar, but didn't get anything. I was driving. I stopped at a park, and checked out a science museum. I loved the museum, so I got a membership. I got hapunan at a nice little restaurant. I went back home.
It was eight. I had left at three. I was gone for five hours. Wow. Time flies. I changed and went to bed.
The susunod day, I got up around eightish. I found a nice outfit in the closet and got dressed. I turned on the computer and checked my email. There was one from Barbara.
Samara,
How was your first day? Hopefully it wasn't too hard. We found a few jobs you might like. Of course, there are many places that do not want people who will only work for a short time. If you want, you can find a job yourself. If not, tell us and we'll email you the list. We don't want your job to seem forced, so you can find one yourself.
The other five are being launched today. Below is a paglalarawan of each patient so you can recognize them if it comes to it.
Rebecca Ashton: 25, dark skin, short black hair, gray eyes. 5'4", average weight. Lives in Bend, Oregon.
Jared Markes: 19, average skin, dark blond hair, blue eyes. 6', average weight. Lives in Beaverton, Oregon.
Kalea-Marie Starkeson: 18, tan skin, light brown hair, brown eyes. 5'6", slightly plump. Lives in La Grande, Oregon.
Mark McNab: 27, average skin, black hair, hazel eyes. 5'10", slightly skinny. Lives in Kennewick, Washington.
Larissa Kent: 21, pale skin, pale blond hair, light blue eyes. 5'2", skinny. Lives in Seattle, Washington.
Hopefully this helps. If you want phone numbers or any other information, email me. Good luck.
-Barbara Marin
I stared at the email. I didn't care. I had a life now. I could do what I wanted. I got up out of the chair and made breakfast. Wondering what to do for the day, I decided to take the MAX to a few places.
First I went to the bookstore. I got a few that looked interesting, like Matched and Impossible. They looked like books I would like.
I went to a nice little park and stated pagbaba Impossible. It started out good. Hours passed and I was pretty far in. When I looked at my watch, it was already twelve.
I walked to the bar I saw earlier. It started raining. I walked a little faster, but sa pamamagitan ng the time I got there, my hair was soaked. I walked in and a little kampanilya rang.
The place was deserted, almost. There was a girl in a red tank tuktok and skinny jeans working as the bartender, and a guy sitting and watching some sports game. He seemed oblivious.
I sat down and ordered french fries. I didn’t feel like drinking. I watched the game off and on, ate, read my book. I eventually ordered a beer. The guy kept watching his game.
About an oras passed. The guy got up. He tripped over something and knocked over my barstool, sending my into a glass bulaklak pot.
“Dammit!” I sinabi as my left arm started bleeding, “watch where you’re going susunod time!”
“I am so sorry!” he said, and tried to help me up. “Here, let me help you.”
“Get the hell away from me! I don’t even know you!” I winced as I sat up. There was glass stuck in my arm, and the water from the bulaklak pot was starting to turn red. The bartender came over.
“Oh god! Do you need me to call the hospital or something?” she asked.
“No, I’m fine,” I sinabi to the lady.
“Really, let me help you,” the guy sinabi again.
I turned to him. “I already told you! I don’t need any help!” I stood up.
He calmed down. “I am sorry.”
“Whatever.”
“Seriously, though, you should go to the hospital or something.”
“Seriously, though, I’m fine,” I said, getting a little annoyed.
“Just…let me help. In some way.”
“Why are you so determined to help me?” I asked him firmly. My arm was bleeding badly.
“Because I would feel bad if a walang tiyak na layunin stranger bled out or got seriously injured because of me and I did nothing.”
“Well, I hope you don’t feel bad because I’m refusing.”
“Please, just let me help fix your arm.”
I sighed. “If I let you help me, would you stop harassing me?”
He nodded. “I’ll take you to the hospital.”
I knew that getting into a walang tiyak na layunin stranger’s car wasn’t a good thing, but he seemed legit. And I wasn’t worried about his drinking, he only had one beer. He took me to the ER anyway. I got the glass taken out and stitched up.
“Thanks,” I told him when I got out.
“No problem. sa pamamagitan ng the way, I didn’t get your name.”
“Samara,” I told him.
“Devin,” he held out his hand. I shook it.
“Well, nice knowing, you, Devin,” I said, and walked out.
she unloads his gun
She and he waits for this
he releases his love
In blue and green orbs
she gives him madami and more
A million miles away
A million years girl
In a black woven chest
he digs his nails deep
She trusts in him for what he does
live in a house in the suburbs
He kisses the pain with blood and light
sleeping it off in the morning
A million miles away
A million years girl
In her world of his
she unloads his gun
In a world of his
she covers the sun
A million miles away
A million years
A million years girl
Well you see
I'm not myself anymore
Well you can see
What I've done
Blinded myself
Nawawala my direction
In this times
That are getting cold
In this moment
To behold
And shine
Here's a poem
For all the loved ones
Here's a grave
For all the dead
Here's the oxygen
For all the living
Here's a tissue
For tears that are shed
I'm Nawawala now
I'm here now
I'm Nawawala here
sa pamamagitan ng Myself
I'm gone now
I'm Nawawala again
I'm lost
sa pamamagitan ng myself
Well take your houses
Take your money
Take the things you don't need
Live the life
You've always wanted
And then burn the memories
Take the good times and the bad
Take the happy maybe the sad
And turn, turn yourself around
I'm Nawawala in my own fairytale
Where I'm the winner
All over again
in my daydreams I've Nawawala all hope
All ambition
Looking and losing an only friend
I'm Nawawala now
I'm here now
I'm Nawawala here
sa pamamagitan ng Myself
I'm gone now
I'm Nawawala again
I'm lost
sa pamamagitan ng myself
I'm lost
I'm here
I'm Nawawala here
sa pamamagitan ng myself
I'm Nawawala now
I'm here now
I'm Nawawala here
sa pamamagitan ng myself
sa pamamagitan ng myself
I'm not myself anymore
Well you can see
What I've done
Blinded myself
Nawawala my direction
In this times
That are getting cold
In this moment
To behold
And shine
Here's a poem
For all the loved ones
Here's a grave
For all the dead
Here's the oxygen
For all the living
Here's a tissue
For tears that are shed
I'm Nawawala now
I'm here now
I'm Nawawala here
sa pamamagitan ng Myself
I'm gone now
I'm Nawawala again
I'm lost
sa pamamagitan ng myself
Well take your houses
Take your money
Take the things you don't need
Live the life
You've always wanted
And then burn the memories
Take the good times and the bad
Take the happy maybe the sad
And turn, turn yourself around
I'm Nawawala in my own fairytale
Where I'm the winner
All over again
in my daydreams I've Nawawala all hope
All ambition
Looking and losing an only friend
I'm Nawawala now
I'm here now
I'm Nawawala here
sa pamamagitan ng Myself
I'm gone now
I'm Nawawala again
I'm lost
sa pamamagitan ng myself
I'm lost
I'm here
I'm Nawawala here
sa pamamagitan ng myself
I'm Nawawala now
I'm here now
I'm Nawawala here
sa pamamagitan ng myself
sa pamamagitan ng myself
An Angel
A Demon
A battle
Raging in
The night sky
Asphyxiation
A sweet sensation
No one knows the
Beckoning thought
In the bounds of your
Mind
The angel knelt down
On the cold winters ground
Spoke a soft prayer
Looked into the empty night air
Saw an image of himself
Asphyxiation
A sweet sensation
No one knows the
Beckoning thought
In the bounds of your
Mind
The demon summoned all his courage
And broke through the cage
He found no reason
He drew back his army
And walked to the angel in harmony
With a fanged smile
From the demon
A wicked gleam
From the angel
They made their truths
Asphyxiation
A sweet sensation
No one knows the
Beckoning thought
In the bounds of your
Mind
No battle
No challenge
Peace
Amongst two forces
Now bonded
Inseparable
A Demon
A battle
Raging in
The night sky
Asphyxiation
A sweet sensation
No one knows the
Beckoning thought
In the bounds of your
Mind
The angel knelt down
On the cold winters ground
Spoke a soft prayer
Looked into the empty night air
Saw an image of himself
Asphyxiation
A sweet sensation
No one knows the
Beckoning thought
In the bounds of your
Mind
The demon summoned all his courage
And broke through the cage
He found no reason
He drew back his army
And walked to the angel in harmony
With a fanged smile
From the demon
A wicked gleam
From the angel
They made their truths
Asphyxiation
A sweet sensation
No one knows the
Beckoning thought
In the bounds of your
Mind
No battle
No challenge
Peace
Amongst two forces
Now bonded
Inseparable
I need you
from the first moment i saw you
I need you
because you're the air i breathe
I need you
because you're the water i drink
I need you
because just the thought of seeing you makes me want to get out of bed
I need you
because you can with just one smile make my whole world starts to turning again
I need you
because you make me wake up from my the most horrible nightmare without fear
I need you
because you can give me hope when i don't have one
I need you
because even if I'm at the bottom,you're always there to help me stand up
I need you
because in this cruel world you keep me alive
I need you
because i know that you'll never give up from me
I need you
because when no one believed in me you were there to stand up for me
I need you
because you're everything for me
But the most important thing why i need you is
because I'll always pag-ibig you!
This was in my head so i just thought to write it
from the first moment i saw you
I need you
because you're the air i breathe
I need you
because you're the water i drink
I need you
because just the thought of seeing you makes me want to get out of bed
I need you
because you can with just one smile make my whole world starts to turning again
I need you
because you make me wake up from my the most horrible nightmare without fear
I need you
because you can give me hope when i don't have one
I need you
because even if I'm at the bottom,you're always there to help me stand up
I need you
because in this cruel world you keep me alive
I need you
because i know that you'll never give up from me
I need you
because when no one believed in me you were there to stand up for me
I need you
because you're everything for me
But the most important thing why i need you is
because I'll always pag-ibig you!
This was in my head so i just thought to write it
priceless and important,
gives you the roads
and leaves you choices
of which your luck depends on.
This is your life
and you live it
wrapped sa pamamagitan ng sadness
or happiness.
Who cares?
This is your life,
invisible for others.
You pick the road
and pray that the choice
is right,
but life loves you not,
that's you who pag-ibig
the joy of life.
Life,
priceless and important,
gives you choices,
unpredictable events,
grays and hope,
and life is all yours.
But, the tanong is
will you remain sane
even though your life
is cruel to your dreams,
will you remain sane
even when your life
is dying in your eyes.