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posted by emilyroxx
There was a website, or phone calling service, or something, that would answer tanong about Australia for people that were vacationing there. Some of the tanong weren't very intelligent, so the people who answered the tanong decided to have fun with them.


Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow...
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posted by KateKicksAss
This is a bunch of the funnies FML's I've found on FML lately.
Credit: link




"Today, I went to the pelikula with my boyfriend. As we got to the ticket booth, a couple of girls queued behind us. My boyfriend graciously introduced me as his little sister, and invited the girls to sumali us. We've been together for two years. FML"


"Today, I found out that my dad makes me wear dresses and skirts not because I look pretty in them, but because he was sick and tired of people asking him if I was a boy or a girl. FML"

"Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the...
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so you guys know the omegle trolling fad that someone started on this spot?

well i have been trolling on omegle but ive started to do it a different way.

so i find some ho....rny guy and look up dirty pics of girls, and link them and laugh as the guys goin on about how hott the girl is and tlaking about his reactions to the pics (if u kino what i mean). I claim the girls are me, and they always believe it.

i honestly think both male and female "parts" are gross, but guys madami gross than girls. Im a girl.

FML
posted by Lunalovely
Okay so I have a confession that i want to take off my chest. You guys are the only ones I trust.No one and I mean no one in my school is my friend. i do have a friend one I've had since I was 3, but she lives in New York City, and I like like 30 minutos away in Westchester County. And we have different styles, making it hard for us to enjoy stuff together,and I feel like our friendship is slipping.

So you guys are basically my only friends, and I don't even know how you look. And now that people are leaving I feel like this friendship is falling apart as well.I just need to tell you guys how much I care about you and how much I need you in my life.

Another thing is that around others people think that I pag-ibig to be alone, but I really don't.I mean it's better than hanging with these think-they're-ghetto, can't-be-trusted smuts, but I still need people in my life.Thanks for curing my loneliness, you guys are amazing
[b]Credit: link

How do you know people don't like your friend? Oh, I don't know, how about the fact that...

1. Your mom can never remember your friend's name. She even guesses. "Oh, is your friend... uh... Tasha coming over?" Your friend's name is not Tasha. It's Kate.

2. Your Dad always seems to disappear when Kate comes over. "Well, I should go paint the garahe door now." "Now?" "Yep, no time to waste. Just have to pick up a Kate of paint... I mean, a can of paint from the store."

3. Your little brother rolls his eyes at her name. "Kate's coming over? Does she have to?"

4. Your mom defends Kate...
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posted by emilyroxx
So, I dreamed that I was on a bus, and my bus driver was none other than the hated teacher at my school. As in all of my other dreams, I didn’t find anything wrong with this, but I did feel like something was off. All of a sudden, the bus stops and she turns around and says, “Alright, I want everyone to tell me where the lord God told (what she probably sinabi was Moses, but I just looked it up right now to find out what the story was. Because I didn’t know anything about the 10 Commandments, the word ‘Moses’ sounded garbled. Things in my dream that I don’t know anything about are...
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Look at the latest post in my room if you do not understand.

"My good mood has been ruined. Apparently there have been burglaries in my SMALL town, and the people come from the alley and smash the windows. They have mga baril too, and it's been four days and they haven't been caught. Also, it's dark, and the wind is hissing, and the thunder is extremely loud.every small noise from the storm makes me think that it's those people.
I'll type up the letter the police put on our door when I get on a computer."

------------------------------------------------


Dear Neighbor,

Over the past few days there have...
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All of you, every Biggerstaff, is valuable in my heart. None of you should leave but then again, thats my opinion. Kate and Accio, you shouldnt feel out of place because you fit the puzzle.

Our whole family is a puzzle. Every Biggerstaff has a spot where they fit and complete the puzzle. Without one peice we are not joined together and we are not one. What happens when you take one peice of the puzzle off? Well, the puzzle isnt as strong, its madami vunerable, and eventually other puzzle peices fall off too. That basically means that if one person leaves for good, we could lose the whole family...
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posted by lucius_malloy
With my compulsory education, that is.
And because I am feeling very something-y, I decided to tell you all a little about that compulsory education. You can tell me to shut up if you like :D

Anyhow, I survived this compulsory education without ever
- getting detention
- getting a 7 or worse on a ulat card (scale of 4-10)
- wearing make-up to school
- drinking
- smoking
- using other illicit substances
- getting suspended or expelled
- getting sent to the principal's office
- telling a teacher to fuck off (I did lecture my homeroom teacher about respect once though)

Things I achieved were
- getting a...
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posted by DracoLuver
You're now chatting with a walang tiyak na layunin stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hey
You: Yo
Stranger: howdy
You: Bonjour
Stranger: sup
You: Hola :p
You: DO YOU LIKE POPCORN
Stranger: YES
You: WITH OR WITHOUT BUTTER?
Stranger: so whats up?
You: D: Nothing, watching basetball
You: Basketball*
Stranger: fun.
You: YES, IT IS
You: Have you watched Harry Potter?
Stranger: which one?
You: Any of them
Stranger: yes.
You: Do you know any of the spells?
You: Did you know, Voldemort doesn't have a nose because of plastic...
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Scene 1: Friends

(laughing)

Kenzie: It just wouldn’t be the same without you Jaide!

Lauren: You crack me up!

Sara: Isn’t it a bit rude?

Imogen: Oh lighten up Sara!

Sara: Sorry! But what if she hears!?

Jaide: It’s only Janet!

Kenzie: Well we can’t just sit here all day! Let’s go skating! Jaide, you can ipakita us your moves!

Scene 2: Skating

Lizzie: Hi Guys! What are you doing here?

Lauren: We wanted some fun!

Lizzie: I can do a spin on the ice!

Jaide: Well goody for you!

Kenzie: Don’t be so rude! (giggles)

Lizzie: Also, check out my new phone! Smile for the camera!

Scene 3: The Miracles +1

Lizzie:...
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posted by Italktosnakes
I'm kinda thinking about leaving fanpop. I mean, I don't know- I just don't feel like any of you really like me that much. And, excluding Izzy and maybe Best, I don't really speak to any of you anymore. I kinda feel like an outsider, which is sad, cause I used to feel like one of the ones that you all liked. I've been thinking this kind of thing since about...you know, the whole BOTM thing started. Cause I know I only got picked because I thought I wouldn't, so I basically got a pity vote. It just made me feel like at school again, when you get the pity choice in PE class. It kinda sucks.
I...
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So this is my response to this article, the "One Last Go At a Joint Account":
link

Please madala in mind that this is just my opinion, and I'm not trying to offend anyone or anything.

First off, making another joint account isn't going to stop anything.
Sure, maybe no one knows the password yet, but if anybody's going to go abusing anonymous accounts, there are two other ones that they can do that from. There's "xbiggerstaffx" and "MrMsBiggerstaff". They don't need to know about the new account. And besides, even if they did, they could just wait around for a while, and THEN abuse the new account....
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posted by WeRBiggerstaffs
Here's one last attempt at a joint account.

This joint account abuse is getting the best of us. I've been thinking that maybe this is a bad idea, but it's also the best thing that's ever happened to us. We need this. We need to be able to share a special bond of trust, but somebody is preventing it. This needs to end now. We're going to try one madami time, and if this goes bad, we'll have to give up on this prospect.

Here's a few things we should all know about the new joint account.

*This password is DIFFERENT from the other two.
*If you want the password, you have to PM this account.
*I'm only going to give the password out to ONE person a day, so I'll go on a first come, first serve basis. That way, if the crazy anon abuses this, we'll know who doesn't have the password yet.
*Please don't give the password to anyone else, even a fellow trusted Biggerstaff. I know it's not easy, but we have to take percussion.
posted by MrsPadfoot
Dear Biggerstaffs,

Summer is right around the corner for me, and as I sit in my bedroom on Memorial Day, scrolling through the pader posts, I realize that this is no longer family to me. I can't keep up with the family anymore, and the puno alone confuses me. I know that I wasn't one of the original Biggerstaffs, but I'm sixty percent sure I was one of the firsts outside the original. I don't know, don't take my word for it.

I am not saying that this makes me any better than the new ones, just pointing out that I've seen this family grow quite a bit. It didn't bother me at first, I mean, I was...
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Gemonk posted a tanong asking what the three things that annoyed you most were. I tried to answer, but unfortunately it was too long and it wouldn’t let me post it. So, I decided to make my answer an article.


1. People who immediately change the subject when they know you have a point.

2. People who try and convert me and then say I'm not Christian because I believe in reincarnation and not hell and then start trolling me about it.
Example:
Religious-nut: Do you believe in God?
Me: What?
Religious-nut: Do you???
Me: I guess...
Religious-nut: Good. Do you believe he's out savior?
Me: I- what?
Religious-nut:...
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50 Things to Do During An Exam When Your Going To Fail Anyway

1.Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutos early.

2.Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!"

3.If it is a math / science exam, answer in essay Form. If it is long answer / essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

4.Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

5.Talk the entire way through...
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posted by wotcher-tonks
Okay, so I was bored one araw and I decided to post an internal argument of good and evil. See, I was getting my mga kaibigan to tanong my sanity, so I was pretending to be an evil genius. I actually conquered two of my friends' minds and they became my evil minions! Then, I got bored with being evil and I asked my minions what I should do instead. One told be to be a unicorn and the other told me to be a pickle...Since I already am a unicorn and the idea of being a atsara makes me sick to my stomach, I decided to make this up! This is what goes on in my head...

Evil sits at his evil working space,...
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Angelica waited in fear for the 3 ladies to reach her. The stranger with long blond hair walked over to her and whispered in her ear.
"Dont be firghtened, You are special, like us. Thats all No need to be afraid. You have clearly came to us". Angelica was rather calm now. She had ran away to find people like them. That cared, that showed respect, and so much more. So far, these people had what it took. One of the ladies with black hair approached her. She didnt look very young but not very old. She must had been middle-aged. She turned to the stranger with blond hair "Is she like us, Zanny?"....
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Angelica bounded through the trees, fighting to stay calm. It was so weird to not be in such a controlled enviornment and be so free out there. She was from a formal british family. The kind of family that kept you behind invisible bars sa pamamagitan ng controlling your world but in the end nobody can control your feelings. Angelica had ran away from the constant horror of her old life. She was tired of being her parent's slave. She was tired of being a doll. They dressed her up in tight dresses that could choke you since she could remember. Now, she wasnt in a tight dress. Instead she wore a MJ t-shirt...
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