Dragons Fight Back Gag Reel

Zero_Delta posted on May 09, 2012 at 01:36AM
Come on, everyone makes mistakes. Post funny mishaps or poor decisions that could have happened to your Fight Back character.
Not part of the role-plays? Who cares! Just stick yourself in the action and join the fun!

Rules(Even though I hate 'em):
1) What happens on this forum stays on this forum.
2) Put some context so we know what's going on, a punchline without the rest of the joke sounds stupid.
3) Screw the rules, You know how to act, right?

Dragons 87 ang sumagot

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sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Zero_Delta said…
The Alliance VS Bloodhawk battle.

Thunderhawk: Okay, we need a distraction. *Vanishes*
*Reappears dressed like a drag queen* "Hey, look!"

Bloodhawk:*Nosebleed* Wha-?
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
Twera's Arrival

Twera: <Crap, coming in too fast…> "Coming in!" *misses mountain entirely*
last edited sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Zero_Delta said…
Right after Twera's arrival, argument with Nemesis.

Nemesis: "DO NOT SPEAK OF FREEZING FLAME!"
Thunderhawk: "Catfight! My money's on the ugly one!"
Nem & Twera: *Evil glare*
Thunderhawk: "Ah haha.... I'm going to die a horrible death now, aren't I?"
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
The Demon Battle, in which Clat and Glid Escape

Twera: *fighting off demons*
Clat: *gnawing at harness*
Glid: Can't you go any faster?
Clat: You try it then, if you think you can do it better.
Twera: *falls from the group of demons, barely conscious*
Clat: *hanging half out of the harness* This is embarassing. I really hope we get another take.
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Zero_Delta said…
Thunderhawk preparing the healing 'goop' for Twera.

Thunderhawk: *Somehow spills the mix on his private area* "Dammit, what a mess." *Cleans up and puts everything away*

The next morning
Thunderhawk: "I feel funny..." *Checks himself* "AWW, F***! I'M A WOMAN!!"
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
Twera sealing the Door

Twera: I…forgot my line…Could we try again?

Twera: *seals the Door, then tries to fly through* OW! Guys, let me through!
Thunderhawk: *on the other side, watching and laughing*
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas greekgirlA said…
let me try this...

Nemesis:*flying in snow storm* wow, this is hard. *knocks over cardboard mountain with wing* shit!
Director: CUT!
Nemesis: sorry. i realy thought i had it that time.
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
This is so fun.

Twera's opening speech

Twera: …and there's no way you can slap together a plan without me.
Director: CUT! Twera, it's "there's no way you can coordinate an army without me."
Twera: Well, that won't work anyway. You can't have an army without a plan.
Clat: *offstage* JUST GET THE LINE RIGHT SO WE CAN MOVE ON!
Director: *exasperated* Ok, one more try. Twera, please get this right. And…ACTION!
Twera: …and there's…there's…*starts laughing*
Director: What now?
Twera: Nothing.
Director: I expect "nothing" is going to ruin this film. Try again.
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Zero_Delta said…
smirk
Thunderhawk trapped in the human's mind.

Thunder: "SO. MUCH. PORN. WHHHHYYYYY??????
Twera: "You know you like it."
Thunder: "Maybe I would if I had a body at the moment..."
Nemesis: "Wait, you get off to humans?"
Thunder: *Indignant* "NO, it's fantasy role-play. An elf and a really little dragon."
Nemesis: "But the actors are still human..."
Thunder: "You gotta respect the art-form!"
Twera: *Disgusted* "... I got nothing."
Thunder *To self* "Oh, he's eatin' that elf good."
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
Twera digging her nest

Twera: *frantically starts digging, throwing dirt everywhere*
Thunderhawk: Watch it! *dirt lands on the fire, putting it out*
All: *growls, eyes gleaming in the dark* ((think cartoons))
Director: CUT! Will someone relight the fire? And, Twera, try not to throw the dirt everywhere.
Nemesis: *while director and Twera talk* I still don't see how you two are related.
Thunderhawk: It's a long story.
Nemesis: We have time. How long is it?
Thunderhawk: About six books, a movie, and a bunch of outtakes.
Nemesis: Fascinating…
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Zero_Delta said…
Flying to Eden.

Thunder: *Dives down to grab a small tree* "This one will do good." *Grabs the tree, it stretches, but doesn't come out.* "Aww, S-" *Tree snaps back, throwing Thunder to the ground* "Ooowwwwww... Medic..."
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas greekgirlA said…
Nemesis: i do not listen to impulses.*snorts*
Director:*shakes head* cut, cut,cut,cut,CUT!
Thunderhawk:wow, nemesis, what kind of impulses?
Nemesis:the ones to become Harry Potter.
Twera: that is a long story i suppose.
Nemesis: ya. realy long. like, if you wrote it all down it would take up...like, 7 books.
Thunderhak:or 8 movies.
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
Pulling scales

Director: You're going to have to pull out a scale for this scene.
Twera: WHAT?!? ARE YOU INSANE?
Thunderhawk: *to Nemesis* She's going to flame him.
Nemesis: *to Thunderhawk* Then we'd need a new director. Just watch.
Director: It'll grow back.
Twera: *grumbling* Sure. You said the same thing sixteen takes ago, and my *bleep*ing scales STILL haven't grown back.
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Zero_Delta said…
Not based on events of the RP.

Sea serpent: "Hello there, dragon."
Thunder: "How's it going?"
*Conversation*
Thunder: "So, do you like fish sticks?"
Sea serpent: "DO YOU KNOW HOW OLD THAT DAMN JOKE IS?!?!"
Thunder: "Geeze, I guess you don't." *Throws box of fish sticks on the beach and flies away*
Sea serpent: "Wait... he was being serious..." *Looks at the fish sticks* "Damn I'm hungry."
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
Offstage

Twera: *stumbling around, blind* How much longer do I have to wear this?
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas greekgirlA said…
Freezing Flame

Nimi:*blows fire*
Nemesis:*freezes flame* this is a- *cuts off and sneezes at nimi.* sorry...oops.
Nimi:*frozen with shocked expression.*
Nemesis:i don't remember that in the script.
Director:will someone please unfreeze Nimi?
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
The Hatching of Cla

Twera: *runs over to the egg and starts pulling off bits of shell, revealing a fist on a spring, which promptly punches her*
Thunderhawk: *quietly laughing and filming with his cellphone*
Director: CUT! What on Earth is going on here?
Twera: *sarcastic* An egg just punched me, what else?
Director: Where's the egg that was on set an hour ago?
Thunderhawk: Well, it grew legs and walked away.
Director: *glares*
Thunderhawk: It's an egg, that's what it does.
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas greekgirlA said…
Bridge.

Nemesis: so i have waste my ice on a brdge the humans don't want? why would i do that?
Director: it's in the script.
Nemesis: screw the script!
Director: i can replace you.
Nemesis: fine.*an hour later* haaaaaaaaaaaaa, hhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, ha,ha,ha, haaaaaaaaa. i'm out. *half formed bridge falls apart.* and so is that. next time let's use the special effects.
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
Off set

Me: Twera, you really have to learn your liines. This isn't rehearsal.
Twera: I know, I know. But when I get up there, Thunderhawk makes me laugh so much I forget.
Me: Maybe I'll talk to that pair later.
Twera: *hurredly* No, you don't have to.
Me: I'm your agent. I'm supposed to make you look good.
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Zero_Delta said…
After the 'Goop attack'.

Thunder: "Damn dark dragons almost got me on their side.
Twera: "What did they do? Attack your mind?
Thunder: "No, they... They..."
Nemesis: "Oh, spit it out!"
Thunder: *Nearly crying* "They offered me cookies!!!"
Everyone: *Facepalm*
Nemesis: "...Wait, wasn't that my joke?"
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas greekgirlA said…
Battle

Nemesis:*fly around fake killing people.* hurra!
Shadow: what about the dark side miss?
Nemesis: you got cookies?
Shadow: no. *get's head ripped off by nemesis*
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Zero_Delta said…
Battle.

Dark dragon: *Breathes fire on Thunderhawk, has no effect.* "What? You should be dead?!"
Thunder: *Grinning* "Force-field."
Dark dragon: "Wait, isn't that like God-modding or something?"
Thunder: "Nope, I have a valid explanation for it."
Dark dragon: *Unconvinced* "Oh, really?"
Thunder: *Gives a long and technical description of various theories about electromagnetism, ionized plasmas, ect.*
Dark dragon: *Head explodes*
Thunder: "Well, science isn't for everyone." *Goes back to fighting.*
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
Watching end credits

Twera: *bleep*! Thunder's before me! That's *bleep*ing not fair! I had a muchh bigger role in this picture!
Me: Twera, please stop swearing. Otherwise we'd have to change the rating
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas greekgirlA said…
Offstage
Nemesis: *practicing lines* twenty thousand twera. all armed with plastic hammers and toy guns.
Twera: what do we do?
Thunderhaw: *laughes*
Nemesis: i dont exactly know. thought you'd come up with something.
Twera: i'm 18! your ******* 3,000! where's all that wisdom with age go?
Nemesis: i lost that with my virginity twenty years ago.
Thunderhawk: wow. that's worse than the 40 year old virgin.
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
Offstage

Older Clat: I'm exactly as mean as I look. I have my own plan. You're not going to stop me.
Nemesis: I know I'm not………but your mother can.
Older Clat: *pales* You're…you're…not bringing her HERE, are you?
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Zero_Delta said…
Offstage.

Director: *Angry* "OKAY, what happened to the scripts!?"
Thunder: "Sorry, I had a chemical spill in my trailer."
Director: "And?..."
Thunder: "I had to spend the night with Nemesis."
Director: "And?..."
Thunder: "Do you know how cold she keeps it in her trailer?"
Director: *Getting angrier* "What does that mean?"
Thunder: *Defensive* "Well, I had to keep warm somehow."
Director: *Barely controlling himself* "So you burned the scripts?"
Thunder: "Well, I may have mixed then in with the props..."
Director: *Trembling with rage* "Why didn't you sleep with Twera?"
Thunder: "What?! She's my sister! ...Not that I got any anyhow..."
Director: "You are so lucky that you're armor plated and twenty times my size..."
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
Meanwhile…

Me: You should be nicer to Thunderhawk.
Twera: *defensive* Why?
Me: HE'S YOUR *bleep*ING BROTHER!
Twera: And they tell ME to cut down on the swearing. Humaansd can be such hypocrites.
Me: Get used to it. You still have a lot more of this picture to go.
Twera: *bleep* *bleep* *bleep*
Me: That's my girl.
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Zero_Delta said…
Meanwhile, in Asia...

Chinese Dragon: "I fear the balance of the world has been upset, we must do something."
Japanese Dragon: "Bah, let the humans build a giant robot. That always seems to work."
Chinese Dragon: *Sighing* "What have you been doing with your time?"
Japanese Dragon: "Watching Anime, Now leave me be, I'm missing Bleach."
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
Another meanwhile, with the Great Ones

Fan: Wow, you guys are HUGE!
Water: So?
Fan: Can I get your autograph?
Fire: Why?
Fan: So I can prove I met you.
Draco: Sell it for more autograph money is more like it.
Loudspeaker: Great Ones to hair and makeup.
Air: That's our cue!
Darkness: Why do they say hair and makeup? We don't even havehair.
Time: That, dear brother, is the greatest mystery of all
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Zero_Delta said…


Director: "CUT! Why can't you get your lines straight?"
Thunderhawk: "'Cause it's not what I would say."
Director: *Holds out arms* "Look at all the F***s I give!" *Several birds land on him*
Thunderhawk: "Looks like you have eight of them."
Director: *Glares*
Thunder: "Oops, eight and a half, one of 'em just laid an egg."
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
((Didn't quite get that one…))

Director: Twera, please speak English. There's no money in the budget to subtitle everything you say.
Twera: *as she speaks, subtitles appear* Voila! See? Subtitles.
Director: Wait…that…that shouldn't happen…
Twera: *with subtitles* You'redirecting a movie starring real dragons aand you're surprised by a bit of magic? Here I was, thinking rocks were dense…
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Zero_Delta said…
((There's several images online of people holding their hands out, or holding an empty container, and saying "Look at all the F***s I (Don't)give." It means that they don't care. The birds flew into the director's 'empty space', thus utterly changing his meaning.))

Between scenes

Thunderhawk: *Rigging up pyrotechnics*
Director: "What are you doing?"
Thunderhawk: "This is an action movie, with dragons. We need more fire and explosions."
Director: "Uh,huh whatever." *Small firework goes off* "JESUS!"
Thunderhawk: "No, that was an M-88, 'Jesus' is the 30 inch mortar over there."
Director: "You're going to kill us all..."
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
While Thunderhawk is setting up fireworks

Twera: He's not going to kill us ALL, just a couple stunt doubles.
Director: But we didn't hire anystunt doubles…
Twera: Oops…
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas greekgirlA said…
and that is blasphemy.
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
What is?
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Zero_Delta said…
mischievous
@ Greek: What? Naming the mortar Jesus?
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
cool
Might be my idea
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Zero_Delta said…
Still working on pyro.

*Huge flame crosses the stage*
Thunder: "Flamethrower's working! Now we don't have to worry about Twera's dragon-breath anymore!"
Twera: "What are you saying brother?"
Thunder: "Err, nothing, I mean, it's perfectly normal."
Twera: "I'm gonna flame you to ****ing ash."
Thunder: "But that's the problem that I'm solving..."
Twera: *Evil glare*
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
The ancient book

Twera: It's the way the book is. It knows what you need and will change accordingly.
Nemesis: That's a clever idea.
Twera: It's not MY idea, though. Wait, look. The book is changing. *the writing on the page changes*
Thunderhawk: What's it say?
Twera: That you're an idiot.
Nemesis: Where does it say…*Twera points to the page*…well, it does.
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Zero_Delta said…
Thunderhawk: "You know, I just realized something, we're all naked."
Everyone: "..."
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
Clat's death

Twera: *pushes Clat's head against the rocky ground*
Director: CUT! No, no, no! You'redoing it all wrong.
Twera: Am I? *lets Clat up*
Clat: *stretches out her neck*
Director: Yes, you are. You need to really force her head to the ground.
Twera: What if I hurt her?
Director: In all honesty, the rocks will be hurt more than her.
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas greekgirlA said…
offstage

Thunder: so you want to see a movie later?
Nem: depends on the movie
Thunder: how about tangled, that movie makes me cry
Nem: *shakes head* your such a girl
Thunder; OK, what movie would you see?
Nem: sniper, or red, or maybe the avengers
Thunder: ya, and your not a girl
Nem: do you even know what though movies are?
Thunder: nope. but i assume their romantic
Nem: *shakes head* why do i bother?
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
Somewhere off set

Twera: *trying to go into one of the human's trailers* Why. Don't. I. FIT!!!
Me: because you're twice as big as the trailer.
Twera: Are you calling me fat?
Me: *thinking quickly* No, I'm calling you a dragon.
Twera: What's the difference?
Me: In all honesty, not much
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Zero_Delta said…
Outside the studio.

Thunderhawk: "Hey, cool! It's the joker!"
The Joker: "Hey, pal. Put 'er there." *Holds out hand*
Thunderhawk: "Sweet." *Holds claw out for handshake*
Joker: *Evil grin, killer joy-buzzer goes off*
Thunderhawk: "Ye-ow! Hey, I can do that too!" *Shocks Joker*
Joker: *Falls over, dead*
Thunderhawk: *Slightly concerned* "... Hey guy, you alright?"
last edited sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
First day of shooting

Twera: I can't believe they're doing a movie!
Me: It's not like you didn't know.
Thunderhawk: She's always been like that. It'll be interesting to see her character. Me on the other hand…
Twera: You walked out on the family!
Thunderhawk: How many times do I hhave to apologize?
Twera: *walks ahead a ways, then turns her head back* Just the once. It's funny to hear you say it. *walks into the studio gate*
Thunderhawk: *laughing* And THAT is worth doing this movie!
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Zero_Delta said…
Creating the fake Clat.

Thunderhawk: "It's alive, it's alive! IT'S... Trying to mate with me... Why is it always the ugly ones?"
Real Clat: "What did you just say?" *Evil look*
Thunderhawk: "Errr..."
Twera: "I better not have heard what I think I did."
Director: "You better have a good explanation, we don't have a big enough budget to replace you, and I am NOT getting between a bunch of dragons."
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas greekgirlA said…
meeting .....ah crap! what's his name? oh well.

nem: lands n cave*
old dragon:hello nemesis.
nem: how do you now me?
old dragon: t's in the script.
nem: hell, your in the script but i don't know you!
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
Somewhere in the studio…

Glid: Where are those damn dragons? I think I'm lost. I know I made a left at the giant hand…or was it a foot?
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas Zero_Delta said…
Director: "AND, ACTION!"
*Massive explosion*
Director: "JESUS!!!"
Thunderhawk: *Coughing* "Yeah, Now let's try to get out of here before stage two goes off."
Director: "Stage two!?!"
Thunderhawk: "Stage two is "Resurrection," something that we'll need if we don't get away in time."
Director: "I hate being right."
sa loob ng isang taon na ang nakalipas dragonsmemory said…
The council

Fire: *staring into the bowl* Am I supposed to see something? Because all I'm seeing is a bowl of dishwater from the diner set across the way.
Air: How do you know?
Fire: Says so, right on the bowl. Kindof ruins the effect.
Draco: Shouldn't we work on the scene?
Life: Great idea. *dumps water on Draco*