(The Cheerios were practicing a routine in the gym room, and their coach, Sue Sylvester was watching uncomfortably. She was rubbing her stomach and her forehead, wondering what was going on with her. She grabbed her megaphone to yell at her hard-working Cheerios.)
Sue: Ladies, this is a disappointment!
Santana: Coach Sylvester, we've been doing this for 4 hours today already.
Brittany (confused): Really? (She spoke to herself.) Damn, I can't count time...
Sue: You look like baby elephants swinging from vines here. Let's look light and alive, people!
(Coach Roz, coach of the swim team, could be heard from the gym entrance. She shook her head and shouted to Sue.)
Coach Roz: You're the one to talk, Sylvester!
Sue (turning to Coach Roz): You again?
Coach Roz: In all my days of coaching a synchronized swimming team, I've never seen worse leadership than this. You mind handing me that megaphone of yours? In your condition, you're too weak to even pick up a marble sa pamamagitan ng your chimpanzee-sized feet.
(A few Cheerios laughed at Coach Roz's joke. Sue, annoyed, looked up at Coach Roz.)
Sue: And what makes you think I'm too weak to run a cheerleading squad?
Coach Roz: Look at you! You're lazier than the fat guy from the chicken and isda commercials. That baby bump's gonna get bigger and bigger, until an elepante head comes squeezing out of your snake hole. Believe me, you won't be as strong as I sooner or later.
Sue: You really think so?
(Coach Roz nods. Sue turns to her Cheerios and tells them to go over the routine they practiced today. They did a good job even though they were tired. Coach Roz yawned.)
Coach Roz: Okay, I understand if this was a circus stunt. Now get ready for the pumped-up ride of your life.
(Twenty minutos later, all of the Cheerios except Becky and Santana were doing Coach Roz's version of the routine. All of the girls were crumping, and Brittany was the center of attention. At the end everyone applauded, Santana being the loudest.)
Cheerio #1: Amazing!
Cheerio #2: Coach Roz, that was awesome!
Brittany: That's better than what I see at the May araw Parade.
Coach Roz (to Sue): The fans have spoken, Sylvester. You might as well hang up your pompons, your weakening vocal cords, and your weak ass. Wanna know why? I'm taking these Cheerios to the national championships.
(The kampanilya suddenly rang. Coach Roz and the Cheerios left the gym room. Becky stayed behind to talk to Sue.)
Becky: I'm sorry she treated you that way, Coach.
Sue: No, you're not.
Becky: What do you mean?
Sue: I saw you. You and Brittany were both pumping your little watermelons out of your leotards. I can't blame you, though. Yelling at you is like killing a baby deer. Brittany, on the other hand, is as dumb as Lindsay Lohan, and it's very irritating.
Becky: You need to take care of yourself so you can raise your baby. I'll still be there to help lead Cheerios.
Sue (smiling): You just made my day, Beckster. I'm glad I made you co-captain. Now could you please help with the equipment?
Becky: Got it, Coach.
(As Becky went to get the Cheerios equipment, Sue got up and started walking down the hall to the teacher's lounge. Some teachers spotted her and laughed.)
Teacher #1 (pointing to Sue's stomach): Look who came from the pagkain court.
Teacher #2 (laughs): And I thought my mother's sister was the biggest disappointment I've ever seen.
(Enraged, Sue goes over and pulls the segundo teacher out of his chair sa pamamagitan ng the sando collar.)
Sue: Listen here, pal! I'll have you know that I have a baby girl here swimming in this little pool sac as known as a womb. I'm still the same on the inside. Now if you try and make me mad one madami time, I'll have everyone in this room hung on tuktok of the Eiffel Tower sa pamamagitan ng your ears! You listening to me is definitely not the worst pain in the world! Don't act like you're trying to disrespect me, 'cause I'm a championship-winning Cheerios coach--best in the U.S. Beat that, you filthy, no-good losers!
(Sue walked out of the room, trying to calm down from her little rant. The other teachers looked around.)
Teacher #3: What the hell was that?
Teacher #4: Fat b*tch...
So, what did you think? I hope you liked it.
Here's the link for Chapter Twenty-Nine!!!
Here's the link for Chapter Thirty-One!!!
Sue: Ladies, this is a disappointment!
Santana: Coach Sylvester, we've been doing this for 4 hours today already.
Brittany (confused): Really? (She spoke to herself.) Damn, I can't count time...
Sue: You look like baby elephants swinging from vines here. Let's look light and alive, people!
(Coach Roz, coach of the swim team, could be heard from the gym entrance. She shook her head and shouted to Sue.)
Coach Roz: You're the one to talk, Sylvester!
Sue (turning to Coach Roz): You again?
Coach Roz: In all my days of coaching a synchronized swimming team, I've never seen worse leadership than this. You mind handing me that megaphone of yours? In your condition, you're too weak to even pick up a marble sa pamamagitan ng your chimpanzee-sized feet.
(A few Cheerios laughed at Coach Roz's joke. Sue, annoyed, looked up at Coach Roz.)
Sue: And what makes you think I'm too weak to run a cheerleading squad?
Coach Roz: Look at you! You're lazier than the fat guy from the chicken and isda commercials. That baby bump's gonna get bigger and bigger, until an elepante head comes squeezing out of your snake hole. Believe me, you won't be as strong as I sooner or later.
Sue: You really think so?
(Coach Roz nods. Sue turns to her Cheerios and tells them to go over the routine they practiced today. They did a good job even though they were tired. Coach Roz yawned.)
Coach Roz: Okay, I understand if this was a circus stunt. Now get ready for the pumped-up ride of your life.
(Twenty minutos later, all of the Cheerios except Becky and Santana were doing Coach Roz's version of the routine. All of the girls were crumping, and Brittany was the center of attention. At the end everyone applauded, Santana being the loudest.)
Cheerio #1: Amazing!
Cheerio #2: Coach Roz, that was awesome!
Brittany: That's better than what I see at the May araw Parade.
Coach Roz (to Sue): The fans have spoken, Sylvester. You might as well hang up your pompons, your weakening vocal cords, and your weak ass. Wanna know why? I'm taking these Cheerios to the national championships.
(The kampanilya suddenly rang. Coach Roz and the Cheerios left the gym room. Becky stayed behind to talk to Sue.)
Becky: I'm sorry she treated you that way, Coach.
Sue: No, you're not.
Becky: What do you mean?
Sue: I saw you. You and Brittany were both pumping your little watermelons out of your leotards. I can't blame you, though. Yelling at you is like killing a baby deer. Brittany, on the other hand, is as dumb as Lindsay Lohan, and it's very irritating.
Becky: You need to take care of yourself so you can raise your baby. I'll still be there to help lead Cheerios.
Sue (smiling): You just made my day, Beckster. I'm glad I made you co-captain. Now could you please help with the equipment?
Becky: Got it, Coach.
(As Becky went to get the Cheerios equipment, Sue got up and started walking down the hall to the teacher's lounge. Some teachers spotted her and laughed.)
Teacher #1 (pointing to Sue's stomach): Look who came from the pagkain court.
Teacher #2 (laughs): And I thought my mother's sister was the biggest disappointment I've ever seen.
(Enraged, Sue goes over and pulls the segundo teacher out of his chair sa pamamagitan ng the sando collar.)
Sue: Listen here, pal! I'll have you know that I have a baby girl here swimming in this little pool sac as known as a womb. I'm still the same on the inside. Now if you try and make me mad one madami time, I'll have everyone in this room hung on tuktok of the Eiffel Tower sa pamamagitan ng your ears! You listening to me is definitely not the worst pain in the world! Don't act like you're trying to disrespect me, 'cause I'm a championship-winning Cheerios coach--best in the U.S. Beat that, you filthy, no-good losers!
(Sue walked out of the room, trying to calm down from her little rant. The other teachers looked around.)
Teacher #3: What the hell was that?
Teacher #4: Fat b*tch...
So, what did you think? I hope you liked it.
Here's the link for Chapter Twenty-Nine!!!
Here's the link for Chapter Thirty-One!!!
uy guys, i dont know if you heard about it, but Jane Lynch, Sue Sylvester from glee is coming to Palmetto-Florida for a fundraiser for Palmetto Rowing Crew on May, 14. The event includes the chance of winning 25,000 dollars for the first prize and much more, it also includes the honor of MEETING her (NOT ONLY THE WINNER, everybody who buys a ticket will meet her) , all you have to do is buy a ticket from one of the Crew members, for madami information contact the email: palmettocrew@gmail.com ! LIMITED # OF TICKETS AVAIBLE!
You got called out sa pamamagitan ng Madonna?
Jane Lynch: That was a big moment. Chris Colfer, who also got called out sa pamamagitan ng Madonna, came over to me, shaking, with his phone and sinabi “read this”, and we held each other tenderly.
Ryan did confirm last weekend. He sinabi “Hopefully there will be a segundo Madonna episode susunod year.”
Jane Lynch: That would be great! We just scratched the surface with her. We’ve not yet begun to pay homage to Madonna.
I think maybe one Madonna episode each year.
Jane Lynch: Oh, absolutely. It will always be the best episode of the year. I’m sure!
10 seasons of Glee, 10 Madonna episodes.
Jane Lynch: I pag-ibig it. Yes!
source:www.absolumentmadonna.fr
Dianna on ’sniper’ paparazzi: “In L.A., you almost never see them. Sometimes it will be bought to my attention sa pamamagitan ng someone on my team or one of my mga kaibigan will email me and say ‘Isn’t this picture of you funny?’ But it’s strangest when you don’t see them…They’ll get pictures of you’re laughing and it looks like you’re smiling at them. That’s the strangest part. Guerrilla-sniper paparazzi.”
Mark on whether they’re actually getting ubas slushie dumped on them: “It’s actually botox, so that we keep our youthful glow. Actually, we go back and forth between real slushies and this synthetic mixture.”
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