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posted by katlovesbtr
Harry Potter Jokes

Why did Harry potter?
Because he didn’t feel like rushing!

What’s the difference between a wizard and the letters M A K E S?
One makes spells, the other spells makes!

Why was Dobby always saying sorry?
Because he had low elf-esteem!

What did Harry's godfather say when Harry kept poking him?
"That's enough now Harry! I'm Sirius!"

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
You know!
You know who?
It's okay, he's dead! You can say his name now, silly



knock knock.
who's there?
wingardium levio.
wingardium levio-who?
It's wingardium leviosAAAAAAAAR

How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb?
None — wizards don’t use electricity!

Why did Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road?

So no one could tell what side he was on.

A blind wizard walks into a pub. He says to the barkeep, "Want to hear a Hufflepuff joke?" The pub goes completely silent. The barkeep says, "Sir, I am a Hufflepuff. I'm used to handling a rough crowd alone. I have my wand drawn. The wizard to your left is an auror with his wand drawn. He too is a Hufflepuff. The witch on your right has her wand drawn. She is a dueling champion and also a Hufflepuff. Are you absolutely certain you want to tell that Hufflepuff joke?"

The blind wizard says, "Gods no! Not if I'm going to have to explain it three times!"

What do you get when you tumawid Crookshanks with McGonagall

Really ugly kittens
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Source: zimbio.com
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Sorry About this I actually published the whole thing so far previously but removed it because it was too long so I will be putting up 3 chapters at a time from now on.

This is only temporary and the beginnings of a MASSIVE tagahanga fic. So can you just tell me if you like it? That would be great! :)

DISCLAIMER - I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters. I do own Alex, though.

Note - It’s based on a sort of mixture between the book and the movie, but the characters’ appearances and personalities are madami like the adaptions in the movie.

Prologue

The rain beat down into the grey looking...
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Harry is in the forbidden forest, standing in front of Voldemort, about to give up his life. The book states "...and Harry thought inexplicably of Ginny, and her blazing look, and the feel of her lips on his--".

Now, a basic pagbaba of this moment and people would think Harry's last thoughts were of halik Ginny. Those who ship Harry with someone other than Ginny, will have his last thoughts be of that girl. For example, Harry and Hermione shippers, via the use of screen sombrero from the movies, will have Harry's last thoughts be of her.

However, what if there was madami to this moment than meets...
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LORD Voldemort is definitely NOT Harry's dad. Rowling has a retort for anyone who develops this theory: "You lot have been watching much too much bituin Wars."
LORD Voldemort is definitely NOT Harry's dad. Rowling has a retort for anyone who develops this theory: "You lot have been watching much too much bituin Wars."LORD Voldemort is definitely NOT Harry's dad. Rowling has a retort for anyone who develops this theory: "You lot have been watching much too much bituin Wars."LORD Voldemort is definitely NOT Harry's dad. Rowling has a retort for anyone who develops this theory: "You lot have been watching...
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There was a time when he loved her. A time when he actually could love, and she'd get him to do so again.

His name was Tom, she had met him during her first taon at Hogwarts. He was in her herbology class, and was really the only thing that made actually ipinapakita up to the class worth while. At that point it was all too simple; two eleven taon old children playing petty pranks in between classes and exchanging silly notes in the middle of class, mostly consisting of ridiculous and poorly drawn pictures of her dear cousin Sirius. The two would often sit before a apoy in the common room and simply...
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