Ooooo deary me,
My little brother's in his bedroom smoking weed,
I tell him he should get up cos it's nearly half past three
He can't be bothered cos he's high on THC.
I ask him very nicely if he'd like a cup of tea,
I can't even see you cos the room is so smokey,
Don't understand how one can watch so much TV,
My baby brother Alfie how I wish that you could see.

Chorus
Oooooo I only say it cos I care,
So please can you stop pulling my hair.
Now, now there's no need to swear,
Please don't despair my dear Mon frere.

Ooooo Alfie get up it's a brand new day,
I just can't sit back and watch you waste your life...

When she was 22 the future looked bright
But she's nearly 30 now
and she's out every night
I see that look in her face
she's got that look in her eye
She's thinking how did I get here
and wondering why

It's sad but it's true how society says
Her life is already over
There's nothing to do and there's nothing to say
Til the man of her dreams comes along picks her up
and puts her over his shoulder
It seems so unlikely in this araw and age

She's got an alright job
but it's not a career
Wherever she thinks about it,
it brings her to tears
Cause all she wants is a boyfriend
She gets one-night stands
She's thinking how...