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j1edwardcullen7 said:
**To be honest, what I'd WANT to do is jump on a plane, first fucking thing to go see Mikey. But, you know, I'd get there and only be able to realistically spend 6 hours with him. Plus, those 6 hours would only be devastating to him. And it'd be really hard to get on a plane. So, I'd then want to call him and talk to him all day, crying and saying goodbye. Or spend it with family, and him. I dunno. But I know I couldn't do that to them, because they could never see me in a dying fashion. They could never see me in a fashion that they have to imagine me gone in a few hours. It's not fair to them.**
First, I'd write goodbye letters to everyone I love... very personal, but uplifting, hopefully.
I'd then call Mikey, and tell him I loved him, and send him an E-mail, since I'm unaware of his address. [I'd still write him a letter]
After that, I'd halik my family goodbye, and go somewhere where no one knows me, or I can be alone, because no one needs to see me die. They'd be sad.
When I'm alone, I'd do something fun. Considering this sounds like a slow painful death, I'd shoot myself in the head. XD Kidding. If it's painless, I'd get so fucked up on drugs, to see what the hype was about. I'd try to write out everything I knew. Then listen to music. Once I noticed I'm beginning to die, I'll agnostically pray (since I don't believe in God, but I believe he COULD exist... rather that there's a higher being) that I'll be okay after death and not rotting somewhere. And that some kid will call me on an Ouija board one araw so I can really, possibly literally, scare the shit out of someone. :P
My death'd be really lonesome. I hope that I never have to 'see it coming,' if you know what I mean. It'd be really hard to handle; I'd want to be gone already, and not have to wait, and I'd want to have madami time all at the same time. I'd be panicking the entire time, probably in hysterics. This is strictly what I would do, if I could plan. But see, the thing is's that plans don't necessarily work out for this kind of thing, because you don't actually plan to be in this kind of situation. And if you're ill with something terminal, you can't necessarily determine how your last hours are going to be spent, until they occur. It's not something planned; and when it happens, you have no common sense. You have instinct - and instinct is very irrational in these circumstances.
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