#1:
Critic: So our story begins when they spot two children who, you guessed it, stopped caring.
Friend Bear: Hi. I'm Friend Bear, and this is Secret Bear. We're Care Bears. (both stand up and pose)
Jason: (in disgusted tone) What do you want?
Friend Bear: Only to be your friends.
NC (vo): Actually, I always wondered what counted as quote/unquote "Caring." I mean, if I'm ordering a pizza with a friend, is it like...
[Cuts to skit with two NCs talking to each other]
NC 1: Hey, what kind of toppings you want?
NC 2: Eh, I don't care. (In panicked tone) No, no, wait! I didn't mea- (sparkling effects sound and NC moans lightly).
Care madala (off-screen): Hi. We're the Care Bears, and everybody has to care about something--
(NC brings out his gun and starts shooting at the Care Bears as they are heard screaming.
#2:
NC: You know...dick. Cause that's what you are, a fucking dick. When you ipakita this image of the American flag destroyed...
(Such an image is shown)
NC (vo): ...you're not just ipinapakita your dollar store symbolism that says "ooh, America's hurt."
NC: But, it's very clear that what is important to you is not how you view America. What is important to you is how others see you viewing America. So, you can make up whatever you want. You can fabricate things, you can lie about history.
(The hospital attack is shown)
NC (vo): You can exaggerate, you can glorify, you can demonize, you can distort the facts.
NC: You can make up the truth. Make up the truth about people who Nawawala their lives in this great tragedy. Why? Because you're doing it in the name that you (thumping his chest) fuck pag-ibig America. (now in full-on serious mode) I'm sorry! I-I-I don't fuck around with this shit! I don't, okay? These are people who have Nawawala their lives, people who have been drafted, people who volunteered, people putting their asno on the line, and many of them don't come back! You're taking it upon yourself to ipakita that! And, I-I know what you're thinking, yeah, you're thinking, "Well, I'll just make up people, because they weren't really there, so I can do whatever I want with them, I can make shit up." And granted, you don't deserve the responsibility to ipakita real events. You don't live in the real world! But what happens is that when you take it and base it on a real event, you have to ipakita these real people. You have to get it right, Michael Bay! You have to get it right! Because this, this isn't Transformers, okay? That's kid's shit, you can do whatever you want. It's not The Rock! It's not Sean Connery saying "winners fuck the prom queen!" No, it's fuck Pearl Harbor! Reality! It actually happened! And I know you're thinking, "Well, it's Hollywood, we take liberties." Fuck you, it's not Hollywood! When you take it upon yourself to represent something that really happened and is still painful and hurts a lot of people, that means you have to do two things. One, you have to grow up and be an adult! Two, you have to actually represent these people as best as humanly possible, YOU SON OF A BIIIIIIIIITCH!!!!!!
#3:
Maxie: (narrates) Hortense and Bernice married Kirk and Dirk, who are gloatingly thinking they've got it made. And here we have the ecstatic newlyweds Angelica and William, together with Mother Nanny, Granny, Victoria and the grandchildren, and the dalmatians and their children. Well, here's hoping they all live happily ever after. See you soon.
NC: HAPPILY EVER AFTER?! What the hell is wrong with you?! This isn't a postcard! This is the sinking of the fucking Titanic! If you wanted to be really faithful, you would've said…
NC (voiceover): (as Maxie) Kirk and dirk got married to the evil stepsisters, William and Angelica married, as well as adopted the two Dalmatians, (An old black-and-white illustration of the real-life Titanic sinking is shown) and over 1,500 died in one of the world's largest and most tragic disasters. See you soon!
#4:
Nostalgia Critic: So the old wins in this situation. Does that mean I don't like "The Dark Knight"? Not at all. I just like "Batman" a little more. And, uh, my only hope is that Christian Bale doesn't take what I sinabi about him too seriously— [The Critic's cell phone rings] 'Scuse me. [Opens and sagot it] Hello?
Christian Bale: [Utilizing audio from his infamous rant] What the fuck are you DOING?!
Nostalgia Critic: I'm sorry, man, I just thought—
Christian Bale: No, don't just be sorry. THINK for one fuckin' second!
Nostalgia Critic: Well that's not very nice.
Christian Bale: What the fuck is it with you? Are you professional or not?
Nostalgia Critic: Well, I don't like to brag, but—
Christian Bale: Fuck's sake, man, you're amateur!
Nostalgia Critic: Look, I don't know why you're getting so angry—
Christian Bale: No, shut the fuck up!
Nostalgia Critic: Maybe I could, uh—
Christian Bale: No! NO!! I wanna fuckin' kick your fuckin' ass!
Nostalgia Critic: Why are you so angry? I just don't get it.
Christian Bale: What don't you get about it?
Nostalgia Critic: Hold on, hold on. [Addresses the viewers] I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to. [Resumes the call]
Christian Bale: Gimme a fuckin' answer!
Nostalgia Critic: I just don't get why you made Batman sound like he had lung cancer.
Christian Bale: Ohhh, good for you! You're a nice guy.
Nostalgia Critic: Why thank you!
Christian Bale: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Nostalgia Critic: YOU shut up! Go make "Reign of apoy 2"!
Christian Bale: No!
Nostalgia Critic: YES!
Christian Bale: NO!!
Nostalgia Critic: YES!!
Christian Bale: Fuck's sake.
#5:
Nostalgia: Hello, I’m the…Nostalgia Critic. (pauses) I remember it so you don’t have to. And… (He looks up to scan the entire group before lowering his head again in a bit of shame and speak quickly) I kinda like “Spider-Man 3.”
(All the people in the group shout in outrage, and one male gets on a mesa to pound on it in rage),
Nostalgia: I do!
#6:
Pistachio: You know, I could tell just sa pamamagitan ng looking at you. (holds up a mini-corn dog and a small handful of nuts) You have a little wiener...and some tiny nuts. Oh, yeah.
NC: (bursts into loud, over the top, sarcastic laughter, that gets madami and madami hysterical, he then gets out of his chair and leaves the room. Cut to outside where Jim Jarosz is on his cell phone when NC comes out with a baseball bat, continuing to laugh hysterically while beating him down. He then sees Prof. Birmingham Dickens.)
Dickens: Oh, hello.
(A crazy-laughing NC runs up to him and beats the professor down as well. NC then looks at the camera like a wild man and starts running towards him as the cameramen tries backing away but is too slow and Critic beats down the cameraman).
NC: (continues to laugh like a maniac as he throws the bat away and walks off screen left. The camera then pans down to the carnage NC has left as we see Prof. Birmingham Dickens put his pipe into his mouth. Cut back to NC's room as he calms down and sits back down in his chair.)
NC: (suddenly conscious) Where was I the last two minutes?
#7:
Nostalgia Critic: Fucking-A, this is My Little parang buriko fanfiction! Can't you just see an episode ending like that?!
[cuts to a clip of My Little Pony]
Fluttershy: Anyone who would give their soul for love, has the power to change the world! Isn't that right, Ghost parang buriko Rider?
Ghost parang buriko Rider: (demonic roar)
Fluttershy: Right!
#8:
Critic: FUCJKING BUBBLES!!
#9:
Mark: I used to know this girl who had a dozen guys. One of them found out about it, beat her up so bad she wound up in a hospital on Guerrero Street.
[Johnny laughs]
Nostalgia Critic: That's not funny, you sick fuck.
#10:
Denny: I just like to watch you guys.
NC: (stunned again) Uhhhhhh...
#11:
Blade: Some motherfuckers are always tryin' to ice-skate uphill...
Nostalgia Critic: That is a really weird note to go out on.
#12:
Pennywise: I’ll ipakita you how to FLOOOAAAT down here.
Critic: Why doesn’t he just EAT these fucking kids? He’s eaten like half of the other kids in the neighborhood! Why doesn’t he just finish them off? I mean, what the hell is madami important in his time?
Critic: (imitates Pennywise) RARRR, I've got you now, little boy! (beeping sound, and he looks at his watch) Oh, my God, it’s almost 3:00! (The Critic leaves the screen camera from the left and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song plays.)
#13:
(The kusina phone rings, and Tory sagot it)
Tory: Hello? Hello? Help us, please! Come help us! We’re trapped inside of here!
Pennywise: Do you have Prince Albert in a can? You do? Well, ya better let the poor guy out! Wha-haw! Wha-Haw! Wha-Haw!
(Tory hangs up and tears the phone off the wall)
#14:
Malus: HOW'D IT GET BURNED, HOW'D IT GET BURNED?!
Critic: Somebody lit it! Somebody lit it!
#15:
Tender Heart: Magic isn't the answer, Nicholas. Your feelings can help you find the true answer.
NC: Yes. Just listen to the magic, talking bear.
#16:
bravo Heart: Everyone in the Forest of Feelings knows of Playful puso Monkey and bravo Heart. [Cuts to scene from Mel Gibson's Braveheart]
NC: I know, I know. But how can I not put that in?
Critic: So our story begins when they spot two children who, you guessed it, stopped caring.
Friend Bear: Hi. I'm Friend Bear, and this is Secret Bear. We're Care Bears. (both stand up and pose)
Jason: (in disgusted tone) What do you want?
Friend Bear: Only to be your friends.
NC (vo): Actually, I always wondered what counted as quote/unquote "Caring." I mean, if I'm ordering a pizza with a friend, is it like...
[Cuts to skit with two NCs talking to each other]
NC 1: Hey, what kind of toppings you want?
NC 2: Eh, I don't care. (In panicked tone) No, no, wait! I didn't mea- (sparkling effects sound and NC moans lightly).
Care madala (off-screen): Hi. We're the Care Bears, and everybody has to care about something--
(NC brings out his gun and starts shooting at the Care Bears as they are heard screaming.
#2:
NC: You know...dick. Cause that's what you are, a fucking dick. When you ipakita this image of the American flag destroyed...
(Such an image is shown)
NC (vo): ...you're not just ipinapakita your dollar store symbolism that says "ooh, America's hurt."
NC: But, it's very clear that what is important to you is not how you view America. What is important to you is how others see you viewing America. So, you can make up whatever you want. You can fabricate things, you can lie about history.
(The hospital attack is shown)
NC (vo): You can exaggerate, you can glorify, you can demonize, you can distort the facts.
NC: You can make up the truth. Make up the truth about people who Nawawala their lives in this great tragedy. Why? Because you're doing it in the name that you (thumping his chest) fuck pag-ibig America. (now in full-on serious mode) I'm sorry! I-I-I don't fuck around with this shit! I don't, okay? These are people who have Nawawala their lives, people who have been drafted, people who volunteered, people putting their asno on the line, and many of them don't come back! You're taking it upon yourself to ipakita that! And, I-I know what you're thinking, yeah, you're thinking, "Well, I'll just make up people, because they weren't really there, so I can do whatever I want with them, I can make shit up." And granted, you don't deserve the responsibility to ipakita real events. You don't live in the real world! But what happens is that when you take it and base it on a real event, you have to ipakita these real people. You have to get it right, Michael Bay! You have to get it right! Because this, this isn't Transformers, okay? That's kid's shit, you can do whatever you want. It's not The Rock! It's not Sean Connery saying "winners fuck the prom queen!" No, it's fuck Pearl Harbor! Reality! It actually happened! And I know you're thinking, "Well, it's Hollywood, we take liberties." Fuck you, it's not Hollywood! When you take it upon yourself to represent something that really happened and is still painful and hurts a lot of people, that means you have to do two things. One, you have to grow up and be an adult! Two, you have to actually represent these people as best as humanly possible, YOU SON OF A BIIIIIIIIITCH!!!!!!
#3:
Maxie: (narrates) Hortense and Bernice married Kirk and Dirk, who are gloatingly thinking they've got it made. And here we have the ecstatic newlyweds Angelica and William, together with Mother Nanny, Granny, Victoria and the grandchildren, and the dalmatians and their children. Well, here's hoping they all live happily ever after. See you soon.
NC: HAPPILY EVER AFTER?! What the hell is wrong with you?! This isn't a postcard! This is the sinking of the fucking Titanic! If you wanted to be really faithful, you would've said…
NC (voiceover): (as Maxie) Kirk and dirk got married to the evil stepsisters, William and Angelica married, as well as adopted the two Dalmatians, (An old black-and-white illustration of the real-life Titanic sinking is shown) and over 1,500 died in one of the world's largest and most tragic disasters. See you soon!
#4:
Nostalgia Critic: So the old wins in this situation. Does that mean I don't like "The Dark Knight"? Not at all. I just like "Batman" a little more. And, uh, my only hope is that Christian Bale doesn't take what I sinabi about him too seriously— [The Critic's cell phone rings] 'Scuse me. [Opens and sagot it] Hello?
Christian Bale: [Utilizing audio from his infamous rant] What the fuck are you DOING?!
Nostalgia Critic: I'm sorry, man, I just thought—
Christian Bale: No, don't just be sorry. THINK for one fuckin' second!
Nostalgia Critic: Well that's not very nice.
Christian Bale: What the fuck is it with you? Are you professional or not?
Nostalgia Critic: Well, I don't like to brag, but—
Christian Bale: Fuck's sake, man, you're amateur!
Nostalgia Critic: Look, I don't know why you're getting so angry—
Christian Bale: No, shut the fuck up!
Nostalgia Critic: Maybe I could, uh—
Christian Bale: No! NO!! I wanna fuckin' kick your fuckin' ass!
Nostalgia Critic: Why are you so angry? I just don't get it.
Christian Bale: What don't you get about it?
Nostalgia Critic: Hold on, hold on. [Addresses the viewers] I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to. [Resumes the call]
Christian Bale: Gimme a fuckin' answer!
Nostalgia Critic: I just don't get why you made Batman sound like he had lung cancer.
Christian Bale: Ohhh, good for you! You're a nice guy.
Nostalgia Critic: Why thank you!
Christian Bale: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Nostalgia Critic: YOU shut up! Go make "Reign of apoy 2"!
Christian Bale: No!
Nostalgia Critic: YES!
Christian Bale: NO!!
Nostalgia Critic: YES!!
Christian Bale: Fuck's sake.
#5:
Nostalgia: Hello, I’m the…Nostalgia Critic. (pauses) I remember it so you don’t have to. And… (He looks up to scan the entire group before lowering his head again in a bit of shame and speak quickly) I kinda like “Spider-Man 3.”
(All the people in the group shout in outrage, and one male gets on a mesa to pound on it in rage),
Nostalgia: I do!
#6:
Pistachio: You know, I could tell just sa pamamagitan ng looking at you. (holds up a mini-corn dog and a small handful of nuts) You have a little wiener...and some tiny nuts. Oh, yeah.
NC: (bursts into loud, over the top, sarcastic laughter, that gets madami and madami hysterical, he then gets out of his chair and leaves the room. Cut to outside where Jim Jarosz is on his cell phone when NC comes out with a baseball bat, continuing to laugh hysterically while beating him down. He then sees Prof. Birmingham Dickens.)
Dickens: Oh, hello.
(A crazy-laughing NC runs up to him and beats the professor down as well. NC then looks at the camera like a wild man and starts running towards him as the cameramen tries backing away but is too slow and Critic beats down the cameraman).
NC: (continues to laugh like a maniac as he throws the bat away and walks off screen left. The camera then pans down to the carnage NC has left as we see Prof. Birmingham Dickens put his pipe into his mouth. Cut back to NC's room as he calms down and sits back down in his chair.)
NC: (suddenly conscious) Where was I the last two minutes?
#7:
Nostalgia Critic: Fucking-A, this is My Little parang buriko fanfiction! Can't you just see an episode ending like that?!
[cuts to a clip of My Little Pony]
Fluttershy: Anyone who would give their soul for love, has the power to change the world! Isn't that right, Ghost parang buriko Rider?
Ghost parang buriko Rider: (demonic roar)
Fluttershy: Right!
#8:
Critic: FUCJKING BUBBLES!!
#9:
Mark: I used to know this girl who had a dozen guys. One of them found out about it, beat her up so bad she wound up in a hospital on Guerrero Street.
[Johnny laughs]
Nostalgia Critic: That's not funny, you sick fuck.
#10:
Denny: I just like to watch you guys.
NC: (stunned again) Uhhhhhh...
#11:
Blade: Some motherfuckers are always tryin' to ice-skate uphill...
Nostalgia Critic: That is a really weird note to go out on.
#12:
Pennywise: I’ll ipakita you how to FLOOOAAAT down here.
Critic: Why doesn’t he just EAT these fucking kids? He’s eaten like half of the other kids in the neighborhood! Why doesn’t he just finish them off? I mean, what the hell is madami important in his time?
Critic: (imitates Pennywise) RARRR, I've got you now, little boy! (beeping sound, and he looks at his watch) Oh, my God, it’s almost 3:00! (The Critic leaves the screen camera from the left and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song plays.)
#13:
(The kusina phone rings, and Tory sagot it)
Tory: Hello? Hello? Help us, please! Come help us! We’re trapped inside of here!
Pennywise: Do you have Prince Albert in a can? You do? Well, ya better let the poor guy out! Wha-haw! Wha-Haw! Wha-Haw!
(Tory hangs up and tears the phone off the wall)
#14:
Malus: HOW'D IT GET BURNED, HOW'D IT GET BURNED?!
Critic: Somebody lit it! Somebody lit it!
#15:
Tender Heart: Magic isn't the answer, Nicholas. Your feelings can help you find the true answer.
NC: Yes. Just listen to the magic, talking bear.
#16:
bravo Heart: Everyone in the Forest of Feelings knows of Playful puso Monkey and bravo Heart. [Cuts to scene from Mel Gibson's Braveheart]
NC: I know, I know. But how can I not put that in?
Unfortunately, I have been caught up in other issues for the past week and there is thus no new pagong sanwits this week. But I am Pagsulat this to establish many things, seeing as although I didn't have much "doing stuff" time, I had plenty of time to think.
1. Despite delays individual to this week, I will have time in the future to make this work on a weekly basis, and so it will stay that way.
2. I have thought madami about how video games would work with this, and decided that they actually wouldn't.
3. Between pelikula and TV shows, I want there to be some schedule for the order of them. But I also realize that I watch pelikula far madami often than entire seasons of TV shows, and that a lot of people are probably the same on that. Therefore, for every month, I will select the last Tuesday to be for TV shows, and the rest will be movies.
I am sorry for failing this city (or whatever city you might live in) this week, but I will attempt to make madami time for this in the future.
1. Despite delays individual to this week, I will have time in the future to make this work on a weekly basis, and so it will stay that way.
2. I have thought madami about how video games would work with this, and decided that they actually wouldn't.
3. Between pelikula and TV shows, I want there to be some schedule for the order of them. But I also realize that I watch pelikula far madami often than entire seasons of TV shows, and that a lot of people are probably the same on that. Therefore, for every month, I will select the last Tuesday to be for TV shows, and the rest will be movies.
I am sorry for failing this city (or whatever city you might live in) this week, but I will attempt to make madami time for this in the future.
I've been meaning to do this for a while. This is a countdown, meaning that number one is the best. Also, this is just my personal opinion so keep your rude comments to yourself. I hope you like it and please tell me what you think.
1-Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or self-confidence.
(Robert Frost)
2-The roots of education are mapait but the prutas is sweet.
(Aristotle)
3-Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the future. (Nelson Mandela)
4-Education is not learning of facts , but the training of minds to think. (Albert Einstein)
5-Education is not preparation for life, Education is life
itself (John Dewey)
6-Education is the movement from darkness to light.
(Allan Bloom)
7-The highest result of education is tolerance.
(Helen Keller)
(Robert Frost)
2-The roots of education are mapait but the prutas is sweet.
(Aristotle)
3-Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the future. (Nelson Mandela)
4-Education is not learning of facts , but the training of minds to think. (Albert Einstein)
5-Education is not preparation for life, Education is life
itself (John Dewey)
6-Education is the movement from darkness to light.
(Allan Bloom)
7-The highest result of education is tolerance.
(Helen Keller)
When a guy flirts with other women.while out with his girl, it. may be he is just trying to be funny and charming or seem polite. Or he may secretly be feeling insecure. Maybe he fears his gal is still.into her ex, or worries she may be seeing simeone else besides him. He wont come out and say his fears, so rather he tries to appear madami of a stud flirting with ladies. What he may not realize is this drives a gal away and makes her feel unimportant. How would a guy like it if a gal behaved that way toward him? Does anyone have any suggestions how to deal with this obnoxious male behavior? Does a gal call him out on it? Or simply walk away, as I did from a guy I loved a lot, and not call him out on it, just simply tell him, "You hurt me."?
note:this spell can be casted any time,any day.
okay,step one;light the candle and hold it in your left hand.
step2;put a little honey in your mouth(don't swallow)get a pitch of honey on the object,hold the object in your right hand,close your eyes and chant"i call upon the the dark god of magick to protect me from all negative energies and forces that may come my way,may this be my magic wand to make my wish come true so mote it be.
open your eyes,put the wand in the candle fire, let it burn for a minuto then after that use the honey to quench fire,BING BANG BOOM! it's done!have fun.