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50 Fun things to do in a Grocery Store

1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.

2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.

3. Every time you turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”

4. Go up to the manager and tell him or her that you’ve Nawawala your mommy.

5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.

6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.

7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he or she has anything for body lice.

8. After visiting the bakery section, go up and down the aisles exclaiming, “My buns are squishy!”

9. While arguing with an invisible friend, you proceed to play tug-of-war over an item.

10. Hold your nose while standing in line at the meat department.

11. Ask the deli clerk how much potato salad it would take for two people to comfortably wrestle in.

12. Fake cell phone conversation: “Doctor, I couldn’t possibly have malaria. That was weeks ago!”

13. Start doing a river dance in front of the corned beef.

14. Tell the checkout cashier that you have to hurry, or your spaceship will leave without you.

15. Tell the checkout bagger that you knew him in a former life, and ask why he left without a note.

16. Ask someone if they saw your picture in the post office and remark that it was one of your best.

17. On a hot summer day, ask the manager if someone can help you clean the snow from your car.

18. Tell a customer that you’re from the future and have just zapped back for an historic vacation.

19. Walk around holding a copy of the Scarlet Letter while sporting a big red “A”.

20. Ask a clerk if you can test several types of deodorant before making a decision to buy one.

21. Using a stethoscope, listen intently to several coconuts in the produce aisle.

22. Tell one of the lobsters that you’ve brought the potion to turn him back into a man.

23. Run up to the fresh vegetables in the produce aisle and yell, “Boo!”

24. Play peek-a-boo with a little old lady while waiting in the checkout line.

25. When the clerk in the deli asks for your order, mime it.

26. Walk around smoking an invisible cigarette – and get great satisfaction from it.

27. Pretend to cook a meal using the pots and pans in the housewares aisle.

28. Bring a concealed whoopie cushion with you and activate it every couple of minutes.

29. Ask if anyone has seen your pet snake – he was just in your pocket a minuto ago.

30. While waiting in the deli line, pretend to read an invisible book – be sure to turn the pages.

31. Hold up a can of bug spray and ask someone what type of kraker would go best with it.

32. Shout out, “OK, who squeezed my melons?!”

33. If you see someone offering samples, keep circling like a pating and snatch snacks at each pass.

34. Invite other customers to sumali you in a game of limbo using a pepperoni stick.

35. Go up to a dead isda on ice, sob and say, “We were supposed to be married on Saturday!”

36. In the middle of one of the aisles, scream, “Food fight!”

37. Stand in front of the ice cream freezer, look intently at it, and scream intermittently.

38. Squirm around a lot and shout, “Quick – where’s the hemorrhoid cream?”

39. Pick up bananas at random; act as though you’re on the phone and say, “Sorry, wrong number!”

40. Point accusingly at one of the cucumbers and say, “I thought I told you to wait in the car!”

41. Holding a flea collar, ask a clerk how you get the flea to hold still so that you can put it on him.

42. Look for someone holding a jar of honey, and then explain that this is actually bee vomit.

43. Every time you pass a particular type of meat, imitate the sound of the animal.

44. Walk down the aisles like a turkey, while opening your eyes as wide as physically possible.

45. As you pass the lettuce, turn toward it, fold your arms and say, “You’re out of your head!”

46. Pick up a jar of pickled pig’s feet and – in a distraught voice – say, “Oh, no! It’s Babe!”

47. As you pass people in the aisles, look startled and run in the opposite direction.

48. Bring a ventriloquist dummy and argue about what to buy for hapunan as you go through the store.

49. Tell the produce clerk that the bananas are fighting again, and that they’re all getting bruised.

50. Tell the manager to call for a clean-up in the laxative aisle.
What is an icon? An icon is not merely a square-sized edited image. It has to be 200x200 pixels or smaller. But how to make it in the right size? There are free websites that allow us to resize it properly. In this tutorial, I'm using 'picresize' website to assist me. Here are the 5 easy steps to make it 200x200 px. Hope this artikulo will help you!


1. First of all, type www.picresize.com.





2. Click 'Browse' to select your picture.





3. Click 'Quick resize' after you choose your picture.





4. In 'Make my picture' option, choose 'Custom Size' and type '200' in both width and height.






5. Finally, click 'I'm Done, Quick Resize My Picture! and your icon is now 200x200 px...





...and DOWNLOAD it!





Comparison between a square image and an icon.

 'Let me ask something, Fabrice. Does THAT, looks like THIS to you?!'
'Let me ask something, Fabrice. Does THAT, looks like THIS to you?!'
Item #: SCP-465
Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-465 is secured in containment locker 8423 at Site-19. Under no circumstances is SCP-465 to be opened sa pamamagitan ng any personnel ranking above class D, and then only in a puwang at least 15 square meters in area. No other special attention or care is required.

Description: SCP-465-01 is a large two-piece cardboard box decorated with a faded confetti pattern popular in the 1970s. Other than a large printed label on the tuktok of the lid marked "Party in a Box", no indication of contents or manufacturer are found on any portion of the object....
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Expanded on from a Tumblr post I saw.

Kids, there's no such thing as an opposite gender or sex. That belief is fucking toxic.

The phrases imply there are only two genders and only two sexes. That's very very very very wrong - take it from me, a nonbinary kid who doesn't identify as fully a girl or a boy.

'Cause look, there are boys and there are girls. Most people are like that. But you can also be neither a boy nor a girl. Or you can be a little of both. Or something else entirely. There aren't just two genders and being nonbinary is probably a little madami common than you think.

And there aren't...
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(This is a new series where I negatively review classic stories. And yes, I do like this story and I will like all the others I will do in the future, but I just thought this was a fun idea so... There you go.)

So I'm pretty sure sa pamamagitan ng now we all know this story. It's a timeless tale of adventure, and has a very important moral at the end. This story focuses on 3 pigs building houses to protect themselves from a lobo and taught kids that time and effort equals success. :)

BUT SINCE I'M A NITPICKING DOUCHE-BAG WHO DOESN'T APPRECIATE SHIT, I'm going to criticize this story as much as I can, pointing...
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posted by yamishadow2001
(Note: I will swear i might rage a bit but B-E-A-R with me get it? No okay...)

Story: You are playing as a security guard to work the night shift from 12 AM-6 AM your goal try to survive the night with a certain amount of power without getting killed for 5 nights... or 7 we will get to that in a minuto and who is trying kill apparently "Kid Friendly" animtronics that we will also get to in a minuto as well so that is the story pretty much.

Characters: The characters are you of course. Troll: We all know that dumbass hur hur hur! Oh shut up!*clears throat* as I was saying there is the phone guy...
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posted by lexidude92
Everyone is sitting on a sopa (being bored)

Libra: What's on on tv?
Virgo: Nothing right now, just keep on daydreaming...
Cancer: THERE'S NOTHING TO DREAM ABOUT!!
Leo: I agree with Cancer, I'm bored, let's watch some tv or go outside to get some fresh air.
Sagittarius: I'm not sure if that's a good idea, Leo.
Aries: usually, there is no fresh air outside.
Leo: No, actually, you can't see how fresh the air is out there.
Sagittarius: What?
Leo: *sighs*, your deaf, arn't you?
Sagittarius: No.
Aquarius: I'd listen to some songs...
Leo: nah, I'm fine.
Virgo: at 4:30 we can watch tv.
Leo: why?
Virgo: because....
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posted by BlondLionEzel
Out in the darkness, someone is rending the silence
Awakening this planet from its sleep
Who is it?

Look, evil spirits are right before you
There's nowhere to run, so take 'em straight on!
Someone tells me to erase my "worries" and "fear"
We reconstruct our minds
Clench your fists strongly
Believe in the bonds between us
And fight!

So all I can do
And all you can do
Is spread your wings and transform
Take the anger piercing your puso and turn it into strength
Now all I can do
And all you can do
Is shine and transform
To the stage of evolution
Touch and go!

Listen closely! It's a new "beginning"
Why do you think...
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Dating Version 2.0: Modern Dating

Some of the old ways of dating could be use an upgrade. Welcome 2014 with these new and improved rules!

For most of us, the best--and usually our first--source of our dating payo is our family. We rely on the experiences and wise words of Mom, Sister, and in some cases even Grandmother, for the do's and don'ts of boys and relationships. But as years pass by, it might be time to rule out some of Mom's and Grandma's old (and old-fashioned) rules on dating and come up with reasonable guidelines that appeal to madami modern minds.

The Old Way:
~Date only boys who...
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posted by uploaded900
For a while, I've been thinking of making an artikulo on my influential celebs and here they are. This listahan is just on entertainers. I'm not the biggest celebrity person, but these have inspired me in some sort of way and I pag-ibig them! Instead of putting trashy people and basic bitches (whose names I won't name) on a pedestal, here are some people I'd like to talk about who should get some credit for the great individuals that they are. I'd also like to add that it's just my opinion and I'd pag-ibig to hear what you've got to say.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

 The Realist
The Realist


Emma Watson
Emma Watson is one...
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posted by cuteasprincie
Survey reveals tuktok 50 funniest jokes ever told

[HK]

A joke about a male bus passenger insulting a woman's ugly baby has been voted the funniest gag ever told. Researchers examined madami than 1,000 jokes before whittling them down to a final 50 and getting 36,000 people to vote for their favourites. Source: Onepoll.com

Comedy genius Tommy Cooper had sa pamamagitan ng far the most jokes in the list, which also includes gags sa pamamagitan ng Peter Kay and Lee Evans.

Jokes ranged from the legendary one-liner about a zoo with just one dog being a 'shitzu' - to ones about wives, husbands, blondes and foreigners.

The study was...
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