The susunod morning, after a considerable amount of fighting, and Snape almost getting a black eye, James had been the one to ride the thestral.
“Can you even see this thing?”
“Yeah.” James replied. “Only a people who saw someone die, right?”
“Right.” Snape walked alongside, looking around through the path.
“Well, you obviously can too.”
“Yeah…”
The conversation about death grew very tiring, as their own impending loss and insanity led ahead if they didn’t take this trip. “So…” James continued to try making conversation. “What was that about you and Hagrid and Lily?”
“Nothing.”
“There has to be something.”
“Shut up, Potter.”
“Why don’t you?”
“I can bind your mouth shut for eternity.”
“I’ve never heard of a spell like that! You made that up!”
“Indeed I did.” Snape smirked, “I created and perfected it. Care to try it out?”
James scoffed. “Yeah, right, stop lying…”
And James could no longer ilipat his lips.
Now satisfied, Severus pet the cold, bony thestral’s snout, trying not to think about the journey ahead. Suddenly hating the silence, Severus reversed the spell, and James took good advantage of it. “FINALLY!”
“Why are you so loud? Like the attention always has to be on you?”
“Why are you working for… for… Voldemort?”
Snape flinched. “Don’t say the name!”
“Dumbledore says the name.”
“Dumbledore’s a great wizard.”
“Now you’re not making sense. Is Dumbledore great or is Voldemort?”
Snape bit his lip. “Both. The dark lord offers… power…”
“’The dark lord…’” James tried to make fun of him, but realized he was only making fun of his own voice.
This was going to be a long, long trip.
Both boys were afraid to rest, but when lunchtime came and their stomachs began to sound like hideous monsters, Snape decided to try something.
“Accio food!”
Nothing came.
“Maybe you should be madami specific.”
“Accio… accio… accio tacos!”
“No!” James declared, but the pagkain had already found its way to them, wrapped in paper so there was no mess. Ignoring James, Snape was already taking a huge bite. “That’s stealing! You could have found someone else’s food!”
“But I’m hungry.” Snape snickered. “So I’m going to eat.”
“I’m not.”
“Alright.” And, still eating—and without the flick of a wand—the taco flew up, and wavered right past James’s face. James tried not to watch as a little bit of grease and cheese dripped out.
They both ate until they were full, with James feeling particularly guilty afterward.
At night, with a magical apoy surrounding them, James had asked, “How much longer will we be here… like, in the forest?”
“Why are you asking me? Because you know I’m the brains of this? And without me you would’ve died already?” But Snape instantly shut his mouth, shuddering at what he’d just said.
There was a silence. James wished he could find the mirror and talk to Sirius, but Hagrid had sinabi no communication with the outside world… James was so angry. He wished he could at least find his owl and write a letter to tell them he was gone, but he couldn’t even do that.
“Snape, what do thestrals eat? Snape? Come on!”
“What?” Severus lifted his head ever so slightly.
“You did not go to sleep that quick.”
“Who sinabi I was asleep?” He snarled, scratching James’s fluffy hair.
“Well, tell me what thestrals eat, because I think ours is hungry.”
“Apples. Their behavior is just like horses, for the most part…” And Severus lay back down again, closing his eyes.
James accioed some apples, hoping they were from a prutas puno and not someone’s plate.
James tried to shake Snape awake, but when he still wouldn’t get up, tempted him with pancake and a bottle of syrup. When they were done James quickly jumped onto the thestral again, who whinnied slightly.
Only giving James a nasty look, the boys continued their journey. After a long while James spoke, “How can you see thestrals?”
“Tell me about you first, then I’ll consider it.”
It took a very long moment. James sighed. “You know that incident in fifth year?”
“…yeah?”
“And how I had broken my leg during the Quidditch match?”
“Oh.”
“Yes. She died in the hospital wing. She was sleeping, and I saw her breathing really heavy and having a nightmare, and then she just… died.” There was a pause. “What about you?”
“Not telling.”
“But you sinabi you would!” James hollered.
“I sinabi I’d consider it.”
James huffed, angry that he’d been tricked so easily. “Then tell me something else.”
“Like what?” Severus snapped.
“I don’t know. We’re going to be seeing a lot of each other, so…”
“Like I really want to get to know you, Potter, after you’ve tormented me for seven years.” Snape cursed a moment under his breath. “I don’t think so.”
“Uh, take a joke, why don’t you?”
“A joke? Potter, are you stupid? Why don’t I pull your pants down in front of the entire school and make you cough bubbles? How about it?”
“Don’t be ridiculous!” But James knew he despised the thought of it.
“Shut your mouth before I shut it for you! For good this time!”
With that threat, they stopped bickering for a few hours longer.
By lunchtime they had reached the end of the forest. “People are near.” Severus spoke.
“So?”
“So… get off the thestral. To them you’ll be floating on an invisible horse.”
James thought a moment. “Can muggles see thestrals, too?”
“They can. Actually, you can put that silly balabal of yours to good use.”
“But it’s not big enough!”
“Give it here!” Snape demanded. Hesitantly, James did so. With a flick of the wand, the balabal grew and grew, until it was big enough for the thestral. James tugged it over the creature, making sure the hooves weren’t being shown. “Now we’re good. Come on.”
“Should we give it a name?” James asked finally, studying it over.
“…and get attached to it?” Snape rolled his eyes. “That’s on you, Potter.”
“Fine. I’ll name him… Harry.” James grinned. “Handsome name, isn’t it?”
“Dreadfully common, I’d say.”
“Whatever. I like it.” James pet the tuktok of Harry’s chilly skull before they continued walking.
It was not long before they entered a town. The stores were small and ancient looking, and every now and again a car would come past. This was all. “Muggles don’t take sickles, do they?”
“No. Anything you needed to buy?”
“I was going to find some butterbeer…”
“Muggles don’t have that, either.”
James pouted. “That’s so lame! I didn’t know muggles were so boring… What do they drink?”
“Regular beer. Root beer, I think, is the closest thing to butterbeer.”
“What’s that? Actually, how do you know so much about muggles when you serve Voldemort?”
Snape crinkled his nose. “My father was one.”
“But Voldemort doesn’t take half-bloods, does he?”
“Stop saying the name!” Snape demanded, “You’re doing that just to get on my nerves!”
“But he doesn’t. Did you lie to him?”
Snape did not answer. James sighed and began to follow the thestral up a hill.
Severus could remember being five years old; sitting on a hot sidewalk in the latest blusa his mother had forced him into. He’d been able to knick a convenience store, and took long, enjoyable gulps into the can. The sun had been totally unmerciful, and he was sweating quite a bit, but he didn’t care. The air conditioner had broken in his tahanan and this was much better than hearing his parents fight over it.
Lost in these thoughts, Severus tripped suddenly. James snickered. He stood quickly, patting the dust off his robes, not caring to admit that his leg was probably bruised now. He’d fix it later, when James wasn’t looking.
The walk up was tiring, even for James’s strong, lean body, Severus began to feel very out of breath. But muggles were still down below… he couldn’t ride on the thestral… He waited a long time before he thought they were out of sight, but James was already the first to hop on.
Once madami Severus had lost. He continued walking.
They were now around the apoy again, the thestral eating apples as Severus and James finished spaghetti. “Just out of curiosity,” Snape began, and James looked up, “What kind of animangus are you?”
James smirked. Boredom had finally overcome them. “I’m a deer. Why?”
“I thought so. That’s why you’re Prongs.”
“Yes.”
“James?”
“What?”
“Why?”
“…what?”
“Why would you throw me to the werewolf?”
“That was Padfoot’s… Sirius’s idea.”
“…but what was he thinking?”
“I don’t know.”
“But you always find it funny when this stuff happens.”
“Because most of it’s a joke.”
“I almost died.”
“Most of it, I said.” James tried not to get irritated.
“I’ve never laughed.”
“Okay! We won’t… we won’t do it again!”
“I need something better than that.”
“Like what?”
“An apology.”
“No.”
“Come on, Potter. Just say it.”
“…why should I?”
“Because you know what you did was wrong.”
“I’m not apologizing for anything.”
“Then I’ll bind your mouth shut again. And make you puke bubbles.”
“How would I puke bubbles if my mouth’s shut?”
“I’ll find a way.”
“I’m not apologizing.”
“Then upside down you go…”
“Fine!” James furrowed his brow and shut his eyes, “I’msorrySnape.”
“What was that? I heard nonsense.”
“…I’m sorry…”
“To who?”
“You.”
“Say it again.”
“I’m sorry, Snape.”
“And what are you sorry for?” Severus savored the moment.
Gritting his teeth, James continued, “I’m sorry for hexing you and everything.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“There’s a lot more.”
“I’m sorry for… uhm… copying your homework… and making you spill the potions… and… uh… everything else.”
“That’s what I wanted to hear.”
“Is that all?”
“Yes. I think I can forgive you now.”
James sighed again. As the sun set Severus lay down and closed his eyes.
James had mounted the thestral and eaten breakfast while Snape was sleeping. “Come on, Snivellus!”
“It’s Severus…”
“Whatever. Come on. Harry’s ready to stretch his legs.”
Severus yawned and stood. “Where’s breakfast?”
“I ate it.”
“You what?”
“Come on!”
And James began to walk away. Knowing he wouldn’t go anywhere without Harry, Snape followed. “Accio bacon!” And he ate while he walked.
Soon after he threw it up. James shook his head, muffling a laugh. Snape hexed Potter’s mouth shut again, and was forced to continue walking along…
They were back in the forest, and the wind had gotten too chilly and the clouds too gray for their liking. Clutching his stomach, Severus moaned.
“Let’s rest for tonight.” James decided, and Snape instantly sat down. James wondered if he was ok, but did not ask. After a few spells to try to warm it up, and another magical fire, Severus was already asleep.
He was limping.
James woke up and saw him limping over to a tree, which he grabbed tight and pressed his face against. His breathing was heavy.
James stood. “Surely that bacon…”
“That’s not it.” Severus moaned and shivered. “Potter… I think that I’m… I’m…” But he coughed suddenly.
And it all became clear.
Snape was the one to die.
Severus was dozing in and out of sleep on tuktok of Harry, his arms wrapped loosely around the thestral’s long neck. For the first time James was not caring about the fact that he wasn’t in his own body. He just needed Severus to be alright.
“Stop.” It was one of the first words he’d sinabi all day, and James put the thestral to a halt. Refusing help, Snape shakily slid off and, after a few moments, threw up again. Slowly and with great awkwardness he got back on tuktok of Harry, his cheeks against the chilly Buto as he tried to sleep again.
“We’re going to make it.” James told him.
Severus slowly nodded. “I know.”
“We’ll give Death what’s coming to him.”
“I know.”
“So just hang in there…”
Severus nodded again and closed his eyes.
“Stop.”
James did so. This time he had to help Severus off the horse, and Severus began to go into a coughing fit, clutching his ribs and heaving onto the ground. James saw blood come out. When it was over, Severus fell to the ground, this time his eyes were wide. Unsure what else to do, James lay beside him.
“Tell me something.” Severus tried to speak clearly.
“What?”
“Why do you pag-ibig Lily?”
It was a very sudden question. James thought a long moment, “Because she’s pretty, but also smart and funny… and she’s easy to make laugh… and I don’t know. I don’t know why. I just do.” James hesitated before speaking again. “You loved her, didn’t you?” He asked, his eyelids suddenly heavy as he buried himself in the nagyelo grass.
Severus managed to snicker. “What’s love?” And, very gently, the snow began to fall, ready to kill the trees and keep the boys from sleeping. Watching it dimly, Severus answered his own question, “It’s for the weak. It leads you to destroying yourself over foolish things.” There was a pause. “No one will ever pag-ibig me.”
James looked at the dying boy, staring him right in the face. They had forgotten they had switched bodies long ago. “You’re almost exactly right, Severus.” It had been the first time to call him sa pamamagitan ng his first name. “You need pag-ibig the most when you’re weak, because it makes you strong. You’d destroy yourself to protect who you love, no matter how foolish you or they are. But you’re wrong with one thing.”
There was another, sleepy, very long pause. “You’re saying you pag-ibig me, James?”
“…don’t push it.”
Severus gave a very weak smile.
It takes a long time to start a magical apoy in the snow.
James awoke very, very startled.
The first thing he noticed was that he was in a bed, warm and comfortable. The segundo thing he noticed was that Severus looked alive and well… and that there were two of him.
James plopped back onto the pillow. “I’m dreaming.”
“Sorry to startle you!” The first Severus said, wrapping an kahel scarf around his face. “I’m so sorry! Henry, please!”
“He’s alive!” The Severus named Henry pointed his finger to the sky. “Thomas, it’s alright!”
“What’s this racket?” And a third Severus entered the room.
It was very surreal. “Who… who are you? Which one of you… where’s…?” Actually, they weren’t Severus at all. They were James. James, who was trapped in Severus’s body. James thought that, along with his hallucination, he’d develop a headache.
But the segundo Severus/James, who was wearing a white tie, slapped James on the shoulder. “I’m Henry. We saw you guys in the cold and had to help you. We took your image, though, your friend was so sick, and…”
“Where is he? What are you?”
“Oh, he’s in the back, still sleeping. Erik’s taking care of him. What were you guys doing all out in the cold, anyway? It’s snowing. You’ll catch a cold.”
James stood. “Wait, where are you…?” Henry gasped, but James was running to the back. The third clone had taken him sa pamamagitan ng the cloak.
“Not so fast. Erik says he needs rest.”
“I need to see him!” James cried out, watching as Henry and Thomas walked into the scene.
“Gautier, calm down…”
Thomas thought for a moment. “Maybe he should see his friend. I mean, if it doesn’t bother Erik…”
“He won’t get in Erik’s way.” Gautier replied, still holding on.
Just then a fourth and fifth clone came out. “Let him see his brother…” And Gautier let go, and James ran into the room the other two had left and saw Severus, who looked entirely healthy.
Smiling, Severus held up a mug. “Hi. Didn’t they offer you hot chocolate, too…?”
“Severus.” James furrowed his brow. “Who are these people?”
“I don’t really know.” Severus giggled, “But I’ve never been happier since I’ve been here…”
James stared back. “This is sort of creepy.”
“I don’t care. It’s like everything that’s ever been wonderful in my life keeps playing over and over…” Severus blushed, grabbing James’s face. “And I’m not sick anymore and everything is fine. You should have some hot chocolate.”
“But… but…”
The five clones burst in at once. “Perhaps he shall eat with the dining hall with us!” One of them yelled. Severus jumped up, being careful not to spill his hot chocolate, before coming into what looked like a restaurant, where a giant omelet was waiting for them on one of the tables. Severus ran toward it, where James came meekly behind.
“What are you guys?” James asked for the third time, looking up in shock and surprise.
Four of them grinned back. “We’re joy.” Henry, the one with the white tie, replied.
Another of them, in dark blue robes, walked up to the table. “Do you know what happens when you’re finished with a patronus? What happens to the blue stuff afterward?”
James hesitated. “It disappears…”
“And where does it go?”
James scratched Severus’s stringy hair. “Right here?”
“Yes. We are built out of patronuses.”
“The reason we look like you,” A clone, covered in an kahel scarf, spoke up, “is because we were once spirits, but the first human we touch gives us bodies.”
James surveyed each and every one of them. “So… you have names, then?”
“Yep. I’m Henry, built out of the happiness from pag-ibig and lovers!” Henry smiled wide, teeth flashing, pointing to himself before straightening out his white tie. “Nice of you to meet me!”
“I am Erik.” Erik bowed. “I am built out of thoughts of peace and blessings. It is wonderful to meet you.” His blue robes wavered in the wind.
“I’m Thomas.” He hid behind his kahel scarf, blushing, pushing thick black glasses up to his nose. “I’m created from thoughts of friendship. And… that’s all…”
“Thou shall call me King Jacob!” He gave a lopsided grin, pushing a crown of fake ginto steady on his head. “I am created from thoughts of strong leadership and prosperity! Welcome!”
The last one took a long time to spoke. His voice was slow and careful. “My name is Gautier. I am created from thoughts of protection and intelligence.” He pushed his black cape out of the way.
Very suddenly, James smiled. “Well… thank you for helping us.”
“Thank you for giving us bodies.” Erik bowed, starting a chorus of ‘thank you’s’ from around the room.
“Well…” James thought a moment longer. “We have to go.”
“…why?” Thomas asked quickly.
“Because we’re under a curse…”
“It’s been a long time since we’ve heard of that curse.” Gautier mumbled. “It is very dangerous. No man has lived going through there.”
James gulped. “Thanks for telling me.”
“I am trying to warn you.” Gautier never made eye contact, but rather looked around the room. “You must be careful. We cannot help you, but while you face death you may at least feel happy.”
Jacob jumped up. “Thomas!” Who looked up, “I decree that you shall give them a token of happiness! Give them the necklace!”
“Yes… of course…” Thomas meekly shook his head, and walked out. He came back later with a small, silver necklace. He placed it around James’s head.
Erik smiled. “Now peace shall be upon you.”
James gave another small smile. “Alright. Thank you for everything. Come on, Severus…”
“But I’m not done eating!”
“We have to go…”
He had to drag his friend out, and as soon as they were gone, Severus already looked pale. James placed the kuwintas around him, helped him to mount Harry, and took off. Oddly enough, Severus looked very peaceful in his sleep.
A mountain had been cut cleanly into, providing a twisting path all the way to the peak. It was so ginormous, and James sighed before following Severus and Harry up.
It quickly grew dark, and they rested right in the middle of the pathway. The magical apoy burned its warmth.
“I can see thestrals,” Severus spoke suddenly, startling James, “because of my parents.”
“…which one?”
“My dad. My mum murdered him over the summer.”
James felt shocked, first about the parents, then about the total coolness on Severus’s face as he had sinabi it. “…why?”
“He hated us. I guess mum grew tired one day… and killed him. Avada Kedavra.”
“…wow.” James felt rather breathless.
“I want you to know.”
“…what?”
“About me.” Severus’s tired eyes sparked with a certain, excited flame. “I want to live a little longer, if it means my story is through you…”
James thought a moment. “That makes sense, I suppose…”
And Severus grinned, holding the kuwintas tight with his fist, which was still dangling around his neck. “My father always hated us. Wish I’d never been born, he told her. But she forced him to support us, or he’d suffer magical punishment…”
“My mom wasn’t the best. She gave me everything but was never there. My dad was a drunk. Then I met Sirius…”
“…I saw Lily when I was nine. She was so pretty. And I was so shy. Imagine, a young girl swinging on the playground, minding her own business, when a boy in a blusa and heavy dyaket walked up to her…”
“I knew I was in pag-ibig with her when I was thirteen. But it was so hard. She was always with you… and I told myself, she’s not meant for me, leave it alone… and I guess I took the stress out on you…”
“She hated me now. What was I supposed to do? Who was I supposed to love? Lucius had always taken me under his wing… but now that he was gone, I fled to Mulciber. He thought me worthy enough to drag into one of the death eater meetings…”
“Peter has been getting weirder lately. It’s worrying me. I want to help him but I can’t. I wonder what he’s up to… I hope he stays safe…”
Both boys looked at each other for a moment. Severus gave a small smile. “Good night, James.”
“Good night.”
And they fell asleep.
Climbing up a mountain is serious work. Severus wasn’t puking anymore, but was now always asleep. Sometimes he’d cough up blood, and James would try to help him with a spell, but Severus refused. “It’s better for these kinds of things to be left alone.” He had said, his eyes still closed, “The curse might grow stronger if you try to reverse it…”
Up and up and up. They’d reach the sky at this point. No, they’d reach heaven.
Instead, they reached a bunch of thestrals, all crowded around together. Harry stopped, and whinnied slightly. James knew they were close. He helped Severus off and they walked father up together, until they stood right in front of a cave.
Severus and James, very awkwardly and tiredly, dug a hole laboriously with their hands, and buried their wand in the dirt. Both their minds at a breaking point, and feeling so vulnerable, they naisumite themselves and walked inside.
It was a room of potions upon potions. Innumerable flasks lined up against each other, carrying what looked like water. One of them, however, was spilling over, beside a flask that looked entirely empty. James pointed to it silently, and Severus nodded. He creeped over, picked it up carefully, and poured it in the empty flask.
Surely enough, the color regained in Severus’s face, and he grinned. James motioned for him to stay quiet, then looked into the cauldron. He saw… horrible, evilness… human souls… so greedy, and mean, always looking out for themselves…
Disgusted, James turned away. He spotted what looked like a penseive. He looked into it, and perhaps, because it had been brewing and bubbling for so long, he didn’t even have to step in to see what was happening.
They were dancing, and the couple loved each other.
Still unsatisfied, James saw a door. Ignoring Severus’s dirty looks and warnings to leave, James opened it slowly… and gasped…
A woman, paper white and colorless eyes, completely bald, was sitting in a corner, looking like an old, long forgotten doll, but she was breathing…
A hand grasped James’s shoulder. A man looked solemnly ready to kill. “What, dear child, are you doing in my cave?”
They hadn’t yet returned to their original bodies, but they couldn’t be less concerned about it.
They were bound together, unable to move, sitting on the stone cave floor. “I told you we should’ve left.” Severus snickered.
“You didn’t.”
“But you know that I…”
“Quiet, children.” Death began stirring into his cauldron. “You saw. And I can’t let you leave and babble mindlessly about my poor daughter… So now your time has come…”
“Did you used to be human?”
It was a sudden question. Severus watched Death, who turned wide eyed, snarl. “Is that any of your business…? That I had a wife and children and eventually had to kill them? Why, tell me, would you want to know?”
“I just wanted to…”
“That everything I loved dies… but no, not this time… I’ll have something to love… I’ll have a child… I will create life… but you will not be around to see…”
And he splashed their lives into the cauldron.
Dying came all at once, and very slowly.
They shut their eyes, hearts growing slow and breaths getting raspy. Gradually, the mist came out of their eyes, mouths, ears and noses, ipinapakita friendship and love. Very gentle, a doe and a ng mga lalaki formed, right beside the fresh corpses.
The mga hayop looked at each other for a moment, and then each nodded. A tremendous amount of respect was felt before they disappeared.
Now they were brothers, and they died in peace.
Brother, brother…
Yes?
We’re so free.
Yes…
We’re so loved.
Yes…
We’re at peace.
Yes…
And you're my friend. I pag-ibig you.
And I pag-ibig you. Brother, brother…
Yes?
Let’s pag-ibig forever…
…and always…
…for eternity…
Together.
When Severus Snape awoke he was back inside his own body, and he was absolutely sobbing. James was right beside him, doing the same.
“We felt your patronuses.” Gautier spoke, ignoring their emotions. The boys themselves did not know if they were overcome with happiness of such the beautiful place, or sadness that they had to leave. “I had never felt such protection before. Normally, happiness comes from taking, being protected, but both of you were different…”
“So we helped you.” Henry spoke up.
Thomas blushed, hiding behind his scarf. “We ran all the way up the mountain and saw you…”
“And we found the girl Death hath created…” Jacob continued.
“And we gave her life.” Erik finished.
James blinked tiredly. “How are we alive?” The tears continued dripping off his cheeks. He didn’t even care to wipe them away.
“Because if there is evil, there has to be good.” Erik smiled suddenly. “He is Death, but we are Life.”
“…where’s the girl?” Severus asked after a while, letting Erik’s statement sink in.
“Well, I hope you don’t mind. She was very bare, so we painted her a little.” Henry giggled. “Here she is.” And out came Lily Evans, looking very alive and beautiful. The only difference was her blonde hair and blue eyes.
She looked at the boys, and bowed. “Thank you for saving me.”
“We shall name her Rose! Rose Snavs!” Jacob decreed.
“I guess she’ll be saying with us.” Gautier frowned. “I will protect her.”
“And we can talk! And teach her things!” Thomas gave a shy smile. “If I could teach, I mean… maybe I won’t be good at it…”
Severus and James looked at the patronus people, and at Rose, and stopped crying. They had a long way tahanan to Hogwarts.
“Can you even see this thing?”
“Yeah.” James replied. “Only a people who saw someone die, right?”
“Right.” Snape walked alongside, looking around through the path.
“Well, you obviously can too.”
“Yeah…”
The conversation about death grew very tiring, as their own impending loss and insanity led ahead if they didn’t take this trip. “So…” James continued to try making conversation. “What was that about you and Hagrid and Lily?”
“Nothing.”
“There has to be something.”
“Shut up, Potter.”
“Why don’t you?”
“I can bind your mouth shut for eternity.”
“I’ve never heard of a spell like that! You made that up!”
“Indeed I did.” Snape smirked, “I created and perfected it. Care to try it out?”
James scoffed. “Yeah, right, stop lying…”
And James could no longer ilipat his lips.
Now satisfied, Severus pet the cold, bony thestral’s snout, trying not to think about the journey ahead. Suddenly hating the silence, Severus reversed the spell, and James took good advantage of it. “FINALLY!”
“Why are you so loud? Like the attention always has to be on you?”
“Why are you working for… for… Voldemort?”
Snape flinched. “Don’t say the name!”
“Dumbledore says the name.”
“Dumbledore’s a great wizard.”
“Now you’re not making sense. Is Dumbledore great or is Voldemort?”
Snape bit his lip. “Both. The dark lord offers… power…”
“’The dark lord…’” James tried to make fun of him, but realized he was only making fun of his own voice.
This was going to be a long, long trip.
Both boys were afraid to rest, but when lunchtime came and their stomachs began to sound like hideous monsters, Snape decided to try something.
“Accio food!”
Nothing came.
“Maybe you should be madami specific.”
“Accio… accio… accio tacos!”
“No!” James declared, but the pagkain had already found its way to them, wrapped in paper so there was no mess. Ignoring James, Snape was already taking a huge bite. “That’s stealing! You could have found someone else’s food!”
“But I’m hungry.” Snape snickered. “So I’m going to eat.”
“I’m not.”
“Alright.” And, still eating—and without the flick of a wand—the taco flew up, and wavered right past James’s face. James tried not to watch as a little bit of grease and cheese dripped out.
They both ate until they were full, with James feeling particularly guilty afterward.
At night, with a magical apoy surrounding them, James had asked, “How much longer will we be here… like, in the forest?”
“Why are you asking me? Because you know I’m the brains of this? And without me you would’ve died already?” But Snape instantly shut his mouth, shuddering at what he’d just said.
There was a silence. James wished he could find the mirror and talk to Sirius, but Hagrid had sinabi no communication with the outside world… James was so angry. He wished he could at least find his owl and write a letter to tell them he was gone, but he couldn’t even do that.
“Snape, what do thestrals eat? Snape? Come on!”
“What?” Severus lifted his head ever so slightly.
“You did not go to sleep that quick.”
“Who sinabi I was asleep?” He snarled, scratching James’s fluffy hair.
“Well, tell me what thestrals eat, because I think ours is hungry.”
“Apples. Their behavior is just like horses, for the most part…” And Severus lay back down again, closing his eyes.
James accioed some apples, hoping they were from a prutas puno and not someone’s plate.
James tried to shake Snape awake, but when he still wouldn’t get up, tempted him with pancake and a bottle of syrup. When they were done James quickly jumped onto the thestral again, who whinnied slightly.
Only giving James a nasty look, the boys continued their journey. After a long while James spoke, “How can you see thestrals?”
“Tell me about you first, then I’ll consider it.”
It took a very long moment. James sighed. “You know that incident in fifth year?”
“…yeah?”
“And how I had broken my leg during the Quidditch match?”
“Oh.”
“Yes. She died in the hospital wing. She was sleeping, and I saw her breathing really heavy and having a nightmare, and then she just… died.” There was a pause. “What about you?”
“Not telling.”
“But you sinabi you would!” James hollered.
“I sinabi I’d consider it.”
James huffed, angry that he’d been tricked so easily. “Then tell me something else.”
“Like what?” Severus snapped.
“I don’t know. We’re going to be seeing a lot of each other, so…”
“Like I really want to get to know you, Potter, after you’ve tormented me for seven years.” Snape cursed a moment under his breath. “I don’t think so.”
“Uh, take a joke, why don’t you?”
“A joke? Potter, are you stupid? Why don’t I pull your pants down in front of the entire school and make you cough bubbles? How about it?”
“Don’t be ridiculous!” But James knew he despised the thought of it.
“Shut your mouth before I shut it for you! For good this time!”
With that threat, they stopped bickering for a few hours longer.
By lunchtime they had reached the end of the forest. “People are near.” Severus spoke.
“So?”
“So… get off the thestral. To them you’ll be floating on an invisible horse.”
James thought a moment. “Can muggles see thestrals, too?”
“They can. Actually, you can put that silly balabal of yours to good use.”
“But it’s not big enough!”
“Give it here!” Snape demanded. Hesitantly, James did so. With a flick of the wand, the balabal grew and grew, until it was big enough for the thestral. James tugged it over the creature, making sure the hooves weren’t being shown. “Now we’re good. Come on.”
“Should we give it a name?” James asked finally, studying it over.
“…and get attached to it?” Snape rolled his eyes. “That’s on you, Potter.”
“Fine. I’ll name him… Harry.” James grinned. “Handsome name, isn’t it?”
“Dreadfully common, I’d say.”
“Whatever. I like it.” James pet the tuktok of Harry’s chilly skull before they continued walking.
It was not long before they entered a town. The stores were small and ancient looking, and every now and again a car would come past. This was all. “Muggles don’t take sickles, do they?”
“No. Anything you needed to buy?”
“I was going to find some butterbeer…”
“Muggles don’t have that, either.”
James pouted. “That’s so lame! I didn’t know muggles were so boring… What do they drink?”
“Regular beer. Root beer, I think, is the closest thing to butterbeer.”
“What’s that? Actually, how do you know so much about muggles when you serve Voldemort?”
Snape crinkled his nose. “My father was one.”
“But Voldemort doesn’t take half-bloods, does he?”
“Stop saying the name!” Snape demanded, “You’re doing that just to get on my nerves!”
“But he doesn’t. Did you lie to him?”
Snape did not answer. James sighed and began to follow the thestral up a hill.
Severus could remember being five years old; sitting on a hot sidewalk in the latest blusa his mother had forced him into. He’d been able to knick a convenience store, and took long, enjoyable gulps into the can. The sun had been totally unmerciful, and he was sweating quite a bit, but he didn’t care. The air conditioner had broken in his tahanan and this was much better than hearing his parents fight over it.
Lost in these thoughts, Severus tripped suddenly. James snickered. He stood quickly, patting the dust off his robes, not caring to admit that his leg was probably bruised now. He’d fix it later, when James wasn’t looking.
The walk up was tiring, even for James’s strong, lean body, Severus began to feel very out of breath. But muggles were still down below… he couldn’t ride on the thestral… He waited a long time before he thought they were out of sight, but James was already the first to hop on.
Once madami Severus had lost. He continued walking.
They were now around the apoy again, the thestral eating apples as Severus and James finished spaghetti. “Just out of curiosity,” Snape began, and James looked up, “What kind of animangus are you?”
James smirked. Boredom had finally overcome them. “I’m a deer. Why?”
“I thought so. That’s why you’re Prongs.”
“Yes.”
“James?”
“What?”
“Why?”
“…what?”
“Why would you throw me to the werewolf?”
“That was Padfoot’s… Sirius’s idea.”
“…but what was he thinking?”
“I don’t know.”
“But you always find it funny when this stuff happens.”
“Because most of it’s a joke.”
“I almost died.”
“Most of it, I said.” James tried not to get irritated.
“I’ve never laughed.”
“Okay! We won’t… we won’t do it again!”
“I need something better than that.”
“Like what?”
“An apology.”
“No.”
“Come on, Potter. Just say it.”
“…why should I?”
“Because you know what you did was wrong.”
“I’m not apologizing for anything.”
“Then I’ll bind your mouth shut again. And make you puke bubbles.”
“How would I puke bubbles if my mouth’s shut?”
“I’ll find a way.”
“I’m not apologizing.”
“Then upside down you go…”
“Fine!” James furrowed his brow and shut his eyes, “I’msorrySnape.”
“What was that? I heard nonsense.”
“…I’m sorry…”
“To who?”
“You.”
“Say it again.”
“I’m sorry, Snape.”
“And what are you sorry for?” Severus savored the moment.
Gritting his teeth, James continued, “I’m sorry for hexing you and everything.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“There’s a lot more.”
“I’m sorry for… uhm… copying your homework… and making you spill the potions… and… uh… everything else.”
“That’s what I wanted to hear.”
“Is that all?”
“Yes. I think I can forgive you now.”
James sighed again. As the sun set Severus lay down and closed his eyes.
James had mounted the thestral and eaten breakfast while Snape was sleeping. “Come on, Snivellus!”
“It’s Severus…”
“Whatever. Come on. Harry’s ready to stretch his legs.”
Severus yawned and stood. “Where’s breakfast?”
“I ate it.”
“You what?”
“Come on!”
And James began to walk away. Knowing he wouldn’t go anywhere without Harry, Snape followed. “Accio bacon!” And he ate while he walked.
Soon after he threw it up. James shook his head, muffling a laugh. Snape hexed Potter’s mouth shut again, and was forced to continue walking along…
They were back in the forest, and the wind had gotten too chilly and the clouds too gray for their liking. Clutching his stomach, Severus moaned.
“Let’s rest for tonight.” James decided, and Snape instantly sat down. James wondered if he was ok, but did not ask. After a few spells to try to warm it up, and another magical fire, Severus was already asleep.
He was limping.
James woke up and saw him limping over to a tree, which he grabbed tight and pressed his face against. His breathing was heavy.
James stood. “Surely that bacon…”
“That’s not it.” Severus moaned and shivered. “Potter… I think that I’m… I’m…” But he coughed suddenly.
And it all became clear.
Snape was the one to die.
Severus was dozing in and out of sleep on tuktok of Harry, his arms wrapped loosely around the thestral’s long neck. For the first time James was not caring about the fact that he wasn’t in his own body. He just needed Severus to be alright.
“Stop.” It was one of the first words he’d sinabi all day, and James put the thestral to a halt. Refusing help, Snape shakily slid off and, after a few moments, threw up again. Slowly and with great awkwardness he got back on tuktok of Harry, his cheeks against the chilly Buto as he tried to sleep again.
“We’re going to make it.” James told him.
Severus slowly nodded. “I know.”
“We’ll give Death what’s coming to him.”
“I know.”
“So just hang in there…”
Severus nodded again and closed his eyes.
“Stop.”
James did so. This time he had to help Severus off the horse, and Severus began to go into a coughing fit, clutching his ribs and heaving onto the ground. James saw blood come out. When it was over, Severus fell to the ground, this time his eyes were wide. Unsure what else to do, James lay beside him.
“Tell me something.” Severus tried to speak clearly.
“What?”
“Why do you pag-ibig Lily?”
It was a very sudden question. James thought a long moment, “Because she’s pretty, but also smart and funny… and she’s easy to make laugh… and I don’t know. I don’t know why. I just do.” James hesitated before speaking again. “You loved her, didn’t you?” He asked, his eyelids suddenly heavy as he buried himself in the nagyelo grass.
Severus managed to snicker. “What’s love?” And, very gently, the snow began to fall, ready to kill the trees and keep the boys from sleeping. Watching it dimly, Severus answered his own question, “It’s for the weak. It leads you to destroying yourself over foolish things.” There was a pause. “No one will ever pag-ibig me.”
James looked at the dying boy, staring him right in the face. They had forgotten they had switched bodies long ago. “You’re almost exactly right, Severus.” It had been the first time to call him sa pamamagitan ng his first name. “You need pag-ibig the most when you’re weak, because it makes you strong. You’d destroy yourself to protect who you love, no matter how foolish you or they are. But you’re wrong with one thing.”
There was another, sleepy, very long pause. “You’re saying you pag-ibig me, James?”
“…don’t push it.”
Severus gave a very weak smile.
It takes a long time to start a magical apoy in the snow.
James awoke very, very startled.
The first thing he noticed was that he was in a bed, warm and comfortable. The segundo thing he noticed was that Severus looked alive and well… and that there were two of him.
James plopped back onto the pillow. “I’m dreaming.”
“Sorry to startle you!” The first Severus said, wrapping an kahel scarf around his face. “I’m so sorry! Henry, please!”
“He’s alive!” The Severus named Henry pointed his finger to the sky. “Thomas, it’s alright!”
“What’s this racket?” And a third Severus entered the room.
It was very surreal. “Who… who are you? Which one of you… where’s…?” Actually, they weren’t Severus at all. They were James. James, who was trapped in Severus’s body. James thought that, along with his hallucination, he’d develop a headache.
But the segundo Severus/James, who was wearing a white tie, slapped James on the shoulder. “I’m Henry. We saw you guys in the cold and had to help you. We took your image, though, your friend was so sick, and…”
“Where is he? What are you?”
“Oh, he’s in the back, still sleeping. Erik’s taking care of him. What were you guys doing all out in the cold, anyway? It’s snowing. You’ll catch a cold.”
James stood. “Wait, where are you…?” Henry gasped, but James was running to the back. The third clone had taken him sa pamamagitan ng the cloak.
“Not so fast. Erik says he needs rest.”
“I need to see him!” James cried out, watching as Henry and Thomas walked into the scene.
“Gautier, calm down…”
Thomas thought for a moment. “Maybe he should see his friend. I mean, if it doesn’t bother Erik…”
“He won’t get in Erik’s way.” Gautier replied, still holding on.
Just then a fourth and fifth clone came out. “Let him see his brother…” And Gautier let go, and James ran into the room the other two had left and saw Severus, who looked entirely healthy.
Smiling, Severus held up a mug. “Hi. Didn’t they offer you hot chocolate, too…?”
“Severus.” James furrowed his brow. “Who are these people?”
“I don’t really know.” Severus giggled, “But I’ve never been happier since I’ve been here…”
James stared back. “This is sort of creepy.”
“I don’t care. It’s like everything that’s ever been wonderful in my life keeps playing over and over…” Severus blushed, grabbing James’s face. “And I’m not sick anymore and everything is fine. You should have some hot chocolate.”
“But… but…”
The five clones burst in at once. “Perhaps he shall eat with the dining hall with us!” One of them yelled. Severus jumped up, being careful not to spill his hot chocolate, before coming into what looked like a restaurant, where a giant omelet was waiting for them on one of the tables. Severus ran toward it, where James came meekly behind.
“What are you guys?” James asked for the third time, looking up in shock and surprise.
Four of them grinned back. “We’re joy.” Henry, the one with the white tie, replied.
Another of them, in dark blue robes, walked up to the table. “Do you know what happens when you’re finished with a patronus? What happens to the blue stuff afterward?”
James hesitated. “It disappears…”
“And where does it go?”
James scratched Severus’s stringy hair. “Right here?”
“Yes. We are built out of patronuses.”
“The reason we look like you,” A clone, covered in an kahel scarf, spoke up, “is because we were once spirits, but the first human we touch gives us bodies.”
James surveyed each and every one of them. “So… you have names, then?”
“Yep. I’m Henry, built out of the happiness from pag-ibig and lovers!” Henry smiled wide, teeth flashing, pointing to himself before straightening out his white tie. “Nice of you to meet me!”
“I am Erik.” Erik bowed. “I am built out of thoughts of peace and blessings. It is wonderful to meet you.” His blue robes wavered in the wind.
“I’m Thomas.” He hid behind his kahel scarf, blushing, pushing thick black glasses up to his nose. “I’m created from thoughts of friendship. And… that’s all…”
“Thou shall call me King Jacob!” He gave a lopsided grin, pushing a crown of fake ginto steady on his head. “I am created from thoughts of strong leadership and prosperity! Welcome!”
The last one took a long time to spoke. His voice was slow and careful. “My name is Gautier. I am created from thoughts of protection and intelligence.” He pushed his black cape out of the way.
Very suddenly, James smiled. “Well… thank you for helping us.”
“Thank you for giving us bodies.” Erik bowed, starting a chorus of ‘thank you’s’ from around the room.
“Well…” James thought a moment longer. “We have to go.”
“…why?” Thomas asked quickly.
“Because we’re under a curse…”
“It’s been a long time since we’ve heard of that curse.” Gautier mumbled. “It is very dangerous. No man has lived going through there.”
James gulped. “Thanks for telling me.”
“I am trying to warn you.” Gautier never made eye contact, but rather looked around the room. “You must be careful. We cannot help you, but while you face death you may at least feel happy.”
Jacob jumped up. “Thomas!” Who looked up, “I decree that you shall give them a token of happiness! Give them the necklace!”
“Yes… of course…” Thomas meekly shook his head, and walked out. He came back later with a small, silver necklace. He placed it around James’s head.
Erik smiled. “Now peace shall be upon you.”
James gave another small smile. “Alright. Thank you for everything. Come on, Severus…”
“But I’m not done eating!”
“We have to go…”
He had to drag his friend out, and as soon as they were gone, Severus already looked pale. James placed the kuwintas around him, helped him to mount Harry, and took off. Oddly enough, Severus looked very peaceful in his sleep.
A mountain had been cut cleanly into, providing a twisting path all the way to the peak. It was so ginormous, and James sighed before following Severus and Harry up.
It quickly grew dark, and they rested right in the middle of the pathway. The magical apoy burned its warmth.
“I can see thestrals,” Severus spoke suddenly, startling James, “because of my parents.”
“…which one?”
“My dad. My mum murdered him over the summer.”
James felt shocked, first about the parents, then about the total coolness on Severus’s face as he had sinabi it. “…why?”
“He hated us. I guess mum grew tired one day… and killed him. Avada Kedavra.”
“…wow.” James felt rather breathless.
“I want you to know.”
“…what?”
“About me.” Severus’s tired eyes sparked with a certain, excited flame. “I want to live a little longer, if it means my story is through you…”
James thought a moment. “That makes sense, I suppose…”
And Severus grinned, holding the kuwintas tight with his fist, which was still dangling around his neck. “My father always hated us. Wish I’d never been born, he told her. But she forced him to support us, or he’d suffer magical punishment…”
“My mom wasn’t the best. She gave me everything but was never there. My dad was a drunk. Then I met Sirius…”
“…I saw Lily when I was nine. She was so pretty. And I was so shy. Imagine, a young girl swinging on the playground, minding her own business, when a boy in a blusa and heavy dyaket walked up to her…”
“I knew I was in pag-ibig with her when I was thirteen. But it was so hard. She was always with you… and I told myself, she’s not meant for me, leave it alone… and I guess I took the stress out on you…”
“She hated me now. What was I supposed to do? Who was I supposed to love? Lucius had always taken me under his wing… but now that he was gone, I fled to Mulciber. He thought me worthy enough to drag into one of the death eater meetings…”
“Peter has been getting weirder lately. It’s worrying me. I want to help him but I can’t. I wonder what he’s up to… I hope he stays safe…”
Both boys looked at each other for a moment. Severus gave a small smile. “Good night, James.”
“Good night.”
And they fell asleep.
Climbing up a mountain is serious work. Severus wasn’t puking anymore, but was now always asleep. Sometimes he’d cough up blood, and James would try to help him with a spell, but Severus refused. “It’s better for these kinds of things to be left alone.” He had said, his eyes still closed, “The curse might grow stronger if you try to reverse it…”
Up and up and up. They’d reach the sky at this point. No, they’d reach heaven.
Instead, they reached a bunch of thestrals, all crowded around together. Harry stopped, and whinnied slightly. James knew they were close. He helped Severus off and they walked father up together, until they stood right in front of a cave.
Severus and James, very awkwardly and tiredly, dug a hole laboriously with their hands, and buried their wand in the dirt. Both their minds at a breaking point, and feeling so vulnerable, they naisumite themselves and walked inside.
It was a room of potions upon potions. Innumerable flasks lined up against each other, carrying what looked like water. One of them, however, was spilling over, beside a flask that looked entirely empty. James pointed to it silently, and Severus nodded. He creeped over, picked it up carefully, and poured it in the empty flask.
Surely enough, the color regained in Severus’s face, and he grinned. James motioned for him to stay quiet, then looked into the cauldron. He saw… horrible, evilness… human souls… so greedy, and mean, always looking out for themselves…
Disgusted, James turned away. He spotted what looked like a penseive. He looked into it, and perhaps, because it had been brewing and bubbling for so long, he didn’t even have to step in to see what was happening.
They were dancing, and the couple loved each other.
Still unsatisfied, James saw a door. Ignoring Severus’s dirty looks and warnings to leave, James opened it slowly… and gasped…
A woman, paper white and colorless eyes, completely bald, was sitting in a corner, looking like an old, long forgotten doll, but she was breathing…
A hand grasped James’s shoulder. A man looked solemnly ready to kill. “What, dear child, are you doing in my cave?”
They hadn’t yet returned to their original bodies, but they couldn’t be less concerned about it.
They were bound together, unable to move, sitting on the stone cave floor. “I told you we should’ve left.” Severus snickered.
“You didn’t.”
“But you know that I…”
“Quiet, children.” Death began stirring into his cauldron. “You saw. And I can’t let you leave and babble mindlessly about my poor daughter… So now your time has come…”
“Did you used to be human?”
It was a sudden question. Severus watched Death, who turned wide eyed, snarl. “Is that any of your business…? That I had a wife and children and eventually had to kill them? Why, tell me, would you want to know?”
“I just wanted to…”
“That everything I loved dies… but no, not this time… I’ll have something to love… I’ll have a child… I will create life… but you will not be around to see…”
And he splashed their lives into the cauldron.
Dying came all at once, and very slowly.
They shut their eyes, hearts growing slow and breaths getting raspy. Gradually, the mist came out of their eyes, mouths, ears and noses, ipinapakita friendship and love. Very gentle, a doe and a ng mga lalaki formed, right beside the fresh corpses.
The mga hayop looked at each other for a moment, and then each nodded. A tremendous amount of respect was felt before they disappeared.
Now they were brothers, and they died in peace.
Brother, brother…
Yes?
We’re so free.
Yes…
We’re so loved.
Yes…
We’re at peace.
Yes…
And you're my friend. I pag-ibig you.
And I pag-ibig you. Brother, brother…
Yes?
Let’s pag-ibig forever…
…and always…
…for eternity…
Together.
When Severus Snape awoke he was back inside his own body, and he was absolutely sobbing. James was right beside him, doing the same.
“We felt your patronuses.” Gautier spoke, ignoring their emotions. The boys themselves did not know if they were overcome with happiness of such the beautiful place, or sadness that they had to leave. “I had never felt such protection before. Normally, happiness comes from taking, being protected, but both of you were different…”
“So we helped you.” Henry spoke up.
Thomas blushed, hiding behind his scarf. “We ran all the way up the mountain and saw you…”
“And we found the girl Death hath created…” Jacob continued.
“And we gave her life.” Erik finished.
James blinked tiredly. “How are we alive?” The tears continued dripping off his cheeks. He didn’t even care to wipe them away.
“Because if there is evil, there has to be good.” Erik smiled suddenly. “He is Death, but we are Life.”
“…where’s the girl?” Severus asked after a while, letting Erik’s statement sink in.
“Well, I hope you don’t mind. She was very bare, so we painted her a little.” Henry giggled. “Here she is.” And out came Lily Evans, looking very alive and beautiful. The only difference was her blonde hair and blue eyes.
She looked at the boys, and bowed. “Thank you for saving me.”
“We shall name her Rose! Rose Snavs!” Jacob decreed.
“I guess she’ll be saying with us.” Gautier frowned. “I will protect her.”
“And we can talk! And teach her things!” Thomas gave a shy smile. “If I could teach, I mean… maybe I won’t be good at it…”
Severus and James looked at the patronus people, and at Rose, and stopped crying. They had a long way tahanan to Hogwarts.
I've compiled a listahan of all of the names we've created (so far). I'll add to it as we come up with new ideas.
> Perry/Nathaniel = Perennial
> Jo/Alec = Jolec
> Kaitlyn/James = Jaitlyn Marpotter
> Priya/Jericho = Jeya/Pericho/Pericha? (we're still working on that one at the moment)
> Primrose/Louis = Precious
> Primrose/Hugo = Prugo
> Primrose/James = Pames
> Emma/Stephen = Stepha
If you guys decide to change any on the names, let me know in the "Comments" section. And if you haven't figured out what to use for your ship, keep working on it!
> Perry/Nathaniel = Perennial
> Jo/Alec = Jolec
> Kaitlyn/James = Jaitlyn Marpotter
> Priya/Jericho = Jeya/Pericho/Pericha? (we're still working on that one at the moment)
> Primrose/Louis = Precious
> Primrose/Hugo = Prugo
> Primrose/James = Pames
> Emma/Stephen = Stepha
If you guys decide to change any on the names, let me know in the "Comments" section. And if you haven't figured out what to use for your ship, keep working on it!