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posted by KateKicksAss
I found these online, and thought they were kinda funny, :)
Credit: wiki answers, wattpad.com, b l o g s p o t.com


How many Twilighters does it take to screw on a light bulb?
I don't know, they're all too busy fighting over who gets to be Mrs Cullen

What happened when Emmett Cullen stubbed his toe?
He made the whole city collapse!

Rosalie Hale was told to find something just as or madami beautiful then herself. She came back with a mirror!

How do you stop Jacob Black from attacking you?
You pick up a stick, throw it and yell "fetch"!

How do you irritate Edward Cullen?
Buy him a dog and call it Jacob!

Why can't Edward read Bella's mind?
There's nothing to read.

Jasper will never be a therapist because he already knows "how you feel about that".

I keep wanting to steal Jasper
but everytime I go to his bedroom window
Alice is waiting with a baseball bat...
how does she kno... oh yeah!!!


Dear Diary,
I would like to La Push Jacob of a cliff.
pag-ibig Edward


I went to La Push Washington, and all I got was this stupid imprint.

Jasper Hales first job was as a paperboy, there were no survivors.

Tips for guys trying to find a girlfriend:
1. Read the Twilight Saga.
2. Watch Twilight movies.
3. In every real-life situation, think, "What would Edward do?


Boy: You know Edward Cullen isn't real, right?
Girl: Well fake boobs aren't real, but you still like to look at those!


Dear Edward,
Thanks a lot...
sincerely,
Guys everywhere
added by Cittycat19
added by Angie22
Source: http://mugs.cafepress.com/twilight_large-mugs
added by Angie22
Source: http://mugs.cafepress.com/twilight_large-mugs
added by CleoSertoriFan
added by twilightfann
added by Kaidi
added by Zeisha
added by Moneik
I must say I came up with most of those symtoms! When I first started this list, it contained only 50 reasons, but each day, I added five or 6 new. Today this post has 200+2! (I have to say that after a while I thought this listahan could be really long! It would be good if I could add madami reasons, so I found a pagtitip. here and added some of the fan’s opinions).
I hope you’ll enjoy this!

200+2 Symtoms of the Obsessive Twilight Disorder!

1) Always looking out the window for a rabbit, silver Volvo, red Jeep or a yellow Porsche!
2) You like telling to walang tiyak na layunin people who much you pag-ibig Twilight!
3) “Googling”...
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posted by KatiiCullen94
Title: Sink or Swim
Author: fallensky_xx (KatiiCullen94)
Fandom: Twilight (Jacob/Bella)
Rating: PG-14 (Sucide themes)
Characters: Bella Swan, Alice Cullen, Charlie Swan, Jacob Black.
Genre: Depression, death, sucide

I looked at my tranformed face, as Alice stood behind me fiddling with my bridal hair, her face light up with her smile that shes worn since her first news of Edward and I's Engagement. My eyes were highlighted with the worlds most expensive mascara and eyeliner ,which was playing in apoy with my twitchy body, If it wasn't for Alice absolute vampiric balanced posture and naturE then I...
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Chapter 23: Hide and please don't seek.

This is a small book i am Pagsulat about the life of Renesmee cullen after (Breaking Dawn)(she is now a teen) It is in he rpoint of view for almost the whole time (with a few exceptions) I suggest starting from chapter 1 to get the full impact and information (:

My final decision that led me tahanan was based on the fact that i had a sudden need for comfort. Although the truth that i hated what i had become made me doubt myself the whole way.It wasn't that being a vampire was wrong, but that it wasn't what was supposed to happen.

If it had came down to it,...
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posted by renesmee567
bella pov.
it was a short plane ride but a long car ride to the clock tower.It was a very sunny day,luckitly jane bought me a pair of shorts and a blue tank tuktok and a pair of sneakers.then they got out of the car and said"STAY HERE"jane order.
so i did then a oras later,they came back with 5 people knocked out 3 females all with brown with black highlights,but al looked my age and 2 where male weired they where not knocked out or tied up not even a blindfold,then we where a someplace then somebody opened the car door and took my arm and then those girls,i felt like i was i taken

three mintunes...
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posted by Renesmee_XD
Summary: A one-shot inspired sa pamamagitan ng the song Grenade sa pamamagitan ng Bruno Mars
Pairings : Canon ExB ( All Human //Alternative Universe)
Rating : T (13 + only)
Inspired: Grenade- Bruno Mars

Time will make you forget me but time will make me pag-ibig you madami than before.


I knew one day, he would leave me and he did, I didn't know what to feel when it happened: pain or expectance?

The one that came was pain and I welcomed it with open arms, I suffered hard but nothing could have been helped. It was my stupidity I had foolishly made a bet with Tanya that she could never seduce him and she did.
I was an idiot so blind...
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posted by LexisFaith
Sorry I haven't written one of these in a while. Forgive me. Just to be clear, Rose is the one that last talked about "the other one", meaning another baby. Neither Bella nor Alice are prego. :) Thanks for waiting!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hello?" Rose waved her hand infront of our face. "Guys?"

"ANOTHER ONE?" Alice yelled making everyone within a ten mile radius jump.

Rose smiled. "Yeah. I haven't even told Emmett yet."

"Rose. That's awesome!" I leaned across the counter to hug her.

"I think so to." She smiled. "I really hope this one is a girl. Maybe she won't be as...
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posted by LexisFaith
Bella

"Oh." Alice gasped.
"My." Rosalie gasped.
"God." They finished together.
"And you never showed us this before why?!" Emmett boomed.

They were staying in our guest house. That's why there was a heavy door and it's own key. You walked in two a miniture halway when you first walked through the door. The first room was big and open. The kusina froming an L straight ahead. The living room and kusina were sepreated only big a big, plush, creamy, white rug. A sectional that matched the rug was placed infront of a small coffee mesa and a fifty-two inch television. On the pader beside the kitchen...
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 Finally a picture of him laying down! *Disclaimer*
Finally a picture of him laying down! *Disclaimer*
I gazed into Bella's golden eyes. To me I was the luckiest man alive. To be laying with this angel. A very beautiful 16 taon old daughter of mine in the other room and very warm welcoming, and understanding family. I wanted to send a note to god saying 'thank you'. A few years had passed, Bella was a full vegitarian now. The crimson eyes had faded faster than we'd expected.
"Hun, what are you thinking about?" My angel whispered to me, intterupting my thoughts.
"You, Love." I replied shutting my eyes for a few seconds. She smiled brightly at me. I returned the smile. What I wouldn't give if...
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posted by twilight_james
"Edward, Im a werewolf" I told him
****
"Bella," Alices voice was panicked. "Bella, he doesn't want to live anymore. He's going back to the Volturi, and they will kill him this time!"
******
I walked down the dark corridor, Jacob and Sam and the rest of the pack were with me. We were in Volterra, and just about to enter the turrent room. Memories came flooding back to me-Janes smile, Edward in agony, Alice holding me back. I shook them away and rushed into the doors. Edward was being held between two Bampira ares.
He twisted his head around to look at me. "Bella, I'm so sorry"
And then Aro twisted...
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posted by BellaCullenHale
 My legs going at blinding speed
My legs going at blinding speed
BIOLOGY
Here I sit,in biology. Emmett's bite had healed.The pleased my family. She walked in then,her scent filled the room. Mr.Banner walked in with a VCR. A movie day... She sighed. She turned to look at me. Her eyes mesmerizing,milky brown eyes staring deep into mine. My throat burned the slightest bit at the reaction of her scent. ''Enjoying the weather?'' I asked a little smug,staring out the window. The rain punded againest the glass. ''Umm...No'' She sinabi sarcastic. I laughed half heartedly. The lights went off then. I heard the small whispers of my classmates. The opening credits...
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posted by joe-edwardfan
I was crying when Edward told me he doesn’t wants me anymore his face was hard as a statue with no emotions I was begging him to stay but he sinabi its to dangerous for him to be with me it occurred to me maybe Alice had a vision that something is going to happen to me I looked up at him with pleading eyes but he turned around and left me in the woods.
I woke up screaming from the nightmare I saw, Edward was holding me in his arms ,he was looking at me confused I looked back at him seeing him there with me it was just a dream, I was dreaming , trying to comfort myself “are you alright love?”He...
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