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Twilight Book Paroides

added by xxXsk8trXxx

Source: Many people on Deviantart, mostly JezFez81

I lol'd hard.

kasanayan ng tagahanga

twilight

parody

anti

cover

mispulka likes this

HPFan4Eever Eat her soul then xD

Darkshine ^this. :D

25

Something Wrong?

added by Kaidi

Source: somewhere from Google images.

25

Bampira vs Twilight

added by Mallory23

Source: http://blackdahlia.deviantart.com/art/It-s-Twilight-Time-91626320

40

Incest's the Best! Cullen Family

added by laureng114

Source: Photobucket.com

22

Sparkling Vampires?

added by McDreamyluva

14

The Results of the Story Time Game...

posted by renrae

If you have ever doubted the insanity of the C.A.T. Kittens, this will cease your doubts. I think it got long enough to be put into artikulo pagtitip. thread. This makes absolutely no sense, does have swearwords, includes lots exremely odd things, and is kind of innapropriate. You've been warned.

~~~~

One araw Bella fell over while being chased sa pamamagitan ng Steve the Spider, while Edward and Jacob were kissing. Pausing every once in a while to get a dazzling breath when Alice walked in on them and sinabi - "Edward, what are you doing? You know Bella is over there. Wait...you're GAY?"

"Yes, but don't tell Bella...

9

IS SM into brain-washing?

posted by kayleebabee

Is it just me or is SM into brainwashing? She has systamatically taken over the world with her books. susunod she will be Americas first ever hem hem SPARKLY PRESIDENT (no offence Barrack you rock) and twi hardiness has been taken to a whole knew level people religions such as CULLENISM yes you guys heard me cul-llen-ism.
Here is the cullenism 10 'commandments'

1.thou shalt wear ginto contact lenses-even to sleep!
2. thou shalt only drink cherryade or cranberry juice (bassically its gotta be red)
3. thou shalt not take the lords name in vain (robert pattinson) cept when you are screaming it at his...

16

What were Edward's Reasons for Leaving Bella in New Moon?

posted by mandapanda

I posted this a couple other spots, but I would really like to know anti-twilight/neutral fans opinions. I sort of ranted on the subject, but I think my intent is pretty clear. I'd pag-ibig to read comments if you have any, or you can just skip this artikulo :)

This is sort of an informal rant/observation.

We all know that New Moon is about tragedy and the loss of pag-ibig and the aftermath. Edward left Bella. But why did he leave her?

Since New Moon is being adapted into a feature length film, I've been seeing alot of tanong and accusations reguarding Edward's absense.

Examples:
- Jacob's better...

11

Twilight in Short. How many trees could SM have saved?

posted by huddysmacked

Hey ya kittens! I was wondering in how many words could I write Twilight giving the same character development as Meyer and saying obviously the main plot so don’t bash…I had a lot of fun doing it XDD It’s not to offend anyone but think about it trees could have been saved if Meyer had stuck with this version.

So on with reading

Hi! My name is Bella Swan, I’m moving to Forks because I want to leave my mom with his new boyfriend live happily ever after although I hate where my father leaves. Forks it’s a rainy state and so I’m in an airplane to go to it.

When I arrive there’s my...

21

Watch The Claws, Kittens!

posted by Dearheart

Hello, mga kuting and newcomers to the CAT! Don’t worry, none of you are in trouble or anything; I just feel that things have gotten a teensy bit out of hand, so I’m Pagsulat this as a reminder to all of you before it gets worse.

Newcomers, if you haven’t already, link It’s very important that people follow them so that we can keep this spot from turning ugly.

For those of you who’ve already read them, let’s review Rule 5:

Make sure the material you ibigay stays true to the spirit of this spot. Whether it’s a soapbox, image, video, etc...please make sure it doesn’t have excessive language,...

43

Rules and Guidelines (Updated!)

posted by Dearheart

1) Bring a good sense of humor. Don’t ever take things personally, and try not to be too sensitive. Otherwise you’ll be miserable. Just let loose, have fun, and be willing to laugh.

2) If someone offends you, don’t blow up. Respond in a polite, mature way, point out what offended you and why you find it offensive. If it’s something serious or happens to be one of the things forbidden in Rule 5, chances are people will back you up and the problem will work out. If it isn’t, reread Rule 1.

3) Twi-hards, this isn’t a place to drool over Edward or gush about how amazing the Twilight...

18

Lauren: A Mini-Rant

posted by renrae

Lauren, Lauren, Lauren, Lauren. She's the blond girl in twilight. The one tricked sa pamamagitan ng a modeling scam, the one that hates Bella. We first meet Lauren in the cafeteria, I believe. Almost all Twilight fans do not like her. I mean no disrespect to the ones on this spot or any others, but I do not think she has a reason to be hated. Reasons people give for hating Lauren are similar to the reasons for hating Jessica. "She's rude", "She's mean to bella and stupid", even "she's blond." That last one made no sense to me. The reason Lauren "hates" Bella is because her crush, Tyler, is infatuated with...

13

My view;

posted by AliceHaleCullen

I'm so glad to have found a spot that isn't full of people gushing over how hot Robert Pattinson is. Since the movie came out, the original idea of the series has deteriorated.

I used to feel proud to call myself a 'Twilight' fan. I first read it in 2005, and to be quite honest I loved how nobody had read it, it seemed really special. So called 'Fans' who now go around using the word 'Twilighter' just because they have seen the film have ruined it for everyone else.

Fair enough, it's nobodies fault it has been made into an overated hyped movie, but if they really understood what it meant before...

26

The Success Of Twilight Versus The Failure of The Subtle kutsilyo

posted by Cinders

Despite whatever impressions you may have garnered from the pamagat of this article, this is not about glorifying Twilight over His Dark Materials. It's about scolding the movie industry for giving New moon the green light while simultaneously giving The Subtle Knife the red light.

I know that Hollywood is a business, just as book selling is a buisness, above all else. The only time films are made for the sake of making films anymore is if they're independent. I admit that the occasional brilliantly artistic film makes it into the mainstream, and when it does, it's often recognized and lauded....

102

The 6 stupidest things I wondered when pagbaba Twilight

posted by Asvini

I've talked about some of the things that crossed my mind when pagbaba Twilight in the past. Thoughts such as "when is Bella going to freak out about the Edward watching her sleep thing?" "Did that say sparkling? I've re-read that passage like, four times and it still seems to say sparkling" "Does Stephanie Meyer think deer is a vegetable? no, really does she? Does she think you can call yourself a vegetarian if you don't eat things like people or those monkeys who know sign language?"
But those are valid thoughts that many people pagbaba the books also thought (well, maybe not specifically...

6

What Twilight Has Brought Onto The World

posted by OneFoggyNight

Yes, it's true, everyone! Twilight has changed our world in several ways!!

No longer are streets near movie theaters and bookstores safe! I haven't seen even one free from screaming fangirls (and yes, screaming fanboys) when the new pelikula come out and even after it's all been done for about a buwan or so. Yeah, there are still girls running around in "I <3 guys that sparkle" t-shirts carring on about how great the twilight movie was at the movie theater in my town.

The world now has fewer trees than ever before, just because there where over millions of pieces of paper used for the twilight...

14

My C.A.T Family (what boredom can do to you)

posted by Myf_1992

As the pamagat suggests out of boredom I made a family out of the kittehs here who I talk to most, giving kittehs roles within the family from how I view them.

God:
The God of the family is Bastet, She is mighty and furry, and I give Her daily offerings of cream, catnip and balls of yarn. All hail Her Glorious Fluffiness.

MomCat:
Everyone knows who MomCat is(if you don't its DearHeart), she's loving and kind and nurturing. She keeps us in line and makes sure RenCat(renrae) hasn't had too many blue Smarties.

GodCats (AuntieCats and GodMotherCats didn't sound right):
These two I view as funny and kind...

12

imterveiw with a twihard

posted by kayleebabee

this is a study i have conducted to ask what is the big deal weith twilight and edward cullen I asked my littlesister tasha what she thought of the global phenomenon that has all the worlds women gripped in an edward cullen orgasm.

Me: why do you think Edward Cullen is *shudders violently* hot?
Tasha: (I have made her sagot sound like she has n intellectual brain cell through hours of trranslating twilight gibberish) I think it is mostly because he is unnatainable and perfect.
(what she actually sinabi was: squeeeeeeee edward cullen i want him but cant have him because that asong babae bella is his...

9

walang tiyak na layunin little rant on Bella.

posted by monLOVEbrucas

Bella Sawn.... Hmmm.

If my bestfreind has loved me, kissed me, tried to ruin my relationship with my boyfriend, i wouldn't be all cool with him loving my child.... including because she's young and his old.
Bella didn't react properly.
I wanted her to get really mad, i wanted Jacob to be banned from seeing Nessie, not have 10 minutos go by, and his aloud to hold her again.

They say you dont choose love, pag-ibig choose's you.
I believe in that but Reneseme, didn't get a choice? Somehow this imprinting thing assumes the person the wolfs are going to fall inlove with are going to pag-ibig them back?

In twilight saga this is the thing i do not understand or get no matter how much i try...
and I just felt the need to let that out LOL even though i have so much madami i would like to let out.

20

Why Can't I Stop Visiting the C.A.T. Spot?

posted by laureng114

Ever since its kamakailan creation I have not been able to stop visiting this spot (Not that it's a problem...haha). I decided to sit down and ponder and from my pondering came this list.

1. Everybody rates EVERYTHING.
I mean EVERYTHING. Nothing goes unrated and everyone always rates fairly.

2. The Forums are always buzzing.
I absolutely pag-ibig visiting the forums. Someone is always there looking to chat and the comments are sure to put a smile on my face.

3. I can have intelligent and enjoyable conversations
I don't feel like I talk to someone and all they have to say is, "OMG you pag-ibig (insert...

19

Twilight... The Right Way

posted by xxXsk8trXxx

This artikulo may be offencive to a lot of Twihards. Viewer disgrettion is advised

Edward: Bella,I'm dangerous, stay away.
Bella: But Edward, I pag-ibig you!
Edward: Me too, but I'm dangerous, so you have to stay away from me
Bella: But Edward, you're the pag-ibig of my life! We have to be together!
Edward: Fear me and my sparkiling skin! *takes off shirt*
Bella: Wait a second, you sparkle?
Edward: Isn't it frightening?
Bella: No. Sorry to break it to ya Edward, but it's gay
Edward: I kissed Emmet one time...
Bella: How old are you?
Edward: 100
Bella: Eeew! Aren't there laws about 100 taon olds and 17 taon olds...