The last solstice

Chapter 11: The windmills of her mind – Part 2


His first thought was to get the dayami out of there, when he had the chance. It was an instinctive thought. He feared for his life. But, another part of him did not allow the luxury of backing out of this situation. Something was stronger than fear. Actually it’s two things. Compassion and hate. Nocturnal Mirage could not decide which one was madami powerful. The only thing he knew he must go after the Princess. And so he did.

Celestia has retreated to her bedroom and seemed she has completely forgotten the royal blue stallion. She did not even close the door. Mirage approaches the entrance slowly. First, he pokes his head inside. The curtains are pulled, gloominess rules the premise. The earth parang buriko pushes the door in, but hesitates to enter, like if there was an invisible line, that he could not pass. He hears the sobs of the Princess, but cannot see where she is in the weak light. Mirage gulps and summons upon all of his courage. His acts are completely irrational, and he knows it. This room is probably the most private section of the sun goddess and he's about to defile it.

But, as if his hooves were controlled sa pamamagitan ng some unknown force, he eventually takes a step inside. The cobalt stallion looks around the room. It’s a little less messier than the other rooms. A large baldachin kama dominates the premise. There’s the piano of course, the half empty goblet is still on it. Mirage spots a beauty mesa at the other corner. It’s covered sa pamamagitan ng cobwebs and the mirror is busted in. Then he sees it. Something has been carved into the thick walls.

"I’m not a monster!"

And it’s madami than one. One side of the bedroom is filled with engravings, with wobbly letters, and different sizes, but all saying:

"I’m not a monster!"

Mirage’s eyes widen. Oh my goodness… the Princess truly has Nawawala her mind! he thinks.

He approaches the huge bed. He sees the silhouette of the white alicorn behind the transparent, gauzy curtains. She still sobs violently. The stallion wants to stop and rush out of there, but he can’t. Some unexplainable force keeps pulling him closer to the Princess, despite the fact that she threatened to kill him mere minutos ago.

Celestia doesn’t move, only tremors of sorrow shake her body every once in a while. Mirage is only a step away from her kama chambers. He can see her clearly now. The solar Princess buries her face in her hooves, using her long, billowing mane to cover her body. Something tells Mirage to ilipat even closer and pull aside the curtains. Something tells him to address the white alicorn, but at this point, his instincts take over and he freezes.

Suddenly, Celestia stops crying and lays still in silence for about a minute. Then she sits up. She’s facing the wall; the blue earth parang buriko can only see the back of her swan-like neck. Mirage doesn’t know what to do; he idles on the same spot immovably. He wonders if the Princess is aware of his presence. But Celestia leaves him without a doubt that she knows.

“You have come to destroy me.” she says objectively, on a deep, passionless voice.

Mirage recoils in surprise. This was a rather unexpected statement from the sun goddess. He’s speechless, and before he could react something, Celestia continues.

“There’s paper-knife on the desk. Use it.”

“Princess, I… don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Sure you do. Pick up that knife! It’s very sharp. I used to open my letters with it back in the day, I know.”

“With all due respect… you need help your Highness…” Mirage whispers weakly.

“Indeed.” Celestia says on the same monotone voice, then jumps out of the bed. “Now if you’ve come this far, finish what you've started! Pick up that knife! I will not resist.”

She lowers her head and reveals her dainty neck, but still in a way that only her left side is visible. Mirage has to admit that the thought is pretty tempting. Oh, he has dreamed about it for a thousand years, while he was gone with the Crystal Empire. He even planned what to say…

A thousand years ago, a whole empire vanished because of you… Now I have come to give you the same oblivion, alicorn…

His breathing accelerates, the golden kutsilyo shines evilly on the desk. He looks at Celestia, then at the knife, then back at Celestia again. She waits patiently. Her eyes are closed. No matter how hard he tries to get himself into the mood, the warm apoy of pag-ibig and compassion slowly snuffs out the black flame of rage in his soul.

“No. This is not the way to end it.” he declares softly, but resolutely.

The sun goddess slowly raises her head and pierces his eyes into Mirage’s.

“You’re not stallion enough… I deserve it. I am nothing but a horrible monstrosity on this world.” she states grimly, but she remains calm.

“Princess, I don’t think you’re a…” Mirage begins but he’s cut short sa pamamagitan ng Celestia.

“A MONSTER?!” she exclaims harshly.

“Well… yes…” the cobalt stallion ang sumagot unsteadily.

“Hmm.” an undisguised smirk expands on the alicorn’s face. “Come closer then.”

Mirage takes a step closer. Every muscle in his body strains, preparing for a possible attack.

“Closer…” Celestia purrs, her voice is suddenly filled with warmness.

The stallion obeys.

“Closer…”

They are only a few inches away from each other now. Celestia lowers her head once madami to look the earth parang buriko in the eye.

“I want to ipakita you something…” she whispers, like a passionate lover.

Perplexity and confusion is written on Mirage’s features as he furrows a brow. Suddenly the Princess grabs her own mane and pulls it up from the other half of her face. The motion is so rapid, that the royal blue stallion is startled just sa pamamagitan ng that. But as he lays eyes upon Celestia’s face, he immediately understands why she was always hiding this side of her body.

Deep, burnt scars furrow the entire right side of her face, from her ear, through her eyelid, down her cheek. As his eyes travel downward he spots a smaller scar on her neck too. The right side of her chest looks like a battlefield. The deepest burns are here, the ebony black scars make quite a contrast to her pure white coat. Even her right hoof is completely black and covered almost entirely with scars. Mirage did not notice that before. He understands now why did she bust all the mirrors. He understands now why she locked herself into the Ivory Tower. At least, some aspects of it.
Celestia lets him absorb the sight.

“Behold, the true form of your Princess!” she calls out, scornfully, but it’s rather directed at herself than Mirage.

Mirage can’t take it anymore. That delirious flame in her eyes. is so penetrating… her voice is so distant and sharp... She still holds her mane up and laughs at Mirage as he backs away from the solar alicorn.

“Ha ha ha ha ha! Run, little pony, run!” Celestia smirks and lets down her mane again. The grin melts away from her face as the stallion runs out of her suite.

“Run, like all the others…”