Looking for a laugh?
Say no more, look no further! :{D
1.
Two guys are taking the subway. One of them had a bunch of bananas and a jar of musterd. He peeled a banana, dipped it in the mustard and threw it out of the window. The other guy looked at him weird, but decided not to say anything. After a minuto or two, he did the same thing. Peeled the banana, put it in the mustard, and threw it out of the subway train!
"Why on Earth are you doing that." the guy said.
"Hell, do you like bananas with mustard?"
2.
Two guys, Buck and Jamie, were sitting with Mindy, Jamie's girlfriend, in a bar chatting. Buck was amorously glancing towards Mindy, but carefully of course, as Jamie is very jealous. When Jamie got to the bathroom real quick, Mindy whispered Buck hastily:
"Grab your chance! Now!!"
Buck looked around nervously, and drank Jamie's serbesa up in 1 draft, and ran away.
3.
Why do Japanese students always have such a high IQ? Ever seen a blonde Japanese kid?
4.
I used to hate weddingparties when I was younger. Everyone gave me a poke in my side, saying:
"Hey, when will it be your turn?"
They all stopped when I began doing the same thing... on funerals.
5.
"Tell me, Rose. You're married to an archaeologist, right? Isn't that boring?"
"Not at all! The older I get, the madami interesting I get to him!"
6.
So once upon a time there was a doctor who had sex with his patient. He has so many regret for it that his concious started to play games with him. To calm himself down, he continuously told himself:
"It's not that bad. You're not the first doctor who's been in kama with his patient, and you're certainly not going to be the last."
But then his other half pulled him inside the real world again, saying:
"But buddy... you're an animal doctor...
7.
So this blonde girl walked into a store.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl left, and returned to the store a while after, only with dark hair.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl left, and returned to the store a while after, only with purple hair.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl asked:
"I don't get it, I'm not even blonde anymore, why wouldn't you sell me that tv, mister?"
"Because this is a microwave!"
8.
Why did Napoleon wear a red vest? Because he was a hero whose environment wouldn't notice a thing if he was injured.
So now we know why Hitler wore brown pants.
9.
It's a warm, sunny say on the funeral. An old man was standing susunod to an open grave, as a boy walked sa pamamagitan ng and said:
"Feels great, huh gramps, taking a breath of fresh air?"
10.
Yesterday I've witnessed the greatest thing. I got tahanan from an evening at the pub (not too late this time). I came inside and my wive received me, dressed in sexy damit pan-loob and holding only two velvet cords. She told me:
"Tie me up, and afterwards you may do anything you want..."
So I tied her up and went to get me another beer!
Say no more, look no further! :{D
1.
Two guys are taking the subway. One of them had a bunch of bananas and a jar of musterd. He peeled a banana, dipped it in the mustard and threw it out of the window. The other guy looked at him weird, but decided not to say anything. After a minuto or two, he did the same thing. Peeled the banana, put it in the mustard, and threw it out of the subway train!
"Why on Earth are you doing that." the guy said.
"Hell, do you like bananas with mustard?"
2.
Two guys, Buck and Jamie, were sitting with Mindy, Jamie's girlfriend, in a bar chatting. Buck was amorously glancing towards Mindy, but carefully of course, as Jamie is very jealous. When Jamie got to the bathroom real quick, Mindy whispered Buck hastily:
"Grab your chance! Now!!"
Buck looked around nervously, and drank Jamie's serbesa up in 1 draft, and ran away.
3.
Why do Japanese students always have such a high IQ? Ever seen a blonde Japanese kid?
4.
I used to hate weddingparties when I was younger. Everyone gave me a poke in my side, saying:
"Hey, when will it be your turn?"
They all stopped when I began doing the same thing... on funerals.
5.
"Tell me, Rose. You're married to an archaeologist, right? Isn't that boring?"
"Not at all! The older I get, the madami interesting I get to him!"
6.
So once upon a time there was a doctor who had sex with his patient. He has so many regret for it that his concious started to play games with him. To calm himself down, he continuously told himself:
"It's not that bad. You're not the first doctor who's been in kama with his patient, and you're certainly not going to be the last."
But then his other half pulled him inside the real world again, saying:
"But buddy... you're an animal doctor...
7.
So this blonde girl walked into a store.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl left, and returned to the store a while after, only with dark hair.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl left, and returned to the store a while after, only with purple hair.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl asked:
"I don't get it, I'm not even blonde anymore, why wouldn't you sell me that tv, mister?"
"Because this is a microwave!"
8.
Why did Napoleon wear a red vest? Because he was a hero whose environment wouldn't notice a thing if he was injured.
So now we know why Hitler wore brown pants.
9.
It's a warm, sunny say on the funeral. An old man was standing susunod to an open grave, as a boy walked sa pamamagitan ng and said:
"Feels great, huh gramps, taking a breath of fresh air?"
10.
Yesterday I've witnessed the greatest thing. I got tahanan from an evening at the pub (not too late this time). I came inside and my wive received me, dressed in sexy damit pan-loob and holding only two velvet cords. She told me:
"Tie me up, and afterwards you may do anything you want..."
So I tied her up and went to get me another beer!
Ok let me tell you 14 resons how :3
Ok some of these pertend i'm a boy
1)Put your arm around a person you don't know
2)Then twirl another walang tiyak na layunin persons hair and ask them if there going to the game tonight
3)Offer them hair
4)tell them about your period last night
5)tell them about the bird and the bees
6)rub your self against the teacher
7)look in to a walang tiyak na layunin persons eyes and make a very weird face
8)showing your friend your dick
9)come to skool pag-awit the barney song
10)talk to your friend and take off your wig and ipakita them your really miley cyrus
11)pick your nose and ask someone if they want a bite
12)rape a walang tiyak na layunin person
13)start crying in the hall for no reason
14)JUMP!!!!!!!
Ok some of these pertend i'm a boy
1)Put your arm around a person you don't know
2)Then twirl another walang tiyak na layunin persons hair and ask them if there going to the game tonight
3)Offer them hair
4)tell them about your period last night
5)tell them about the bird and the bees
6)rub your self against the teacher
7)look in to a walang tiyak na layunin persons eyes and make a very weird face
8)showing your friend your dick
9)come to skool pag-awit the barney song
10)talk to your friend and take off your wig and ipakita them your really miley cyrus
11)pick your nose and ask someone if they want a bite
12)rape a walang tiyak na layunin person
13)start crying in the hall for no reason
14)JUMP!!!!!!!
O_O I pag-ibig THE ipakita SO walang tiyak na layunin I KNOW THIS DOESNT GO WITH THIS CLUB BUT ITS CALLED RANODM DO U GET IT GET IT I MAY BE FAST AND I I CAN I CAN ICAN CINA AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LOL U ARE SO NICE U ARE SO NICE DONT DENYYYYYY
me: AHHHHHHHHHHHH OK OK FRED! CALM DOWN
fred: ok SO I pag-ibig ICE CREMA AND CAKE AND STUFF keth: ur weird
fred: SHUT Up!!! SO AND I LIKE STICKERS AND STUFF AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
me: FRED! calm down ur going to fast! OK OK CUT THE ipakita CUT THE SHOW! ok i think he ate to much kendi freddd fred: OK I A- *falls on ground
me: OH MY GOSH FRED YOU OK!! ice cream o_o
me: AHHHHHHHHHHHH OK OK FRED! CALM DOWN
fred: ok SO I pag-ibig ICE CREMA AND CAKE AND STUFF keth: ur weird
fred: SHUT Up!!! SO AND I LIKE STICKERS AND STUFF AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
me: FRED! calm down ur going to fast! OK OK CUT THE ipakita CUT THE SHOW! ok i think he ate to much kendi freddd fred: OK I A- *falls on ground
me: OH MY GOSH FRED YOU OK!! ice cream o_o