“ Killing someone with a spoon is not bad, but I prefer the chainsaw it's faster.”
~ Serial Killer on spoons
You found out you hate someone. No, not just hate. You FUCKING hate them. No, not just FUCKING hate them, you wanna strangle them until their head pops off then shove it down the loo but then it'll go into the sewers and then the police/the fuzz/cops/pigs/gorillas will be like, all, "omfg wutt iz goin on why iz der a hed in me toilet" and then they'll find you're fingerprint on them and be all "haha we fund woo it was it was [insert name here] and then you be like "omgomgomg" and then you get into prison and then rot there and turn into a ghost and the only thing you can do is go onto Uncyclopedia and look up how to kill people with Spoons.
Not that I would know, of course.
But you pag-ibig Spoons. Spoons are sexy. Someone is not. Someone out there is NOT sexy. Whether that's you, yourself, or maybe perhaps YOU, That someone shall be your victim. And your victim Shall die... sa pamamagitan ng SPOON.
STEP ONE
1) First, you need a good Spoon...like a big sopas Spoon. 2) Find the person you hate / or someone that you want to kill with the Spoon! 3) Make sure you take them somewhere secret where no-one can hear them screaming. 4) Duct tape their mouth and hands together, but don't forget to duct tape their legs together in case they try to run! 5) start threatening them that your gonna hurt their kitten!
STEP TWO
Learn the ancient art of Tai-Spong.
For many thousands of years, Buddhist monks in the Shaolin temple had denied their existence. They will always say "There is no Spoon", but this was a diversion to hide the terrible truth, of the deadly art of Tai-Spong. Of course, Tai-Spong doesn't actually matter, only whether you hate that someone or not. But you do hate them. That's why you are killing them...with a Spoon.
STEP THREE
Know your victim:
* How much do they weigh?
* Is he/she physically fit?
* Is it Tuesday?
* Do you own a kitten?
* Do you like honey?
* How far away are you from the moon?
* Do they have a family?
* Do you have a family?
* Why don't you have a family?
Of course, none of these tanong actually matter, only whether you hate that someone or not. But you do hate them. That's why you are killing them...with a Spoon.
STEP FOUR
You need to choose your weapon (see step 1) and practice with it (ask the hospitals for a free corpse to train on or just find a daycare, and use a sleeping child). You need to sneak up on your victim (when he is masturbating or taking a bath or something like that) And of course:Atttaaaaackkk!!!
~ Serial Killer on spoons
You found out you hate someone. No, not just hate. You FUCKING hate them. No, not just FUCKING hate them, you wanna strangle them until their head pops off then shove it down the loo but then it'll go into the sewers and then the police/the fuzz/cops/pigs/gorillas will be like, all, "omfg wutt iz goin on why iz der a hed in me toilet" and then they'll find you're fingerprint on them and be all "haha we fund woo it was it was [insert name here] and then you be like "omgomgomg" and then you get into prison and then rot there and turn into a ghost and the only thing you can do is go onto Uncyclopedia and look up how to kill people with Spoons.
Not that I would know, of course.
But you pag-ibig Spoons. Spoons are sexy. Someone is not. Someone out there is NOT sexy. Whether that's you, yourself, or maybe perhaps YOU, That someone shall be your victim. And your victim Shall die... sa pamamagitan ng SPOON.
STEP ONE
1) First, you need a good Spoon...like a big sopas Spoon. 2) Find the person you hate / or someone that you want to kill with the Spoon! 3) Make sure you take them somewhere secret where no-one can hear them screaming. 4) Duct tape their mouth and hands together, but don't forget to duct tape their legs together in case they try to run! 5) start threatening them that your gonna hurt their kitten!
STEP TWO
Learn the ancient art of Tai-Spong.
For many thousands of years, Buddhist monks in the Shaolin temple had denied their existence. They will always say "There is no Spoon", but this was a diversion to hide the terrible truth, of the deadly art of Tai-Spong. Of course, Tai-Spong doesn't actually matter, only whether you hate that someone or not. But you do hate them. That's why you are killing them...with a Spoon.
STEP THREE
Know your victim:
* How much do they weigh?
* Is he/she physically fit?
* Is it Tuesday?
* Do you own a kitten?
* Do you like honey?
* How far away are you from the moon?
* Do they have a family?
* Do you have a family?
* Why don't you have a family?
Of course, none of these tanong actually matter, only whether you hate that someone or not. But you do hate them. That's why you are killing them...with a Spoon.
STEP FOUR
You need to choose your weapon (see step 1) and practice with it (ask the hospitals for a free corpse to train on or just find a daycare, and use a sleeping child). You need to sneak up on your victim (when he is masturbating or taking a bath or something like that) And of course:Atttaaaaackkk!!!
10) cuz they are cool (literally), i mean, they live on ice flows
9) flying is overrated anyway
8) dude, they can swim!
7) they waddle
6) they're always dressed for the occasion
5) the guys care for the eggs (awww! devoted daddies)
4) they upchuck their pagkain (and they don't think it's gross)
3) they waddle...oh, i already put that, didn't i?
2) they have a tv show! (the penguins of madagascar)
1) because they are PENGUINS!!!! nuff said
Ok so me and my friend pag-ibig the mall but what makes it madami fun are the following
-When your Nawawala looking for a store ask them in a british accents! here's an example "Pardon me, could you please point me in the direction of ______" (if u are british do it in a differnt accent like american austraian ect.)
-When you go into a store adress your friend sa pamamagitan ng a differnt name and have a weird personality
-if you go into one of those store that plays the music REALLY loud, sing along like there's nobody else in the store but you and ur friend.
-Have weird conversations about walang tiyak na layunin things. like terrorists or something
Have fun with mga kaibigan at the mall!
-When your Nawawala looking for a store ask them in a british accents! here's an example "Pardon me, could you please point me in the direction of ______" (if u are british do it in a differnt accent like american austraian ect.)
-When you go into a store adress your friend sa pamamagitan ng a differnt name and have a weird personality
-if you go into one of those store that plays the music REALLY loud, sing along like there's nobody else in the store but you and ur friend.
-Have weird conversations about walang tiyak na layunin things. like terrorists or something
Have fun with mga kaibigan at the mall!