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What women should tell men...but don't

1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.

2. The susunod time you and your buddies make jokes about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet rim.

3. If we're watching football with you - it's not bonding - it's their butts.

4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.

5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.

6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.

7. If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn't ask in bed.

8. The susunod time you make jokes about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused sa pamamagitan ng rubber-necking mini-skirts.

9. If only women gossip, how do you and your mga kaibigan keep track of 'who's easy'?

10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.

11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.

12. We don't mind if you look in the mirror to check your appearance - in fact, please do!

13. When you're out with us, please wear 'our' paborito outfit rather than 'yours' - the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.

14. If you must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs. A negative grunt.

15. Don't insist that we 'get off the stupid phone' and then not talk to us.

16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.

17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily 'women's work'; besides, most of the 'dirt' and clutter is yours anyway.

18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then you never want to cook?

19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.

20. Yes, we know you can probably beat us arm wrestling' however, very few raises or promotions were gained sa pamamagitan ng arm wrestling the boss.
If you don't read this, someone else wil
posted by Shelly_McShelly
If you tied buttered mag-ihaw to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What happens if you open it somewhere else?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Why is it that when you transport something sa pamamagitan ng car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something sa pamamagitan ng ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little...
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video
walang tiyak na layunin
funny
weird
hilarious
crazy
stupid
twilight
pamilyadong tao
IDK, just surfing youtube and i found This!!!LOLXD
video
funny
stupid
walang tiyak na layunin
added by Cantwait4book5
added by Cantwait4book5
added by Tamar20
added by x-menobsessed26
added by ekmilie
Source: ekmilie
added by EllentheStrange
Source: google image paghahanap
added by EimieRose
posted by invadercalliope
I wanna be the very best

Like no one ever was

To catch them is my real test

To train them is my cause

I will travel across the land

Searching far and wide

Teach Pokemon to understand

The power that's inside

Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all--

It's you and me

I know it's my destiny

Pokemon!

Ooooh, you're my best friend

In a world we must defend

Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all--

Our hearts so true

Our courage will pull us through

You teach me and I'll teach you

Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all!

Gotta catch 'em all!

Yeeaa.

Every challenge along the way

With courage I can face



To claim my rightful place

Come with me the time is right...
continue reading...
posted by jessicamc26
A stoner called the apoy department and said, "Come quick my house is on fire!" The Fireman asked "How do we get there?" The stoner says "DUH, the big red truck!"






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THIS IS FUNNY
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THIS IS FUNNY

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THIS IS FUNNY

THIS IS FUNNYAHAHAHAHAHA
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THIS IS FUNNY

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posted by sapherequeen
 :)
:)
I just want to take the time to thank everyone here who has known me, been on my side, is a tagahanga of me, cares about me, etc. :)

I appreciate every single person here, and despite my being very moody at times, I will always care for those who feel the same towards me :D

I noticed that I've been very...unpleasant on Fanpop towards some people, and I apologize for that. All I could say was that I was in the Darkest Time of my life, and it consumed me entirely. But now, that will change >:)

I am me again. I pag-ibig and respect those who have always been there for me, were kind to me, are my fans, and appreciate each and every one of you for the rest of my life :)

I pag-ibig you all! Have a beautiful, wonderful araw :D
 -LOL!-
-LOL!-
posted by KatiiCullen94
dear Alice.
i don't know why i say alice anymore, i think now i write these emails to myself, to secure me that you were real, that you all were , that he was.
There is evidence that you were here. and was my best friend. But sometimes i dont know wheither i was dreaming or not, But i stop that thought to think again, if it was a dream and you diddnt exist,then how did i know your name, or did i make you up, along with every one else. Maybe i'm going crazy, from without you i dont know. But i want to find out. Do you think a crazy person can be the one to digiosed themselves?? Lets hope for...
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posted by twilight0girl
link

Nathan:
Dear Marni,
I am so sorry.
Can you forgive me for this?

Rotti:
Not the debt doctor
With the hungry scalpel!
Here's my prognosis:
Will they live...?

Hench Girls:
Doubtful.

Luigi:
Your the kalye physician
carving flesh sculptures!

Pavi:
Paint your asno like rembrandt!
Ha! You Like-a that?!

Rotti:
Better start praying when you see him coming.

Luigi:
cause tonight its curtains!

Luigi, Pavi and Rotti:
Youre the night surgeon!

Chorus:
Remember who you are.

Nathan:
I remember...

Genterns:
Remember what you did to Marni.

Chorus:
Remember who you are.

Nathan:
I remember...

Genterns:
Remember...
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added by youknowit101
Source: trollposts@tumblr
1)"Why, do you find me irresistible?"

2)"No, I just dress better than you"

3)"You're a double gay. No returnsies!"

4)"I pag-ibig the segundo grade insults, *insert name here*. Honestly, isn't it strange how "gay" has come to replace "stupid"? And so what if I was gay? Insulting my sexual orientation is pointless.

NOW...if a girl says you're gay, and you actually are, I find the best burn is: "At least I can get a boyfriend."

5)Look them in the face with a deadpan expression. Simply say, "Yes. I'm gay," and walk away. Take their thunder away. It's such a juvenile thing to say in the first place.
Or...
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1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with madami than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all araw but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...
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added by edwardcarlisle
Source: dumage
added by edwardcarlisle
Source: listal