1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with mga kaibigan in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours sa pamamagitan ng hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal sa pamamagitan ng conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip kaluban ng baril for your
remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying madami any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over sa pamamagitan ng clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink kartutso across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler walang tiyak na layunin numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for walang tiyak na layunin times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train susunod Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five minutos before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints sa pamamagitan ng the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of kahel traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your hapunan with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in walang tiyak na layunin spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When pasko caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture sa pamamagitan ng tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your pasko lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra upuan for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a mga tula recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their sagot in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with mga kaibigan in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours sa pamamagitan ng hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal sa pamamagitan ng conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip kaluban ng baril for your
remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying madami any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over sa pamamagitan ng clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink kartutso across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler walang tiyak na layunin numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for walang tiyak na layunin times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train susunod Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five minutos before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints sa pamamagitan ng the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of kahel traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your hapunan with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in walang tiyak na layunin spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When pasko caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture sa pamamagitan ng tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your pasko lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra upuan for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a mga tula recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their sagot in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
"Do you hear that?"Alicia asked."What?"Henry and Sarah asked."That,that,that sound.It's like."Alicia banged the floor."No.I don't hear anything."Said Sarah."Come here."Alicia said.
They got out.
Alicia beckoned them.
"There!It's getting louder!"
The banging continued.
Alicia found herself in the woods.
She stopped.
Henry and Sarah caught up to her.
Alicia covered her mouth.
"What.Is.I-i-it?"Alicia asked.
Down the steep hill.Was a door the door was buried in the ground.under leaves.
The three mga kaibigan stepped down.The noise grew louder.Henry and Sarah could hear it now.
Alicia was down first.She saw a keyhole.Alicia looked for the key.
"ALICIA!"Sarah said.
Alicia looked down,stopped her foot from going down,And backed up.A blood puddle.
"Oh my go-"
"The key!It's in the blood!"Henry said.
"Ew!I'm not picking it up!"Alicia said.
Sarah looked around and pushed Henry forward.
Henry picked up the key,And put it in the keyhole...
They got out.
Alicia beckoned them.
"There!It's getting louder!"
The banging continued.
Alicia found herself in the woods.
She stopped.
Henry and Sarah caught up to her.
Alicia covered her mouth.
"What.Is.I-i-it?"Alicia asked.
Down the steep hill.Was a door the door was buried in the ground.under leaves.
The three mga kaibigan stepped down.The noise grew louder.Henry and Sarah could hear it now.
Alicia was down first.She saw a keyhole.Alicia looked for the key.
"ALICIA!"Sarah said.
Alicia looked down,stopped her foot from going down,And backed up.A blood puddle.
"Oh my go-"
"The key!It's in the blood!"Henry said.
"Ew!I'm not picking it up!"Alicia said.
Sarah looked around and pushed Henry forward.
Henry picked up the key,And put it in the keyhole...
2. Troll. If you troll, you will be banned in 10 segundos flat and nobody will feel sorry for you when you whine about your old account being banned.
3. Speak 1337. if u t4lk li3k d3s, nobody will take you seriously.
4. Talk trash about Hetalia. I don't like Hetalia, but I don't talk trash about it. The fangirls will rape you with hate if you say rude things.
5. Be anything like dudelol17.
Taylor:*Wakes up*LIZZIE!*panting*
Lizzie:Taylor!Taylor,Calm down.
Taylor's P.O.V:
I looked around and saw Charm,Amber,Amy,and Lizzie.
Taylor:What?Wait what happened??
Amy:You were outside,Had scratches on your arm,so we drove you to the hospital.
I looked at my arm,A scratch ran down my arm,My eyes got huge.
Lizzie:It's okay!You're okay!
Then Amber turned on the TV.
Lady on news:Today Johnathan Jonesmen was arrested for murdering his wife.And today,his 3 daughters are in a orphanage.And his oldest daughter,Taylor is in the hospital.
I started to get dizzy.I almost dozed off when.
Lizzie:Taylor,Here *hand a bracelet*
The Bracelet had five rhinestones, and 5 charms.One had a little girl dancing,The segundo one was a key,The third one had a puso lock,The fourth one had a lock,The fifth one had Locket,I opened it up.I saw a litrato of Me and Lizzie.
Lizzie:Taylor!Taylor,Calm down.
Taylor's P.O.V:
I looked around and saw Charm,Amber,Amy,and Lizzie.
Taylor:What?Wait what happened??
Amy:You were outside,Had scratches on your arm,so we drove you to the hospital.
I looked at my arm,A scratch ran down my arm,My eyes got huge.
Lizzie:It's okay!You're okay!
Then Amber turned on the TV.
Lady on news:Today Johnathan Jonesmen was arrested for murdering his wife.And today,his 3 daughters are in a orphanage.And his oldest daughter,Taylor is in the hospital.
I started to get dizzy.I almost dozed off when.
Lizzie:Taylor,Here *hand a bracelet*
The Bracelet had five rhinestones, and 5 charms.One had a little girl dancing,The segundo one was a key,The third one had a puso lock,The fourth one had a lock,The fifth one had Locket,I opened it up.I saw a litrato of Me and Lizzie.
There once lived a 10 taon old girl named,Scarlett.
Her family lived in a Big,HUGE,Mansion.
S:Mom!!!PLEASE!!!!!!!
M:If I say Fine,will you stop?
S:YES!!!
M:Yes.
S:(Hugs mom)THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!WOO HO!!
Scarlett ran up to call her 3 friends,Nancy,Penny,and Chloe.
S:(Calls)SHE sinabi YES!!!
Then her brother,Ethan,Came in,holding a bag of chips.
E:SHUT UP,SCARLETT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
S:SHHHHUUUUTT UUUUPPP!!!
Then he stomped out.
M:Scarlett!I just remembered!I have to work tomorrow!
S:So?We're responsible,Mom!Besides,(mumbles)Ethan...is....(gulp,pretends to barf)Responsible.
M:Um...I don't know
S:Don't make me say it...AGAIN!
M:Fine!!But you have to help me with the groceries!
S:(Makes face)Fine!Last deal!
M:Come on!
--------------------------------------------------
TO BE CONTINUED!
Her family lived in a Big,HUGE,Mansion.
S:Mom!!!PLEASE!!!!!!!
M:If I say Fine,will you stop?
S:YES!!!
M:Yes.
S:(Hugs mom)THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!WOO HO!!
Scarlett ran up to call her 3 friends,Nancy,Penny,and Chloe.
S:(Calls)SHE sinabi YES!!!
Then her brother,Ethan,Came in,holding a bag of chips.
E:SHUT UP,SCARLETT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
S:SHHHHUUUUTT UUUUPPP!!!
Then he stomped out.
M:Scarlett!I just remembered!I have to work tomorrow!
S:So?We're responsible,Mom!Besides,(mumbles)Ethan...is....(gulp,pretends to barf)Responsible.
M:Um...I don't know
S:Don't make me say it...AGAIN!
M:Fine!!But you have to help me with the groceries!
S:(Makes face)Fine!Last deal!
M:Come on!
--------------------------------------------------
TO BE CONTINUED!
Teacher:Okay Suzi go to the map and find North America.
Suzi:Right here!
Teacher:Good job!Now Bobby,who discovered America?
Bobby:Suzi Did!
god I cracked up today!
------------------------------------------------
Speaking of today!My class gotta go to our 'BOOK BUDDIES' Class room and help make gingerbread houses!My book buddy's name was Addy,(mine is Abby!)Anyways!It was like...SPRINKLE CITY!!If you were an ant,You would drown in sprinkles!!!!!!!!!GOD
My friend ,Sam,Was susunod to me...and she had like 50 spaz attacks!She was super hyped up!!!!Wow!They really shouldn't Put kendi in front of her!And I just can't stand the sprinkles!!!!God!I almost devoured the icing!There was like M&Ms,Gummy Drops,
kendi Canes,Nerds(one girl was like' Oh my god i pag-ibig these!),a lot madami too!Plus my friend Sam made a story called 'The Black Dragons' Kinda like The girl with the dragon tattoo!Listening to Taylor Swift's"Permanent marker"!Love it!
BYE GUTS AND GURLS!
Suzi:Right here!
Teacher:Good job!Now Bobby,who discovered America?
Bobby:Suzi Did!
god I cracked up today!
------------------------------------------------
Speaking of today!My class gotta go to our 'BOOK BUDDIES' Class room and help make gingerbread houses!My book buddy's name was Addy,(mine is Abby!)Anyways!It was like...SPRINKLE CITY!!If you were an ant,You would drown in sprinkles!!!!!!!!!GOD
My friend ,Sam,Was susunod to me...and she had like 50 spaz attacks!She was super hyped up!!!!Wow!They really shouldn't Put kendi in front of her!And I just can't stand the sprinkles!!!!God!I almost devoured the icing!There was like M&Ms,Gummy Drops,
kendi Canes,Nerds(one girl was like' Oh my god i pag-ibig these!),a lot madami too!Plus my friend Sam made a story called 'The Black Dragons' Kinda like The girl with the dragon tattoo!Listening to Taylor Swift's"Permanent marker"!Love it!
BYE GUTS AND GURLS!
