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1)"Why, do you find me irresistible?"

2)"No, I just dress better than you"

3)"You're a double gay. No returnsies!"

4)"I pag-ibig the segundo grade insults, *insert name here*. Honestly, isn't it strange how "gay" has come to replace "stupid"? And so what if I was gay? Insulting my sexual orientation is pointless.

NOW...if a girl says you're gay, and you actually are, I find the best burn is: "At least I can get a boyfriend."

5)Look them in the face with a deadpan expression. Simply say, "Yes. I'm gay," and walk away. Take their thunder away. It's such a juvenile thing to say in the first place.
Or...
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1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a bilog that had its two sides gently compressed sa pamamagitan ng a Thigh Master.

4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7. The ballerina...
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posted by chowjoyi
41 ways to annoy your parents



1. Follow them everywhere.

2. When they say your name, moo loudly like a cow.

3. If you have a dog, follow the dog around on all-fours and say "Bark." over and over again really loudly.

4. Talk to a pen constantly.

5. When your mga kaibigan come over, pretend to be talking in code and have your friend say 'Your-a pa smells-a like a woman-a." If they crack the code, play stupid.

6. Have a dozen of imaginary mga kaibigan that you ask their opinion of everything.

7. After you have your bath, balutin a bath towel around you and then walk outside of the bathroom. When your parents ask...
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I never thought I would be doing a listahan like this because when I do lists based on looks it's on women. As a straight guy, it's easier for me to rank women than men. However, when I put my mind to something I try my best to come through. I had already done this listahan with women and I remember being asked if I would ever do it with men, so here it is. Keep in mind this is all just my personal opinion as a straight guy and it wasn't easy to figure out AT ALL! Please comment but be polite. Also, always comment because I worked HARD on this and during a time I had just had laser eye surgery and...
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1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers you know.
12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to alisin above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill...
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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my listahan of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let you know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything or eating anything you might spit it or something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the walis late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the baya they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorite...
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posted by TOTALIzzyluver
1) Lick your best friend's foot for 10 seconds
2) Rub glue on your face and stick various things on it.
3) Go up to a walang tiyak na layunin strange and ask them for $50 dollars for a nose job
4) Go to a public bathroom and sit on the floor and when someone walks in yell this "GO AWAY! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M CLEANING!"
5)Put on a strange outfit and stand on the side of the road and throw pretzels at passing cars
6) Go to Wal-mart and go to a worker and have a conversation that goes kinda like this
YOU-Excuse me. Do you guys sell like everything? WALMART PERSON- Yeah. YOU-So where can I find the cars? My son wants a...
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just got this while browsing the net

1.I was kidnapped sa pamamagitan ng terrorists and they only just let me go, so I didn't have time to do it.

2.I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to my teacher's heavy workload.

3.A bunch of nerds estola it to make sure theirs were completely perfect.

4.We ran out of toilet paper at my house last night, and my Dad isn't feeling so good. He grabbed it in a big rush and I haven't seen it since.

5.My mother took it to have it framed.

6.It was in my back pocket and a pickpocket estola it.

7.I let somebody copy it but they never gave it back.

8.My mom's whooping cough vaccination...
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posted by Bluekait
French Fries are deep fried in horse oil in France.

Kittens are born with blue eyes, but change when they get older.

People born in November are madami likely to become serial killers.

Everything you see is actually upside down and your brain just flips it around.

You can't actually multi-task.

Easily distracted people are the ones who are the most creative.

When a person appears in your dreams, that person misses you.

Music can lead teens to depression.

You are madami likely to dream when you are depressed.

Your odor is as unique as your fingerprint.

If you tear off paper from bottles, you are sexually...
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posted by vlad_todd_fan
This is A TRUE STORY AND IF YOU DON'T PASS THIS ON YOU DON'T HAVE A SOUL!!!

My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All araw long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear...
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posted by Crazy_NarutoKid
1.The Characters are awesome


2.It can make you laugh so hard


3.It can make you cry like a baby


4.The fight scenes are epic


5.Theres blood


6.They swear


7.The storyline is really good


8.Theres Ninjas'!!


9.They have Sasuke(cool)


10.The weapons they use are so coool


11.The villians are so evil.


12.It makes you wish you lived in the naruto world.


13.They have great opening and ending songs.


14.It makes you think about it all the time


15.It teaches you naruto history
added by adultswimperson
Source: Google
I found this online :)

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’ve got the secret documents!!”

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read tanong aloud, pagtatalo your sagot with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, “I’m SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking.” Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this tanong on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious...
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Jetzt geht's los Freunde
Hier ist Markus Becker und die Mallorca Cowboys und das rote Pferd

Wir singen zusammen
Da hat das rote Pferd sich einfach umgekehrt
und hat mit seinem Schwanz die Fliege abgewehrt
Die Fliege war nicht dumm,
sie machte summ,summ,summ
Und flog mit viel Gebrumm
um's rote Pferd herum

lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalala

Ok Freunde,
das war nicht schlecht für yungib Anfang
Aber da geht noch was
Seit ihr gut drauf? Jaaa
Habt ihr lust zu feiern? Jaaa
Dann macht euch bereit und singt mit uns zusammen


Die Fliege...
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added by Rainbow_Veins
 Lives: 999
Lives: 999
Howdy ya'll, Deathding back here to talk about a topic that I suddenly found interesting. I went on YouTube to see if anything was already done on this topic, but all I found was a bunch of "TOP 10 CHEATERS WHO GOT CAUGHT, LOL XD!!!! 2017 EDITION (80K LIKES IN AN oras AND I DAB!!!!!!)"

....Needless to say, the topic intrigued me, as I've been playing a game lately that quite a few people out there tend to play not so nicely in.

I think it goes without saying that us, as gamers, want to win. We desire all of that ridiculously overpowered equipment. We grind for hours just to get a few levels up....
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added by CokeTheUmbreon
added by aldrine2016
(Hello there! If you're new to this series, here's the basics. I take comments asking tanong from the last episode and answer them in the susunod article, but with Robotnik! As a result you'll see some pretty funny stuff. XD Hope you enjoy our segundo episode of Ask Dr. Robotnik!)

(I apologize for the huge delay as well, so much happened with FNAF4 coming out and whatnot. I also got heavily addicted to an awesome online flash game named Dragon Ball Z Devolution. XD Again, sorry.)

And now.... Shout-outs to the people who nagkomento in the last episode! And we have a LOT of them this time guys!...
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