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one of many of my paborito songs!!!
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every araw since his retirement 25 years ago. One araw he arrives tahanan looking downcast. "That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball I couldn't see where it went."

His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says, "Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one madami try."

"That's no good" sighs Arthur, "your brother's a hundred and three. He can't help."

"He may be a hundred and three", says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."

So the susunod araw Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty ugoy and squints down the fairway.

He turns to the brother-in-law and says, "Did you see the ball?"

"Of course I did!" replied the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight".

"Where did it go?" says Arthur.

"I don't remember."
posted by Mallory101
1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally.
2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class.
3. Twitch a lot.
4. Talk while pretending to be asleep.
5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with serbesa and dump sardines in it. Talk to them.
6. Become a subgenius.
7. Inject his/her Twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG.
8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat. When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin.
9. Speak in tongues.
10. ilipat your roommate's personal effects around. Start subtly. Gradually work up to big things, and eventually...
continue reading...
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Source: wallcoo.net
added by Rodz
Source: wallcoo.net
added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
1. You can do whatever you damn well please.

2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.

3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?

4. You can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.

5. You can slump around the house in any old thing.

6. You don't having to think about birth control, calendars or ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.

7. You can go out and flirt as much as your puso desires, without a worry in the world.

8. The toilet upuan issue -- need I say more?

9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to...
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Dress up like one of the photographers and follow people around asking them repeatedly if they would like their picture taken.
Leave large gaps in between you and the people in front of you while waiting in line.
Every time you pass a chain restraint not in use, clip it on and use it to hold back the people behind you in line.
Ask the person running the roller coaster if someone has recently thrown up on it.
Pretend to freak out on a ride so they stop it to let you off.
Offer people money for their spots in line . . . Monopoly money.
Speak in Spanish, or pretend you're deaf and start making rapid...
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I am pondering this question, it is a very difficult one to figure out. I can not seem to think of anything to make an artikulo on....

2 Hours Later

Wait I think I have an idea coming on... nope I Nawawala it... wait no I found it again... What if I write an artikulo about reasons why you should do pointe
1. you get to be taller
2. you can use them in self defense
3. you can... what you don't think that's a good idea... oh well back to the drawing board...

1 oras Later

Ok what about this... What happened when I invested in Eyepatches... hmmm titles to long how about My Eyepatch Investment.... sounds good......
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posted by ShadowFlame
THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY. Check out these actual cases:

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section
of forest while assessing the damage done sa pamamagitan ng a forest fire. The deceased
male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
back, flippers, and face mask.

A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the araw of the...
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Source: desktopnexus
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Source: flash-screen.com
added by SylarNight
Source: made sa pamamagitan ng SylarNight
added by akatsuki_otaku
Did you really have to leave?
Without saying goodbye
Leaving me in tears
Wondering why?

I was really hoping
to be madami than a friend
But for some strange reason
My plan had to end

As I recalled
That very special araw
I was thinking "hey!
What did he have to say?"

During that araw
there was lots to be sinabi
And I realized that
It all went in my head

When you sinabi "I pag-ibig you"
I sinabi "I pag-ibig you too"
But now I'm just questioning
Was it ever true?
__________________________________________________

I promised to be your friend.
Always and Forever.
Never had I thought
We would be madami
What if I did...
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10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."
9) ilipat everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elepante weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "The hair, it's growing. Growing!"
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While...
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