"The Rules" from the male side
We always hear ‘the rules’ from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. I’m not saying I like them, but it’s only fair to present both sides.
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up. You need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports: It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Crying is blackmail.
5. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.
6. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
7. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
8. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
9. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable sagot to almost every question.
10. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
11. Anything we sinabi 6 months nakaraan is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
12. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
13. If something we sinabi can be interpreted in two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
14. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
15. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
16. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
17. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. kalabasa is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauve is.
18. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
19. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
20. If you ask a tanong you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really!
22. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars.
23. You have enough clothes.
24. You have too many shoes.
25. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
26. Thank you for pagbaba this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the sopa tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it’s like camping.
From an email I got.
TAKING A WOMAN TO kama
What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78?
At 8 -- You take her to kama and tell her a story.
At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 -- You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 -- You stay in kama to avoid her story.
At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!
At 78 -- What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you???
TAKING A WOMAN TO kama
What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78?
At 8 -- You take her to kama and tell her a story.
At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 -- You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 -- You stay in kama to avoid her story.
At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!
At 78 -- What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you???
