I'm sorry for asking so many tanong but I need help with this please :'(

Yes God can read your mind. But remember, God loves you and the people that you are thinking about. So he will not make bad things happen because you are thinking about them. God made you and loves you the way you are. I don't think he will change you into someone different unless it was for your good and His glory.
God does allow bad things to happen, but promises to bring good from it for all who pag-ibig him.
The thing about having these thoughts and fears is without meaning to, you may act in a way to bring them to be. It's called self fullfilled prophecy.
God still heals. He also uses doctors to help people. My thoughts are you need a proffesional to talk to and a doctor to possibly get the correct medication. It sounds like there may be a inbalance that can be corrected. There is no shame in getting help. But it is sad seeing someone living with this.
You seem to have a really good heart. I hope and pray that you receive the help you need. I want you to live and enjoy your life to your God ibingiay potential. God bless.
P.S. You know you can always send me a message if you ever need to chat. (:

well if it just randomly pops into your mind God knows whether you're serious or not serious because that crap happens to me too but i'm not serious about it